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Author: GORE-ILLA
*The Year 2019- At Yami Yoshi's House on Yoshi's Island*
Yami Yoshi: I'm sure hungry for some food! Let's see what's in the refrigerator!
Kantii: (smacks head) Not again...
Yami: Hey! Someone... left me a cheesecake!
Kantii: Huh?
Yami: There's a note attached!
*Yami and Kantii take the note off the cheesecake.*
"Dear Yami Yoshi, you and as many friends as you wish are invited to my grand party. Take this cheesecake as an olive branch of our peace. We have much to discuss. Details on back.
Sincerely,
The one you call Dark Cloak."
Kantii: What do you think, Yami?
Yami: Probably a poorly-conceived trap. But at least it'll give us a chance to creme this crappy villain (not to be confused with Crap Villain).
Kantii: We should start informing the others. Do I live here or something?
Yami: After we taste this cheesecake! (turns around and sees Lupus running off with the cheesecake) Dammit!
*Elsewhere GORE is sitting all angsty near a tree in the middle of an African jungle while a storm lashes around him. He remembers...*
*The Year 2001- At Yami Yoshi's House on Yoshi's Island. Yami is taking out the trash when he sees the Flying Monkey parked nearby.*
Yami: (shrug) Probably another of Shane's warships.
*As Yami reenters his house, Dark GORE exits a nearby house and strolls up the ramp into the Flying Monkey. There Golem, Masamune,
Vorpal, Sapphire, Ditto, Luigi of the Pipes, Flutter and Elzie are all bound up on the floor while armed sea monkeys surround them.*
Golem: Was he there?
Dark GORE: Nope.
Golem: Wow, that's weird. Yoshiman's usually in at this hour.
Dark GORE: I know! And I tried ever number in his address book too, no one knew where this guy was!
Sapphire: Um, did you tell them that you were an evil ape who was going to kill him?
Dark GORE: Of course. It won't be the same killing you all without him.
Luigi: I think you're just stalling.
Flutter: Yeah, you don't really wanna kill us!
Dark GORE: What? Yes I do!
Ditto: Prove it.
Elzie: You're no real villain!
Dark GORE: Shut up! You're not a real Party Goer!
Masamune: Off one of us. Prove us to be wrong.
Dark GORE: Oh that's it. Someone kill that guy!
Doctor: (shoots Masa)
Vorpal: That doesn't count. Everyone knows Masa's immortal. Even Bob Saget.
Dark GORE: Well- uh...
*By now each of the Party Goers has broken out of their bonds in some impossible way and begin a high-budget fight scene. Despite
their years of military training, the high amount of Party Goers in the room and the confined space of the room, every one of the sea
monkeys' shots miss. Ditto shifts into Dave Coulier to grapple with Dark GORE while the other Party Goers beat up the
sea monkeys and generally trash the place. Then Golem accidentally knocks over a book shelf. Hidden behind it he sees a giant light
switch- but instead of "ON" and "OFF" it reads "GOOD" and "EVIL". The switch is currently sent to EVIL.*
Golem: What's this?
Dark GORE: NO DON'T TOUCH THA-
*Golem pulls the switch down to GOOD, and a change in Dark GORE happens. His fur lightens, and he becomes the good GORE-ILLA.*
GORE: Hey, what's up? Sorry if I caused you any trouble.
Golem: Hey guys... looks like we've got a new member. Let's celebrate with a party!
Sapphire: No.
*A phonebooth in the middle of the jungle rings, and GORE answers. Yami's on the other line.*
Yami: Yo GORE.
GORE: Oh hey Yami.
Yami: Hey, all fo us OGers are going to a big party in the week?
GORE: Really? Sounds like fun.
Yami: Well it might be a trap, because that retarded Dark Cloak is hosting it.
GORE: ...On second thought, no I can't come. (dashes away)
Yami: Hello? ...GORE? Hellooo?
*One week passes. In Australia Luigiman, Vorpal, Kuria and Sapphire's Soul peek over a ridge overlooking Weisheit Manor itself- the secret capital of TWIFATIT manor.*
Vorpal: Finally... after all that time of planning and searching for the TWIFATIT headquarters... we've found it. This is where we'll find our bodies. Then we just have to find Sapphire's body and Rhyk, who has the souls, and we've got it made!
Luigiman: This won't be easy. Weisheit Manor is one of the most heavily-guarded places in existence.
Sapphire's Soul: Let's just get this over with quickly so I can get out of this stupid OG!
Kuria: ...I think I have a plan.
*FRANCISOwhile, the Authors stand in the White House's Oval Office.*
Dubya: You have proven your powers. (pulls up pants) Now Mr. T, make sure these Authors are put under 24-hour protection. The fate of reality depends on it.
Mr. T: Yes sir, Mr. Fool sir. Don't touch my gold.
*FOOLSwhile Introbulus drives Yami Yoshi, SwordMaster, Fusion, Chizu and Kantii through space in his Volkswagen. All are dressed very formally. Even Fusion wears a bowtie over his gold armor. SwordMaster looks around the car curiously.*
SwordMaster: Hey, where's GORE? He never misses out on an adventure.
Yami: He said he isn't coming. I dunno, he's been acting all weird since that Cheese Star episode. Any news on the other OGers?
Introbulus: Saru's gone off again without telling anyone, and Cerulea's away on a mission.
Fusion: Princess Lila's resistance movement in Japan is winning some victories; I've heard of sightings of Aaron, Lila and Legion, so it seems they're okay.
Chizu: Any news on the Party Goers?
Yami: (shakes head) We haven't heard from them since they went to find their bodies.
SwordMaster: (sweat) The Party Goers?!
Yami: Yeah, we teamed up with some of them a while back. ...Come to think of it, you weren't with us at the time. Too bad. Vorpal and the others made great company.
*The mention of Vorpal's name reminds SwordMaster... of the time when he fought Vorpal's possessed body. He remembers the allure of the mysterious Vorpal Sword he wielded. He remembered his suddening yearning for Vorpal's weapon. He remembered swiping the weapon. Then he remembered how empowering it felt all that power. But then he remembered how the sword's power had driven him over the edge and nearly made him destroy Vorpal's body. SwordMaster didn't want to hold that sword again even if he was paid to. At least part of him did.*
Kantii: There's the place!
*The Volkswagen parks at a space station deep in the V-Sector. They enter it and find it bustling with a variety of chatting lifeforms- none of whom the OGers recognized.*
Yami: Wow, this is a real fancy trap! Wine and everything.
SwordMaster: I don't see anything our of the ordinary... (points up) aside from you know who.
*Shade smashes in through the skylight and is instantly obliterated by half-assed attacks from the OGers. Everyone applaudes. Including Dark Cloak, who makes his way through the crowd. The OGers go into their fighting stances.*
Dark Cloak: Good show, good show!
Yami: You!
Dark Cloak: Yes, me. At last we meet face-to-face. Well not quite. Let me take off this old cloak.
*The Dark Cloak flings off his dark cloak, revealing his true form underneath. The form of... a pink-furred monkey.*
Yami: Dark Cloak?
Dark Cloak: No, no. The name's Velvet Monkey. Nice to meet you.
Yami: This... this is the thing that possessed Mirawk?
Introbulus: I hate to say so but it is. I'd've told you he was a monkey but I didn't think it was that important. Being an Author 3 characer, it was kind of predictable.
Chizu: Why's he acting so friendly?
Velvet Monkey: I've turned over a new leaf! Once I thought I could get away with anything. That was before the space fusion. Now most of my power is drained. Staying on the run from my former minions has given me time to think, and I see you're right all along.
SwordMaster: (puts his sword to Velvet Monkey's throat) Just one question. Why did you possess Bat-Ear Mirawk's dead body?
Velvet Monkey: Why not? He wasn't using it. It's like how you humans eat dead animals. It's all the same.
Kantii: We eat to survive. What you do is sick and without honor!
Velvet Monkey: From your point of view. But let's face it. Without my powers, I need help. And I think you'll need me.
Introbulus: Why so?
Velvet Monkey: Ah, Introbulus! Long time no see! (points to the ugly scar on his chest) I still have a memento of our last meeting!
Introbulus: Get to the point. What do you know that we don't?
Velvet Monkey: Nijuka. He's after the Seventh Wonder of the OGing World. With me drained, he's the most powerful person alive. Only I know where he is right now, where he's heading, what he's seeking and all his weaknesses.
Yami: One more exposition-inducing question: what is the Seventh Wonder of the OGing World?
Introbulus: The Writer's Chair. Anyone who sits in it can recreate all of existence however they want. It's almost like S-Space. But wheras S-Space is a combination of everyone's imaginations, the Writer's Chair is only one person's. It has no limitations like the other Wonders. In the wrong hands, the results can be catastrophic. It's location is classified, and it is protected by a seal that can only be broken by gathering a set of magical stones.
Yami: Three, four or seven?
Velvet Monkey: Four. I two already, and Nijuka has one. The last one's location is unknown except that it's somewhere on... Earth. I found out about it first during my... less merciful days and began controlling your Earth people, slowly making my way to rule the planet so that I can use all the Earthlings like a giant mining company to find the last stone. Akujin found out and sent his own scouts to Earth with the same goal, but he ultimately chose a much cruder path by blowing the planet up so he could search what was left of it. Neither of us suceeded. Now Nijuka seems to have a lead. I know where his Earth base is, and I need you to help me stop him without my powers. What do you say?
*The OGers huddle. SwordMaster's hand is sticking out of the huddle and still holding his sword near Velvet Monkey's throat.*
Kantii: What do you think, Intro? You faced him before.
Introbulus: Yes, he was a threat. He was young at the time and had little control over his emotions or his powers. He seems to have changed since then. I'm not sure how, but he's different. I'm not sure if he's turned good or gotten worse. I'm afraid this is your call, Yami.
Yami: Hm... even if he's not completely good, maybe we can help him change! GORE's always talking about how villains make miraculous epiphanies like Dark GORE and Beezlebub.
SwordMaster: No way, man! Did you look into that guy's eyes? He's pure evil! He used a dead man as a puppet! He's a sick freak!
Fusion: He may have changed. We can't judge a book by its cover.
Chizu: Sorry SwordMaster, but he seems much nicer now. I think we can trust him.
SwordMaster: Oh, not you too!
Yami: C'mon, what's the worst the monkey can do? He's lost his powers. And he's PINK.
SwordMaster: He didn't say how much except that he couldn't beat Nijuka. For all we know, he can still whip us all!
Yami: Then it would be dangerous to refuse him. Let's just go along with him and see what happens.
*The OGers turn to face the Velvet Monkey.*
Yami: Mr. Monkey, we've decided to agree on your offer. (glares at SwordMaster, who reluctantly lowers his sword)
Velvet Monkey: Excellent! By the way, where is your cyborg gorilla friend?
Yami: I'm sorry, Mr. ILLA has politely declined your invitation. Don't know where the hell he is now.
Velvet Monkey: Too bad. I'd have loved to meet him again.. but enough chatter! We should head off immediately. We can party later.
*Velvet Monkey and the OGers all enter the Volkswagen.*
Velvet Monkey: You know, Introbulus, I feel bad about our run-in all those years ago, and I feel like making it up to you. Do you want Jim back?
*The Volkswagen takes off from the space station and heads off towards Earth... and a new adventure.*
Author: Murasame
~Elsewhere, on the Omnipotence~
Krunk: COMMODORE.
Murasame: Yeah?
Snipes: We have compiled the information you requessssted on thossse OGers.
Murasame: Give me that. *skims the folder* A eccentric crew at the very least. A bunch of partiers, eh?
Snipes: On the contrary, thesssse are nothing like the Party Goerssss.
Murasame: Odd that I never had a run in with them. What about Masamune?
Krunk: HE HAD A FEW RUN-INS...
Snipes: They ssssstole his ssssoul.
Murasame: Decent of them, but a little unrealistic. How?
Snipes: By not asssking permission?
Murasame: I want to keep an eye on these people. They could be useful. Even if they are sucky at parties. That stupid yoshi can't dance.
Snipes: Shall I call up my coussssins?
Murasame: No. Just no. Just... get me a sammich or something.
Author: Fred
(Austrailia, at 1200h…)
Vorpal: Sapphire will scout the house out, and Predict wll read your mind, then plot it out?
Kuria: That’s the plan.
Predict: Uhm, I’m afraid that would be ineffective. I cannot read the “minds” of spirits. They have no minds, hardly a memory, no brain. It’s like looking at cat food to find what’s in it, and not having a label. There’s nothing I can do.
Luigiman: Oh, for the love of…
Vorpal: Hey, we’ve come this far without too many troubles, let’s do what we always do: Break in, kill everyone mercilessly, and then get our bodies.
Predict: Except Lupus isn’t that stupid. I can see guards with torches to our bodies, spirit-detecting coconut-hidden devices, and Guard formations even we would not be able to deal with.
Wrange Tirk: Quiet, ye. I like Vorpal’s plot, I do.
Kuria: New plan, I must have been overcomplicating this. Sapphire, you’re still useless. Okay, Predict, where are the bodies?
Predict: Phychic suppressor with the unnecessary beatles music playing and minty flavouring! Gasp… need… relief! Move me away! Though I do like this song…
(Luigiman pulls him to the side, where he breathes easier)
Kuria: Fine, I have ANOTHER plan. This is Austrailia, right? All we need is one frog, and… wait, I’m not up for destroying the environment. Uh, distraction? No… we destroy all the building’s supports… yeah…
Luigiman: Screw it, I have a new plan. We dig UNDER.
Vorpal: How are we going to do that?
Luigiman: Thanks for volunteering, Vorpal!
Vorpal: Figures.
Predict: The bodies are at the western side of the lowest floor.
Wrange Tirk: Which way be West?
(Wind whistles)
Luigiman: We’re all competent adults, we can figure this one out. It’ll just… take a while.
(1500h…)
Vorpal: I’m getting kinda tired.
Luigiman: You’ve only been digging for two hours. You’ll be tired when I say you’re tired!
Lupus: What are you guys doing?
Vorpal: What? Didn’t we agree to dig into this house?
Lupus: I guess you did. You’re ruining the flowers.
Kuria: What flowers?
Lupus: The grass, of course.
Luigiman: Well, that’s too- (turns around) Oh bajeezus.
Lupus: Read the parchment, Fred.
Fred: Article 23340C of the Lupusian Amendment: All Party Goers are to be controlled mercilessly by Lupus, or delifed.
Lupus: Read it again, loudly, I don’t think they heard it, as they are naughty children. And you know what we do to naughty children.
Lithium Debater: Steal candy from them?
Lupus: Yes. And then Hogtie them over a steaming pot of lava that they’re not supposed to escape from but do.
Luigiman: Oh, so your one of THOSE types of villains.
Lupus: However, because that’s all a given, we can charge them of the crime of escaping being hogtied of a steaming pot of lava by Lupus’s orders that they’re not supposed to escape from but do, and put them to gruesome death. Ridiculously fashionable cookie-cutter SS style troops, get them!
(about eighty three point six guards jump into the hole and beat up the Party Goers with stereotyped laser weapons and karate chop action. However, Luigiman knocks them all out of the cave with charged blast of force, and Vorpal jumps out, ready to slaughter them all.)
Lupus: Impressive. However, if you do not meet my demands… The girl in the hole gets shot.
Predict: ugh, which one?
Lupus: The ghost-like one. Unfortunately, my guy who shoots people, Lithium Debater, is specifically trained to miss on my command and hit the other one.
Vorpal: And you’ve given him such a command?
Lupus: I really haven’t decided yet. Don’t rush me.
Lithium Debater: Rush makes okay music.
Fred: Ne parle pas maintenant, sauve en francais!
Lithium Debater : Oop, J’ai oublié!
Lupus : Now, there are some overused sadistic things on my list to do to you folk. First, I could put you in a giant maze and watch you squirm against my robots, but I didn’t have the time to call a proffesional, and the landscape wasn’t right for it… Torcher, send you to the cave of a million perils, No, I like number one hundred-fifty one down on the list.
Vorpal: Which one’s that?
(Lupus kicks Vorpal in the shins)
Lupus: That one!
Vorpal: This is really embarassing.
Lupus: I know! That’s why… I’ll make you listen to my MIDI tracks! Trax!
(Harman March plays)
Vorpal: Augh! Hey, this is actually pretty good!
Lupus: Do you really like it?
Luigiman: Yes!
Lupus: TALKING OUT OF PLACE TO A SUPERIOR! That’s twelve points from Griffindor!
Luigiman: What?
Lupus: I have an idea. I don’t think I want a soul in that body anymore. TAKE IT OUT!
(A nameless soldier zaps him with a laser in a very trendy way, and Wrange Tirk/Predict dissapear)
Lupus: Now, Take him to the bridge. I mean downstairs.
Fred: Oui oui, mon capitaine.
Lupus : No, you can stay and help me deal with the person who invariably shows up to save the day.
Lithium Debater: Qui est ca, mon maitre?
Lupus : I expect Masamune or whoever, but as long as this stone is in my possession, it could be Ringo Starr himself coming to save the day.
(elsewhere)
Ringo Starr: No way, baby, I can’t do it without the rest of the gang, I just can’t!
(Back with Lupus)
Lupus: Now, let’s take these people inside, which is still technically outside, so I can take my turn and I don’t forget how much money was in the bank so as to not tell how much Author 2 no doubt stole. MARCH. BREAK.
(In the deep reaches of space, the dark creature heading for YY at the beginning of MOG8 appears, still furious for the injustices against him. Unfortunately, he catches a special brand of space leprosy and dies in a horrible fashion. About thirty-eight thousand miles from his position, Nijuka floats in the atmosphere of a planet. The Wooden planet Deltinion.)
Nijuka: I don’t like it, there’s no finish. Time to obliterate it, Eehehe! (Nijuka creates a tiny line of energy that pierces the CORE of the planet, causing it to set aflame. Corpses pile upon ash, as the fires obliterate it in less than two minutes) there. Unfortunately, I can’t be everywhere at once, or this universe would be livable! Or unlivable, whatever comes first! BWEEHEHEEHE!
(A purple creature with a jetpak rams Nijuka, knocking him a few inches away. He wields an odd weapon: four attachable bone-rods, that slide on and off of each other. He dettaches it into two, and has each of the lower rods sticking out behind the upper ones, creating a sort-of baton. He flies back at Nijuka, spinning them around violently, but not hitting the horrible creature. Nijuka’s hands grasp his head as a power surges into him, completely erasing his mind and replacing it with loyalty)
Nijuka: Not bad, you’ll make a decent assasin for the assault on the Milky Way! Bwhaaha! Now, to take you, stick you with other would-be heroes, and blow up any resistance this puny R-Space has to offer! Or make them slaves, or soldiers, or whatever I feel like! AHAHAH! Oh yes, naming you… How about... Demolisher? No, too many of those already… I like Fluffy. You are now Fluffy Bollocks.
(MOLD-While, on Nijuka’s armada’s main ship, “Recreator”, a Giant Inside-Out Teddy bear with a napolean-style hat stands at the front of the ship. He’d like nothing more than to destroy the one who thought him up, a young twisted boy named Vlad Notavampire. He’d finally get that chance, and all he had to do was destroy Mystery. He smiled his hideous smile and then remembered that smiling was the one movement his body couldn’t take and it ripped a little. He quickly re-stiched it, ready for his quest of domination.)
Yddet: My time has finally come.
(MISS-While as well, GORE is sitting in his house, weighing his limited options. Remembering what The Monkey had told him, he determined that killing Dark Cloak was no longer first on his list to do. What was first was figuring out if YY and the others were alright and have angsty inner-monolouging. Unfortunately, with the Human Forces still resorting themselves, not all had been convinced that the fact that people didn’t have money and lambourghinis was not the OGers’ fault, as Lupus had told them. There were going to be problems. Finally, GORE decided to grab PL-0tt and head out, not realising that a familiar, speckled face and his squad were following him, this time with a new weapon suitable for ending him.)
Author: Golem
~Behind GORE, Team Monkey is running after GORE while under cover of plant life. In one of Pinchy's claws is a robotic arm.~
Moussie: ~whisper~ What are you waitin' for, mon?
EVIL Scientist Dude: ~whisper~ Quiet, we need a large open space to make sure we have the advantage.
~Soon, GORE clears the trees and comes to a wide open area.~
ESD: Pinchy, throw MON-KILL's right arm now!
~Pinchy throws the arm forward, and jets on its wrist activate. It clears the trees and punches GORE in the back from behind before transforming into the shape of Gamechamp, to scale and everything. Gamechamp stands on GORE, who presses his arms against the ground, throwing Gamechamp off.~
GORE: Gamechamp, what do you want now?!
~Gamechamp is silent. His arm instantly has its aim on GORE and shoots a buster shot. GORE rolls his eyes as PL-0TT rushes in front of GORE and deflects the shot. PL-0TT then morphs around GORE's body, creating an armor for him. Jets flare up from the armor's feet, and GORE jets forward with his fists in front of him.~
GORE: I don't have time for this, Gamechamp...!
~Gamechamp dodges. GORE continues into the trees, where he lets his arm down and picks up Diskun.~
GORE: Figures. Gamechamp was more talkative.
~GORE drops Diskun and circles back to meet Gamechamp. By this time, Gamechamp has activated his own jet feet and flown up to meet GORE. They meet in the air and stop each other with their momentum, then wrangle. As Gamechamp throws a punch, GORE deactivates his jets for a second. While Gamechamp misses his punch, GORE reactivates his jets and flies upward , giving a five-light punch to Gamechamp's head at a hilariously high speed. Gamechamp's head wobbles a bit, but is otherwise fine.~
GORE: Pretty good for a knockoff, EVIL Scientist!
ESD: He's not a knockoff! He's the same Gamechamp we all know and hate, only with his entire memory erased, and with my own personal touches!
~Of course, GORE doesn't hear this over the jets and the fighting.
Elsewhere, the Volkswagen is heading for Earth. Introbulus drives, Velvet Monkey is in the passenger seat, and everyine else is in the back row of seating or in the trunk space.~
Chizu: We could ask Syphnity where the other stone is.
Introbulus: Who?
Yami: A Magic 8-Ball in the shape of a topaz that Chizu keeps.
Chizu: I keep? One of you guys took it.
~Silence.~
Chizu: So no one here has it?
~Silence.~
Velvet Monkey: Our course is set for Australia, where Lupus is known to live, because, as you know, his involvement in these types of situations is typical.
SwordMaster: Right, it only stands to reason he'd have the stone.
~Silence.~
Yami Yoshi: ...Anyone up for "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"?
~Soon, the Volkswagen enters Earth's atmosphere. A few moments inside the atmosphere, a bone-rod zooms in from nowhere and slashes open the two back tires. The Volkswagen is unaffected otherwise.~
Introbulus: Someone go out there and beat up the guy who's on our tail, NOW!
Chizu: We'd burn up in the atmosphere!! ...Wait, what guy on our tail?!
~Velvet Monkey starts to open the door beside him, but is too late. Another bone-rod slashes the front tires, and the Volkswagen starts tumbling over itself in mid-air as it falls towards the Earth.~
Introbulus: I think it's pretty obvious we're gonna have to bail! The Iron Gauntlet shards can't handle it!
~Velvet Monkey holds his hand to the door and a pink aura is cast over the car for a few seconds. It soon stabilizes in the air and makes a safe descent. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.~
SwordMaster: ~looking out the back window~ He's gone.
Chizu: ~also looking out the back window~ You saw him leave?
SwordMaster: Well, I didn't see him at all.
Author: Yami Yoshi
Meanwhile at Weisheit Manor…
Lupus: Ah, this is the life. The life of a multi-billionaire.
~Suddenly, Koopa Xtreme appears.~
Koopa Xtreme: Sir, one of your stones has been stolen.
Lupus: Which one?
Koopa Xtreme: The largest one.
Lupus: Oh no! My 20 million dollar stone is gone! And it's the one that resembles Weisheit’s left kidney the most, too! Only one person could've done this, and that's…
Meanwhile in space…
~Saru and Cerulea use their elemental powers to rocket themselves through the black and endless void.~
Cerulea: Ah…just like old times…
Saru: Except we’re following orders from a pink monkey midget instead of opposing him…
Cerulea: ~sighs~ You still don’t trust him, do you?
Saru: Hmph, I don’t care if he says he’s turned over a new leaf…if he puts a single toe out of line, I’ll kill him!
Cerulea: ~rolls eyes~ Whatever…there isn’t much he can do now that he’s powerless. Our primary concern is his former left hand man, Nijuka.
Saru: “Concern”? More like waste of time! Every time I faced him, he would scurry back into S-Space screaming like a schoolgirl!
Cerulea: Let’s not underestimate him. I heard he completely obliterated a planet in the Larso System.
Saru: Was it Deltinion? Hah! Anyone could’ve destroyed that termite mound!
Cerulea: ~ignoring Saru~ We will be entering the Larso System in a few minutes. Let’s tread lightly…
Saru: Hah! Why should we tread lightly through a cakewalk?
Author: Fred
(Whoa whoa whoa. Freeze frame. You mean Kristine dumped me? I mean... Saru and Cerulea are going to fight NIJUKA? Whoa. Well then, I guess it doesn't matter. They head towards Larso system, and watch in horror as planets dissapear around them)
Saru: What the-
(Nijuka stretches his body out like a huge saw and energizes it, cutting three planets that are nearby each other into a giant triangle, like the Triforce. He then attaches them with a gravity-controlled field, and kicks one of them, sending them spinning towards Saru and Cerulea. Saru grabs Cerulea and throws her while holding on to get out of the planets' way, as they sail off into a star and disintigrate. Saru and Cerulea breathe a sigh of relief, which doesn't last long, as Nijuka creates a humoungous apple-skinner out of energy and peels a planet to the core, releasing a huge explosion. Saru and Cerulea begin to seriously doubt the sanity of coming to this system)
Nijuka: How do you like my exterior decorating ideas? Bweehee huffwa! Now, how would you two like to be eviscarated?
Cerulea: Well, I always thought it'd be nice if some started with my knees, and-
Saru: Can it! Nijuka, you're going to pay for your crimes with a trial by fire! (Saru creates a meteor swarm, but Nijuka's eyes on it's hands glow bright purple, and fire out a huge wad of energized spaghetti, which engulfs the meteors like meatballs, and Pins Saru against a planet soaked in red blood. Cerulea creates a enormous mass of water, and engulfs Nijuka. She forces inside his mouth, and to make his body explode. His arms fly off first, and after he is torn into pieces, he quickly reforms to his hands, smiling a little too freakishly)
Nijuka: Ah, I can see that you two will disappoint me and not scream. No matter, I can have my fun with you for longer. Yddet and Ritz are already moving towards Alpha Centuri, they can deal with your stupid planets. You've got a pretty body, I'll enjoy playing with you, mortal.
Cerulea: No wonder we hate you. Alright, Prepare...
Saru: No, instead prepare for THIS!(Saru jets towards Nijuka, and punches it in the body. Nijuka laughs his shrill laugh)
Nijuka: Is that honestly all you have? I mean, a punch, whoOoOOoo! I'm so very frightened that you can move me a little.
Saru: Tell me, does it feel (smiles) a little WARMER over there?
Nijuka: Oh, bloody void.
(Saru raises his fist as he forces a sun to explode behind Nijuka. Nijuka is drawn in by the intense gravity as Saru and Cerulea fight to stay away from it. After all is said and done, Nijuka is not dead, but indeed very mutilated. it's hands seethe with the flames as he yells in agony, and it no longer smiles. Instead, it grits it's teeth as it's eyes glow a reasonably unhealthy red, and it's body splits into millions of sharp, daggerlike objects. Unable to defend, Saru and Cerulea cover their faces until two huge blasts hit the barrage of daggers, and drive it into a nearby planet's boneyard of dead dragons. Their savior turns out to be Akujin, who's arms are huge dog-like faces.)
Saru: You! I thought you were quite dead! I mean, on a level that deadness does not even exist on!
Akujin: It appears you thought wrong. I too have The Turk to thank for this. I'd settle our score, but there's a bigger fish down here, that I have much unfinished buisness with. Save your damned planet, I want it spic and span for when I control the universe.
(Saru and Cerulea chase after Nijuka's fleet. Akujin lands beside Nijuka)
Nijuka: haHA, You! You don't know what you're getting into!
Akujin: No, I really don't. But I am definetely not dealing with your shit later. Man, when we substantiated in S-Space, all you'd ask me was "What time is it?", and "Where's the next victim", or "If I bite people in this spot, do they explode?". I never liked you.
Nijuka: What a coincidence! I like ripping people apart and absorbing their precious life energies!
(MESA JAR-JAR BINKS-while, In Lupus's house (Not Wimzie's house))
Lupus: The only one who could have done this is... AUTHOR TWO!
Author Two: You may want to try that again. LUPUS LIVES: x2
Lupus: Then... YAMI YOSHI!
Koopa Xtreme: I guess, if you're going for that...
Lithium: I know, it's David! I WIN!
Fred: So YOW! POP goes perfection!
Lupus: I need better minions. Anyways, Scooby, you go check the fridge. Easily replacable character and person that seems like they're the one who commited the crime so can't be, come with me.
Lithium: Are you feeling alright, sir?
Lupus: NO NO NO! Didn't you hear Koopa? The stone is gone. Let's try this one last time. The only person who could have done this is... RANDOM MEEK MINION IN RED TIGHT SUIT AND FASK MASK #2.23545546*10^23i! In other words... Black Robot!
Fred: What the canopy godfather puppet governments?
Lupus: Alright you little minority, give it back!
Black: Let's get him boys, we'll get him for what he did to Red! (The rest of the robot team reveals itself) roll call!
Green: I am green! I'm the mechanic expert, and I do good with using the weapons I make, too!!
Yellow: I am Yellow! I like to use my fists to do the talking!
Black: I am black! I can sneak on anyone from the dark and attack with my double swords! I'm unfortunately filling in and-
Blue: I am Blue!
Black: Yeah, alright, go ahead.
Blue: I will. If you want me to operate a truck, tank, spaceship, anything, I can gaurantee that I'll use that and make use of the firepower, as long as it has firepower!
Black: (gamechamp imitation) And I am Red! The leader of the Robot Team! I have every power in the universe! Just call me Gamechamp!
Lupus: I didn't do anything except sign papers! You're attempting to eliminate the middleman, and you completely are ignoring the "Do not make attempts on Master Lupus's life" signs!
Yellow: Well, we're sorry...
Blue: Wait, there are none of- (Lithium blasts his head off)
Green: Then take thi- (Arms and mounts huge rocket launching device, but is blasted by cheeseray)
Yellow: You monsters! (Yellow swings at Lupus, who moves backwards, and Koopa knocks off his head.)
Black: This can't be the end of robot team! YAH! (Black flips towards Lupus and Fred knocks him into the couch. Lithium blasts him in the face too.)
Lupus: Jeez, You'd think they'd wait until we were done the game to attack us. Rude. (Suddenly, the pieces fly off the table as the wall explodes. YY and the crew burst in.)
Lupus: Very rude.
Koopa: Sssso we meet again. Unfortunately, this time, you fight us on our terms. SURROUND THEM!
Introbulus: What about the Cheese Star?
Fred: DOESN'T COUNT. Lithium, Plan delta Cartegian B2 Bomber Plane.
Lithium: Aight' DAWG. (Lithium presses a button, and out of the shotguns comes a large boot that hits Yami in the face)
Koopa: This is great, do it again.
Lupus: Stop giving the orders! Read my christmas present I gave you!
Koopa: Don't you mean... the "Fixing Ski Lifts for Dummies book" given to me by Santa?
Lupus: Sure.
Author 2: Are we playing, or not?
Kantii: A new member of the TWIF-ATIT crew?
Introbulus: Here goes... (Introbulus squeezes the shards of the Glove and raises the guns of the guards. They are then beaten by Kung-fu moves from OGers in the standard fashion)
Chizu: Hah! You thought that could- (Chizu looks around and sees that the manor has sunk into the ground and an electrical shield has erected around where the wall just stood)
Yami Yoshi: And we've got company.
(A previously mentioned Purple being descends with various suit-wearing creatures, along with incorporal beings, and a few gigantic cutthroat space criminals)
Fuzzy Bollocks: First Iris expeditionary force, attack!
Author: Yami Yoshi
Meanwhile in the Larso System…
Akujin: Shut up. I’m going to kill you.
~Nijuka’s mouth forms into a devilish grin before letting out a high-pitched cackle.~
Nijuka: Kee hee hee hee hee! Me? YOU think you can kill ME? The one who stole our master’s powers and transformed him into a cute little pink monkey?
Akujin: What?!
Nijuka: Kee hee hee! You are such a dummy!
~Nijuka opens his mouth shoots out a red boxing glove attached to his tongue. The boxing glove decapitates Akujin, and his headless, lifeless body collapses to the ground. Nijuka transforms his feet into steel sporks, and steps onto Akujin’s corpse.~
Nijuka: ~hopping up and down~ Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes
~Saru and Cerulea touch down on Alpha Centari and look into the sky.~
Cerulea: Um. They're not going to be here for another three hours. I told you we had time to stop at that ice cream parlor.
Saru: ~moves hands like mouths~ Mee mee mee mee...
Cerulea: Wouldn't it make more sense to attack their fleet while they're in space? I mean, they could just blow the planet up from there.
Saru: That's obviously a boarding party.
Cerulea: "Planet explodes."
Saru: You're not a Narrator, shut up.
~Three hours later~
Saru/Cerulea: ~makes out with Cerulea/Saru on the grass~
~Nijuka's fleet lands nearby. Ritz, a guy in a sequined white jacket with a white top hat and cane waltzes out of the flagship with a video camera even though it's twenty years outdated.~
Ritz: Sah, this'll make some good money in the right hands.
Saru: Dammit!
Cerulea: ~readjusts bra strap~ Ahem.
Saru: If we kill them quick, we can get that video tape and I can put in my secret stash I mean trash can.
~Saru lights his fists on fire and runs at Ritz, who moonwalks out of the way.~
Ritz: Ah hee hee!
~Cerulea darks her fists on water and runs at Ritz, who tapdances forward...~
Ritz: Give my regards to--
~...right into Saru's fists.~
Ritz: AUGH! ~is thrown into the ground on fire~
~The grass instantly catches fire. Within a minute, the entire planet is on fire.~
Cerulea: Methinks the grass is highly combustible here. ~summons a planetary flood~
Ritz: My coat! This cost me three million berries! And I didn't pay the extra Fiddy Cent like the rapper for the guarantee, dammit!
Saru: Quit your bitching.
~Saru fires a Fire Ray at Ritz, but Ritz throws a disco ball at him. Said disco ball reflects the fire in all directions, so Ritz gets burned anyway, but not nearly as much. The grass also starts on fire again, and Cerulea is distracted with putting it out again.~
Saru: That's all you could do?
Ritz: That's not all this disco ball can do, though! ~picks up the disco ball and presses random spots. It transforms into a giant disco bear~
Saru: Freakin' S-Space...
~The disco bear runs forward and mauls Saru, despite his counterattacks. Cerulea turns to fight it, but is equally mauled.
~Of course, this entire time Yddet has been leading his invasion army out of the other entrance to their shuttle and taken the liberty of blowing up all of the spaceports.~
Yddet: Begun, the Cloak Wars has. Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Author: Fred
(Saru, angry at being bitten by an animal that flashes multiple colours, attempts to melt the bear. Unfortunately, it glows brighter)
Ritz: Oh yeah, cats, it's heat-powered, 'case I'm soooo cool that's I'm HOT!
Cerulea: That makes absoloutely no sense. (Cerulea kicks him square in the jaw (Almost spelt "jew") and then fires a stream of water at the bear, shorting it's circuits out and changing it into a french window. Ritz opens his jacket, and reveals a full chest of hair. Both Saru and Cerulea look on in disgust)
Saru: Wasn't that more the sixties? People who live in the past need to be put in GRAVEYARDS! (Saru clubs him with the Disco window, and his hair shoots out, grabbing Saru and crushing him. Saru burns it away, to find he's inexplicably boarded a hover-bike that has come from nowhere) Thiiisss CAN'T be good.
(The bike runs into Saru and Cerulea tries to force it to hydro-plane. Unfortunately for her, a 20x20 foot square around Ritz has transformed into a over-waxed hardwood floor, and she slips. Suddenly, "Thriller" starts to play, and the hoverbike becomes a mustang, while Ritz puts on sunglasses and pulls out a machine that fires records)
Ritz: You squares are out.
(MISERY-while, Fuzzy and his troop fire at YY's crew while automated Lupus cannons mimic them from the other side. Swordmaster's been hit, and YY's egg shield isn't holding. Kantii and Chizu are outside it, desperately attempting to fend off their foe, but a few tricky switches and spins allows him to give them each a smack on the head that knocks them out.)
YY: We're pretty screwed. There's only one thing I can think of that would save us in this situation.
Fusion: I wish you would take down the shield so I could blast them.
The Velvet Monkey: I wish I wasn't pink.
SwordMaster: I wish you guys would think up a solution, instead of complain.
YY: But, they obviously won't. We need... THE MAN!
SwordMaster: That's the oldest cameo in the history of MOG.
YY: So?
SwordMaster: All right, whatever. THE MAN!
YY: I just thought of why this is a bad plan. Okay, Fusion, actually do something useful.
Fusion: This is in total desperation, so...
Velvet Monkey: No, not tha-
(Fusion fuses the contents of the egg shield into the ground. The guns stop firing as nobody understands what happened. Shortly after, Lupus's cannons beat back most of the first Iris force, and they retreat to the hills. But deep underneath, Lupus runs into problems...)
Lupus: So, now that I've beaten them back with my uselessly manually controlled cannons, what do you wanna do?
Koopa: THROW A PARTY-
Lupus: You know very well that's not allowed.
(Suddenly, the door explodes, and Vorpal rushes in, backed up by Kuria)
Vorpal: Where are the bodies and souls? ANSWER ME, NOW! Or soon.
Koopa: How soon?
Vorpal: I don't know, soon!
Lupus: Well, if you don't have it thought out, you should at least do that and THEN come back here.
Vorpal: Well, alright, bu- WAAAAIT A MINUTE.
Introbulus: You were a little slow in closing down, Lupus. I got in too.
Lupus: Fred, you're ugly, protect me! Lithium, you look nearly as good as me, almost to the point where you could be better than me, PROTECT ME! Koopa, I'm not even going to comment. I'm going to the kitchen to get some lunch. Clean these guys up and then you can make your own sandwiches and pay me to do it.
Lithium: Awesome.
Black: This... cannot be the end! (Stabs Lupus's pants to the ground, trapping him until he tugs a little and rips it and keeps moving)
Lupus: I thought I told you to clean up after yourselves!
(MIAK-while, with GORE)
GORE: Fight it, Gamechamp! You're not evil and all that jazz. I don't feel like making a winded speech when you won't even respond.
ESD: THAT IS WHY YOU FAIL (If you don't really try!)
(Gamechamp's arms turn into buzzsaws. GORE stops them with his metal arm. Then, they turn into extending poles. GORE smashes them in two. Gamechamp cleans up his busted limbs and makes them into a high-pitched frequecy-emitting device and a wrecking ball (Wrecking crew). He swings and then released the other device's horrifying effects: It completely disables GORE's mechanical eye, and his hearing. GORE's loss of sight forces him to be hit by the wrecking ball, and he topples over. The arms turn into a flame-thrower and a cold-thrower. He first freezes the metal arm and then melts the ice, rusting it quickly. GORE rolls backwards, but tips over due to his stuck, heavy arm. He feels a vicegrip around his neck, as Gamechamp lifts him, slowly. Fortunately, PL-OTT, unaffected by the waves, jams a tazer into Gamechamp, and short-circuits him, forcing him to the ground. Unfortunately, Team Monkey takes advantage of the injured GORE by having Mousse kick him in the face.)
ESD: Lights out! Bwahahaha!
Author: Golem
~MAN-THIS-MIGHT-BE-GETTING-OLD-while, the Omnipotence flies over the Pacific Ocean. In its kitchen is Snipes. He pulls at the fridge handle, which comes off. Soon a hand flies at Snipes from behind him, and its wrist crushes Snipes up against the fridge handle, or what now seems to be an arm. Snipes rips the arm off before being hit by the fridge door, and out hops an incorporal minus his right arm and hand.~
Incorporal: Never put yourself in a fridge and close the door, kids.
~Snipes lets out a yell, and the incorporal proceeds to knock Snipes out with a frozen steak. The Kremlings eating in the galley hear Snipes' yell and get up to see what the trouble is. The incorporal rushes out of the kitchen and through a hall. From there he swings his fist onto the front of the ship, knocking Krunk out from behind.
When the rest of his body reaches the front of the ship, Murasame has his sword prepared, and takes a swipe at the incorporal's torso. The incorporal simply detaches his torso and moves it in tune with the swing while detaching his hands and having them hit pressure points near Murasame's shoulders, making him pass out.
Just as Kremlings are about to reach the front of the ship, the Incorporal quickly closes the door behind him. Up ahead, Australia is not far off. The incorporal squints his eyes and studies the island, spots what he thinks is Lupus' castle, and sends his hand forth. The Kremlings bust down the door, but it's too late--the incorporal picks up the unconscious Murasame and zooms after his detached hand.
Soon, he arrives outside the front door of Lupus' castle. He looks under the doormat, picks up a key, and uses it in the door. He then opens the door and drops Murasame just inside, setting off a trap door sending him many floors below, while the incorporal jumps over the trap door and falls in a trap door just past the first one.
With Introbulus, Vorpal, and Kuria...~
Fred: Three on two?! NYAT FAIR!
Koopa: But there's--
~The incorporal lands just in front of Vorpal. He stumbles back, losing his balance from the surprise of someone landing from nowhere in front of him. Kuria and Introbulus leap back from the incorporal, and Fred takes this chance to wack Koopa--who has retreated into his shell--with his hammer. Koopa flies to Kuria, who gets knocked against the wall, and moves on to Introbulus, who has enough time to duck under the strike.
Vorpal has gotten back up and found the incorporal to be impossible to hit. The incorporal dodges a swipe from Vorpal's sword, then attempts the pressure point move--which is ineffective against Vorpal's cool-looking shoulder coverings. When the incorporal strikes his hands near Vorpal's shoulders, Vorpal (his arms still swinging his sword) headbutts the incorporal, who falls back. Lithium rushes towards Vorpal from behind.
Introbulus has been having trouble landing a single strike on Koopa, who keeps hiding in his shell. When Introbulus sees Lithium going towards Vorpal, Introblus coaxes Koopa into his shell and picks him up, then tosses him at Lithium like a frisbee. Lithium catches this out of the corner of his eye and tries to duck, but instead gets his back hit by Koopa. Koopa, who had realized he had been thrown, had stuck his feet out in time to kick off of Lithium and back towards Introbulus.
Kuria has been fighting Fred. The incorporal's hand punches Kuria from behind, and she loses her balance temporarily, allowing for Fred to knock her unconscious with his fist. Because you know how messy doing that with a mallet would be. Ugh.
Vorpal turns to Koopa and Lithium and starts taking them on. The incorporal tries to use his limbs to distract Vorpal, but Introbulus runs in and snatches the incorporal's head, then turns it so that it only sees the ceiling.
In the meantime, Murasame lands on a big pile of pillows in the kitchen beside Lupus himself.~
Lupus: Oh hey Murasame. When I heard about you in MOG9, I just had to hear what was up.
~Murasame jumps up and clutches his sword.~
Murasame: What's going on?!
Lupus: Follow along, and you'll become a high-ranking minion and NOT be destroyed when I take over the world. Don't follow along, and you'll be used in freakish science experiments.
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes
~DOTHEMARIO-while, Kantii and Chizu awaken from their bopping on the heads some hours later. The first Iris force and Lupus's manually controlled cannons randomly chase each other around in the background.~
Chizu: I can't believe the others just ditched us.
Kantii: I can. This ground sure is squishy. ~pushes~
Groundmi Yoshi: Ow.
Floorsion: This was the best idea ever.
Groundmi Yoshi: I hate you.
Kantii: What the hell?
DirtMaster: I like where you're sitting, Chizu. Don't move.
Chizu: . . .
Groundmi Yoshi: This idiot fused us to the ground.
Floorsion: Yeah? It got those cannons away from us. And I can just un... oh.
Velvet Rocky: You people gave me trouble?
Chizu: What should we do?
Floorsion: Well...
Kantii: Scratch that. Let's just go beat up Lupus, get the stone, and worry about them later.
Chizu: Sounds good.
Groundmi Yoshi: Oh no you don't!
~Kantii and Chizu leave.~
DirtMaster: Look at that. I'm growing grass.
Groundmi Yoshi: . . .
~Of course, who else should approach now but LUPUS'S GARDENER?!~
Gardener: Woot's this? Master Lupus be smearing his victims on the groond again? Oh well, I've goot some acids that'll clear this right up.
Groundmi Yoshi: Shatmuck.
Author: Gamechamp
*MEANWHILE-HA-I-ENDED-THIS-STUPID-MEANWHILE-THING-OR-DID-I?-while!*
Some old insane guy sits in a chair wearing a top hat, yes a CHAIR wearing a top hat, decided to explain stuff on his great children's show, Mr. Insane Man's Neighborhood.
Old Insane Guy: Well, hello there! I'm going to explain stuff. Now, you must all be wondering stuff about a few plot holes involving this Gamechamp guy. Firstly, you'd think he should have gone boom on Krad. Well, he didn't, because he's made a few appearances, and is now in this OG. Well, nobody really knows how he escaped Krad. But using my incredible puzzle-solving skills, I've discovered exactly what probably happened...
*A couple OGs earlier...*
Gamechamp: Oh, no, Krad's gonna kersplode!
Yellow: Wah! We going die!
Black: I'm so terifraided, I'll eat a rock!
Rock: I'm no rock! I'm Magic Cow!
Gamechamp: We help need! Krad going go boom!
And so, the Robot Team rides the Magic Cow away, except they don't get away in time and explode.
*Back to the present... err... 2019*
Old Insane Guy: See? That makes complete sense on how they escaped. Now, your next question may be why the Robot Team fought the cute little monkey in MOG8. Well, I've used my skills again to discover why.
*Back in MOG8*
Gamechamp: Let's go fight that monkey for no reason!
*Back to 2019*
Old Insane Guy: See how the plot holes are getting filled? Now, for one last plot hole to fill: why is it my insanity is only shown in the fake flashbacks? Because, I'm not even a real MOG character, just some guy who'll probably never be used after this post. But if you insist, then WAFFLE BAGELS! MCCHICKEN! Now get out of my house before the gaurd flamingo gets hungry.
*</nowik>MANWHICH-while, deep in Gamechamp's head...* Gamechamp: What the? Wha- how? Wasn't my memory erased? Voice: Yes, but you are now using a special back-up file I created in case of such a thing happeneing. You see, the file would automatically record your memories, therefore if your memory was erased, this program would remain, keeping your memories intact. Usually, the program would have re-input the memories to give you them back, however someone reprogrammed you before that could be completed. Gamechamp: Wait a second... you created the program? Then that would mean you're... Voice: Yes, that is right. I am... Green! Gamechamp:... (shoots Green) Green: Owch! Gamechamp: Okay, what are you doing in my mind? Green: Well, you see, when doing some maitenance on you at some random point in time that really doesn't need to be told, I put in the program, along with an imprint of myself to explain if THIS ever happened. And it did. Gamechamp: Okay, what do I do to get control of my body back? Green: You wait till somebody on the outside gets you out. Gamechamp: Ok, then what's the point of making an imprint of yourself explaining everything if it will have no affect on what I do whatsoever? Green: ... I don't know. <nowiki>*MR.-INSANE-GUY'S-NEIGHBORHOOD-while, in the Robot Team's most recent secret base... (it's an abandoned space station this time)*
A small little light flickers on in a lab. It is a light on a small sphere-shaped thing. And the light is the form of an eye. Then another eye-light comes on. Then, the ball begins to rise in the air. Two small arms and two small legs sprout out of hidden compartments, and finally a mouth-shaped hole appears. Is it a monster? Is it going to kill us all? Are we doomed to be killed by this robotic thingamabobby. No, it's just the generic cute thing of the story. And it goes over to a control panel.
*SIR-MIX-A-LOT-while*
The remains of the Robot Team (excluding Gamechamp) dissappear.
*MAN-THAT-WASN'T-EVEN-WORTH-THE-MEANWHILES-while*
The Robot Team reappears on the space station.The little cute robot thing grabs them all and brings them to the Super Deluxe Chamber O' Fixo, and puts them in, setting the timer to 30 minutes.
Cute robot thingy: And now, to make up for that needlessly long thing, I'm gonna entertain you! *tapdances*
OOC: I'm back, suckas!
Author: Yami Yoshi
~The gardener reaches into his blue overalls pocket and pulls out a plastic bottle labeled “Burnseverythingexceptplasticium Acid”. The gardener screws off the bottle’s cap and pours the bottle’s clear, liquid contents into a plastic watering can.~
Gardener: ~walking towards the OGers~ Y’all will be a-screaming an’ a-shouting awful loud, but dun worry…the acid’ll penetrate yer skulls in a few seconds…
Yami Yoshi: Damn it!
~Yami Yoshi shoots out his tongue towards the gardener. The gardener gently places the watering can on the ground, detaches a pair of hedge clippers from his leather belt, and lops off half of Yami Yoshi’s tongue.~
Yami Yoshi: Yeouch!!!
~Yami Yoshi’s dismembered tongue flops on the ground like a snake watching that Japanese Pokemon episode with Porygon. The gardener reattaches the hedge clippers to his belt, picks up the watering can, and sprinkles several drops of Burnseverythingexceptplasticium Acid onto Yami Yoshi’s dismembered tongue, which instantly disintegrates.~
Gardener: That’s what yeh get for not using LotP’s lame puns as names!
Yami Yoshi: Shatmuck. Hey, this is just like the last post’s ending except I only have half a tongue!
Sword Master: And we’re much closer to getting killed.
Yami Yoshi: Yeah…that too…
Author: Golem
Fusion: GROW!
~A light surrounds Yami Yoshi, who sprouts up into a ten-foot-tall tree, complete with leaves, cracking open the Egg Shield in the process.~
SwordMaster: That's not an RPG move.
Fusion: It's from Golden Sun, you uncultured hick.
~Gardener has taken out a huge ax and now swings at Yami with it. A vibration is sent through the tree, freeing Dark Apples from the tree's branches. Enough of the Egg Shield is left to protect the OGers, but the Gardener is forced to leap backwards. The explosion's force still hits him, though, and he is blasted away a meter or so. The water can falls not far from him.
By now, Fusion has unfused everybody and changed Yami Yoshi to normal.~
SwordMaster: Do that earlier next time!!
Fusion: I needed something to crack that Egg Shield.
~Five logs (four about one third of a meter in diameter and two meters tall, while the fifth is a meter in diameter and a meter and a half tall) pop up out of the ground. The four thin ones sprout vines from the top and connect to the thick one.~
Gardener: Yer in for it now!
~The Gardener, standing on the thick log, takes out a stone that reads "#4" in glowing writing, and slams the stone into the log, which absorbs the stone.~
Velvet Monkey: The stone...!!
~Velvet Monkey, Fusion, and SwordMaster have been running to the Gardener this entire time, and when they reach the logs, they are thrown back by the force of the logs standing up--two thin ones as legs, two thin ones as arms, and the thick one as the torso. The gardener is inside the back of the torso.
A flame shoots forth from Yami's hands towards the Tree... the, uh, Tree Thing. A door opens up in the lower bit of the Tree Thing's torso and sucks in the fire, which feeds a furnace that was already blazing.~
Author: Fred
(GORE and Gamechamp's wrecked bodies sit inside a cell, waiting to be worked on by ESD. PL-0TT attempts to revive GORE's body, which has been stripped of it's metal arm and leg.)
GORE: Better. Now, I'd like to pry into the little matter of gamechamp.
PL-0TT: ~whimper~
GORE: I BOUGHT YOU, YOU KNOW. I HAVE THE RECIEPT. YOU WANNA MESS WITH THIS? YOU'RE JUST AN APPLIANCE- naw I'm just kidding. But we've got to tap into Gamechamp. At least to override his systems and then command his limbs to detach so I can use them.
PL-0TT: ~Perplexed, nods, then plugs into Gamechamp and GORE's metal side of his face, sending GORE's virtual self into GC~
(GORE finds a very angry looking group of gamechamp-esque robots, furious that he's entered)
GC-esque robots: GORE-Illa, for the horrendous crime of entering the realm which the great Evil Scientist Dude has ruled off limits, you are hereby sentanced to a very great deal of pain/death/whatever.
GORE: Save me popeye! (waves arms)
(GC's backup walks from behind)
Gamechamp: I'm not even going to dignify that with the rest of the parody.
Green: But... I brought motor oil!
Gamechamp: You'll never pay me back anyways. What are you doing here?
GORE: Well, I'm sort of in a pickle. It's still a cucumber, but it's getting there. I am kind of a cripple at the moment.
GC: Why should I help you? Team Robot's probably been destroyed by now, and Lupus's plans are coming to-
GORE: Because I can probably find Fusion, and the money he owes you?
GC: Ah YES! THE MONEY! Let's crush these punks and get me in charge! Time to fight in a brutal and physical way to beat the security although it's nothing like how a computer actually works!
GORE: Took the words... Well, you got them.
(GORE's data blocks the fire from the GC-clones, and then GC's data jumps out from behind him, returning fire. GORE rushes one, picks it up, and smashes it's head into another's head, knocking down another. GC blasts torsos off and chops necks with kicks. In about 5 minutes flat, thirty clones lay broken at their feet, and they move towards the motherboard. As they come to the mother board, GC's controller steps down and greets them. It looks like an older model of Gamechamp, and is backed up by ten guard clones.)
GORE: What the...
Older robot: Damn kids with your rap music. You don't know what cyberspace fighting's all about, do you? It's about horrendous explosions! (Arms a huge group of outcropping lasers)
GC: Hey, you fossil, that's my motherboard you're thinking of shooting at! I'll have to make this even quicker, then!
(MACK-DADDY-while, Just outside Lupus's mansion)
Gardener: Butch Birch here will crush you! Thankz to me stOOne, she's a beaut.
Velvet Monkey: Of course! The chair isn't so much stowed away, as it is created when you put the stones into slots! This one must have the power to create.
YY: I thought you knew about all this! You're still theorizing?!
Fusion: Less talk, more run away!
(Butch Birch or Tree-Thing or whatever you feel like calling chrages and smashes Chizu, Kantii, and Yami Yoshi's stunt double thirty metres across the plains. SM chops at it, and hacks it to pieces, if it simply reforms as the gardener laughs. YY throws a mummification egg to trip it up, and Fusion smashes it open. The gardener has become part of the tree, and it begins to absorb the grass and plants around it, growing bigger)
Velvet Monkey: Never mind, the stone's for character development.
Yami Yoshi: Look, Fusion, just blow the entire thing to bits, and we'll take the rock, and we're good.
Fusion: You mean... you're actually asking for me to do something-
(Fusion is squashed by the giant fist. YY throws a dark omelet, to no avail, as the rate of regeneration is too quick. Chizu recovers and jumps on the arm, which is spun like a motor, throwing her off, and sawing into the ground near Swordmaster.)
YY: This is pretty hopeless.
Velvet Monkey: Wait, the stone is in the left leg. The sword user could stab it out in one motion.
SM: Who's left? And don't say it's left, since it can face multiple ways at once.
YY: Stop being a baby and guess.
SM: I HOPE THIS WORKS etc. blah blah blah. Okay, STAB!
(The OG blade is stuck, the rock doesn't come out, and the OG blade is absorbed)
YY: Crap, you need a new sword.
SM: I'm going to go cry in the corner, now.
Kantii: Of dumb idiots you are, craw! You must bludgeon the beast! LIKE SO! (Kantii drums both fists down on the other leg, and it cracks and then crumbles. Butch Birch is no more.)
YY: YATTA!
(Suddenly, a hand extends, grabs the stone, and goes underground with it)
Lupus over loudspeaker: I really shouldn't leave those things lying around. But I'm tired of all of you. MANOR, TRANSFORM!
(Nothing happens)
Lupus over loudspeaker: I knew I missed a payment somewhere. Oh well, something better. ENTIRE CONTINENT OF AUSTRAILIA, TRANSFORM!
(Austrailia transforms into a gigantic Weisheit robot)
Chizu: (holding on to a steep slope) I thought the Earth was flat, now. How's that possible?
Lupus over Loudspeaker: I thought you guys would have have become a little smarter from our last few meetings, but noooooo.
Chizu: That doesn't answer my questi- (A broom comes of of the ground and starts hitting her)
YY: We should have just stayed at the party.
(MICRO MACHINES-While, inside the manor, the fight continues to rage. The Vorpal blade proves too strong for Fred's somewhat-discount hammer, and Fred is thrown back by it's sheer might. Lithium, however, presses a button on both Shotguns, and attaches them. The unfold to reveal a flak cannon, loaded with RIP beam irradiated haggis. It fires, and the Vorpal blade is blasted right out of Hamilton's hands as he blocks. Hamilton falls to the ground, unconcious. Introbulus sticks the incorporal into a couch, dazing it, and then wields his haliberd. Fred's strength matches his, but he quickly uses his glove shards to drop a chandelier onto fred. However, Koopa lies down behind Introbulus's legs, and Lithium carts his huge weapon into him, tripping him on Koopa's spikes, and having the weapon land on him. Murasame breaks in, only to realise he's half a second too late.)
Murasame: You didn't even leave ONE for me? The great Murasame?
Fred: Well, we didn't know you were coming to dinner.
Lupus: Author two, stay in that closet, thirty minutes isn't up yet. Mura, there are OGers on my robot, and they're ETHNICALLY STAINING it. Fix this problem.
Murasame: Yeah, alright. (SCENE CHANGE)
Old Insane Guy: And that's how the MOGers defeated Willy Wonka. The end.
Kid: No it isn't.
Old Insane Guy: Shut your filthy mouth if you ever want to see your parents again!