GCPA Sequel Chapter 5
| Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 |
Chapter Five: The Crew Reunited
Author: No Name
No Name: Alright crew so check it, I got alot of living to do before I die and I ain't got time to waste so let's make it. This is why that man with Bob Saget's remains called me Strife.
*Later on Strife was sent with a Jedi Padawan to go infiltrate the village's crystal base where Mors lived.*
Strife: So kids, what's it feel like to be on such a dangerous mission like this?
Kid: Pretty scary yet exciting! This is why I became a Jedi.
Strife: Careful, it's not all about fighting.
Kid: WOW we're the same age but you're a hell of a lot more talented than me.
Strife: Thanks, I appreciate it.
*Strife and the kid arrive at Crystal Factory*
Strife: Hey kid, stay out here! This is where the sith lord is.
*In the factory*
Letpon: Yes. Soon we will be powerful enough and when we drain the power from all this reactor. We can rule the universe.
Darth Angelo: Wrong, I will rule the Universe!!!
Letpon: What?!
*Darth Angelo impales Lepton with laser sword*
Lepton: How could you!??!
Dartth Angelo: I'm not stupid! You never intended on helping keep mother alive, you just wanted me to be a pawn so you can get your throne as empire of the universe. Well I figured since I am going to obtain all this power, I might as well use it myself and find a way to keep everyone I love alive. *watches a container with a Jedi knight infused with the power of the crystals pop out its chamber all deformed and ugly*
Darth Angelo: Is this what I will become?
Strife: No, it's what you already are...
Darth: What!! What non-sense are you rambling about? Answer me!!!
Strife: Fine, I will. You see when I was born I was the child of the prophecy. To restore order to the Force. But later on the Jedi Council, I felt a strange disturbance in the Force and concluded that I must be killed, yet every attempt to kill me was thwarted by some mystical entity. I wasn't meant to die, so they created a clone of me. They infused him with the crystal's powers in order to stop my rampage if it ever came...but the prophecy got the wrong, it was you who went to the dark side. And now this is what has happened., , ,
Darth: Me a clone? Never! I'm no clone, YOU ARE!!! I will become so powerful that I will become a GOD!!!!!!!
Strife: Not on my watch. *Strife draws laser sword and runs towards Darth Angelo. As Strife is almost gong to strike Darth Angelo, Darth Angelo stops time and kills Strife.*
Darth: AHAHAHA. I AM A GOD!!!!!!!!!
Darth: Father, I will give back this world to you. *Darth then heads to the main chamber which contained Bob Saget's remains.* Father I will return this earth back to you..not these pathetic humans. *detaches Bob Sagat's corpse from tube*
*Flashback over*
No Name: Until this day I still don't know how I survived that encounter.
Edwin: So your name is Strife?
No Name: I choose not to live by that name. I started a new life. *puts face real close to Edwin.*
Edwin: You're not going to kiss me..I hope not.
Mr.T: No fool, he's trying to have a dramatic moment
No Name: Thanks T, look into my eyes....one looks into the past..while the other looks into the future....syke not really I was just yanking your arm!
Edwin: Yeah, stop that it hurts! *Edwin turns to his arm and sees No Name pulling it*
No Name: I'm going to go now.
Edwin: Is it for the women?
Lupine: Yeah it is...I'm going to go see if I'm alive.
Edwin: Yeah Lupine you go and do that....anyways!
No Name: What the hell are you talking about? What women? I'm just going to go take some of Que Pasa's chicken cutlets.
Edwin: Oh sorry, I got caught in the moment.
No Name: It's okay.
*Edwin transmutates a gun and shoots in the air 3 times, then transmuatesa a stereo playing Real Folk Blues.*
No Name: You alright? *Dr.Abassi comes by* Who are you? What are you doing on the ship!?!
Dr Abassi: I am here on behalf of my master, Cap'n Crunch. I am the ruiner of Fun. My fun sense were tingling and I heard you guys having fun in my sound proof booth all the way in China! Prepare to face detention..IN HELL!
No Name: It's ON! * Edwin and No Name get into battle stance and lunge at Abassi in a cool anime like style, then a freeze frame occurs.*
Krazy: The mole people will be showered in your lady juice while they think of bunnies.
Peter Griffin: I still can't believe it's not butter.....I'll run for Quahog's mayor next episode...Can I do it? Stay tuned to find out!
Author: That Krazy Dude
Dr. Abbasi: I am the hall monitor of High Tech, so you shall all fear me or face a saturday detention threat which will never actually happen but is there to scare you because you suck and stuff and I'm all cool and Pakistani plus since High Tech is somehow attached to your ship all of a sudden I am now in charge of your ship since for some random reason your deck is part of the hall now and I also have the power to make people's minds explode when walking down hallways in groups of one or more and say really really really long sentences without breathing for a long time.
Willy: Can there actually be a group of one?
Abbasi: To me if you're there, you're a group. and all groups must die!!!
No Name: Your mom must die!!!
Edwin: Oh shit he said your mom must die!
No Name: Why did you repeat what I said?
Que Pasa: Why didn't he?
No Name: But he did!
Krazy: Your mom did.
Siren: You guys suck.
Mini Myself: Your mom sucks.
Lyssa: What's with you guys and mom jokes?
Scruffy: what's with your mom and mom jokes?
Dreamer: Stop it! You guys are so immature.
Stampede: Your baby's immature.
ADD: I'm gonna go play DDR Max 2 now. You guys can go ahead and keep on talking about the moms and babies and stuff.
Shiny: Damn stereotypes. I want some pasta. Fuck you.
eLFa: What's going on?
Krazy: Penis?
Scruffy: What is this, Yugoslavia?
*Erika Thompson runs in*
Erika: My mom knows someone from Yugoslavia.
Mr. Jefferson: There are no people from Yugoslavia. It is a collection of countries, not a place itself. *explodes*
Abbasi: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!?!?!? HOW CAN YOU HAVE SUCH BAD ATTENTION DEFECIT DISORDER!?!?!? *grabs Nemo, jumps off the ship, and they both get eaten by a penguin*
Edwin: Wow....that was an easy villain.
Salama: Not as easy as your mom!
Lupine: Ookami kage means wolf shadow. *thumbs up and cheesy smile*
*Alaine runs up and pimp smacks Lupine with white out. Everyone points and laughs as the penguin tears out Nemo's insides in the distance*
Author: That Krazy Dude
Scruffy: Hey Siren and Mini-Myself, how'd you two get here?
Siren: Umm....it's an illusion.
Mini-Myself: It's all a dream...
Siren: Now we're gonna go back to Gorenicus which is where we're supposed to be.
*Siren and Mini-Myself start making weird hand movements while slowly walking away.*
Siren and Mini-Myself: *making weird hand movements* This is an illusion...
*Mr. Meyer runs in.*
Mr. Meyer: Okay now, everyone do it with me! *does same weird hand movements* VITTORIIIII!!!!
*The crew whispers to each other in the background*
Mr. Meyer: I don't like it when you guys talk when I'm talking. It actually annoys me. It annoys me so much that it makes me wanna...*Nemo spawns next to him*...ROAR!!!! *eats Nemo. Then eats the cable that gives "electrical shock" and explodes*
Author: No Name
No Name: Yes.. so what's next Cap'n?
Scruffy: I got a 92 in my Geometery test!!!!
Que Pasa: Excellent, let's feast!
Edwin: Yeah good job.
Stampede: Yeah good job!
Mini: Oh man Edwin, come look at "Karate Chop Pimp"! Oh yeah, good job...
Miss Knight: I know because you're small you tend to be immature. *cheap chuckle* Now now, I want you to join with the crew to write the symbolism on The Scarlet Letter.
Que Pasa: NEVER!
Miss Knight: TOO BAD Mr. John Murro! The fickle finger of fate falls on you!
*Que Pasa snatches the nasty old gray monkey finger from Miss Knight*
Miss Knight: NO! I'm melting! MELTING!
*A big piece of slab falls on Miss Knight and her feet curl up. Then a group of flying monkeys come in*
Monkey 1: Come join us...we need help our land is being ravaged by an evil overlord!
Scruffy: Do we have to I just got a 92...
*Monkey flings poo at Cap'n.*
Que Pasa: Two can play at that game!
*Que Pasa flings poo.*
Monkey 2: You are the chosen one.
Neo: What's up braah.
*Elsewhere in the land of Puerto Rico*
Mors: Excellent, destroy this village...for father...soon those pirates will come and we can sacrifice them for the opening of the gate between this world and the Bizzaro one.
Dr. Nina: Yes-ki!
*Back at the ship. No Name, Edwin, Stampede, Scruffy, and Que Pasa huddle up and talk about what they're going to do.*
Stampede: So will we do this or not?
Que Pasa: I dunno...
Scruffy: zzzzzZzZZzzz
Mr. Malk: SCRUFFY!
Scruffy: My bad...yeah yeah, question number 3 yeah.
Monkey 1: So it's settled. You will help us fight the evil overlord.
Scruffy: I didn't really agree...
Monkey 1: And we're off! Russian-ski power!
*The group was instantly transported to Puerto Rico. There they see fire and destruction everywhere*
Scruffy: Man this place is a mess...
Que Pasa: Oh hey look, there's a nice bright flower that sticks our amongst the chaos and destruction!
*Steven Shterrenburg steps on the flower holding a microphone*
Steven: Well look what we got here...look what the cat dragged in...look who just happend to drop by....long time no see... mi casa es tu casa...
Edwin: Okay we get the point!
No Name: Why did you kill the younglings!
Steven: WHY! Because my master says to...and she also told me to eliminate you!
*Steven Shtrenburg uses his microphone to send a sonic boom knocking the group back and continues to do so until the group is holding one arm with one eye open, bleeding with their shirts torn and they're all beat down and bruised*
Stampede: He...He's too strong....
Que Pasa: I have an idea! Steven I challenge you to a BIOPARDY!
Steven: You're on!
Que Pasa: Fine if we win second place then you have to kill yourself and call off all your men and lead us to your master!
Steven: And if I win?
Que Pasa: Nothing.
Steven: Sounds reasonable enough...*snickers and mumbles under his breath* Suckers, little do the know I'm getting the better deal!
No Name: What did you say?
Steven: Nothing just doing oyur typical "evil guy talk to himself" mumble
No Name: AAAh soudesu!
*The ravaged village changes into the resource center where a bunch of High Tech students are sitting in the audience and 3 other teams.*
Steven: Now for the introductions!
Morgan Freeman: After the four introductions are shown, the GCPA's being the best, the ROUND OF KNOWLEDGE begins! The Flower Rangers dominate the round of knowledge, while the two other groups, Hispanic Bo-tanic and the Fruit of Loom, don't do very good. The GCPA do fairly well, no more no less.
Dreamer: Dammit we didn't do so good!
Nicky: Don't worry we still have the charade, the diagram pinning, the fashion show, and the rap. *turns to stare at No Name in a hoodie while "Lose Yourself" by Eminem plays*
Morgan Freeman: The GCPA continue to do bad, but not as worst as the Fruit of the Loom or Hispanic Bo-tanics.
Nicky: Dammit guys we're being cheated!
Que Pasa: Damn right!
Edwin: We still have the rap!
No Name: Right....*walks up to stage and raps and then walks back*
GPCA: Alright No Name that was good!
Que Pasa: Let me give you a congratulatory mongoose in the pants!
Zandra: MONGOOSE PORN!
Edwin: CONGRATULATORY HEADBUTT!
Que Pasa: Are they humans with blue petals or blue petals shaped like humans!
Steven: Now after being an unfair judge and lousy host I will now announce the winner! In fourth place...Hispanic Bo-tanics...third...Fruit of the Loom....second...
*Stampede bites his nails and then runs out of nails to bite, so he grabs Edwin's and starts biting them.*
Steven: Second is the GCPA! And first is the Flower Rangers!
No Name: DAMN! WE LOST!
Que Pasa: *slaps No Name* No you fool! We've done it! We won second place...somewhere Lorissa is looking down on us...happy...
*Lorissa stands on a balcony*
Lorissa: I'm up here guys!
Edwin: If you listen close enough you can still here her heavenly voice...*cries*
Steven: HA! You fools how does it feel to win second! Not as fufilling as first I bet!
Stampede: Yeah, but you have to kill yourself and call your men off...
Steven: True....but you guys have lower self-esteem so there's no way you'll stand a chance against my master!
*GCPA walks away while Steven still talks and then kills himself. The GCPA continues to walk down a long corridor in a stone castle until they come face to face with Dr. Nina with scantrons in her hands*
Dr. Nina: Time to take your test...of doom! And if you survive I'll give you free cookies and pizza!
Que Pasa: I don't really wanna try but ok...
*The group gets their tests and scantrons handed in. After a good 45 minutes, the crew finishes.*
Que Pasa: I didn't really try...
Stampede: Some quesitons were hard...
Edwin: It has nothing to do with plants!
Scruffy: Poncho!
No Name: Let's get second slices of pizza!
Dr Nina: The results are in!...You...all ...passed....*sponstaneously combusts*
Que Pasa: Hey that was one of my answers!
Edwin: Let's get seconds!
Mr. Feeney: Sorry! No can do!
Edwin: What the hell man you look like a street light with your green shirt!
Que Pasa: Yeah, your shirt says go but your pants say no!
Mr. Feeney: How dare you challenge my authority...I am a physics teacher...I CAN CONTROL THIS REALITY WITH EQUATIONS AND LOGIC!
No Name: Leave this to me....
Author: No Name
Mr. Feeney: Join me No Name, together we can rule the universe as father and son!
Clyde: Not on my watch!
Mr. Feeney: Clyde you imcompetent man stand back!
Clyde: Stand Front!
*Mr. Feeney does Force choke*
Clyde: But...how...you're no jedi...or judo master...OR YOUR MOM!
Krazy: Oh man he got you there!
Mr. Feeney: How!? I can control the very existence of reality with physics!
Scruffy: Who cares about the laws of physics?
Que Pasa:....uuh the physics police?
*No Name has a flashback of him as a child with father*
Father: Ahaha you'll never be as good as me!
No Name: But dad I want to be a theoretical physicist!
Father: Theo...Th..e..o...I can't pronounce it so it must be stupid! You'll never live up to your old man!
*No Name runs off and cries. The flashback ends*
Mr. Feeney: You must be a engineer!
No Name: Never!
*Mr. Feeney releases the force choke on Clyde and uses Force Lightning on No Name.*
No Name:AAAAAHHHH!
*Clyde turns back and forth looking at Mr. Feeney and then at No Name. After several mintues and a near death experience for No Name, Clyde picks up Mr. Feeney. Clyde is shocked by the force lightning while carrying Mr. Feeney and then finally throws him down the reactor shaft.*
Clyde: *heav breathing* ...Son remove...my mask...
No Name: But you'll die with out it!
* No NAme removes mask to reveal Hayden Christian.*
No Name: So I guess I'm supposed to ...leave now..?
Hayden: Yeah...hurry though! May the force be with you!
Krazy: Yeah cuz it was certainly with your mom!
*The crew gets in the Millenium Falcon and go into hyperspace. Nemo is playing chess with Chewbacca*
Chewbacca: ARRRWRWRWRA!
C3: I belive that you should let him win...
Nemo: Yeah right!
Han: His speices get very fierce and can take a man's arm out of his socket!
Nemo: Well I'm not a man, I'm a boy! *gets head torn off*
Han: But for boys, he tears their heads off...that's what you get for not letting me finish!
*Everyone laughs at Chewy sitcom style*
*Flashback of Anakin and Obi Wan*
Obi Wan: You can't trust your eyes, they fool you! Now come over here and let me show you how its done.
*Anakin walks over with eyes close. Obi Wan begins to touch him*
Anakin: Are you sure this is how it's done?
Obi: Dammit boy, who's on the Jedi Council me or you!
*Anakin cries*: You...
Obi: *with pedophile snicker* Damn right!
*Morgan Freeman stands in frornt of fireplace with big fur coat on*
Morgan Freeman: And that my friends is how Old Saint Nick married the Easter Bunny...giving birth to Kwanza! Happy Chanukah everybody and a Happy Ramadan to all!
Author: No Name
Genocide of the GCPA
part 1
*The GCPA crew begins in a space battle with Count Gonad's army over Puerto Rico.*
No Name: We gotta get into those docks!
Cap'n: Right everyone, phalanx their right side! Mini take out their frigate! Mr.T take out their cannons so No Name and Edwin can enter safely!
MIni: Roger!
Mr.T: Roger!? Roger?! Boy ma name dun don't be no dam Roger! I pity the fool!
*Mr. T takes out the cannons with his gold while Mini shrinks his V-Wing to enter the frigate undetected and blow the frigate up from the inside.*
No Name: Hurry! The dock is closing!
*The two thrust into the dock barely making it*
Edwin: You're too reckless!
Krazy: Your mom is too reckless!
No Name: How'd you get in here?
Krazy: Penis *explodes*
Edwin: Let's go!
*The two run off through the hallways when Abassi stops them*
Abassi: Where is your hall pass? * Abassi then forms blaster rifles from his hands and a shield around him*
Edwin: Lets take him out.
*No Name reflects several blaster shots back at Abassi, taking out his shield. Edwin then transmutates a spike to impale Abassi*
No Name: Quickly we must save the chancellor!
*The two make haste and finally arrive at Cound Gonad's room where the chancellor was caught*
Count Gonad: Well well...
No Name: I've grown stronger since the last it we fought *flashback of COunt Gonad and No Name slapping each other like little girls*
Count Gonad: Good then!
*No Name draws his laser sword and so does Gonad*
No Name: I'll stall him enough so you can get what we need!
Edwin: Right
*Edwin runs to the chancellor*
Chancellor: Oh you've come to save me!
Edwin: Shut up! *slaps the chancellor* We just came here because you have the keys to the ship! I told cap'n not to gamble the keys!
*Meanwhile No Name does battle with Gonad.*
Edwin: Let's go!
No Name: Right! *force pushes Gonad and makes the walkway collapse on him*
*The two run out and get in their ships*
Cap'n: MIni blow that ship up!
Mini: Right! Initiating nuclear war heads! *shoots two muclear missles at Gonad's ship. A giant mushroom cloud appears and incinerates everything within a 100 feet radius*
Edwin: Can you land this ship?
No Name: Landing this ship is irrelevant!
*The GPCA ship lands turbulently on the runway*
Que Pasa: We did it!
Stampede: Yeah!
*Days later*
Cap'n: Hey guys, it's a letter from Australia!
Edwin: What's it say?
Que Pasa: I can't read so...
Mr. T: It appears to say that we're invited to go do some research and scuba diving and that sort of stuff.
Cap'n: Cool lets go!
*Elsewhere*
Chancellor: Look what they have done, I was burned during the incident!
*Audience remains in shock*
Chancellor: I have no choice but to become Emperor! This republic is too full of opinions and chaos!
Chancellor: Initiate order 66!
*Mysterioius Cloaked Shadowy Man appears behind the chancellor*
*The GCPA crew arrive at Australia*
Que Pasa: Cap'n, why are you in a fur coat?
Cap'n:...I thought it would be cold....
Stampede: Let's go to our hotel room!
*The crew enter the hotel*
Edwin: Wow, there are alot of students here!
No Name: Yeah there is...
Cap'n: Eh let's go to our rooms, let's fraternize later.
*The crew heads off to their individual rooms*
*No Name enters his room. A dark figure appears in a hood. No Name draws his laser sword*
Mors: Hello...
No Name: What do you want?
Mors: I want nothing...I just came here to tell you that the navy, Captain Frzlgnd, has set up this little "vacation". He really intends on killing you all, even the students!
No Name: Not the younglings!
Mors: As we speak they plan on blockading your ports. They will then attack you from sea, move in and trap you in the center of the island. They will then kill you all and later send a orbiting satellite crashing down on this place to insure the deaths of all the GCPA and soon to be GCPA members!
No Name: Blasphemy!
Mors: I can help you save them! The Jedi way does not allow you to use the full extent of oyur power, for they are afraid. I will can teach! Join me! I will help prevent the deaths of the ones you love!
No Name: I...I...I will join you master...
Mors: From now on you will be named..Lord Fisica! Your first order is to go destroy the navy!
Author: GORE-ILLA
Mors: Are you ready?
Fisica: Yeah!
Mors: Let's do this!
*Mors slaps Lord Fisica on the butt as he walks out, but he's immediately trampled by the pirates.*
Scruffy: That was a good battle, but we lost our Mini-Myself robot.
Stampede: One of these days we have to save the real one and Siren from whatsizface. Oh hey No Name!
Fisica: What are you doing? The navy's out there, they'll kill us all!
Edwin: The navy? We just got back from beating their asses, they were easier than ever.
Fisica: Oh. So I became evil for nothing?
Que Pasa: Think of the bright side, we stopped you before you did anything truly despicable!
Fisica: Well...
Que Pasa: What?
Fisica: You see... I kinda... might've... tripled posted...
Que Pasa: Triple-posted.
Fisica: Yeah, y-kno-
Que Pasa: Tripled-posted.
Fisica: But no one else wa-
Que Pasa: TRIPLE-POSTED! (flings Fisica into a reactor shaft)
Scruffy: Now crew, let's find Mecha-Gorenicus's lair!
*The Golden Cheesecake sails towards that place they just said. When they get there they see Siren fighting the monstrous Count Gonad's Brain. They are surrounded by wreckage and the unconcious bodies of Mini-Myself and Frenchie. Siren's clothes are torn and she looks angry as she holds up a giant bazooka.*
Count Gonad's Brain: RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Siren: Shut the hell up! (fires the bazooka and blows Count Gonad's Brain away)
Mini-Myself: Scratch one subplot.
*All the pirates run towards each other, reunited. They hug and then orgy. Except for No Name, or Pinata or whatever he's calling himself now. He looks down at a can that they toss on the side of a road and sheds a tear.*
Scruffy: Mission successful, crew. Now we must find Bob Saget's apprentice and return to our own time.
eLfa: It should be easier now. Aside from that apprentice guy, what other villains do we have to worry about?
*At the headquarters of the Unholy Alliance...*
Cap'n Crunch: Dammit, this just isn't an alliance without a third person.
Burger King: ...
Cap'n Crunch: Well at least the male prostitute I hired should be here any minute now- ah, there he is!
*Mors enters.*
Mors: I hear your alliance needs a third member. I can help you there.
Burger King: ...
Cap'n Crunch: You might make a good member, but first you must prove your skills as a prosititute. Crunchatize me!
Mors: With pleasure. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
| Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel |
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