Gamehiker Member OG 8 Page 3

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Author: Golem

***

~Donkeyman encroaches on Sapphire's personal space with every mad swing he takes. She backs up step by step, parrying each blow.~

Donkeyman: I loved you! What happened to you?!

Sapphire: What are you--

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: Was the one lifetime of happiness not good enough for you?

Sapphire: Actually--

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: I gave you everything! ~claymore strike~ The Mariorockses provided you with whatever pampering you needed! ~claymore strike~ I waited on your hand and foot non-stop! ~claymore strike~

Sapphire: I really--

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: But what REALLY makes me burn--

***

Siphnaaron: GRA-HA-HA-HAAAA... I FEEL... POWER... ~grows another half a Vorpal tall~

Masamuria: ~wearing a quiver full of swords, ready to shoot a sword with his/her/its bow~ I don't know if I can get a clear shot without harming AaronGuy!

Misty: So?! No one cares if you shoot him!!

~Siphnaaron shoots a tendril at Masamuria, who instantly releases the sword from the bow. The sword slices right through the tendril, splattering black pudding everywhere. None of the OGers are hit, but it does touch some walruses in the area. In the meantime, Vorpal leaps up and takes a swipe at Siphnaaron with his sword, but Siphnaaron catches the sword. The sword is engulfed in flames, and Siphnaaron lets go, dropping Vorpal--still clutching onto the sword--to the ground.~

***

Sapphire: ~sigh~ What really makes you--

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: I was GETTING to that!! What REALLY makes me burn is how you were such an INGRATE ~claymore strike~ after I brought you back into the world ~claymore strike~ of the living! After a person comes back to life, they don’t realize the gift they’ve been given… or perhaps they do... they want to wring every last drop out of life that they possibly can, and don’t care who or what gets hurt… it seems to be a symptom of utter fear of death. Their fear of death--driving them to get as much out of life as they can with total disregard for others--overrides any love they might have been able to contain.
This is, of course, why my cruise ship is such a success. If anyone could remain true, it would be you, but…

~Sapphire parries yet another strike. Against the force of the claymore, she digs her heel into the ice.~

Sapphire: I’m not whoever you think I am. I’m a princess, my lineage is well doc—

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: Maybe I just wiped your memory and sent you to the household of King Periwinkle!!

~claymore strike~

Sapphire: …King Blue. My father is—

~claymore strike~

Donkeyman: Whatever! ~claymore strike~ You’re close enough... I will take you in memoriam of her.

~Sapphire tries to lower herself, bending at the knees to change the center of balance of Donkeyman’s claymore. As she does so, she still holds her parasol up. Then, without warning, she knocks Donkeyman’s left foot out from under him, kicking it away. At the same time, she has one hand gripping each end of her parasol and jerks her arms up in order to throw Donkeyman over her. This fails, though, and jerking her arms up causes her to push her parasol to its breaking point—it splits in two under the force of Donkeyman’s claymore.
Cue slow motion mode.
Scrambling, she uses the hook on the end of her parasol’s handle to yank the claymore up and away from her while she tries to sidestep the sword. The handle provides a momentary delay but breaks almost instantly. She then claps her hands over the flat sides of the claymore and tries to push it away from her body while she continues sidestepping. She finally gets her body out of the way of the sword and quickly releases her grip on the sword, getting her arms out of the way of it as well. Donkeyman’s sword, along with Donkeyman, crashes into the ground, cracking the ice. End slow motion sequence.

Golem, finally back from wherever Sapphire launched him to, jumps on Donkeyman, causing the ice under him to completely break, and bounces right off onto safe land next to Sapphire. Donkeyman hits the water.~

Golem: I got here just in the nick of time, eh Sapphire?

Sapphire: . . . .

~Donkeyman continues to sink, plunged into the icy depths.~

Golem: If he wasn’t a villain, I’d be morally concerned about what just happened! But quick, we have to go help out the others!!

~Donkeyman, claymore in hand, swims towards his heart.~

***

~Captain Ditto expertly exchanges blows with Fred, Lupus, and Roy.~

Roy: All three of us combined can’t take him?!

Lupus: Do you find it suspicious that Ditto apparently was murdered, but then it turned out he wasn’t?

Fred: Yeah. Right around the time when Donkeyman shows up!

Lupus: And who happens to be an expert at resurrecting the dead?

Fred: Donkeyman, of course!

Roy: Should you two even technically know that?

Lupus: Word gets around. And then he gives out V-Watches, which happen to be the key to defeating black pudding!

Fred: Great timing! And then Donkeyman’s heart is made of black pudding? What’s the deal with that?

Lupus: I do not know, my friend! I truly do not know!

Fred: I guess he is just Captain Coincidence!

Roy: It’s a shame the V-Watches broke before the battle with Donkeyman’s heart began!

Lupus: Hey, what are you doing?

Roy: What?

Lupus: You’re horning in on our quirky dialogue!

***

~Sapphire and Golem finally reach the others, who are battling Siphnaaron—and barely holding their own.~

Masamuria: Hey! Do you two have any ideas?

Sapphire: It hates loud noises!

Masamuria: Vorpal! Tell her!

Vorpal: ~sweating, nervous laughter~ What? Tell who what?

Masamuria: If you tell Misty, she might shriek loud enough!

Masamuria: Vorpal, what am I talking about? What do you have to tell her?

Author: Vorpal

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