Gamehiker High University 3 Page 1

Pages in the Gamehiker High University 3 Archive

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Author: Masamune

Ah. It is that time once again. With Spring Break over and old injuries mysteriously forgotten about, life returns to normal in the peaceful city of Rocketville. But though life has returned to normal, the ever impending doom of Finals Week lingers over the heads of the unfortunate students at GHU. It is now only a single day away...

~The scene begins at Golem's house on a Sunday Afternoon, where he's on his computer while talking on his cell phone~

Golem: Sorry Tobias, but I've got a final project, three final exams, and a five-hundred page paper to write this week. I can't do a party at least for another two weeks. Yes... I know going to school is for losers. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Bye.

Moondo: Heeeeeey WASSUP!? *suddenly jumps out from behind Golem*

Golem: ACK! Idiot, what the heck you doing!?

Moondo: Hm. Looks like little brother is busy studying.

Golem: I thought you were at your dorm still.

Moondo: I was, but Professor Spikey hasn't been seen the entire year, so us University Students have been chilling and I thought, "Why not come home and see the family" so here I am!

Golem: But I've got to study and-

Moondo: *sticks head out window* HELLO MR. MUUUUUNEEEEEEEY!

~Next door... Headmaster Mune is dressed in a casual... suit, while carefully weeding his garden~

Headmaster Mune: Don't... acknowledge... him...

Moondo: *climbs out the window and leans up against Mune's fence* How's it hanging, Muney? Giving lots of detention?

Headmaster Mune: For your information, Mr. Moondo, we've all been in Mexico for the past week. And everyone received a full month of detention... to begin in the fall semester.

Moondo: Yeah yeah, how come you never come to the University Wing? Didja know Professor Spikey hasn't shown up to teach a single class at all?

Headmaster Mune: Is that so. In that case we'll just have to integrate the college courses with the high school courses for Finals Week.

Moondo: Yeah well don't worry- wait what!? You can't do that, Muney! It's supposed to be easy street! None of us have studied a single thing the entire year!

Headmaster Mune: Then you better start reading. Now get off my fence before I release the hounds.

-------------------

GAMEHIKER HIGH UNIVERSITY 3
FINALS FINALE!?

-------------------

~The first day of Finals Week, First Period... Kongoly~

Professor GORE: Remember punks, I want those Final Projects in at the end of the week. It should be gold, six feet tall, and be a perfect likeness of Donkey Kong. Just make them exactly like those statues I showed you on eBay.

Kester?: Do we get to keep them afterwards?

Professor GORE: I'll keep your FACE. OH.

Tyler: That's a no, then.

*bell rings*

Professor GORE: And remember, if you see Professor Luigi, do what the sign on his back says!

~the students all rush out of the room in a hurry, leaving behind a cloud of dust~

Professor GORE: *wipes tear from eye* They all grow up so fast.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Theme song begins. Shots of Golem, Sapphire, Toby, Moondo, Elzie, Kuria and I dunno Steve hanging out on a street curb.*

When it's Greg Meets World!
Greg Meets World!
Wandering down this road that we call life
Is what we're doing!
Good to know I have friends who will always
Count on me!

*Shot of Toby ditching Golem with two girls in his arms*

When it's Greg Meets World!

*Cartoon of Golem with sunglasses holding back the Earth with his foot.*

*Golem and Toby are studying for the next test, Mariology with Headmaster Mune.*

Golem: Since when did Headmaster Mune teach classes?

Toby: Always. Didn't you get the memo?

Golem: Look at him there. (they look out the window to where Headmaster Mune is trimming his bushes next door) Not a care in the world while we're here studying ourselves to death.

Toby: I hear he never missed a day of work ever.

Golem: Fine then, Tobias. We shall wish upon a star that Headmaster Mune will be too sick to come to school tomorrow!

Toby: Hey, I'm the one who proposes the wacky ideas. You'll have to run it past my secretary.

Golem: I hear Lupus got a personal secretary.

*Tyler is crossing the street when Lupus shoves him across to the sidewalk.*

Lupus: I just saved your life. You owe me, now become my personal secretary for a week.

Tyler: No that's outrageous what did you save me from?

Lupus: That car.

Tyler (points) That car? That parked car? That parked car that doesn't look like it was going to move any second now? And thus poses no harm to me at all? Thus my life was not endangered and thus your offer is not valid and thus go away?

Lupus: It was swerving right towards you!

*Suddenly, the car explodes.*

Tyler: What's your first order, sir?

Lupus: (grins, exposing all teeth)

*The next day at school, Flutter and Al are huddled by Al's locker.*

Flutter: What did you have to show me?

Big Al: Hang on...

*Al makes sure no one's looking, then opens the locker and reveals a makeshift crib with a baby inside.*

Flutter: What is that thing?

Big Al: That's the Canadian Baby. Remember, we helped to deliver it? Problem is, I forgot to hand it back to its parents. The only natural thing to do is raise it as my own inside of my locker.

Flutter: Better hope Mr. Roper doesn't find out.

*Later, the group heads to Headmaster Mune's class, only to find... A SUBSTITUTE.*

WanderingShadow: Hi, I'm Mr. Shadow and I'll be your substitute teacher today.

Lupus: (having his shoes shined by Tyler) What's this what's this, there's something in the air!

Golem: I did it! I made Muney sick!

WanderingShadow: It says here you're scheduled to take your finals today. Is this correct?

*Yami opens his mouth, but everyone covers it and Toby speaks up.*

Toby: Why no, you must have gotten incorrect info. We had our finals last week. Today's PARTY DAY!

WanderingShadow: Let me hear it from the prep kid.

Yami: (looks around from one kid to the other, then takes off his glasses) IT'S PARTY TIME!

WanderingShadow: Alright then, I have some classic Nintendo systems to play, and detailed information on all of them if you want to listen!

Moondo: (peeps into the classroom) MYOOO-NAY! Hey MYOOOO-NAY! MUNEY MUNEY MUNEY! ...Hey where's Muney?

WanderingShadow: He's extremely sick.

Golem: Extremely?

Headmaster Mune Apparition: That's right. Mr. Livingston I presume?

*Golem turns around and sees Headmaster Mune's Apparition.*

Golem: Headmaster Mune? What are you doing here?

Headmaster Mune Apparition: Only you can see me, Golem. After all, you killed me. (throws a cupcake at Toby)

Author: Luiigii of the Jerks

~The next day, the school manditorily attends Headmaster Mune's funeral.~

Father Vorpriest: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this body in holy matrimony with the ground. Let us all pause to--

Toby: Stop reading from the marriage section you hack!

Father Vorpriest: WHY YOU LITTLE-- ~jumps over the chairs and strangles Toby~

~Golem scoots a chair away from Toby to avoid the struggle and accidently sits on Headmaster Mune's apparition... or in it, anyway.~

Golem: You CAN'T be dead! I thought you were immortal or something.

Headmaster Mune's Apparition: Yeah, well, that didn't count for slacker children wishing on a star for me to die.

Golem: I said get sick! Not die!

Headmaster Mune's Apparition: Stars can't tell the difference, duh. And if you had been paying attention in class, you would know that.

Golem: I DID pay attention in class!

Headmaster Mune's Apparition: Tell that to my dead body.

Golem: But... but... ~starts to cry~

Sapphire: ~sits down next to Golem and puts her arms around him~ I didn't know you cared about him so much.

Elzie: ~sits down on the other side and does the same, while glaring at Sapph~ Yeah well, neither did I!

Golem: ((Holy crap, girls are touching me! Maybe this wasn't a bad scheme after all...))

Headmaster Mune's Apparition: Hey hey hey! I can hear your thoughts, Golem! Don't you dare! Keep riding that guilt trip!

Golem: ((Yes sir...))

~Meanwhile, Professor GORE and Professor Luiigii pull Vorpriest off of Toby and to the side.~

Professor GORE: All right, trogs. With Masa dead, it's clear that I must take over as new Headmaster.

Professor Luiigii: Like heck. I've done more work than the two of you combined.

Professor GORE: That is readily contested!

Professor Vorpal: ~changes uniform~ Yeah, well, I was hired first!

Professor Luiigii: Lunch woman!

Professor Vorpal: Mop kisser!

Professor GORE: Damn dirty ape! Oh, wait...

~Dark clouds roll over the sky and lightning strikes the three professors, comically charring them. A man with a donkey head walks up and casually kicks Headmaster Mune's coffin into the grave. The students gasp.~

Superintendant Donkeyman: Well, he wasn't getting any deader.

~Superintendant Donkeyman starts walking toward the three charred professors, but trips over Mariorocks.~

Superintendant Donkeyman: HEEAAAAAAADMAAAAASSSTER MUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE!

Toby: Ha ha! He shouts Headmaster Mune just like how Headmaster Mune used to shout Party Goers!

Moondo: Whoa, he still did that? Man what a loser.

Headmaster Mune's Apparition: Right right, you're only at my funeral. Keep insulting me.

Superintendant Donkeyman: As I was about to say before my stupid secretary tripped me; due to the fact that your professors are a trio of bumbling no-hopers, I'm forced to merge your school with another because I'm too lazy to find a substitute Headmaster.

Professor WanderingShadow: What about me?

Superintendant Donkeyman: Shut up you're not a real teacher.

GM: Oh god, he's going to merge us with St. Ditto's. Then we'll have to go to classes with Marin!

Tyler: But we'll get to see Hooded Figure again.

Lupus: Secretaries don't talk.

Tyler: Sorry sir.

Superintendant Donkeyman: No no, St. Ditto's is in a league way way waaaaaaay above yours. Anyway, your new superintendant is over there. The creepy guy in the black trenchcoat that's been staring at you from a distance ever since the funeral started.

~The students all turn to see a creepy guy in a black trenchcoat that's been staring at them from a distance ever since the funeral started. And he has a red goatee.~

Superintendant Donkeyman: That's right. You are now joining Headmaster Same's all-girls-but-three school. And no I don't care that you also just merged with your college level students yesterday to almost triple your population. Come, Mariorocks! ~stomps away~

Mariorocks: Why coitently!

---

OoC: I've got dibs on Headmaster Same's Kirbology professor.

Also, Rebe doesn't work there.

Author: Masamune Murasame

You lamer. I'm not creepy.

---

*The next day, that loser Golem and his idiot friend Toby go to their school. But it is no longer their school...*

Hillbilly Jenkins: Haw dang! Ah gots me a protrack-tor! Nows ah can farm them fields agin!

*The school has been filled overnight by a hick couple and their 1,000 children. Golem and Toby sadly walk next door, to MURASAME'S SUPREME SCHOOL aka MSS! It is now homeroom, Headmaster Same presiding. The GHU students are packed together in Headmaster Same's office like stinky sardines, and one of those adjectives is actually true. The sardines one. Notably absent are SteveT, Big Al, and Flutter. On the wall above Headmaster Same is the mounted head of Headmaster Mune's secretary, Dodo. And now, Headmaster Same speaks.*

Headmaster Same: As you all don't know, I am Headmaster Mune's brother. *smokes a badass glass pipe made from the ashes of Headmaster Mune's tie* I also don't take the kind of crap he does. Capital punishment is WAY in.

Lupus: Whatever.

*Headmaster Same leaps over his desk and punches Lupus in the face.*

Lupus: *grabs his face* Ah geez! *turns to Tyler with a fresh nose bleed* Why didn't you jumb in da way?!

Tyler: I was busy typing, "Whatever."

Lupus: Accebtable den.

Headmaster Same: Get to your classes before I throw up from all the loser-ness in here.

*The students leave, totally respecting Headmaster Same's awesomeness.*

Sapphire: I hate that guy.

AaronGuy: But what can we do about it? Golem had to go and kill Headmaster Mune.

Golem: I didn't--!

*Anyway, way more interesting stuff is happening in Headmaster Same's office still, as he gathers the GHU professors unto him.*

Headmaster Same: Yeah so, you guys will still be teaching your old classes. I'll just rearrange the curriculum. And our staff meetings are every day during lunch.

Professor Luiigii: How was this way more interesting than the students bad-mouthing you?

*Headmaster Same punches Professor Luiigii in the nose.*

Headmaster Same: Any more stupid questions?

*Meanwhile, in Big Al's garage...*

Flutter: *grabs a microphone and plays some rippin' chords on his bass guitar* Hello Big Al's garage clutter! We are WATER ON THE ROCKS!

*Big Al and Flutter rock it out while SteveT sits in a corner and mopes. They eventually stop and confront him.*

Flutter: Dude, WTF? I thought you were heartless and stuff.

SteveT: I just don't understand why she would dump me for that scrawny kid what's-his-face.

Big Al: Golem?

SteveT: Golem's aren't scrawny.

Big Al: This one is.

*The Canadian Baby starts crying from inside Big Al's house.*

Big Al: Craaaaaaaap! I gotta go check on the brat. Guess practice is over.

Flutter: We're late for school anyway. And since my Tercel is in the shop, we'll never make it in time.

*They suddenly hear a car horn and run outside. One of those sweet new Camaros they're making next year is sitting by the house. In the driver's seat is an animate chain mail bikini, with a circlet to identify where the head would be, gauntlets, and steel boots.*

SteveT: Hummina...

Animate Chain Mail Bikini: Hey, I'm LisaL. I go to MSS and I heard you guys were transferred there. Want a ride?

Flutter: Pssh. My Tercel is way hotter than that--

SteveT: *grabs Flutter's beak* Hell yes we do.

Big Al: Hey! No language in front of my Canadian Baby!

Author: Vorpal

*Toby and Golem are walking down the hallway to class*

Toby: Dude, do you realize that this school is full of chicks?

Golem: I keep hearing that, but I still don’t ever see any.

Headmaster Mune’s Apparition: *grumbles* Good riddance!

Golem: Are you still here?

Toby: Of course I’m still here!

Golem: No, I meant… never mind… here’s the room: Retro Handhelds 101

*They walk into a class full of giggling girls*

Golem: Woah.

Toby: Dude.

Headmaster Mune’s Apparition: *gags*

*They take seats at the front of the class, the only two seats free, Headmaster Mune’s Apparition just kinda floats there*

Golem: Are you ever going to leave?

Headmaster Mune’s Apparition: I dunno… I’ve never been DEAD before! I don’t know how it works.

Toby: Golem, with all these girls, you know what you should do?

Golem: What?

Toby: You should totally throw a party! There’s enough chicks here for us each to have like… five!

Golem: No way! It’s not only a new school, but it’s finals, too! I can’t throw a party now!

Headmaster Mune’s Apparition: *nods triumphantly*

Toby: But, Golem… the chicks!

Golem: You do make a powerful argument. All right! Let’s do it!

Headmaster Mune’s Apparition: WHAT!? A PARTY!?! DURING FINALS!?!

Golem: This might be harder than I thought…

Toby: No, I heard that the professor for this class is also a chick. It’ll be a total piece of cake.

Golem: That’s not what I was talk—

*An extremely attractive professor in a white suit and dress walks in an places her glasses on the table, then she unpins her hair and lets it fall down in slow motion*

Toby: Hubba hubba! I told ya this would be easy!

Prof. Misty: I am Professor Misty, I am your teacher for Retro Handhelds 101. I want to welcome our students arrived from Gamehiker High University. Now let’s get down to business. POP QUIZ! *hands out a 20 page “quiz” to every student* You only have thirty minutes to complete this, I want the rest of the class period for lecture.

Entire class: *groans*

Author: Fred

(The girls in the class quickly get to work, as the GHU guys look around worriedly. One in particular raises his hand)

Yami: Miss! Miss! The students at GHU haven't covered this material! There's no way we can-

(Misty walks over and picks Yami up by the ear and then drops him on the ground.)

Misty: I hate bratty teachers pets.

(Another student puts up his hand. This time, it is the rich kid.)

Fred: I'll give you a hundred bux (har har) if I can get out of this. Don't spend all in one flapjack toaster commas fleecing

(Fred is also given THE PUNISHMENT.)

Misty: I hate you snide rich twerps!

Golem: Toby, no!

(Toby pantses the teacher in the middle of the test. Five minutes later, the class is the result of a hurricane of rage. Misty holds Toby by the neck out the window, while the other class members pile up sandbags and barbed wire)

Chizu: ... you get used to it. You should see her when she's having her period.

Golem: Really?

Kaleena (YES AN FFOG2 CHARACTER HA HA HA): No, maybe that wouldn't be best. But I forget.

Elzie: How can you forget?

Sapphire: move over, I'm trying to see what happens to Toby!

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Toby: Eyyyyyyyyy Professor, chill. Just trying to lighten the mood with that sexy bod of yours.

Professor Misty: *throws Toby at his desk* How DARE you! *storms out*

Zora: Maaaaan! Don't you know? Professor Misty is a feminist!

Lupus: REAL-ly? *runs to the door* I guess that's what happens when you let women vote! *turns around to dozens of glaring eyes* Err... just harshing the prof.

Chizu: Now we miss a day of lectures, and she gives us our final over material we didn't learn tomorrow. Thanks.

Yami: So you're kind of in the boat we're in?

Chizu: Shut up, foureyes.

Professor Luiigii: *slides into the room* Yes?

*The bell rings. Everyone trudges to Kirbology, held in a giant lecture hall. Professor Luiigii leads the way and sits down with them.*

Tyler: Err... what's up, Professor?

Professor Luiigii: Oh, I'm trying to get my PhD in Kirbology. Then I'll be Doctor Luiigii. And you can just start calling me such now.

*The professor enters, a brown-haired woman in a grey suit/dress. One half of her face is covered by her hair, but the other half is wearing sharp glasses.*

Professor: Hello students, as you know I am Professor Deijii. That's D-E-I-J-I-I don't spell it wrong on the resource information thank you.

Professor Luiigii: *pales*

Professor Deijii: Roll call for the new students. Let's see... AaronGuy, Big Al, Elzie Ann, Frederick von Bisquik, Gamechamp, Giuseppe Masteri, Golem Livingston, Kester?, Kuria Eiren, Lui-- *stares at the paper, then looks up* Oh dear.

Professor Luiigii: *waves*

Professor Deijii: Ahem. Mr. of the Pipes, you are not up to dress code. Facial hair must be neatly trimmed, and I'm sure there's a rule about your nose being that big... Please go wait in the hall until after class.

Professor Luiigii: Wait, I need to take this final.

Professor Deijii: You're a distraction to the rest of the class.

Professor Luiigii: One of the students is a FREAKIN' FLOATING BIKINI.

Professor Deijii: And now you're using inappropriate language.

Professor Luiigii: But--

Headmaster Same: *cuts in via intercomm* Attention students. I regret to announce that we will be adding a Sex Ed. class to the curriculum due to some particularly sexist activities and comments made by certain non-students named TOBY and LUPUS toward our own Professor Misty. Feel free to thank them later. Anyway, you'll all have to come in half an hour early for it, and it'll be taught by Professors Deijii and Luiigii. Good day.

Professors Deijii and Luiigii: Oh snap...

Author: Chibi Tohru-Chan

*The next day really early for the new class*
Deiji: Since Mr. of the Pipes and I can’t seem to agree on teaching methods we’re just going to show you all the dreaded Sex Ed Video.

Everyone: Nooooooooo!

Deiji: Silence! *pops in tape*

*In the back of the room Golem watches the film in horror*

Golem & a girl sitting in the back with him: Gaaah!
What?!
Eeep!
...ewww…*blushes in embarrassment*
Ack!

*after noticing that they’re not alone in their screaming at the film they turn to each other*

Girl: Hey, we’ve been screaming everything in unison! Neat!

Golem: Uh…yeah. *thinking: Ugh it’s so early in the morning to be having this sort of class…hmm look at all these girls I’m surrounded by…and they’re talking to me…hey maybe this isn’t so bad.*

*screen flashes new images*

Golem & girl: Eeeek!

Girl: Heehee! See? (Very Happy)

Golem: I don’t even know why we have to take such a course. And at finals time!

Girl: Yeah we have enough to study for! … Ah anyway, I’m Chibi!

Golem: I’m Golem.

*Toby pops up from behind them*

Toby: Hey Golem we need to find a location for our party. How about your house?

Golem: What?! No way! The police have me on radar now from the last party we threw there!

Toby: Man you’re no fun… *eyes Chibi* Let’s have it at her house! Yeah it’ll be perfect! Chicks will totally trust going to another chick’s house! Then there’ll be tons of them!

Chibi: *blinks in confusion* Umm… how about not?

Toby: *ignoring Chibi* Yes, yes this will be great! Where do you live?

Chibi: I’m not telling you!

Yami: We could always look in the directory.

Toby: Great idea! Sometimes you can be helpful!
So where’s this directory?

Chibi: Like I’d tell you! *thinks*
(speaking thoughts out loud: ) Actually it’s at my house. But you’re not getting it!

Toby: Well then we’ll just have to stalk her after school! She has to go home sometime!

Chibi: Whaaaat?!

Golem: *blinks in confusion*

*after school Chibi is walking home and is being trailed by a large bush with feet walking in the middle of the sidewalk behind her*

Chibi: *turns around suspiciously* Stop following me!

*Toby, Yami, and Golem jump out of the bush*

Toby: How’d you know we were here?!

Chibi: I have excellent detective skills. Not to mention that all you’ve been doing is hiding in that same bush the whole time & walking behind me in it. Come now, bushes don’t walk or grow in the middle of the sidewalk!

Toby: Foiled again!
… So can we still see where you live?

Chibi: No way!

Toby: How about now?

Chibi: No!

Toby: What about now?

Chibi: No!

Toby: Now?

Chibi: *ignores him*

Toby: Now?

Chibi: Grrrr.

*suddenly a large dog comes darting towards everyone and knocks Chibi down to the ground*

Chibi: (while being squished & slurped to death) Ack! Heehee. You came to greet me!

Yami: If that’s her dog then her house must be near here! Dogs need fences so which house has a fence?

Golem: *points to the only house on the street with a fence* Over there?

Toby: Yes! We found it!

Chibi: Nooo! You can’t throw a party at my house! My parents will kill me!

Toby: It’ll be fine! You’ll see!

*As Toby and Chibi argue Golem notices Mune’s ghost hovering above them*

Golem: What are you still doing here?! Can’t you just haunt me at school?

Mune: Of course not. You killed me, remember? I have to follow you everywhere--ghost rules you know.

Golem: I didn’t mean for you to die! I’m so sorry!

*everyone else starts to take notice*

Toby: … You okay dude?

*Chibi looks on in confusion & sympathy*

Golem: Nnn-nothing…

*While everyone else is still arguing Golem sneaks off a bit to talk to Mune’s ghost*

Golem: Seriously, why are you here?

Mune: I have to prevent this party of yours. I could never do anything before but since I’m a ghost, I probably have powers of some sort. Plus you can’t have that many *shudders* females…in one place…*shudders again* I simply won’t allow it.

Author: Fred

Headmaster Mune: Maybe it's like ghostwriter! (His ghost flies to the wall and attempts to handwrite but it comes out really badly and it looks like the wall is bleeding his message)

Golem: I don't think it's like Ghostwriter.

(SteveT and the other jocks drive up beside the four of them)

SteveT: I heard there's a party going down at your house, Chibi. Pretty, uh, "rad". Scratch that. There's gonna be water and Flintstones vitamins there, right?

Chibi: Uh, um...

Golem: Leave her alone!

Yami: You can't even ingest those things, you're solely mineral-composed.

Toby: How the hell do you know about the party already?

SteveT: I'll be there fashionably late, at 7PM. Don't dissapoint.

Flutter: Yeah!

Big Al: Do I get to say anythi-

(The car drives off and SteveT's helmet falls off. Flutter drives it back and Al picks up the helmet and reattaches it and they drive off again)

Chibi: Oh, noooo.... This can't be happening!

Golem: What's going on?

Yami: How late is "fashionably late" for SteveT?

Toby: No... NOOOO! How could this happen, Golem?

Golem: I don't know, wait, what are you sad about, Toby?

Toby: We stalk her to her house and plan this huge surprise party at her house, and we're already outdone! How did SteveT know this was the place, anyways? How could this happen....? I've failed you all as a bad influence.

Yami: There, there, it's-

Toby: Don't touch me.

(Suddenly, a burly College man walks up to the group, alongside Moondo.)

Golem: Oh no, not HIM.

Rival: Looks like we beat you losers to the punch!

Chibi: But why my house?

Rival: I overheard you planning this, so I decided to go out of my way and come up with it first.

Moondo: Sorry, Golem. There's not much stopping him once he gets an idea in his head.

Chibi: Don't say sorry to him...no offense, Golem... but you guys are trashing my place!

Rival: What a shame.

Golem: (thinking) well, at least I don't have to worry about headmaster Mune...

Mune's Ghost: Of course you do! There won't be any fun if I have anything to do with it! You're breaking that party up!

Toby: You better watch it, pal. We're going to set up a party to knock your socks off.

Golem: Hey, now, Toby-

Toby: And it's going to be at YOUR house, you whackjob.

Rival: Good luck finding out where I live, twerp.

Moondo: I don't even know where he lives. I suspect he's a hobo that just stays at a different party every night of his life.

Toby:...Golem's place.

Golem: Come on.

Toby: Then it'll be at...I don't know. But it's gonna be way better than yours!

Rival: Well then, bad luck to you. I must be off.

(Rival and Moondo take off, Moondo kind of looking back apologetically)

Chibi: Wait, if your party is good enough, I won't get in trouble! Woo!

Yami: Your chances of sucess are (types into a calculator) 0%. Oh, I had it in radians. Your actual chances of sucess are -1%.

Toby: I like those odds.

Golem: Oh, no, no, no, no. (his face is even whiter than usual, and he cringes with the others as they hear:)

Headmaster Mune's Ghost: PAAAAARRRRRTTTYYYY GOOOOOOERRRRRRSSSSS!

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~Lupus, Gamechamp, Tyler, and GM strut through the halls to Kongology. Vivid appears at the other end of the hall and starts toward them. She is dressed... like a girl OMG!~

Gamechamp: ((Vhat vhat vhat?!))

GM: Hey, if it ain't Vivid. We heard about you being a girl from Kester.

Tyler: Is this where ol' dead Muney sent ya?

Vivid: I have a confession, guys. Kester... died over summer break.

Gamechamp: ~sweating... or maybe sveating~ She kill'd Kvester!

Vivid: ~grabs Gamechamp by the neck~ No YOU did! I disguised myself as Kester so I could keep going to GHU, but that facade is needed no longer! ~tosses Gamechamp aside~ Just wanted you to know that your little friend is murdering alien scum, Lupus! ~storms away~

Gamechamp: Xenophobe!

Lupus: Dude, was that true?

Gamechamp: Errr, neinyet. Vivid is clearink de liarfirepants. If I really kill de Kvester, why not he be callink policeymens on me?

GM: You said "he" by accident.

Tyler: Twenty-one words and that's all you found wrong?

Gamechamp: No accidente. Vivid is much liar. He pretendink be a kirl, just like he pretendink I kill Kvester.

GM: Why pretend to be a girl?

~They turn simultaneously and watch Vivid walk into the ladies' restroom as some generic students walk out wearing only towels. Lightbulbs appear above their heads.~

Tyler: This so goes against our philosophical awakenings in the last OG...

GM: Shut it.

***

Professor GORE: Hurry up, Mura. My class starts in five minutes.

Headmaster Same: ~puts out a cigarette in Professor GORE's eye~ It's Headmaster Same. And we can't start the meeting until every Professor is here.

~Aside from GORE, Professors Vorpal and Misty are in Headmaster Same's office.~

Professor Vorpal: ~blushing~ Hiiiiiii...

Professor Misty: ~rolls her eyes and turns away~

Headmaster Same: I've sent my secretaries to "extract" Luiigii and Deijii.

Professor GORE: Extract? Why?

Headmaster Same: Don't you know? Luiigii is Deijii's husband.

Professor GORE: You mean ex-husband.

Headmaster Same: ~sharpens a pencil in GORE's other eye~ No-oh. I say what I mean.

Professor GORE: Huh, not what he told me... Well, what about your third Professor? The Professor none of us have met who I'm probably supposed to introduce?

Headmaster Same: I'll leave that to you. (This has not been a subtle demand for GORE to post. Oh wait, is has.)

***

~Professors Luiigii and Deijii are laying in a cot in the teacher's lounge.~

Professor Deijii: So who's this mop I keep hearing about?

Professor Luiigii: I told you not to listen to GORE.

Professor Deijii: I meant this Rebe girl.

Professor Luiigii: Dunno. When I first got my temp degree, I was teaching Arithmetic at Gowling Breen and she was in the class. I've only run into her once since then, and it was at the Big Game so I couldn't actually hear what she was saying...

Professor Deijii: Oh... so what's arithmetic?

Professor Luiigii: This bizarro subject with numbers... kinda like Brainageology, I guess.

Professor Deijii: Speaking of subjects, I'm sorry about what happened in Kirbology the other day. I was just... surprised to see you again.

Professor Luiigii: And angry.

Professor Deijii: Very.

Professor Luiigii: Can I make up the final, then?

Professor Deijii: Well...

~Krunk bursts into the room.~

Krunk: GAH! KRUNK IS BLINDED! BLINDED!

Snipes: Oh ssshut up you wh--Holy ssshizzle! Murasssame didn't prepare usss for thisss!

Krunk: BLINDED!

Professor Luiigii: We're fully dressed. Look... ~grabs the blanket~

Snipes: Keep thossse coversss right where they are, beardy boy. Krunk, you take one ssside, I'll take the other.

Krunk: DOES KRUNK GET TO CHOOSE WHICH SIDE?

Snipes: Of courssse not.

~Krunk and Snipes grab the cot and carry it to Headmaster Same's office. Hey, I think a scene like this happened in Boy Meets World as well...~

---

You are now free to gag.

Author: Golem

OoC: Workin' around this apparently GORE-centric teacher...

~Tyler and GM wait with other students outside of the room where they have Kongology.~

GM: Where's Professor GORE?

Tyler: I dunno.

~Ten minutes later and Tyler and GM are the only ones left.~

Tyler: We should find him. Maybe he's in trouble!

GM: You're right! We should check Mura's office first, that guy seems shady!

~They dash off to Mura's office on a mission. They peer in to find something they didn't expect...~

GM: Oh. It's just a faculty meeting.

Tyler: That's not exciting at all.

GM: Wait, a faculty meeting during class?

Tyler: Didn't everybody else leave school before Kongology should've started, too? I saw Toby and some guys following Chibi out of the school with a bush while we were on our way to class.

GM: That's good enough for me. I'm out of here.

Tyler: Wait, maybe Mura will do something menacing soon!

~Tyler looks through the window eagerly. GM looks at him and then the window for a minute.~

GM: ...Seeya tomorrow. ~walks away~

~7 PM, just outside Chibi's house.~

Toby: Here's the plan, Golmeister. We start from the back of her house, at the opposite end from where the jerk's party is starting. We then recruit party goers and eventually take over the house from his grasp.

Golem: Oh man, Toby. Seniors take the class on tactical RPGs and RTSes, and I'm just a sophomore! Speaking of, I really need to get to studying! I don't think I can--

Toby: That's the spirit, Golem, just go and get 'em!

Golem: This doesn't even make sense, we'd be using bathrooms and bedrooms and closets maybe? But point being--

~Toby picks up Golem and hurls him towards the door. Rival opens the door to let Golem in. Golem picks himself up, and looks around, while Toby steps in. The party Rival has set up is fantastic; the room is filled with lively dancing college kids enjoying the latest dance tunez and whatnot. The lights are off and the room is lit solely by a rockin' disco ball.~

Toby: Well, let's get going to the other end of the house to show 'em what you got!

Golem: The SNES I brought to brush up on Kirbology? ~points to his backpack~

Toby: Sigh... we can probably pillage from Rival's party if we get desperate.

Golem: Where is Chibi, anyway? Or her parents?

~Toby and Golem mobilize to the other end of Chibi's house as Fred shows up.~

Fred: Yes, mmm, I'm here to show up that snot-nosed Golem kid. He's been a plugged-in toaster in my bathtub for far too long.

Rival: You sound like the kind of kid we could use around here. Golem's setting up some sort of wimp convention at the other end to try to take over this pad, but obviously nothing's going to stop this party. I even took care of that Chibby girl.

Fred: ~now tossing a grapefruit up and down in his right hand~ Perfect, perfect. Now, do you have a quarter for the fan blades?

~Meanwhile, up on top of the roof in a lawn chair...~

Chibi: Um... so the stalkers didn't hear me... I guess my cries for help should be louder.

OoC: It might seem a bit early to have a party, but there need to be finals, right?

Author: Chibi Tohru-Chan

*On the roof*

Chibi: Help me!! Please!! Someone! Anyone! Please help me!!!!!!

*Down on the ground*

*Chibi’s dog hears he cries with his super awesome dog hearing and darts over to start barking at the roof*

Toby: Alright, we might not have much entertainment but this party will still be awesome!

Golem: What’s that barking noise?

Toby: I dunno. It’s really loud and annoying though. Definitely not helping the party atmosphere.

Golem: *looks around* Hey, isn’t that Chibi’s dog?

*they go over to the dog, who’s still barking furiously at the roof*

Golem: What is it?

*the dog stomps his feet and tries to jerk his head upward*

Golem: Up there? What’s up there? I don’t get it.

*the dog growls & continues to try and tell them to go up*

SteveT pops up: Only one way to find out! *tosses Golem up to the roof*

Golem: Aaaaaah!!! Noooooo! *crashes* Oof!! Owww….

Chibi: (Shocked) Golem?!

Golem: Oh hey it’s you! (Smile) That explains it.

Chibi: Hooray! You can save me! (Smile)

Golem: What happened?

Chibi: I wouldn’t let Rival and his minions enter the house so they broke my door down, tied me up to this chair and then super glued it to the roof so I can’t get down. I’ve been shouting for help ever since but the music prevented anyone from hearing.

Golem: Oh. Wow. Well your dog heard it at least.
*as Golem frees Chibi*

Chibi: Thanks! J
Grrr those meanies! I can’t believe they’d barge into a stranger’s house and then kidnap them!
And why can’t any of you guys have a party at your own house?!

Golem: Well the police are suspicious of my house. Huh and I never thought to force Toby to have it at his house.

• Down below Toby searches for things to make Golem’s party way better than Rival’s*

Toby: Ooh yeah! This will do! *rummages through Chibi’s house* We’ve got video games! Yeah!

SteveT: What about this? *holds up something else entertaining*

Toby: Perfect! This party will be awesome! The chicks will totally come here!

*suddenly there’s a large gust of wind that knocks Chibi and Golem off the roof*

Golem and Chibi: Waaaaa! Ack! Oof!

Mune’s Ghost: There’s no way you’re having this party!! Either of them!! But especially yours paaaaaarrrrrrrttyyy gooooeeeeerrrrrrsssssss!!!
Ha! I told you I had ghost powers! (Very Happy)

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~At roughly 9 pm, the professors are still standing/laying in bed in Headmaster Same's office. The final professor enters...~

Professor Lila: Hi. Sorry, I was busy conducting THE AFFAIRS OF AN ENTIRE PLANET. It sounds so cool when I shout it like that.

Professor GORE: Who is this hot yet presumptuous woman that stands before me?!

Headmaster Same: Now that we're all here, let me hand out your curriculums for today.

Professor Vorpal: Today is over.

Headmaster Same: God you GHU professors are gluttons for punishment... ~grabs Vorpal and caber tosses him into a trophy case~ Anyway, Superintendant Donkeyman is coming for his annual-by-annual inspection. I want this place to look good and hellish when he shows up tomorrow.

Professor Misty: You want it to look good... and hellish?

Headmaster Same: ~offers Misty a lollipop~ No.

Professor Vorpal: How come you caber toss me but--

Headmaster Same: ~throws an anvil at Vorpal~ Well, what are you all doing here at midnight? You've got to come in at six tomorrow.

Professors: ~groan and leave~

Headmaster Same: ~glances over at Luiigii and Deijii, still in the bed~ What?

Professor Luiigii: Huh... this is kind of awkward.

Professor Deijii: Remember that time we sat up all night and talked about our feelings?

Professor Luiigii: I try not to.

Professor Deijii: And you told me--

Headmaster Same: ~plugs his ears and walks out~ And I thought I was a master of torment...

Author: Golem

~Back at Chibi's...~

Golem: There we go, got all the consoles set up. NES, SNES, N64, and Gamecube, each hooked up to a TV.

Chibi: You'll put all the TVs back where they were, right?

Toby: I guess.

Golem: We're all set to study for Kirbology.

Chibi: Oh, you're studying for that too?

Golem: Yeah, I was about to go over Kirby Super Star, do you--

Mune: Stop! Right there! This is a setup for a party, isn't it?

Golem: No, for the millionth time, I'm studying!

Mune: Studying, eh? Is that what you call playing video games?

Golem: All the classes I take are on video games!

Chibi: Um?

Toby: Don't worry, it's probably just some mental complex. He's been talking to our old principal in his head ever since the principal died. Perfectly normal stuff.

Author: Timnis

[Timnis, a freshman from GHU, is walking down the street by himself]

Timnis: [thinking out loud to self] Man, I dunno about this new school. Everything's been so crazy... Ah well, at least it's nice and peaceful out here in the evening...

[Timnis hears the thumping music and the shouts of the people from the party at Chibi's house]

Timnis: What's going on here?! [reads a sign in front of the house announcing the party] When finals are coming up? What are they thinking? ...Ah well, might as well check it out, see what's up... [turns baseball cap forward, tilting it low over eyes]

~back in the party~

Golem: Wait... why are we trying to study here? It's hard to concentrate when there's a party going on.

Toby: We're gonna take over this party, remember?

Chibi: You're... Oh, no... When my parents come back...

Toby: Don't worry! We'll have those guys out of here in no time! Then it'll be a real party!

Chibi: [sigh]

~near back entrance~

Timnis: [looks around] Hmm... [goes up to random person] Excuse me, could you tell me...

Random person: [doesn't notice him there]

Timnis: Agh, just as I thought... [spots Golem and others] Hmm, maybe they could help me.[/i] [walks over to where they are]

Toby: So then I was thinking... What?

Timnis: Hey. Kirbology, huh?

Golem & Chibi: Uhh... Yeah...

Timnis: I always thought that looked interesting. But anyway, any chance you could point me toward some snacks?

Toby: That's it! We need snacks!

Timnis: Hmm, well, thanks anyway. [sits down on chair near the corner of the room]

Golem: Who is that guy? I've never seen him around school before, as far as I remember... [turns to Chibi] Is he a MSS student?

Chibi: I've never seen him before...

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