GCPA Sidequests Part 6
| Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 |
The Adventures of Scruffy and Que Pasa: Harry Potter and the Mystery of Where the Hell the Light Rail is
by Scruffy and GORE-ILLA on November 18, 2005
*Big dramatic anime theme song filled with philospical lyrics that have nothing to do with the show.*
Scruffy: Excellent!
Que Pasa: Cap'n, everyone has gone off to Newport to watch the new Harry Potter movie!
Scruffy: What bout us? Weren't we invited?
Que Pasa: I dunno. The invitations must have gotten lost in the mail
Scruffy: Damn those fools! Who feeds them?
Que Pasa: Mr. T does.
*Scene of Mr. T sprinkling fish food into the ship from above.*
Scruffy: Who gives them shelter? Who adopted them???
Que Pasa: Kelsey Grammar. ...We must find them!
Scruffy.: Well then, who's ship is it?
Que Pasa: Technically it belongs to the state of Idaho.
Scruffy: ..... I have a brilliant idea that I just stole from you. Let's go find them!
Que Pasa: Excellent! They were going to take something they call the "light rail". We must find this "light rail" and intercept them there
Scruffy: What the fuck is that?
Que Pasa: I have no clue. But if we keep wandering in random directions, we're sure to find it.
Scruffy: Okay, before our ship gets blown up again though, let's use these horses that just happen to be here.
Que Pasa: Okay.
*Scruffy and Que Pasa board the horses and ride off while Lord of the Rings music plays*
(A horse bites Que Pasa's Mario-Kun manga)
Que Pasa: BAKANA! (eats the horses) Damn, I should have said it in Kanji to get extra credit
Scruffy: Great....now we have no mode of transportation! ...I have an excellent idea! (whistles)
(Salama comes tired and hungry saying, "Feed me feed me". Scruffy presses the button on the cloning machine and duplicates Salama into 3.)
Scruffy: There, transportation. And this time, the transportation can eat you instead of you eating it.
Que Pasa: Salama went to the movie didn't he?
Scruffy: No, I don't think he did. And anyway, this is a clone. All 3 are clones.
Que Pasa: *climbs out of Salama's mouth* Ah the cruel irony!
Scruffy: (pulls Que Pasa out) Stop...fooling ....around!!!
Que Pasa: Hey, you know this is the perfect opportunity for some random villain to come and challenge us!
Scruffy: So it is.
*A closet opens, and Mr. Fatigue marches out.*
Mr. Fatigue: Gimme yo' energy bitches!
Scruffy: Mr. Fatugue!!!!!
Mr. Fatigue: And that's Fatigure, bitch!!!
*Mr. Fatigue starts doing a wild dance*
Scruffy: Que Pasa....feel...weak!
Que Pasa: (cuts one of the Salama's stomaches open) Quick, hide in here!
Scruffy: Get the meat-scented Fabreese can....and spray it...on Fatigue!
Que Pasa: *does what he just said, and Mr. Fatigue runs off chased by the Salama clones.*
Scruffy: Good job, Que Pasa! Now, we're off.
Que Pasa: They're probably already at Newport Mall. Let's just head there
Scruffy: (following that sign that says Newport Mall)
*Mr. Meyer follows them in the shadows with two leashed cowjackals*
Que Pasa: We're almost there!
(After a long and perilous trek through the Sahara Desert, Great Wall of China, center of the earth, and the Eiffel Tower, they reach the Light Rail.)
Scruffy: We're here...we made it!!!! (gets jumped)
*They're both pinned to the ground by Mr. Meyer's cowjackals.*
Scruffy: Damn it, so close! (train moves off to next stop) We missed it!
Que Pasa: Not yet! *tosses one of the cowjackals into the other, causing them to explode, then fires a grappling hook from his nose cannon that links onto the train*
*Scruffy grabs onto Que Pasa's foot as the train pulls him away*
Scruffy: Good job Que Pasa, I'll finish the cowjackals off! (drops energy sword on rail, causing an electric oversurge, send the jackals flying in a Team Rocket fashion)
Mr. Meyer: (speaks into walkie-talkie) They're getting away.
Guy on Other End: Don't worry, leave them to me.
*Gorenicus rides up in a hovercar and starts dropping junk towards Scruffy and Que Pasa.*
Scruffy: Aw crap, Gorenicus! Not you again, you stupid monkey!
*Gorenicus flies towards the grappling line with a giant pair of nose clippers*
Scruffy: No!!!!!
*Inside the train, the other crewmates are too busy tossing around Family Guy quotes to notice anything. Gorenicus cuts the line and sends them flying back as the train leaves*
Scruffy: (falls of) Remember me for who I am!!!!!
Que Pasa: Remember who?
Scruffy: (thud) ouch
Que Pasa: We failed to catch them there, but we have to get to Newport Mall! Our afternoon's entertainment is at stake! I just want to go there and shout out, "CEDRIC DIGGORY DIES!"
*The pirates quickly board jet skis and continue driving towards Newport.*
Scruffy: Where'd you get these?
Que Pasa: Don't remember. Think I stole them from a hobo.
Scruffy: I know what he feels like... (remembers a Jedi with a pirate band steal his blanket) Well, anyhow, how do you use 'em?
Que Pasa: You just... use them.
*Cap'n drives forward with new intensity. They soon arrive at Newport Mall after dodging a field of movies starring rappers like Fifty Cent*
Scruffy: Phew, we made it!
*Scruff and Pas quickly rush towards the movie theater.*
Movie Dude: Sorry, the movie already started, and it's never being shown again since its being recalled for its high amount of HOT SEX
Que Pasa: Maybe we can sneak in!
*Gorenicus drops down through the air duct*
Gorenicus: Not so fast!
Scruffy: Not you again! (throws fireball)
*Gorenicus is still laughing, chokes on the fireball and explodes*
Scruffy: ....I planned that. Now, let's go in!
Movie Guy: I said no!!!!
Scruffy: Que Pasa, dance off with him!
Que Pasa: *grabs a pencil and duels the Movie Dude; Eventually the Movie Dude is pinned to the poster for Superman Returns by a pencil going through his chest*
*The others come out of the movie.*
Que Pasa: Wow, that duel lasted 154 minutes?
Scruffy: Wrong!!!, it lasted 154.00 minutes!!! u fail, no go to the dorner and cry!!!
Que Pasa: Fine. Where's the dorner?
*A giant polygonal being drops down.*
Being: I AM THE DORNER, BRINGER OF DOOM!
Scruffy: Oh no, trouble! (goes into a trash can and a magical light appears around it, a figure pops out wearing a cape and speaking with a Californian accent)
Figure: Where there's trouble, you can count on Super Hobo!!!!!!
*Super Hobo and the Dorner run into each other and fight until Dorner's penis is set on fire and he explodes.*
Super Hobo: Whenever a citizen is in need , like I'll be there, or here, or that place where the citizen is.......Super Hobo...AWAY!!!!!!(goes to fly off for a dramatic end but trips over own cape)
Super Hobo: Dude!!! That, like, hurt shaw!
*The Millennium Falcon drives into the mall.*
Han Solo: Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!
Que Pasa: What the hell just happened?
*Japanese anime credits play with shots of random girls and more lyrics with philosophical meaning that have nothing to do with the show.*
The Electric Train Adventures
by No Name on November 19, 2005
The Electric Train Adventures *not a sequel*
Edwin: It's a half day. Wanna go to the mall and watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?
Stampede: Alright! Let's invite Patten, Krazy, No Name, Lupine, Que Pasa, Shiny Stallone, Salama, Dreamer and Karl the Angry Black Man Trying to Get Out the Hood, and some other people (like Bianca and stuff)
*During Homeroom*
Mr. Fatigue: Guys, I'm leaving...to Atlanta.... *starts drying*
No Name: NOOOOOOO! Now Keyara is the token black girl! Why Mr. Fatigue! Why! Is it because of the lock-in..We're sorry, we were just playing with you!
Mr. Fatigue: No, it's Destiny calling me, No Name and crew!
No Name: Screw Destiny!
*Mr. Fatigue picks up cell phone*
Mr.Fatigue: Hey Destiny. What's up boo? Yeah I'll be there next week...yeah....yeah...alright. By the way when you said screw Destiny.... I just might take up that offer. Have a donut.
*Que Pasa takes a donut*
Que Pasa: Hey this one is shaped like a penis! With jelly filling!
Edwin: That's the new form of gonorrhea!
*Later during the day*
Dreamer: Can I come ?
Que Pasa: I don't know!
Patten: There are too many people coming.
That Krazy Dude: Aha, he said coming!
Que Pasa: Touche!
That Krazy Dude: !echout
*Que Pasa hysterically laughs, and milk comes out his nose.*
That Krazy Dude: AHAHA you have white sutff coming from your nose!
*At the lockers. Stampede, No Name, and No Name's brother "Some Name" talk to Patten to find out how they will get to the light rail.*
Stampede: Alright so Patten we're taken your bus and we can all drop our stuff at your house right?
*Patten is having orgie with Reneta and Bianca.*
Patten: No, my mom is acting like a female dog.
Stampede: Yo bro, what the hell! *takes pistols out and shoots the hallway up*
No Name: Thats alright I'll drop my stuff off at Edwin's.
Patten: See you're cool. You're not angry like Stampede.
*Later in geometry class*
Mr. Greco: Okay, so how can we find the sum of the measure of angle 1 and 4 to be 270 other then using the sum of the exterior angles always add up to 360?
*Que Pasa runs up to No Name*
Que Pasa: (whispers into his ear) Harry Potter, Harry potter, Harry potter....PENIS! *starts laughing*
Stampede: Yo Daniel, can we go to G's to get a bus pass?
Mr. Greco: Alright. But be careful. The road to G's is a treacherous one...filled danger and more danger at every corner, oh and cream filling! But take heed, the treasure is worth the perils!
*Edwin, Stampede, and No Name walk out the class room*
Stampede: I don't know what dangers Daniel is talking about, I don't see any here.
*Dr. Abbasi and Ms. Dobkin appear*
Ms. Dobkin: You three talk to much....must separate...IN HELL! Or in Japanese, jjitenshigoku! I think ...I've grown senile in my times.
Dr. Abbasi: I am called a doctor but have nothing in relation to MEDICINE!
*Both teachers rush towards Edwin, Stampede, and No Name*
Dobkin: Masshu-san, you will never be good enough for the Honor Society! Carlo Get serious! No Name..... *Bows to No Name*
Abassi: I am a wet blanket ...I ruin everyones fun...and I am a wet blanket....!
*Edwin transmutates a pillar to uppercut Abassi into the air. Stampede shoots Abbassi to keep him in the air while No Name does a bunch of cool slashes with his light saber.*
No Name: Well that's that, to G's! *shakes leg because Dobkin is humping his leg, Nemo then joins* Oh boy.....
*The three finally arrive at G's*
G: You have summoned me...what do you wish for?
Stampede: Three bus passes!
G: I can't, the buses are too full.. *Reneta and Angie walk in and ask for bus pass and get on*.....and you're not as hot as them *Kim walks by and tongue-kisses G* See you later Kim...Well anyway, get outta here! I can't give you a bus pass! *Dragon Balls disperse, and now the crew has to wait another year to make a wish*
Edwin: That was ass!
*Later that day, school finishes and the crew is off to the bus assigned in order to get the light rail. Patten and Reneta get on the Union City bus, Edwin on the Jersey City bus.*
Stampede: Alright, we have to fight the bus driver in order to get on and get to the light rail!
*No Name, Some Name, and Stampede rush towards the bus ready to fight! The bus driver summons her minions and with a 1960's Batman montage, they begin to fight. Some BAM, AND WHAM, AND SPLAT happen and the crew manage to get onto the bus.*
Stampede: That's that! *they get onto the bus and a couple of stops later the get off at Patten's house*
No Name: Is that your house?
Patten: No. *couple of steps later*
No Name: How boout that one?
PAtten: NO!
No Name: That one?
PAtten: NO!
*The crew arrives at Patten's house that reveals a large castle built outta gold*
Patten: Well I'll meet you up at the light rail! Go to Edwin's house to drop your stuff off.
No Name: Okay. * Some Name, No Name, and Stampede begin walking off*
Patten: Wait! I didn't tell you where to go!...Oh well.
Stampede: So No Name, what happens if Edwin left his house already?
No Name: Don't speak like that!
*A few blocks later. The crew sees Edwin walking a block away from his house*
No Name: Edwin!
Stampede: Man that was close!
No Name: No it was DESTINY! Anyway Edwin, let's drop this stuff at your house.
*No Name and Some Name drop their stuff of at Edwin's house. Then head to the light raill and then the arrive there. Everyone buys their ticket and gets on the bus. Edwin plays with the handicap chair. The crew then makes the switch to the light that heads to new port.*
Patten: Alright we're finally here!
*The crew runs inside the mall. They buy the ticker for 4:45 movie. Most of the males including Karl the Angry Black Man Trying to Get Out the Hood go to the book store. Along the way Lupine and No Name get caught by the Final Fantasy VII movie. Stampede thens shoots the screen.*
No Name: What the hell!
Stampede: That stuff is gay!
Lupine: You're gay!
*The male part of the crew except for Patten arrive at the book store. They go through the manga and game magazines...when No Name comes across a "smooth" magazine...one where a bunch of girls with big butts and tits pose in sexy lingerie.*
No Name: Yo Karl look at that...that's mad sexy!
Karl: Hell yeah yo!
Edwin: I'm pitching a tent!
*Mr. Greco finds an Ultimate X-men magazine*
Mr. Greco: OMG! Rogue!
Karl: Yo Greco, look at this!
Mr. Greco: That's nothing *continues o stare at the Ultimate X-Men magazine*
*The crew heads to the movie and 3 hours later the movie finishes. During the movie Edwin, Stampede, and No Name make funny comments about the movie.*
No Name: I challenge you, Stampede, to a Lethal Force 3 challenge!
*Stampede and Karl are already there playing*
No Name: Ouch!
Karl: This is for ma boy Naheim and Moo-Moo and Taya! rest in peace! *Karl then dies in the game* Damn....
No Name: My turn! *puts quarters in and joins Stampede. Stampede then dies in the game*
Edwin: Man No Name, you're trigger happy!
No Name: This is for Stampede! *No name loses* Ahh forget it, I'm not a gun man plus Stampede isn't worth it. *draws light saber and destroys machine* Yeah much better.
No Name: Well guys, hate to end this story in an anti-climactic way but farewell... *the whole group departs*
OH AND NEMO DIES. Don't ask me how, use your imagination.
The Adventures of Scruffy and Que Pasa- Outbreak: The Unofficial Steven Spielberg Sequel That Japan Never Released in America
by Scruffy and GORE-ILLA on November 23, 2005
*Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd walks into Morgan Freeman's office.*
Morgan Freeman: What are you doing here duck-man?
Frzlngd: I need you to help me create a biological weapon that I can use to destroy the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada!
Morgan Freeman: I don't know if my conscience can let me do that. I narrate for them, for Jebus's sake!
Frzlngd: Would you rather these pictures make their way into the local press? (holds up naked pictures of Morgan Freeman)
Morgan Freeman: So I did some things I wasn't proud of when I was younger... fine, I'll help!
Frzlngd: Excellent! And I have the perfect container for the virus... (holds up a monkey)
Moragan Freeman: A monkey, again?!?!?
Frzlngd: Shut up! (slaps Morgan Freeman) I call the shots around here..... and besides monkeys are cool.
Morgan Freeman: No they're not, they're annoying little creatures who play all day long and act stupid.
Frzlngd: That's not true!
Morgan Freeman: Oh, then what do you call that? (points)
*A monkey jumps onto a tree, puts his hand up his ass, sniffs his hand, puts his hands in the air, and falls to his death*
Morgan Freeman: See what I mean.
Frzlngd: We lose more monkeys that way everyday.
Morgan Freeman: Monkeys are not going to work. Look what happened to the old one, it got tranquilized and is now in a lab somewhere being studied.
Frzlngd: You're right, it's time to bring out, the Super Monkey.
Morgan Freeman: Gah! what is it with you and your obsession with monkeys?!?!?
Frzlngd: No I'm not! (is wearing an I Love Monkeys T-shirt, I Love Monkeys Boxer Shorts, I Love Monkeys Cap, a Mini I Love Monkeys Cap for his Duck-Hand, I Love Monkeys Dolls around him and I Love Monkeys Poster.)
Morgan Freeman: (scared) What is...this Super Monkey?
Frzlngd: A monkey that's bullet proof, does not need food or water, and has a lethal Feces Shbuttgun.
Morgan Freeman: (looks at monkey) Still looks like a stupid monkey to me!
*Super Monkey shoots Freeman with the Feces Shbuttgun. Freeman is tossed half way across the room.*
Frzlngd: I call him - Edwardo!
*Elsewhere on the Golden Cheesecake, Nemo is walking along the side of the ship when he finds the monkey.*
Nemo: Hey little guy. You want some apple slices? What's your name?
Edwardo: I am Edwardo, bitch! (bites Nemo and runs away)
*Nemo is later rushed to the medical center of the ship.*
Scruffy: What's wrong with him?
eLFa: I don't know, he has some weird-ass symptoms. Que Pasa thinks he has a cure.
Que Pasa: Precisely. (grabs eLfa's guitar and starts wailing on Nemo with it) Leave, demons! The power of Jebus compels you!
Heart Monitor: Dooooooooooooooooooooo....
Stampede: Well he didn't make it. Who wants to play Nemo Organ Ball?
*Everyone starts flinging Nemo's organs at each other except Scruffy and Que Pasa who are playing a random game of Go Fish. When they come back everyone is on the ground moaning.*
Scruffy: That's what you get for having a big giant orgy without us.
Que Pasa: No, wait... everyone's been... INFECTED!
No Name: I haven't. I was constipated in the bathroom.
Scruffy: We should quarantine them while we find a cure.
*All the pirates are put into a quarantine area. Scruffy and Que Pasa put on special radiation suits with gas masks and enter with No Name.*
Que Pasa: No Name... you forgot your suit.
No Name: I thought I felt a breeze. (collapses)
Scruffy: Now it's up to us to cure them.
Que Pasa: We must find the source! (holds up Nemo's gall bladder) Aha! It was obviously caused by a monkey bite. We must find this host monkey. I'm just pulling a name out of the air here, but let's call him Edwardo!
Scruffy: poncho
*Nemo revives and dies painfully hours later.*
Scruffy: Of course by some strange miracle the people who can't revive themselves look like they can stay alive for a few more weeks.
*Elsewhere, Frzlngd meets with Morgan Freeman again.*
Frzlngd: So how's the disease going?
Morgan Freeman: Good- too good. It's spread to a nearby island. Everyone is dying!
Frzlngd: Impossible.
Morgan Freeman: The virus has evolved. It now... can withstand reruns of Roseanne.
Frzlngd: No... WHAT HAVE I DONE???
*A brainiac nerd comes in and explains it in weird scientific language.*
Braniac Nerd: This is the amount of people infected now... (presses a button, the screen behind shows one dot in the sector of the Golden Cheesecake) ...in two days... (shows a slightly larger dot) In three days... (shows the Earth being struck by a meteor) We need a group of brave men to destroy this meteor.
Frzlngd: Sorry, we're parodying Outbreak, not Armageddon. (humps the Brainiac Nerd until he explodes) Apology accepted, Captain Needa.
Morgan Freeman: And you should also know that the captain and first mate are not yet infected. They're searching for a cure.
Frzlngd: We cannot let them find Edwardo and trace him back to us. I'll send out the choppers.
*Elsewhere, Scruffy and Que Pasa run to the ship's helicopter pad.*
Scruffy: The monkey's not on the ship. We'll have to search the whole area in this helicopter.
*The helicopter takes off and starts flying over a nearby island.*
Scruffy: Hey, do you think the virus will make the people come back as zombies like in those video games and movies?
*Some random zombie guy jumps up and starts humping the windshield.*
Que Pasa: Does that answer your question?
*Two other helicopters pull up towards them.*
Helicopter Man 1: Please stop now and we'll kill you!
Helicopter Man 2: Otherwise we'll kill you!
Scruffy: Quick, we have to lose them!
*The helicopters chase the pirates' helicopter through a narrow canyon. Helicopter Man 1 locks in on Scruffy's helicopter.*
Helicopter Man 1: I have you now... (suddenly both helicopters are blown up by laserfire. The Millennium Falcon swoops down)
Han Solo: Now blow this thing up so we can all go home!
Que Pasa: You might have the wrong address...
*Elsewhere at the Death Star, Luke's X-Wing is shot down by a group of TIE Fighters.*
Han Solo: I must've taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. (flies away)
*The helicopter lands, and Scruffy and Que Pasa get out with their monkey hunting equipment.*
Scruffy: Okay, you take the butterfly net, I'll use the MK-50 Heat Seeking Rocket Launcher!
Que Pasa: You look a little under equipped captain, you sure you can tackle such large game with such minimal firepower?
Scruffy: You never know, Que Pasa. That's what life is, a giant experiment, we have to test the possibilities first. Look, the elusive Nemonitus Nitroblowupticus!!!! (shoots a shot)
*Nemo sniffs the air like a rat, sees the incoming rocket. The view changes to his view, no we see everything he sees. He runs in zig-zags, jumps over a cat, bounces off of Mr. Gonzalez's stomach, runs up a tree, jumps unto a another one, fights off a bear, takes the thorn out of a lion, chews his way out of an Apple Jacks box, and then looks behind him. There is nothing behind him and he is relieved. He turns around and 3 seconds pass and is blown up. The rocket made an unexpected U-Turn, as most American Drivers do on the highway. The Replays of Nemo's Death are shown in numerous views*
Scruffy: That'll do little Nemo, that'll do.
Que Pasa: Lets go catch that furry midget Cap'n!
*One hour later*
Scruffy: Catch anything, Que Pasa???
Que Pasa: Sure did, Cap'n! (holds up net showing numeous butterflies) How bout you, Cap'n?
Scruffy: Yup (holds up fishing pole with that fish with the real long name from Hawaii, the humuhumunukunuku‘apua‘a , on the end.)
Que Pasa: But no sign of the monkey yet. (notices Edwardo humping his leg) I thought I felt a tingling there for the last hour.
Edwardo: Edwardo.....very....horny.......must feed.....on flesh.......of Cuban child........ (jumps into the air and catches Lupine's fruity owl, Aeolus, and starts eating and humping it at the same time)
Random Porn Freak: Alright!!! Monkey on Owl Action!!!!!!!
Scruffy: Step back Que Pasa!!!!! (Shoots the rocket and it bounces off of Edwardo, landing on Nemo yet again) Damn, well the shockwave will kill him! (Edwardo feeds and humps happily with no effect) Damn you you stupid monkey! (throws a grenade next to him, blows up, killing Nemo yet again, but not affecting Edwardo). Defective Grenade, Defective Grenade!!!!! Master Chief requesting Back-up!!!!
Que Pasa: I got it Cap'n! (throws butterfly net at Edwardo, knocking him out cold)
Scruffy: Good job Que Pasa, now bag the furry little fool!!!
*Scruffy and Que Pasa board the helicopter and drive back towards the ship.*
Morgan Freeman: However, at that point a giant bomb plane drives past them to drop a nuclear bomb that will wipe out the pirates and the virus.
Que Pasa: (digging through Edwardo's organs) No stop, we've found the cure!
Frzlngd: Don't listen to him! Go ahead and drop the bomb! (one of the pilots farts) Not that bomb, the big one with the fancy name! Those pirates tore apart my sexy monkey!
Morgan Freeman: The bomb ship continues on its course.
Que Pasa: No, you must stop! (makes a big long dramatic and touching speech about the thing that was cut so there'd be more time for gratuitous sex scenes) And that's why you shouldn't drop that bomb. Whoo, deja vu.
Pilots: Hell no!
Scruffy: I'll give you each a hundred bucks.
Pilots: Deal.
Frzlngd: Morgan Freeman, you still have control of the story, make them drop that bomb!
*Everyone looks anxiously at Morgan Freeman, or at least in his general direction since he's a voice)
Morgan Freeman: ...The bomb plane drops the bomb...
Que Pasa: No!
Frzlngd: Yes!
Scruffy: No!
Stampede: No!
Siren: No!
Mini-Myself: (beats a PSP game) Yes- I mean no!
Morgan Freeman: ...but the bomb misses the ship and destroys an orphanage.
Que Pasa: Yes!
Scruffy: Yes!
Stampede: Yes!
Siren: Yes!
Mini-Myself: Yes!
No Name: (constipated again) No!
Scruffy: Everyone, we have the cure!
*Que Pasa runs in and dumps a bucket of leeches on everyone, curing them all. They all go to dance in the sunshine. Elsewhere, Frzlngd confronts Morgan Freeman.*
Frzlngd: You didn't hold up your end of the deal! I'm giving these pictures to the Pornographical Enquirer!
Morgan Freeman: I don't think so. I have a tape that will make you think otherwise.
Frzlngd: I don't like where this is going... (the tape plays)
[tape/]
*Frzlngd lies shirtless in bed.*
Frzlngd: You done yet? Come on in, don't be shy.
*Nemo walks out of the bathroom wearing a monkey suit.*
Frzlngd: (pops wine bottle) Oh momma.
[/tape]
Frzlngd: (grunts while his duck quacks and walks away)
*Morgan Freeman starts looking through paperwork for a few hours.*
Morgan Freeman: Why's this still on? Oh yeah, I forgot to say "The End". (says that)
Epilogue-
*All the pirates are celebrating when they notice something.*
Que Pasa: Hey, where's the chef?
Siren: I'll check.
*Siren walks in on Lupine while he's naked. She screams as she dumps gasoline on herself, sets herself on fire and jumps out the window.*
Lupine: (shouts out the window) I was in the pool!!!! There was shrinkage!!!
Scruffy: Our ship doesn't have a pool. Just a helicopter pad, a medical center and a golf course.
Untitled
by No Name on November 23, 2005
*The crew....is having a pinic*
Siren: Wow guys I'm glad we had some time to spend together now I can talk to you as a women and tell you all my needs and desires!
All the guys: NO!!!!
Siren: Okay, look! First off, that ship needs a woman's touch. Okay, second of all my room needs to be bigger, third you guys don't pay enough attention to me, when's the last time you said I was pretty....blah blah blah...
Cap'n: My ears are going to start bleeding!
*Nemo blows up*
Stampede: Abort MISSION!
*Que Pasa takes out self destruct button*
Que Pasa: WAFFURUUU! *sobs* I've....I've failed you! WHYYY-U!
No Name: No Que Pasa you can't, being bulimic isn't your only option!
Edwin: Yeah...we like you for who you are, not who the media portrays us to be...
Dreamer: Well guys what about me?
Krazy: It's always MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA!
Cap'n: I believe that we all can learn a valuable lesson from this....
No Name: Cap, the episode isn't over yet....you don't say the morale just yet.
Cap'n: Whoops....damn...
Director: CUT! Look Brad Pitt *looks at Cap'n* I don't think that you're really fit for this part....It's not me....it's you..
Brad Pitt: Don't you mean it's not you..its me?
Director: No, no.
Brad Pitt: Ouch!
Director: I...I need a cast that are bonded together....one that....will fit the part perfectly!
*GCPA ship crashes on the set*
Mr. T: Dammit fool! I told you fool don't make a turn at Dick's House of Cock! Fool!
Cap'n: Whoops!
*Director looks at the ship and makes that little square thing with his hands...*
Director: The cheek bones...the facial structure....my god they're just the people to play the roles of the YELLOW PASTRY SEA THIEVES CREW!
Director: You! *Scruffy looks around and points at himself* No baffoon, not you! *points at Rosario Dawson and the crew of Rent* You look just like the type of person to play the role of Captain Monkeyman Scruffy!
Rosario: 234 HOURS 'TIL THE PREMIERE OF RENT....5342 MINTUES LEFT TO...*starts mumbling then hits a high note* ....EEEEEEE!
Mariah Carey: Oh hell no, only I can do that! *starts hitting a high note, and all dogs within the Earth's circumference start howling and then die* Beat that!
Rosario: I'll beat it alright! *Micheal Jackson walks in*
Micheal Jackson: Why can't we all just get along!
Director: You! *points at Micheal Jackson* You can play the role of Charlie in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" Johnny Depp, you're fired! *Johnny Depp goes off crying and ties a cinder block to his leg*
Mr. T: Mike, you're a disgrace to yo race...FOOL!
Mike: What's that ....dance off!!?!/!
Mr. T: Bring it on! *bunch of cheerleaders walk in*
Cheerleader: We can sew, you you know!
Que Pasa: I know this...*eats cheerleading squad*
Krazy: Ahah Que Pasa, that's the only action you'll be getting anytime soon!
*Micheal Jackson brings out MARIO DDR for the Gamecube and in the process tries to touch stampede*
*Stampede takes out gun and shoots mike's head off*
Stampede: Thats should do it...
Mini-Myself: You know Stamp, you should really go to therapy....Have you been a victim of domestic violence? Speak up...one voice...one power... "Body" by Calvin Klein.
*Micheal Jackson's head regenerates.*
Mr. T: Let's do this!
*Mr. T and Micheal Jackson face off in a dance off.*
Edwin: Man, those kids are fast as lightning!
Que Pasa: Everybody was kung-fu fighitng!
Cap'n: *Pulls out taser and hits Que Pasa with it* Relax, not now. *looks at Mr. T and Micheal Jackson* Don't you see, this is what Mr.T has been training for..all his life...it's all or nothing now...we have to support him...because we're his crew...
No Name: Wow Cap, that was deep!
Cap'n: Really? I got it from a fortune cookie.
*All the crew falls to the floor in an anime style fall*
Edwin: Leave it to Cap'n!
Beaver: No, leave it to beaver!
That Krazy Dude: AHAHA platypus! plate-PUS!
Beaver: I wont let Mr. T win!
Edwin: Why, what has Mr.T has done to you!
Beaver: He killed my mother! Raped My father! Punched my sister! And just left me there! What the hell am I not GOOD enough or what!
Que Pasa: Mr. T wouldn't hurt a fly! *looks at Mr. T trying to swat a fly and keeps missing. Mr. T then pulls out rocket launcher and blows fly up* I stand corrected.
Stampede: Mr. T is to gentle and loving to hurt anyone!
*Wavy flashback happens to a slow mo with "Just the Two of Us" playing. Mr. T is shooting a bunch of enemies, throwing grenades, showing Que Pasa how to ride a bike, putting a band aid on Cap's scraped knee, and shooting and more blood and more exaggerated violence.*
Stampede: I stand corrected.
Beaver: Wow, so you're telling me that by using the ramen function of all non-trivials of zero equal to the zeta function..We can create negative energy density to keep a wormhole open...?
Edwin: Yeah, it's the law of equivalent exchange! Duh its not rocket science....amateurs!
Morgan Freeman: Mr.T is sweating, and in the process somehow both of them managed to get bruised up and beaten and ripped their clothes like in DBZ. Both of them are breathing heavily....their legs are cramping...their senses are becoming dull...only the one who has the will and determination will rise to the top. Go speed racer GO!
Micheal Jackson: *pant* *pant* I can't take it any longer....*collapses* Tell Martha Stewart......she's...weird... *flips his hair and an army of kids come out of the floor and take Michael away*
Mr. T: That'll teach you, I gotta have my pops!
Cap'n: You did good T...you dun good...
*Cap'n and T hold hand and walk away toward the sunset*
Mr. Malk: And thats why the movie industry hates the army so much! Now back to the lesson on 5.2 WHICH IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON IN US HISTORY 1! *bell rings* AW DARN! * throws marker at wall and in the process impales Nemo*
The end
*credits start rolling*
Jason Alexander as Captain Monkeyman Scruffy
Alex Borenstein as Que Pasa
Captain Betty as No Name
The lead singer from Avenged Sevenfold as Stampede
Darren as Edwin
Edwin as Mini-Myself
Taye Diggs as Mr.T
Ashlee Simpson as Siren
Penelope Cruz as Dreamer
Jesse McCartney as That Krazy Dude
The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Thanksgiving Special: Mr. T's How Bill Gates Stole Thanksgiving
by Scruffy, Que Pasa, That Krazy Dude, No Name, Stampede, Lupine and Jebus on November 26, 2005
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