Story:MMEDDP Chapter 11
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Chapter 11[edit]
THE FINAL COUNT...
That delightful Peter Jennings: Well, it all comes down to Florida. What an amazing race it's been. Here's how the count currently stands.
Dubya: 32.3%
Algore: 32.3%
Vorpal: 32.3%
Pukecannon: 0%
Nader: 3%
And the Nader said nothing
Just gave a sad, sad backward glance,
As he lifted himself, by the seat of his pants.
And I'll ne'er forget, ‘twas in the darkest of moods,
As he hoisted himself, back into the woods.
And where the Nader last stood, was one word,
UNLESS
we'll never know what it means, I guess.
Flutter: It MEANS we'll never get to hear the UNLESS you shut up!
Tom Bodett: Oops. Sorry.
That Delightful Peter Jennings: ...Only one more ballot box has yet to be counted. Oddly enough, officials say there is no sign of it.
Ditto: No sign...?
Vorpal: Where is it...?
*Suddenly, a door is kicked open. Someone familiar to EVERYONE steps into the room. Gone, however, are his familiar suits. Instead, he wears blue jeans and a wife-beater. In his hand is a Big Mac*
Vorpal: Clintin'!!!
Clintin': Relax! I'm not here as an enemy. The last box was stolen, and I know by whom.
Vorpal: W-who?
--In the car, the lights pass over the face of... Pukecannon!--
Pukecannon: HAHHAAA! Ultimate power is mine! I will sell this to the highest bidder, and next election, I will have enough moolah to run my OWN campaign! Mwhahaha!
Man: *pulling up to him* Hey, either speed up or get out of the passin' lane, pops.
Clintin': We gotta stop him.
Vorpal: But... isn't he your crony?
Clintin': Not anymore. He's gone plum crazy. We gotta get him, and I have just the thing.
*They step out and see a school bus by the curb*
Clintin': I've had 'er in the garage since the election, when I used to tour in it. Hop in.
*They do. Clintin' hops into the driver's seat and shuts the doors. They pull out.*
Lady In Red: But, why should we trust you?
Clintin': Look, I've always been under Hillary’s control. But, since you defeated her, little missy, I've been freed. Y'see... I was just a poor farm-boy in Little Rock, Arkansas. One day, I was ridin' a load of turnips into Cambridge, Massachusetts. I fell off, and stumbled into Harvard. Hillary found me. She saw I had the ability to charm people. She asked me if I ever wanted to be someone, and I jumped like a trout upstream. I became her willing slave. She got me through Harvard, Yale, and Oxford, and ever since she's used me as her tool to gain power, and to have Chelsea. But now, my two terms are over, and my image is manure. I'm of no use to her now. The spells broken, and I'm free of her control, thanks to you, li'l missy.
Lady in Red: You're welcome.
Vorpal: Hey! Look up ahead! It's Pukecannon!
Ditto: Where?
Vorpal: In the passing lane, going 28 mph with his left-blinker on.
Flutter: He's right! There he is!
Ditto: *grabbing the binoculars* Hmmm... Ha! Hahaha!
Vorpal: What is it?
Ditto: He won't get far.
Vorpal: What do you mean?
Ditto: Look there. *Hands him the binos and points*
Vorpal: Whe- Oh my God... *passes the binos* His tires...
Lady In Red: They're...
Ditto: *Big grin* Firestone!
Vorpal: He's dead.
Pukecannon: Hahaha! There's the state border! I'm home free... And it's all thanks to...
*Suddenly the car goes up in a ball of flames. Pukecannon goes flying into the horizon. The ballots go flying off the road*
Pukecannon: *flying away* Looks like Team Reform's blasting off agaiiiin! *ding*
*The bus pulls over. Everyone gets out to retrieve the last ballots on Earth. Reporters gather around to cover the opening of this last ballot box.*
Ditto: *Looking inside* Wow! There are TONS in here!
Peter Jennings: Here we are, live, at what will be the dramatic climax of the most turbulent election in over a century. Here now, we will show you, live, the FINAL count, to see who will be the next President.
Vorpal: Hey! It's the Delightful Peter Jennings! Hi! I'm your biggest fan!
Peter Jennings: How do you know that?
Flutter: He must be. Trust us.
Clintin': Hey! Look! A whole buncha flyin' turtles! They're bringin the overseas ballots to us!
Lady in Red: So, what's the final count, Ditto?
Ditto: It's... it's...
--Governor's Mansion--
Dubya: YES?
--White House--
AlGore: YES?
--Every household in America--
Everyone: Yes?
--Texas--
Perot: No. I mean yes. No. Yes. No. Yes.
Ditto: It's...
--suddenly, the film breaks--
*In the sound booth*
Vorpal: Oopsie.
Lady In Red: Looks like, due to technical difficulties *holds the shears behind her back* The endings been cut.
Ditto: Stay tuned for "Doki Panik 2: The Vorpal Administration!"
*If you are listening to the Midi from the top, I suggest you skip the credits for now and read the "Final Scene" near the End of the Post. It's designed to go well with the very end of "One Winged Angel"* Note: Ditto's Post started with a midi to One Winged Angel from FFVII to be timed along with about normal reading speed. I do not remember where that post began, however. --Vorpal
--CREDITS--
(Now, those of you who finished FF3, you may remember the ending involved playing each character's "Theme." Well, I went to a lot of trouble to find "Themes" for important elements to the story. Punch in the following web addresses to either bring up the Midi file, or go to the web page. I think you'll find most appropriate and entertaining. Relax. Listen. Enjoy. Reflect.) Another Note: Obviously, these links probably all don't work anymore, considering they are now more than 7 years old. --Vorpal
"Hail to the Chief" - Presidential Theme
(www.divtune.com/s/hailtoch_.mid)
"Almost Unreal" - "Vorpal's Theme"
(If you don't see how it relates to him, think about where you might have heard it... I'm sure HE'LL recognize it)
(http://midi.roxette.org/au1.mid)
"A Town Where You Can See the Ocean" - "Ditto McCloaker's Theme"
(If you can't guess where it's from, I ain't gonna tell .)
(www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/6800/kiki/music/kiki.mid)
"Lady In Red" - "Sapphire's Theme"
(It's a web page I just happened to stumble over. Enjoy)
(http://members.nbci.com/WebMistris/ladyinred.html)
"If I Only" - "Dubya, Algore, and Nader Theme"
(The perfect songs for Dubya, Algore, and Nader, in that order! It's a web page! Enjoy!)
(www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Hills/6396/ifionly.htm)
"Wild Blue Yonder (Military Song)" - "Flutter's Theme"
(hope you like it, Sarge!)
(http://http://members.tripod.com/~Son_Struck/pmmf/wildblueyonder.mid)
"Dodo" - "Masamune's Theme"
(You'll recognize it, I'm sure, Masa!)
(www.rpgmidi.com/midi/mrpg/mrpgdodo.mid)
And last but not least... "Theme for our loyal "Merlin-the-Magic-Seer Machine" - "Thank You Very Much, Mr. Roboto"
{http://home.klis.com/~bertrob/80stop/roboto.html)
"Ending Theme"
(http://rivendell.fortunecity.com/vampire/452/rpgmidis/ending.mid)
Hope you like 'em.
--And Now...--
Dear Love,
I fear that things are not going well over here in the States. It looks like my family has fallen out of favor.
*Across the ocean, a private jet lands on a foggy airfield. The carpet rolls out, and a person emerges, flanked by guards...*
I can no longer tolerate them, so I am coming to you, my darling. Together, we shall succeed where my foolish parents failed.
*A bunch of guards wearing bushy helmets open a large gate and escort a young lady up to a large Palace*
An imbecilic, unfaithful, reviled father...
A martyred yet controversial mother...
Born into families of wealth and influence, given the best education and preparation...
Spending our childhood’s hiding from the public eye...
Both bent on world domination...
I feel that, with so much in common, that we are the perfect pair...
*Sitting in a chair in an impressive Palace room, a shadowy figure looks up from a letter and flips his blonde hair. He is surrounded by icy fog. A fog that emanates from him*
Love,
Chillsea
*Another cold mist enters the room as a pair of British guards’ escort in Chillsea*
Boy: Ah, you've arrived, my darling.
Chillsea: I've waited so long to see you again, my Dark Prince of Evil.
Boy: No need for the formalities, my dearest. To you, I am merely...
*he rises from his throne. A fog rolls off his shoulders and emanates from him*
Dark Prince: ...William.
*The two purely evil offspring embrace. His fog and her chill combine, and instantly the room is plunged into a grim, icy gloom*
Chillsea: So gloomy and cold in here...
Dark Prince: ...We're perfect together!
Chillsea: ...And soon, the world will tremble at our feet!
Dark Prince: Mwa ha-ha-ha-ha...!
Chillsea: Hm hm hm ha ha ha...!
--In the White House--
Hellary: *eyes popping* Where is Chelsea? *sees a note tacked to the seat. She snatches it up and begins reading* BIIIIILLLL!
--At McDonald's--
*A tall figure behind a cash register turns to address a customer*
Clintin': Would you like fries with that?
*Turns to the camera, smiles, and winks*
*The evil laughter of Chillsea and the Dark Prince echo through the darkness*
*A bunch of people crowd into a meeting hall and sit down. A tall, mustachioed man in green overalls stands up and addresses the crowd...*
Luigi: Today, Luigi-Anon has a new member with us today. He, too, struggles with an addiction: He helps his older brother gain national fame and then toils under his shadow. Sir, will you please rise and introduce yourself?
*Shrub, wearing green overalls and cap, stands up*
Shrub: Hello. My name is Jeb Bush... and I'm a closet Luigi. *Breaks down and cries*
*The crowd applauds*
*Roger Clinton (Bill's brother) rises*
Roger: ...We feel your pain.
*They hug*
...THE END
-Hours later-
Sgt. Flutter: *steps in on everyone sitting in confetti with bottles of Dr. Pepper and Cherry Coke on the floor* Did we win?
| Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik |
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