Gamehiker High University 3 Page 2

Pages in the Gamehiker High University 3 Archive

1 - 2

Author: Director

*A man knocks on the door*

Chibi: MORE people!

Golem: Whos there?

???: Im doind a documentary on your school, and I need a video on study habbits, lemme in.

Golem: Well I-

*The man burst the door down*

???: WELL, this is some rowdy studying.

Golem: No see here Mr.- hey who are you anyway?

???: My names Director but you can call me..... Director.

Golem: Isnt that redundant-

Director: Shuddap. So what classes do you take Mr. Golem?

Golem: Well I take Kirbiology and-

Director: WONDERFUL, now get your girlfriend over here!

Chibi: I AM N-

Director: Whats your feeling on GHU?

Chibi: Well its nice, but some of the students-

Director: You kids do not fulfill my Directing needs, I shall depart to steal files from GHU.

*Director leaves*

Golem: Who the hell.... why the hell-

Mr. Tohru: We're home Chibi!

Mrs: Tohru: Did you miss us?

Chibi: Gyaaaah, everyone out!

Toby: We have this covered! Don't worry.....

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Mr. and Mrs. Tohru-Chan enter the room. All the party-goers have ducked into hiding all around the house.*

Mr. Tohru-Chan: Ehh? Chibi, what is the meaning of this?

Chibi: Uh...

Mr. Tohru-Chan: You should be in bed now! Go!

Chibi: Oh sure, good night! Oh... and I think you left your car lights on!

Mr. Tohru-Chan: Come Nameless Wife, let's check that out!

*Mr. Tohru-Chan and his wife start their way towards the door and notice a suit of armor.*

Mr. Tohru-Chan: Ah, our antique suit of armor is still in good condition! Expect a raise in your allowance!

*The Tohru-Chans step outside. Immediately everyone springs up from their hiding places and begin dashing for the door. The suit of armor's helmet is taken off to reveal SteveT underneath, wearing the armor.*

SteveT: So this is what it would be like to live inside myself.

*SteveT clunks out, while Chibi hurredly puts the suit of armor back together. Outside, Toby and Sapphire are detoured by Golem.*

Toby: Geez man, are you okay? You look spooked!

Sapphire: Yeah I feel like being your girlfriend at the moment.

Golem: Come on... we've got something to take care of!

*They all quickly arrive at the graveyard, and Golem begins digging while Toby and Sapphire just sit around.*

Toby: C'mon dude, this is Dullsville with a hint of creepiness. Let's just find a new house and keep the party train rolling!

Sapphire: I dunno, this is going better than most of my dates.

*A loud scream is heard from the bottom of Golem's pit. Toby and Sapphire slide down next to him and see Headmaster Mune's coffin. Headmaster Mune's empty coffin.*

Golem, Toby and Sapphire: (long pause, followed by a perfectly-synchronized scream)

*GM is walking alone through the streets.*

GM: Damn I'm tired. All these late night spying missions with Tyler are taking their toll.

*A man in a trenchcoat appears.*

???: I have something that can help you stay awake.

GM: ...I'm listening...

*The trenchcoat produces a container of pills and hands them to GM.*

???: This is all you need.

*GM grabs the pills, then looks up to say something, but the trenchcoated figure is gone. In an alleyway, the trenchcoated figure disposes of his diguise to reveal... Superintendent Donkeyman!*

*At Big Al's place...*

Big Al: Lo, this child must have been a blessing from above. I must contemplate this in my journals.

Flutter: Yeah... hey, dat's no baby!

Fred: (emerges from carriage) Wait one second, this isn't my personal limo! Have I been shanghaied? You won't get my Fruity Pebbles this time, Barney!

Big Al: Don't tell me...

Flutter and Big Al: (look at each other in shock) WE LOST THE BABY!

*Back at the university, Headmaster Same slips past Luiigii and Deiijii, who are somehow still there, and pulls on a hidden switch to open a passageway. He strolls down the staircase until he finds a room where a sickly Headmaster Mune is strapped to a table.*

Headmaster Mune: Ugh....

Headmaster Same: Now now, Masa old boy. Are you ready to tell me the location of Dad's secret gold mine?

Headmaster Mune: Bite... me...

Headmaster Same: Fine then. Let's see how long you last without your medications! Maybe you'll be more talkative then. ...Who's there?!

*Tyler turns and runs off.*

Author: Timnis

~back at the grave site of Headmaster Mune~

Timnis: [arrives shortly after the loud scream] Whoa, hey, what's up? What are you doing down there?

Golem: Headmaster Mune's body is gone...

[Golem, Toby, and Sapphire realize that someone else other than one of the three asked the question and is standing above them]

Sapphire: [quietly] What's he doing here? Do you guys even know him?

Timnis: What do you mean? We all know each other! Anyway, what was that, Golem?

Golem: This is where... Wait, how do you know my name?

Timnis: Alright, are you guys all in on this joke?

Toby: What joke? This isn't funny to me.

Timnis: Anyway, enough of that. What did you say about Headmaster Mune?

Golem: He died... for some reason I'm completely unaware of... But what's it to you, anyway?

Timnis: Oh, come on. He's fine! He's just a little sick! Just a little cold is all it is.

Sapphire: Don't joke like that!

Timnis: I'm serious! It's nothing big!

Sapphire: How do you even know him anyway? Who are you?

Timnis: Come on, it's me, Timnis!... Wait, are you serious?!

Toby: [in a matter-of-fact tone] Never seen you in my life.

Timnis: Wait a minute... Oh, man, the Chronology test! I must not exist here! This can't be good...

The three: Chronology?!

Timnis: Yeah, Professor Vorpal's class?

Golem: He's never taught... What was it? Chronology?

Timnis: [starting to panic] Alright, alright.... This can't be too bad, can it? Oh man, it's pretty bad.

Toby: Wait, what exactly is going on?

Timnis: I'm not from this dimension. I know you all in another dimension. A parallel dimension.

Author: Golem

Golem: Oh, wow!

Toby: Are you... on... it?

Golem: Whuh?

Sapphire: That's my guess, too, Toby, but he doesn't exactly smell like it. His brain could simply be fried without the aid of drugs.

Timnis: I'm not on anything! I took Vorpal's Chronology final today. Vorpal gave a very stern warning: "Beware. If your score on this final falls below a 70, you will experience a thing... that's important and not good..." I thought I knew Chrono Cross inside out, but... oh man!

Golem: So in your alternate universe, finals are a week early? Man, I love this universe!

Timnis: Guys! You gotta get me back! I can probably get back there if I take the Chronology final again!

Sapphire: No one teaches Chronology.

Timnis: What? It comes right after the Tactics final.

Golem: Eh?

Toby: Man, your school has some dumb and boring classes.

Timnis: It's not so bad! We even have a one-semester Kingdom Hearts course for anyone who's got a light-hearted side.

Toby: Hoo boy, you're just tempting me to punch you right now...

Golem: Well, Vorpal teaches Obscure Video Game Knowledge, could you take that final instead?

Sapphire: There's something more important going on here. Remember Headmaster Mune?

Author: Masamune

Golem: We'll have to do something about it tomorrow. If my parents catch me out late...

Sapphire: Fine, well I'm heading back to my place.

Toby: And I'm going with her! Yoiks!

~Meanwhile, Tyler is tripping through town in a panic. He bumps into GM, who has a pill in his hand that he's about to take~

GM: Whoa! *drops the pill* What the hell!

Tyler: GM! Ohshrackohshrackohshrackohshrack....

GM: Dude. Dude! Chill. What's wrong?

Tyler: It's Mune!

GM: What about him?

Tyler: He's still alive!

GM: ... okay. Now you're just being weird. Where did my pill go? *looks around and sees his pill. He's about to reach for it, but a at scurries up and eats it.* Aw! See what you did!

Tyler: Uh... what are those pills?

GM: Some nice man with a donkey for a head gave it to me.

Tyler: And that's not at all suspicious?

GM: Well uh...

~suddenly the rat sprouts a mustache~

GM: Er.

Rat: Why coitenly! *scampers off*

Tyler: That is the second most terrifying thing I've seen all night.

GM: *points past Tyler* Maybe this will be the third.

~Tyler turns around and sees Krunk and Snipes holding menacing weapons~

Snipes: Why sssssso sssssseriousssss?

Krunk: GROWL.

Tyler: Shall we run and scream?

GM: Oh, let's.

~GM and Tyler take off running and screaming as they're chased by Same's henchmen~

---The next day, in Mariology...---

Professor Wanderingshadow: Hm. It appears both GM and Tyler are absent today. Has anybody-

~a scaly hand reaches in the door and hands over a message~

Professor Wanderingshadow: A... ha. It appears they have an excused absence. In that case, let's begin your exams. Any questions before we begin?

~a hand pops up. It belongs to one of the girls~

Red Ivy: Yeah. Uh. What? Mariology was never in our studies...

Yami: But it was in ours! Score!

~the girls, minus the GHU three, glare at him~

Professor Wanderinshadow: *coughs* You may now begin your test. You have one hour.

--One Hour Later--

Yami: I feel good about that test!

Chibi: Not me... I think I bombed it. Was Mario ever in a Picross game? What IS Picross?

Kuria: Well at least I know I'll do great on the Retro Games test next block.

~Sapphire and Elzie both glare, they are about to say something, but are interrupted by...~

???: Well well well! Look who it is!

Elzie: Eh?

Chibi: Oh... it's the MSS Boys.

Sapphire: Who?

Chibi: Rocky, Retro, and Jed.

~the girls look up and see three guys walk out. They look exactly how they do in other OGs, only as teenagers. And more punk-y! And Xtreme, maybe~

Jed: And don't forget it!

Sapphire: *smirks* So... what, you're our counterparts then?

Retro: Heck yes we are! We got the numbers of every girl in this school... except for you three of course.

Elzie: *chuckles* How cute. *narrows eyes* Now go drop dead.

Jed: Hey hey! Why so serious, hey? We just figured we'd show you what real MSS girls are like!

Kuria: We're GHU girls, thankyouverymuch.

Retro: Yeah but-

Rocky: Quiet, bros. *turns to Kuria* You know Professor Vorpal, right?

Kuria: Uh... a bit. Just from class.

Rocky: Yeah... sure. Listen. I saw him eyeing Professor Misty.

Kuria: Who what now?

Rocky: Yeah. He had that look in his eye. Like Jed and Retro here.

~Jed and Retro have that look in their eyes~

Rocky: See? I want you to tell the old man to cut it out.

Sapphire: Why should you care? She's just your professor.

Rocky: I'll have you know she has a thing capes, shades, and spiky hair.

Elzie: Uh, isn't that the exact outfit that Professor Vorpal wears?

Rocky: Exactly! That poser is pushing in on my territory and I ain't gonna take it.

Kuria: Darn right you're not gonna take it!

~everyone stares at in her in shock~

Kuria: I mean... Misty's your girl! Vorpal can't come between that.

Rocky: Yeah... yeah that's right!

Kuria: And we gotta stop it!

Rocky: For sure!

Kuria: Let's go!

~Rocky and Kuria march off with determined looks in their eyes~

Jed: *blinks* So... uh, about those numbers?

Elzie: No.

~Jed and Retro march off dejectedly~

Sapphire: Hey, didn't that Rocky guy seem familiar. Wasn't he at the funeral?

Elzie: Hmm... maybe. Must just be a coincidence though.

Sapphire: Yeah... must be... *stares off into space*

Elze: What's eating you?

Sapphire: I gotta go see Golem. *darts off*

Elzie: Grr... oh no you don't! *grabs Yami as he's walking by* C'mere!

Yami: Buh?

Elzie: You're buying my lunch.

Yami: I am?

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~Last night~

Headmaster Same: ...Who's there?

~Luiigii and Deijii drop into the room carrying a pair of mops.~

Professor Luiigii: We are! We're here to save Headmaster Mune!

Headmaster Same: ...Why?

Professor Luiigii: I dunno. There had to be SOME reason we stayed in the school all night.

Professor Deijii: It's not like there's anything else to do but sleep, right?

Professor Luiigii: Yeah. And I know Headmaster Mune will make it worth my while...RIGHT?

Headmaster Mune: You're not getting a raise!

Professor Luiigii: Good enough for me!

Headmaster Same: Ah, but you're forgetting, my dear Luiigii. If you free my brother, he will reopen his school and you will be separated from your wife once more. And rest assured, I will instate 24 hour work days, seven days a week for all teachers!

Headmaster Mune: No fair! I was so going to do that two years ago!

Professor Deijii: Can I quit?

Headmaster Same: Not in your contract!

Professor Deijii: Here's what I think of your contract!

~Deijii swings her broom at Headmaster Same, but Luiigii catches it.~

Professor Luiigii: No, he's right. I'll not lose you again.

Headmaster Same: But since you've both assaulted me already... ~pulls a fire alarm while wearing imitation Deijii fingerprints~

Professor Deijii: My spotless record!

Professor Luiigii: They can't soil your record if they can't catch you!

Professor Deijii: Yes they can.

Professor Luiigii: Enough! I won't let you get your hopes down! We'll have to go on the lam, like Bonnie and Clyde! ~grabs Deijii and jumps through a window~

Luiigii: See? I'm already prepared!

Deijii: Oh Luiigii!

Headmaster Same: ...Stellar staff you got there, Masa.

Headmaster Mune: Yeah, sorry about that...

~The next day~

~Luiigii and Deijii are replaced by Professor Neini and Professor Smash Brother. Headmaster Same makes his way to the MSS Kindergarten branch and walks up to one girl. He hands her pictures of Luiigii and Deijii and an excused pass.~

Headmaster Same: Hunt them down and do you what you must. No one must know of Excalibur's treasure. Can you do that, sweetie?

Kiki: Sure Grandpa.

Author: Kirby of Death

*in the Woods*

Luiigii: Being on the lam isn't that bad. We have a fire, food, and BOOZE! *holds up large bottle that reads "Booze" with pride*

Deijii: *snatches bottle from him and narrows her eyes* We can't afford to have you drunk in case someone comes after us.

Luiigii: Fiiiine... *sigh* I'm gonna miss that place, so many fond memories

*screen gets all wiggly and into a flashback with Luiigii sitting at his desk, minding him own business when GORE walks up and drops a piece of paper onto the desk*

Professor GORE: Just dropping off the latest memo.

Professor Luiigii: *reads* ...All it says is TO: Luigii, FROM: GORE, DATE: Today, SUBJECT: My Fist and then the message just reads "Your Face". *Luiigii looks up only to be greeted by GORE's ape fist* Gah, why did you do that, GORE?!

GORE: *shifts eyes* Um...... I am the Night! *jumps out of window*

Luiigii: Hm. *takes a sip from his concealed flask and continues going about his business.*

*Back to reality*

Luiigii: Yep... good times.

Deijii: ...Just put some more wood on the fire.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Professor Luiigii and Deijii continue being trapped in the woods and shivering. Suddenly they are interuppted by a roaring noise.*

Deijii: What is that noise?

Professor Luiigii: (sighs in recognition) Oh no...

*A pickup truck tears through numerous trees before settling to a stop before Luiigii and Deijii. GORE sticks his head out the driver's window.* Professor Luiigii: Can't you just leave us to die in peace. Professor GORE: No can do! I need your help! Just get in! Deijii: Are you sure we can trust him? Professor Luiigii: Even if Same spoke to him, GORE would deliberately do the opposite of his orders. I guess we have no choice. <nowiki>*Soon Luiigii and Deiijii squeeze in, and the pickup truck roars off.*

Professor Luiigii: Now what the hell do you need my help for?

Professor GORE: The women of my dreams, Professor Lila. She told me to bring a friend to play pool with her. I decided to choose you so that she'd be won over by how awesome I am compared to you.

Deijii: Lila! That woman boils my blood. I'd like to shove that pool stick-

Professor Luiigii: ...Why would she ask you to bring a friend on a date?

Professor GORE: Technically, she requested a two-on-two match... between me and a friend... and her and her... boyfriend.

Deijii: That whore.

Professor GORE: SHE IS A GLISTENING ANGEL! Now are you in, or are you in?

Professor Luiigii: I shouldn't really be seen in public today?

Professor GORE: Ah, owe money to the Codfather again? No matter, I have a foolproof disguise.

*GORE steers with his feet while tackling Luiigii over with an electric razor.*

Professor Luiigii: No, what are you doing... no- NOOOOOOO!!!!!

***

*Professor GORE walks into the bar with Professor Luiigii, who is now completely bald and beardless. Then Deijii enters wearing a wig with dreadlocks sown together from Luiigii's hair.*

Professor GORE: If anyone asks, you're Professor Telemundo and his rich foreign wife Glorellica.

Professor Luiigii: Shut the hell up!

Deijii: There she is now! Lemme at her!

Professor Luiigii: Calm down and vent your anger into hotwiring GORE's truck.

Deijii: (tosses arms into air hopelessly and walks off)

*Professors GORE and Luiigii go to one side of the table, where Professor Lila and Dean Ditto wait.*

Professor Luiigii: Dean Ditto?!

Dean Ditto: Hello, hello, hello. Wait I'm not a Count Olaf parody in this continuity.

Professor GORE: (whispers to Luiigii) He's the man I admire most! How can I get with her without tearing the poor man asunder?

Luiigii: How the hell should I know?!

Professor Lila: Are we gonna play pool or what? This is valuable time that we could better spend making out!

Professor GORE: ...Fine. Let's do this!

Pages in the Gamehiker High University 3 Archive

1 - 2