Story:MMEDDP Chapter 10
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Chapter 10[edit]
Ditto: Well, it would appear that our rivals for the Presidency have assembled, the night before the election, in one final, desperate attempt to remove us from the race...
Vorpal: I couldn't sleep anyway. *draws sword* ...Let's rock.
Ditto: Vorpal, you have a sword, you parry Masamune and Murasame... And get rid of the Super Bushio Bros. while you’re at it.
*looks in the distance* ...Leave Mr. Potato Head to me...
~~But meanwhile... what has happened to the Lady In Red...?~~
The snow falls over New York City... A few transients huddle beneath the scant warmth of the newsman's wares. A few cars sail carefully across the ice-slickened roads. The entire city shudders from the cold chill, which whips over the structures...
...A cold which is uniquely suited to the target of the Crimson-Clad Heroine's search...
High in the sky, a form, floating on a self-made updraft of warmth swoops high over the rooftops like a Valkyrie Version of Mary Poppins... She stiffens as the image of a tall, dark building is reflected in the lens of her ornate Scarlet Mask.
Unseen by the many good and not-so-good people of the city below, she begins a slow descent, to finally enter the lair of her long-time quarry. The principal reason she had for joining forces with the Doki Doki Panikers. She gritted her teeth in anticipation of confronting the foe who had not only masterminded the campaign against her friends, but was also attempting, at this last moment of all, to seize control over the country by taking over the Lady In Red's home state...
~Sitting in her top-floor office a few hours before delivering a speech in her run for Senator, Hellary plans yet another devious plot...~
Hellary: Go, my pretties! Lazsio is on his way to the debate! Find him and weaken him, wear him down, so he will barely be able to hold his head up during the debate!
*A bunch of wild, screeching shadows fly out the window to carry out her orders. It is late, and Hellary is alone... she thinks. A curtain rustles, and suddenly, she is face-to-face with...*
Hellary: ...The Lady In Red...
Lady in Red: Hm. Dispatching your wretched lackeys? What were they? Flying monkeys?
Hellary: Hm hm hm ha ha ha... Close. Winged bureaucrats. You look cold. Not used to the unseasonal weather?
Lady in Red: You know very well that the cause of this chill is you.
Hellary: Hm. I guess I have that effect on people. Soon, when I gain control of the most economically crucial state in the Union, my presence will infiltrate lives all over the country. Hm hm hm ha ha ha...
Lady In Red: It'll never happen, Ice Queen. I'm here to see to that...
Hellary: You've been going out of your way to thwart my efforts since the beginning. You've even assisted those hopeless Doki Panikers to keep my pawns out of office. What's your stake? What interest have you in these things?
Lady in Red: Just call me... a concerned citizen.
Hellary: Concerned...? Well, I always like to know who my constituents are... Now, to find out once and for all... who you are underneath that mask!
*Suddenly, Hellary blows a sharp arctic wind across the room. The Lady in Red is blown against the wall. Her mask is blown off her face, to reveal Sapphire. She puts up her parasol to protect herself from the wind, but Hellary sees her face*
Hellary: Just a... little girl? Some young punk political activist?! I'll have you know I was burning my unmentionables long before you were coughing up milk! Now, come here, and I'll turn you over to Juvie!
Sapphire: You stay away from me you... witch! *Saph grabs a nearby janitor's bucket with her umbrella and flings it at Hellary. It hits her full in the face, soaking her thoroughly. She screeches and covers her face, but it is too late. Her makeup begins to run...*
Hellary: *screeech!* I'm melting! MEEEELTING! Look what you've done, you wretch! It took me hours to get like this! Oh, what a world, what a world... *her true, ugly face shows beneath the makeup. Her chances of making a good showing are now lying in a puddle in the floor*
Hellary: Noooo...
*In a blink, Saph reaches down and replaces her mask. She then opens her umbrella, and catches an updraft out the window...*
-Meanwhile... Ditto prepares for Gorebot 2000*
Vorpal: Ditto, how can you face him? Guisseppie isn't here. Haven't you been in your human form all this time?
Ditto: Nope! I've been in politician form!
Vorpal: Oh, well... Give 'em Hades... partner.
Ditto: Don't worry about me... No one... But no one... Not even some self-reinventing chameleon private-school snot... can out-change this shape-changer!
*punches Guisseppie and turns into a Gundam Wing Mech. The two begin firing missiles at one another.*
Ditto: ...Hmmm... he's so well-built. Almost Japanese, in quality. How can I beat him?
*thinks back to everything he's read about Algore up to this point*
Ditto: What's been his weakness? Hmmm... keeping his facts straight... Let's see, what's been his most vulnerable spot...?
*remembers the story Algore once told about hearing his mother sing "Just Look For the Union Label" when he was an infant... a song that didn't come out until 20 years later. Suddenly, it hits him...*
Ditto: Wait! That was in... the 60s! That song must have been playing... when he was on the workbench! That's it!
*flies around to the back of Algore*
Ditto: Let's see... *sees an insignia on the back of Algore's head. It says, *Inspected By Union 13* ...THERE IT IS! THE UNION LABEL! And one thing you can always count on about American Workmanship...!
*Ditto fires a single missile at the Plate. A huge explosion rips from the metallic body. Algore's head goes flying, and lands, smoking, in Tipper's awed hands*
Ditto: ...Thank God for low Standards of American Workmanship...! *gives thumbs up*
Masamune: AIGH! This is it... now is the time to show what the Birdocrats are really made of! Our enemies are no longer the Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panic Team!
Dodo: ‘Tis not?
Masamune: No, for it is AlGore and Dubya the true evil ones! (besides, we can rule the world in our own unique fashion without running for president)
Dodo: I see! I shall call in backup! Birdo, Albatoss, Ostro, Goonie, Tweeter, Dactyl, Raven, all of you. Here now!
~ Several birds appear and land on the ground ~
Narrator: Both Murasame and Vorpal look over at the birds.
Masamune: *grins at Murasame* Remember 'The Birds'?
Murasame: Aieee! Scary Movie, Birds 2 was scary!
Masamune: Ever wondered what happened in Birds 3? Let’s find out! BIRDS! 'Delta Ultra Ultra Maximum Hoky Hoky Fear' attack!
Ditto: Don't tell me this is a 'dub' too...
Vorpal: Oh no. This is purely American. Isn't it obvious?
Ditto: *rolls eyes*
~ Dodo and his companions begin to attack Murasame and send him away ~
Vorpal: *jaw drops* You.. helped us?
Masamune: Yeah, yeah. Don't go thinking were friends or anything. I still have a score to settle with you!
Dubya: *claps* Very nice, unfortunately it's too late... Go Cheney!
[Clasp!]
Dubya: Gwah! What happened?
Tipper: Cheney is in the lockbox...! *giggles insanely* Mm hm hm ha ha ha! (Saturday Night Live Political Edition reference...) The place where all rival Pokemon Vice-presidents go... safe in the lockbox...
Dubya: The lock box!?!?! That's downright sinsterful!
Tipper: Sinisterful is not a word!
Vorpal: . . . Okay, so I guess that since it's all over, we just wait.
Ditto: I guess.
Narrator from Rocky and Bullwinkle Cartoon: Will Vorpal and Ditto win? Find out next time on . . . Misfits in the White House OR Down in the Dumps!
A black screen soon appears. John Madden and some other football announcer named Ted.
Ted: So John, what did you think of Vorpal's first big post in the Ongoing Storyboard?
John: I think it went well. It was iffy in the middle, but Ditto really pulled it together.
Ted: A robotic Al Gore? What'd you think of that?
John: A little unbelievable, but I think it worked out.
Ted: And what did you think about that 'Lady in Red'?
John: I was shocked when we learned it was...uh, the girl with the jewel name.
Ted: What about Masamune and the Birdocrats?
John: I didn't get that at all. As I think about it, this whole post was a complete joke! It doesn't make a lick of sense!
Ted: It's okay John, remember your blood pressure.
In the front Lobby of Motel 6, everyone is watching TVs.
Ditto: YES! Go Gore! Go Gore! Go Gore!
*Everyone looks at him like he's crazy*
Ditto: Oops. Sorry. I've been watching the "Real World" returns! *Turns to a fictional channel*
Vorpal: Hmmm... Let's see the results... I'm winning the popular vote, but I'm surprised by the electoral one.
Lady in Red: Are you losing?
Vorpal: Heck no. It's just tighter than I thought it would be.
Sgt. Flutter: Hey! They're showing the results of the Exit Polls!
That Delightful Peter Jennings: ...Okay, Election 2000 is underway. We've been polling people about how they voted and why. You, sir, what do you think?
Man: Well, I voted ‘fer that guy with the sword name.
TDPJ: Uhhh... Vorpal?
Man: No, the guy with the sword name.
Vorpal: *Yelling at the screen* Vorpal is a sword name. Read "Jabberwocky" for crying out loud! Doesn't Lewis Carroll ring a bell?
TDPJ: You mean... Masamune? But... he killed thousands of people.
Man: Yeah, including my mother-in-law.
TDPJ: *sweat* Uh... OK. Th-there you have it...
Ditto: That's okay Vorpal. You're still carrying... lessee... Alaska and Hawaii.
Vorpal: Oh, great. The freak states.
Ditto: Well, according to the popularity vote, you got 100% in... Florida and New York.
Vorpal: What about Missouri?!
Sgt. Flutter: *eating a sandwich* Maybe they remember you.
Vorpal: *angry*
Delightful Peter Jennings (on TV): Now, we join George W. Bush, his wife Laura, and George and Barbara as they watch the elections. Former President Bush, what do you think is the leading cause of your son's poor showing in this election?
Old Man: I'd say a mix of complex economic and social factors.
Jennings: ...And you, Mrs. Bush?
Barbara: ...Ditto.
Jennings: ...And there you have it. This is the Delightful Peter Jennings, signing off.
~ At Motel 6 ~
Ditto: *jaw drops* How did she know?!?
Masamune: *jaw drops* Whoa! I'm in lead in polls! DANGIT!
*clicks button and his face appears on TV nation wide*
Masamune: Stop voting for me! I dropped out, if I win I will destroy America!
Dodo: Your polls increased...
Masamune: I'll raise taxes and gas prices!!!
Dodo: Higher...
Masamune: I'm a darn nice guy, love me!
Dodo: Your votes reached an all-time low!
Masamune: Whew! What a relief, I never wanted to rule a Country anyway!
*Ditto pokes his head out of a large box marked "BALLOT BOX." little crumpled up pieces of paper lay in piles all around*
Ditto: What? ME? How could you-- oops. *takes off his black mask*
Ditto: I'm... helping them count. *crawls back in*
Ditto: *from within* Hmmm... Gore. Hmmm... Gore... Hmmm. Bush. *crumpling noise*
*Another balled-up wad comes flying out*
Ditto: *pokes head out and yells off to one side* Okay guys! I found another "lost" ballot box back here! *crawls back in*
Ditto: Hmmm... Gore... Vorpal... Vorpal... Di--? ME?!
Lady in Red: *Blink* What in the world--?
*TV shows a triumphant Hellary giving a speech*
Ditto: *jaw drop* I guess you didn't melt her enough....
Lady in Red: *Sigh* Oh, and one thing. *Takes off her mask*
Vorpal: *jaw drop* Sapphire?!
Sapphire: *shrug* Hellary already saw me, so figured that you would eventually find out... *replaces the mask*
Ditto: Actually--
Vorpal: SHHH!
Flutter: Go Nader. Errr... I mean Bush!
Ditto: You do know Gore is going to win.
Lady in Red: He knows, just doesn't want to admit it.
Vorpal: *Very mad* C'mon guys!
Ditto: Watching “Real World” returns...
Vorpal: Oh.
Flutter: But my sky troopas over sea haven't voted yet. There are about a billion of them and they are on the side of Bush... *pause* I mean, Vorpal of course...
Over seas...
SkyTroopa 1: Whom should we vote for?
SkyTroopa 2: The one who Sarge wants to win.
SkyTroopa 3: Which is that?
SkyTroopa 4: I think it is Nader.
SkyTroopa 1-1,000,000,000: Ok. *Marks Nader*
February 15, 2001...
Flutter: Stupid Sky-Troopas. Turning America communist. Government making us wear this stupid uniform. Making us go to war with everybody.
| Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik |
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