The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA Chapter 3

Chapters in The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Chapter Three: Mithos Strikes!

Author: Scruffy and GORE-ILLA

(Scruffy and Que Pasa are relaxing on the ship while staring at the sky.)

Captain Scruffy: I'm bored.

Que Pasa: I'm First Mate Que Pasa of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada.

Captain Scruffy: (laughs) Let's go and rescue a hostage for money and fortune!

Que Pasa: Right here and even right now?

Captain Scruffy: Yes!

Que Pasa: What's the mission, Cap'n?

Captain Scruffy: Save the silver chicken taken prisoner by Mithos and take him back to his home.

Que Pasa: Where is this Mithos?

Captain Scruffy: On the far side of the Orion Galaxy. We're going to have to use the ship's boosters to get to him.

Que Pasa: I'll pack my bags.

Captain Scruffy: Me too! (after 3 hours of packing) Damn, my bookbag wont close!

Que Pasa: Wait, why are we packing? We're not even leaving the ship.

Captain Scruffy: Dunno, but we just wasted three hours doing so.

Que Pasa: I forgot my toothbrush anyway. Let's jet! (pegged with tomato)

Captain Scruffy: Haha, you got pegged! (gets pegged with a watermelon)

*The Golden Cheesecake soars into space.*

Captain Scruffy: So, beautiful day we're having, ain't it? (stares into darkness of space)

Que Pasa: Funny how we have perfect oxygen and gravity considering we're standing on top of a ship in outer space.

Captain Scruffy: Hey, you're right... Wait, you're right! QUE PASA!!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE IN A SPACE MUSEUM!!!!!!!!!!

Que Pasa: WHAT?

Captain Scruffy: WE NEVER LEFT EARTH!!!!!!!

Que Pasa: Oh no!

Captain Scruffy: (actually pushes button for boosters to come out) Put this rebreather on! (throws Que Pasa a rebreather)

Que Pasa: *puts this rebreather on* Cap'n! We're being followed!

Captain Scruffy: Damn, by who- or, by what?

Que Pasa: Gangsters riding space bikes!

Captain Scruffy: Damn, shoot them! Take 'em out! Use the machine gun mounted on the starboard side! I'll try to lose them!

Sarah: I smell gangsters.

Captain Scruffy: Sarah, what's she doing here?

Que Pasa: It was a hallucination you imagined from stress, obviously man wow! *tosses a banana at one of the bikes, causing it to catch on fire and explode* Into the asteroid field, we'll lose them there!

Captain Scruffy: alright! (sharp left turn)

*The ship is bombarded by asteroids and recieves heavy damage*

Que Pasa: Whoops, we're a bit too big.

Captain Scruffy: Damn, I'll go into that cloud. Wait, are there clouds in space?

(The ship hits something- a huge, floating angelical castle)

Captain Scruffy: I think we're here.

Que Pasa: Ooh, a gift shop!

Captain Scruffy: (while Que Pasa is in gift shop) Oooh, a silver chicken! Wait.... chicken... silver .............QUE PASA GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!

Que Pasa: (runs out) Hey Cap'n, look what I got! (waves a Millenium Keychain)

Captain Scruffy: Quickly, put that away and chase that midget!!!!!!!!

Que Pasa: What midget? Darren?

Captain Scruffy: No, Mithos! (points to little midget pulling a cage with the silver chicken in it)

Que Pasa: *blasts Mithos with a cannonball* Done like dinner!

(The smoke clears, and Mithos is still alive.)

Que Pasa: Impossible.

Mithos: Fools, my magic powers are beyond anything you could ever imagine!!!!!!!

Que Pasa: I love you.

Captain Scruffy: What the .........

Announcer: This word has been cut out as it may be to graphic for people's moms to handle.

........To be continued

Author: That Krazy Dude

In the meantime, Lupine, That Krazy Dude, Stampede, and even Jebus all struggled to get Salama back into his cage.

Stampede: Why won't you get back in! Damn it!

Lupine: Damn it! He bent the bars so the door's smaller.

Jebus: Great. Now he can't fit through the door.

Stampede: Dude...can't you use your God-like powers to solve this problem?

Jebus: Can't. I need a while to regain my power.

Lupine: Gay.

Salama: Yay! Now you guys will never be able to put me away. NEVER!!!

That Krazy Dude: Oh yeah? Let's see if I can't take care of that!

That Krazy Dude picks up a bottle of cleaning liquid.

*Heavenly light shines down on Krazy Dude, and the sound of angelic singing comes out of nowhere. Krazy Dude looks around, wondering where the noise came from.*

Krazy Dude: Anyway...*puts cleaning liquid on bar handles*...taste pine sol you fat fiend!

Salama: Okay! *eats cage*

*awkward silence*

Jebus: You ate the cage?!

Lupine: Why God! Why!?

Jebus: God says that you have to do some things for yourselves sometimes.

Lupine: Dammit!

Krazy Dude: Now what are we gonna do? There's no way to confine this fat, man-demon!

Salama: Hey! Screw you!

Stampede: Aw man!

Jebus: This is really gay.

To be continued...or will it?

Author: GORE-ILLA

Scruffy: What's going on?

Mithos: You fools! I have the magical ability to make people of any gender, size and shape fall desperately into love with me. Defend me, dear!

Que Pasa: Yes! I will protect you!

*Que Pasa shoots some nose-cannonballs at Scruffy.*

Scruffy: First mate? How could you do this?

*Que Pasa draws his pen and slashes towards Scruffy, who blocks just in time with his sword. The fight continues on until they tumble into a volcanic crater. Scruffy steps backwards as the angry Que Pasa approaches.*

Scruffy: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!

Que Pasa: Well you failed me as a captain.

Mithos: Excellent, Que Pasa! Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any pirate!

*Elsewhere at the Golden Cheesecake, Salama is now held on a leash made of Elvish rope. He rolls around in agony.*

Salama: IT BURNS!! CURSED ELVES BURNSES US!!!

Krazy Dude: Shut up you. Now what?

Lupine: We appear to be in some outer spacey place. Looks like Scruffy and Que Pasa went on another quest together.

Jebus: Putting them together is dangerous. I don't think the boy can handle it. I don't trust him.

Stampede: Whatever. Let's go out and find our captain and first mate.

Lupine: No... I have a better idea! (grins deviously)

*The banner of Captain Monkeyman Scruffy is taken down... and replaced with the flag of Captain Lupine Shadow. The Golden Cheesecake blasts off from the Orion Cluster under their new leader.*

Author: Lupine

Lupine: Ahhhh, captain life is good! :: he says this while still cooking:: Now we are off for adventure!

Somewhere in the deepest reaches of space.....

Mithos: Muwahahahahaha, now I have this fool under my power! I shall rule the universe!

Scruffy tries to ignite into flame but fails because he had just fallen into a random puddle of water.

Scruffy: Shit!

Meanwhile, back at the ship....

Raccoon: Must kill Lupine. Must.....kill......stopped....me from rummaging through garbage!

That Krazy Dude overhears the plot and decides that he must warn the captain, but slips on the unremoved remains of Cosby and is knocked out cold.

Meanwhile, Stampede and Jebus try to get Salama subdued and at least stop him from eating the ship and all.

Jebus: And to think he is this way all because Que Pasa ate his sub five years ago!

Stampede: Yeah, I remember back then!

Meanwhile, Lupine is still cooking but is sneaked up on by a shadowy figure..... is it Cosby, Wally, or perhaps even....................your mom?

Find out next time!

Author: Krazy Dude

A figure taps Lupine on the shoulder. He turns around to see...a giant, talking piece of spam!

Lupine: Oh my God!

Spam: Luuuupiinnne!

Lupine: What do you want from me!?

Spam: Luuuupiiiinnne!

Lupine: I didn't do anything wrong!

Spam: Luuuupii...

Lupine: I don't know what you want, but whatever it is ...

Spam: SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME TALK YOU damn ASSHOLE!!!

Lupine: Oh...my bad.

Spam: Lupine! You will go back and get Captain Scruffy and Que Pasa!

Lupine: Hehe. Sorry spam, but I'm the captain now.

Spam: What!? I'll kill you!

The piece of spam reaches into Que Pasa's sword sheath which was laying on the counter for some reason, and pulls out a pencil to attack Lupine.

Spam: Die!

Lupine: No!

Lupine ducks, and suddenly the giant piece of spam collapses.

Wally the Raccoon is sitting at a sniping spot and shakes his fist at Lupine.

Wally: Damn! Missed!

Spam: Lupine! Go back and get them, or be haunted by my fellow foods....

Lupine: God no! I must get them!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Back in the volcano, Scruffy is forced to the edge of the cliff over the lake of lava.*

Que Pasa: End of the line, "Cap'n". You could join us and achieve power beyond your wildest dreams.

Mithos: Yes, and you may learn my secret dance techniques. Ballet is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural.

Que Pasa: Is it possible to learn this power?

Mithos: Not from a straight person.

*Scruffy turns around and sees the Golden Cheesecake drifting towards him.*

Scruffy: There is only one Lord of the Dance... and he does not share power! You will remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Monkeyman Scruffy!

*Scruffy backs up off the cliff and turns to fire as he lands into the lava. The fire field keeps him safe until he can climb up the Golden Cheesecake's lowered anchor back onto the ship.*

Lupine: Welcome aboard... Cap'n.

Scruffy: What the hell did you do while I was gone?

Stampede: Looks like we have other things to worry about.

Mithos: After them, my love slave!

*Que Pasa hops across islands of rock after the ship, firing various cannonballs as he flies about.*

Lupine: That midget's magic is strengthening him!

Jebus: Let me take care of this. EXORCISM!!!!

*A bolt of lightning slams into Que Pasa. He wakes up looking relatively normal.*

Que Pasa: What happened?

Mithos: Huh? How as he left my spell? Impossible!

*Salama is fired out of the ship's huge-ass cannon and crushes Mithos, but the chicken is safe. Stampede pulls it back with a grappling hook before Salama can devour it.*

Scruffy: Well, mission accomplished! Now let's head back to this chicken's home.

Stampede: Sir, have you forgotten? We have to meet with some potential new crewmates in a few hours.

Scruffy: Ah yes, then we must double our speed! To Earth!

Chapters in The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7