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Author: GORE-ILLA

Fred: I will take the Ring to Mordor!

Lithium: Stop that. We'll bring the droids for backup. Anyone else wanna come?

Sir Sur: Nah, I'm cool.

Wesus: Get me a Snapple while your're up!

*So Fred and Lithium bring a squad of yellow-armored Cheesetroopers down towards the Acme Cheese Star Powering Unit.*

Lithium: I think we have a bit too many people just to check onj a powering unit.

Fred: (shoots on of the Cheesetroopers)

Lithium: That's good. Wait, just one more.

*Each of them mans a Cheesefighter and flies outside, where they close in on Rhyk.*

Cheesetrooper 1: OMG INTRUDER!!!R

Lithium: Seek and destroy.

*Rhyk looks back at them and prepares to attack.*

Rhyk: Golem Stretch!

*A ghostly brown scarf extends from Rhyk's hand, grabbing one of the Cheesefighters containing Cheesetrooper 2, then lassoes it into the side of the Cheese Star to destroy it.*

Cheesetrooper 2: OMG ITS A TRAP!!!1

Fred: We've lost our token African American trooper!

Lithium: Transfer all power to forward deflector shields.

Fred: Who?

*Rhyk fires out two scraves now, grabs Cheestrooper 1 and 3's Cheesefighters, and smashes them both together to make a cheesey explosion.*

Lithium: Alright, this has gone on for way too long!

*Lithium hovers above Rhyk and drops a piano on his head, although he deflects it with a Sapphire Shield. Then Rhyk pulls out the Masamune Sword and cuts through several Cheesefighters.*

Lithium: These fighters aren't doing so well.

Fred: They are all cheese golems.

Lithium: Yeah, let's retreat.

*Lithim begins to fly away. Fred tries to, but he goes in the wrong direction and runs over Rhyk.*

Lithium: That works too. Let's take him in.

Author: Vorpal

Koopa Xtreme: Who is this guy *pointing to Rhyk who has been left lying in the middle of the bridge*

Lithium: Oh... uh... we found that intruder that caused the malfunction in the Cheeseray... and uh... brought him in.

Koopa Xtreme: Did you at least find out what he did?

Fred: Don't we already know?

Koopa Xtreme: No! It was revealed in an aside that we weren't supposed to be aware of!

Fred: Oh...

Koopa Xtreme: *sigh* Well could you at least move this thing to a detention area or something...

---

OOC: I remember when short posts were acceptable....

Author: Fred

BAD BOYS BAD BOYZ

(Fred and Lithium bring a staggering Rhyk to Koopa Xtreme's feet)

Koopa Xtreme: I trust you fixed the cheese ray?

Fred: Oh, you. You D. Man.

Lithium Debater: Those weren't our orders. NOW EXCHANGE THIS HAPPY MEAL FOR A SMILE YOU BASTARDS.

Koopa Xtreme: Well, maybe I'll send out my engineer. Cid! Sid! Mid! Moe!

Lithium: They're in rehab after the last twelve doses of coffee pills you made them consume in order to be on standby to fix your PSP's pixels.

Koopa Xtreme: But how? AND WHY? And when.

Lithium: Wait, if we're not in captivity, and we know that you are taking over the ship of the person we're loyal to, then...

Fred: Exactly -7. -7 up.

Koopa Xtreme: Erm, come now, there's no reason to be violent... We can work this out...

Fred: That didn't stop the '69ers from winning the superbowl through wearing high heels... IN THE FUTURE, DID IT? DID IT?

Lithium: Koopa Xtreme, what is it that you want in life?

Koopa Xtreme: More than anything else?

Fred: No. You've spent too much time thinking about it, and the penalty is-

Lithium: Shush. What is it?

Koopa Xtreme: I wanted to be a fireman! And after that, I guess I wanted to outlive Koopa I, who's still alive, I think.

Lithium: Well, IT'S NEVER HAPPENING. WE'VE GIVEN YOU A VIRUS THAT MAKES YOU FAIL ALL FIREFIGHTING EXAMS, AND WE'VE TOLD ALL FIRE DEPARTMENTS TO KILL YOU BEFORE KOOPA I DIES.

(Rhyk's programming pieces itself back together in the nick of time. Nic at nite.)

Rhyk: Urgh. The Technodome?

Bebop and Rocksteady: Yeah, we made the same mistake. Turns out it's next door.

Rhyk: Then... Unicron?

Koopa Xtreme: You were headed STRAIGHT FOR US. You're appearantely a robot. HOW IS THERE A MEMORY LAPSE EXPLAIN

Sir Sur: Ha, now we have all of you!

(Sir Sur and Wesus hold them at rubix cube point)

Fred:Don't worry, gang! I CAN SEDUCE THEM.

Lithium: That's super. Tell you what, LOOK OVER HERE!

Wesus: Wow, we are. Man, we can see you guys. Cool. BUT NOT COLGATE ENOUGH. Sir Sur, destroy them so I can destroy you while your back is turned, and then I can beat you an easily take your position. but ignore that last part.

Sir Sur: Waaaaay ahead of you. (pulls up the rubix cube to strike, but pretty much everyone in the small room are capable of disarming and beating him to death, so Rhyk takes the Masamune sword and stabs the two of them through both kneecaps, then turns to the others)

Wesus: Yow. Lemonade stand, avenge my death!

Lemonade stand: Does not compute. Does not compute YOURS! MAN! You always fall for that one.

Fred: Let's wrap up this mystery.

Rhyk: No way! I remember what I need to do! I need to destroy the OGers or Lupus. That's right. And if you fix the cheese ray, I can get both.

Koopa Xtreme: Unfortunately, pretty much everyone here is incompetent, myself included. It's so very sad.

Lithium: Aw, don't cry Koopa Xtreme, we can ram the earth. JUST LIKE YOUR HERO MONSTER MOON.

Fred: Then it's settled. We're meeting the parents.

Rhyk: I'd like to keep that to a last resort. Tell you what, Koopa, if you help me out, you can get what you want most- the destruction of the earth.

Koopa Xtreme: Well, that's third down the list, but I'm convinced. Remnants of Sir Sur, Wesus Whrist, pump up te security of this battle station, too many people are getting in, and I'm tired of the paperboy being smug and throwing us the Space Times from Saturn. He should have to get up to at LEAST Jupiter to throw it to us. Finally, Fred and LD, go on those suspicious holes in the floor.

Fred: Wait, Wynaut?

Lithium: Cheesetroopers, AT-AT THE READY.

Fred: We lost all of them.

Lithium: What, at the raid on Rhyk?

Fred: Well, yeah, because not a one of them was trained to land a lintspeed capable aircraft.

Koopa Xtreme: Look, do I question you on your methods of nose clipping? GET ON THE SUSPICIOUS HOLE AND EAT YOUR VEGETABLES.

Rhyk: You need kill either Lupus, or the OGers. I'd suggest Lupus, since there's one of him, but-

Fred: This isn't the last of us that you hear about being!

(They are dropped into the English Channel)

(Meanwhile, in the North American Turkmenistan base)

Legion: Jeez, this brings us back. Three OGs.

SSG: Yeah, this is drab. It's time we found our army and found the OGers.

(Suddenly, a huge screen turns on)

Lex Luthor: Curse you superfriends! Whoops, wrong number.

(Suddenly, Chairman Mao's Ghost appears on the screen)

CMG: It is now time to INVADE JAPAN. The JAPANese will pay for their non-recent crimes against us, and also for being democratic. ALSO FOR HARBOURING FUGITIVES THAT GO AGAINST OUR GREAT(er) RULER, Lupus the Turk! Huahahaha. Mmhm. Man, that Archie is a riot, with the paper crowned guy! Peace out.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Yami, GORE, Chizu, Kantii and Kuria/Vorpal are still in the same place they've been since they were last included in a post on the last page.*

Yami: ...So, anyone wanna play hackysack?

Kantii: Wait, we're back onscreen! That means the plot is moving!

GORE: But how? I don't see any advancements in the plot...

*A meteor falls from the sky and slaps GORE in the back of the head. GORE recognizes it.*

GORE: PL?

PL-0TT: Greetings, Master GORE. You have two messages.

GORE: Sure, but where were you all this time?

PL-0TT: Greetings, Master GORE. You have two messages.

Chizu: Is there something wrong?

*PL-0TT transforms into a tank with a crapload of missiles aimed at Chizu.*

PL-0TT: NOT MASTER GORE ACCESS DENIED!!!

*Chizu steps back, and PL reverts to normal.*

PL-0TT: Greetings, Master GORE. You have two messages.

GORE: Alright... play messages?

PL-0TT: Gladly.

*</nowiki?PL emits a hologram of Saru.* Saru: Listen, this is very important... I'm on the planet Mystery, where the're using a bounty hunter named Vlad to create a Cheese Clone Army... wait, something's wrong! <nowiki>*Saru walks off the hologram, and a Cheesetrooper appears on the screen. The hologram goes blank.*

PL-0TT: Message two playing...

*The hologram of a robed female appears.*

Princess Lila: Help me, Bat-Ear Mirawk. You're my only hope...

Author: Legion

Meanwhile, at the base hidden at the bottom of Fred's post...

SSG: Cool. I didn't know we got Chinese television.

Legion: We don't. I'm not paying for it anyway. Anyway, I've forgotten. Whatever happened to our army?

SSG: Hmm. Well, the SGEP got itself lost on a liberation expedition to Calais to buy croissants. The 9th Shysters were killed single-handedly by Ann Widecombe's face: turned to stone in an instant. And Special Ops were last seen following a creepy old man into his ice-cream truck.

Legion: Oh, joy. What do we actually have, force-wise?

SSG: Hmm. Well, we do have this video from a Veritas party conferance which has been classified as highly offensive. And we do have that crate of Worchester Sauce to use as poison.

Legion: No, as in, people-wise.

SSG: Well, there's you and me. And then we have the Special Special Ops Team. And the 11th Shypools. And...

Legion: You know what? Screw it. I'm going to go and stab random things. With any luck that should lead us to the plot of this thing. it always does.

*Legion and SSG leave to... go stab stuff. I dunno, give me a break.*

---

*Later, or meanwhile, or whatever... Anyway, at GORE's Pad*

SSG: Wait... How'd we get here?

Legion: It's the wonder of plotholes, my friend. The wonder of plotholes.

SSG: Yeah, but why are we 2 kilometres up in the air?

Legion: Don't you remember? The daring raid on the Haggis Factory owned by Old Man McGee? The Haggis Rebellion Squad? The daring escape over the Outer Hebrides in the Sheep-Mobile?

SSG: Oh yeah. That was fun. Oh look, and there are the rest of the OGers just below us.

Legion: See, I told you we'd get there eventually. Anyway, I'm sure that fate, or another poster, will allow us to walk away from this descent unscathed.

Author: Youma Ganon

Youma Ganon uses his magical powers to try and heal himself. This proves to no avail. He goes off to search for a powerful enough sorcerer.

Japanese Guy 1: Hello. I am Japanese Guy 1.

YG: VER creative.

JG1: I know it is. You created it.

YG: Do you know where I can find a sorcerer?

JG1: Why, yes I do.

YG: Where?

JG1: Well, it is a LONG trek. You must go to the land of Germania.

YG: Does it have any relation to Germany?

JG1: Well, no. It is the new name of Turkey.

YG: YOU MEAN, WHERE LUPUS IS FROM?

JG1: Lupus, why, yes. Well, this person has a similar name. He is Repus.

YG: And this is a long journey how?

JG1: Well, his whereabouts for the past 30 years are unknown.

YG falls over. Then says: Then why the hell did you tell me he was in Germania?

JG1: Because, I like confusing people.

YG wheels himself over to the Japanese guy, and strangles him. He then has a slight conscience, and puts him down slightly before death.

YG: I will let you go. If I do not find Repus within this OG, I will come back and kill you.

Author: GORE-ILLA

OoC: In case this hasn't been mentioned before, we're currently in the year 2018 here. I keep forgetting to remind people.

*Princess Lila's holographic message is still playing. All the OGers barely register her information as they're too busy admiring her beauty (even those of differant species), which is only improved by the revealing seen beneath her open robe.*

Princess Lila: General Mirawk, centuries ago you served my ancestors during the Cow Wars. Now we call upon your help again, as I am on the run from the bounty hunter Vlad for I know a secret about a massive weapon called the Cheese Star. If you want the answers to some of your weird-ass riddles, then come to me. You'll find me hiding on your home planet. Help me Bat-Ear Mirawk. You're our only hope.

*The message ends.*

Yami: Oh momma...

Chizu: She's your mother??!!

Yami: What? I think you need to learn some lessons on figurative speech, nature girl.

Kuria: What?

Yami: Other nature girl.

Vorpal: Oof, rejected!

Kuria: Shut up.

Kantii: Hmm... that beaut has all the answers to our questions, eh?

GORE: I wanna know how she came across PL. PL's acting weird, and I can't tell if this princess transmitted this message to him from afar or did the job by hand.

Yami: And why Mirawk?

Kantii: That one's simple. He was an ancient hero, and he was last seen here on Earth. She thinks he's probably still here and not baked in lava like he actually is.

Yami: Then here's a riddle for ya: where the hell is Mirawk's homeplanet?

*Everyone pauses.*

Knob: That's an easy one!

*Planet Mystery.*

Saru: Grahh!

*Saru surrounds his fists with flames and punches through Cheesetrooper after Cheesetrooper, causing them to melt on contact. Several hundred more Cheesetroopers rush out to meet him.*

Saru: Too easy. Meteor!

*Saru shoots out a huge ball of fire which flies high into Mystery's atmosphere and then drops down. As it falls it picks up more heat and grows larger until finally it lands on the Cheesetroopers, wiping them all out and leave a crater in Mystery's cheesey surface.*

Saru: That takes care of that!

????: Not so fast.

*Saru turns around and faces a man about his size with black hair and a small beard. Several spears are strapped to his back.*

Saru: Now who are you?

????: Vladmir Notavampire. Nice to make your acquaintence.

Saru: Ah, so you're the source of these Cheese Clones. Jet Stream!

*Saru extends his hands, and a trail of fire flies out towards Vlad.*

Vlad: THIS is too easy.

*Vlad takes out a special spear and extends it to the Jet Stream. The flames bounce off of the spear's tip and shoot off in differant directions.*

Saru: What? How?

Vlad: A bounty hunter never reveals his secrets. But he does get witty one-liners!

*Vlad pulls what appears to be a toothpick from one of his belt pouches, but it extends into a long spear in his hand. Vlad dives at Saru, who flames his fists and grabs the spear trying to hold it back from impaling him.*

Saru: Ha! You... can't... stop... me... now...

Vlad: Heh heh, this spear is laced with sleeping toxins. Next time wear gloves.

*Saru passes out on the ground. Vlad smirks and walks away.*

*Back in the Cheese Star's detention block, Rhyk is alone in a jail cell.*

Rhyk: (What went wrong? I saw Lithium's ship coming for me... I called out, "Vorpal Sword" and nothing happened!)

*Rhyk closes his eyes in meditation, and they snap open as he comes to a realization.*

Rhyk: (Wait... I feel the souls of Golem, Sapphire, Masamune, Ditto, Flutter, Luigi of the Pipes and Elzie Ann within me... but where's Vorpal? Could I have... lost a soul? It's possible, I know that Luigi temporarily escaped to his body sometime in the 2010's... well, there's nothing I can do now but wait and see what happens.)

Author: Yami Yoshi

Meanwhile on Mystery…

~Suddenly a beeping sound is heard, and Vlad reaches into his belt pouch and pulls out a small, disk-shaped object. Vlad places the disk onto the palm of his hand and a hologram of Koopa Xtreme appears.~

Koopa Xtreme: Vladimir! Remember, I am not paying you until I get the results I want: an unstoppable army to conquer the universe and organize my collection of Miya Shiyo DVDs!

Vlad: Is there a problem with the ones cloned from the DNA of my nostril hair?

Koopa Xtreme: Your clones have the strength of shredded cheese! I need some DNA from your…

~Koopa Xtreme whispers something to Vlad that is inaudible to the camera. Vlad looks down at his pants and angrily hurls the hologram disk onto ground smashing it to pieces.~

Vlad: You sick bastard! My leg hair?! Never!

Meanwhile on Earth…

Yami Yoshi: Watch, I bet this girl will end up being your long lost twin sister...kinda disturbing of you to be drooling over her…

GORE: Shut up! I don’t have a sister!

Yami Yoshi: You know what? You’re right, GORE. You’re much too ugly to be related to h—

~Two “THUNKS” are heard and an unconscious Yami Yoshi collapses to the ground with a big red bump on his head.~

Chizu: Geez, GORE. That was a little over-the-top…

GORE: Hey! Someone beat me to the punch!

Legion: See, I told you we would walk away from this descent unscathed!

SSG: Ugh…except I don’t think my feet should be inside my intestines…

Author: Golem

Legion: Don't be such a whiner. You'll get used to it.

PL-0TT: Plot development! I am detecting the Pearls of Mystery below us, underground.

GORE: What are the Pearls of Mystery?

PL-0TT: The Pearls of Mystery forever hang from Princess Lila's neck.

Kantii: Underground... Is she dead?

SSG: She might be hiding in an underground cavern.

Kuria: Wait... There just might be an underground cavern. I saw a man carry someone about twenty yards past me, then disappear.

~Kuria shows the OGers, including the groggy Yami Yoshi, to the spot. They kneel down and brush away plants growing over the ground and find a metallic platform.~

Yami: Looks like today's our lucky day.

Legion: Yes, but how does it operate?

~Yami stomps on the metallic platform and it collapses under him. He immediately falls through the hole in the ground left by the platform, and after a few seconds, lands flat on his face in the cavern that Fool was in before.~

Yami: ~rubbing his bulbous nose~ Ow...

~Everyone else lands on top of Yami Yoshi.~

SSG: Looks like that fall readjusted my feet.

~Everyone gets up and looks around.~

Legion: We're alone...

PL-0TT: This way.

~PL-0TT moves away from the screen towards a metal door on a flat brown wall. He opens it to find a hallway filled with jail cells. Many cells hold gaunt, weary people. The OGers follow PL-0TT as he moves through the hall. They pass EVIL Scientist Dude on the left.~

ESD: Hey guys.

PL-0TT: The Pearls of Mystery are in one of these cells.

Fool's Voice: Well, if I knowed you was gunna visit me I'd'a never bothered torturing these people!

~Everyone turns around to see the assassin, Fool, standing in the doorway to the hall. He leans against a non-metallic door.~

Fool: And you's got the soul o' Hades, to boot!

~The non-metallic door slams shut in the doorway, knocking Fool to the ground. PL-0TT is still in front of one of the cells a few meters farther down the hall.~

PL-0TT: The Pearls have been located.

Fool: You better not take not one more step there!

~GORE runs up to the cell that PL-0TT is near and puts his metallic leg against one bar and uses his metallic arm to bend the bar right next to it. Fool rushes towards GORE, but Chizu sticks out her foot and trips Fool. He falls flat on his face, similarly to Yami earlier in this post.

GORE then looks inside the cell to see nothing but a necklace made from pearls. He grabs Fool by the neck and holds him up... which has little effect, considering the shortness of gorillas compared to humans.~

GORE: What did you do with her? The one who wore this necklace.

Fool: ~gulp~

Yami: Oh come on, you're the biggest pushover ever. It just wouldn't be in character for you not to tell us.

Author: Yami Yoshi

GORE: ~shakes Fool~ Where is the girl?!

Fool: Haha…I’ll tell you once you hand over Hades’ soul…

GORE: Hades?! The Kradian commander?!

Yami Yoshi: Why the hell would we have his soul?!

~Suddenly, Fool’s mechanical left arm begins to beep and his left index finger points directly at Yami Yoshi.~

Fool: ~smirks~ Aha! So YOU had Hades’ soul all this time! Now I don’t have to tell you ANYTHING!

~Fool punches GORE’s face with his iron fist and breaks himself free from the gorilla’s grip.~

Fool: ~charging towards Yami Yoshi~ Give me Hades’ soul!

Yami Yoshi: ~sweatdrop~ Wait! But I don—

~Yami Yoshi interrupted by Fool’s iron fist flying into his face. Flecks of blood and spit fly from Yami Yoshi’s mouth as he dizzily staggers backwards.~

Kantii: Yami Yoshi!

~Steel knives pop out of Fool’s left knuckles.~

Fool: ~winds up fist~ Heh heh…now for the coup de grace!

~Suddenly, a “THUNK” is heard and an unconscious Yami Yoshi collapses to the floor with a second red bump on his head.~

SSG: ~lying next to Yami Yoshi~ Ow… ~springs up and glares at Legion~ Why did you have to throw me?! And you MISSED!

Legion: What are you talking about? I hit Yami Yoshi, didn’t I?

SSG: What?!

Chizu: What’s come over you, Legion?!

Kantii: You traitorous bastard!

Legion: Whoa, calm down, comrades…listen, if Yami Yoshi is unconscious, it will allow Hades’ soul to assume control of his body. Just like the Pharaoh.

GORE: But what if Hades’ soul ISN’T inside of Yami Yoshi?!

Chizu: Hades’ soul dissipated near the end of our battle with Akujin. I do not see how it could possibly be inside of Yami Yoshi.

SSG: ~whips out pistol~ I’m not taking any chances!

~SSG fires several shots at Fool, but a diamond shield pops out of Fool’s left arm and deflects the incoming bullets.~

Fool: Do you think I’m a fool? Actually I am, but my parents were a tad chemically imbalanced…

~The diamond shield shoots out from Fool’s arm on a jack-in-the-box spring and knocks SSG out-cold.~

Fool: …and guess what? Next week, I’m going to court and I’m CHANGING MY NAME! That is, if that “Bsdn” fellow cancels his appointment. If he doesn’t, THEN IT WILL BE TWO WEEKS!

~Fool walks over to Yami Yoshi and stoops beside him.~

Fool: Hades, your soul… ~swings clawed-fist at Yami Yoshi’s neck~…is mine!

GORE: Yami Yoshi!

Legion: Heh heh…watch.

~A sickening “SHINK” is heard and the OGers gasp. Fool looks down and opens his mouth in shock at the long black claw wedged into his chest.~

Yami Yoshi (Hades): ~smirks~ Heh heh…the Kradian Klaw worked like a charm…

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~Meanwhile, deep deep deep inside the core of Rhyk's robotic being...~

Golem: So, who's up for some popcorn?

All: I am!

Golem: Who's up for making some popcorn?

All: Not it!

Sapphire: Not-- oh, you guys suck. *goes to the kitchen*

Yoshiman: This is totally awesome!

Flutter: Heck yeah! We've got our TVs, our GCNs, our GBAs, computers, popcorn, a woman-servant...

Narrator: Elzie smacks Flutter over the head.

Flutter: We've got our Narrator...

Golem: It's what I've always dreamed of... *sniff*

Ditto: We never did get a DS though. Too bad.

Masamune: I hear it had some bad games anyway.

Big Al: That's no biggie when we've got a Nichibutsu game studio right over there and can make our own.

Golem: Gotta wonder what happened to Vorpal...

Flutter: No you don't. Let sleeping dogs lie, or something like that.

Luigi: This sucks.

Narrator: All turn to Luigi, who is sitting with his hat down in the corner.

Luigi: Honestly, do you realize that you've all been repeating this for the last fifteen years?

Flutter: Pssh. How would you know? We may have said something different when you were gone.

Narrator: Luigi glares at Flutter, who shrugs.

Flutter: Fine. We didn't.

Big Al: Why do you gotta ruin everything, man?

Luigi: Just bored of it. I'm out of here.

Flutter: It's not like you can leave. The door's locked.

Narrator: Luigi walks over to the door and opens it.

Flutter: Oh.

Narrator: Luigi steps out the door and becomes a glowing green speck, then turns back and raises a metaphorical eyebrow. Sapphire steps forward.

Sapphire: Yeah, I'm tired of this. You coming, Elzie?

Elzie: Hang on, I just got an idea for my fic. *sits down at the computer* Go ahead, I'll catch up.

Sapphire: *shrugs* Sure. Update my LJ while you're at it.

Narrator: Sapphire steps out the door as well, becoming a glowing blue speck.

Sapphire: Ugh. Why am I blue?

Luigi: We'll send you a postcard, or something.

Narrator: They float away through Rhyk's innards.

Flutter: So who's up for some SoulCaliberII!!!

***

(Rhyk paces the jail cell, scowling at the door. He stops suddenly as he feels something within. Luigi and Sapphire specks emerge from his mouth.)

Rhyk: Whoa whoa! Where do you think you're going?

Luigi: Bathroom. Can't hold it any longer.

Rhyk: That's the same excuse you used last time! I put a bathroom in, didn't I?

Sapphire: Not after Fuzzball got into it.

Rhyk: Oh. Well, make it quick.

(Luigi and Sapphire float out of the jail cell. Rhyk watches them a moment.)

Rhyk: Waitaminute! Hey, get me out of here!

(But too late, as they're already gone.)

Author: Golem

~Inside the cave with Yami Yoshi and the others...

Yami Yoshi withdraws his claw, which is now a deep red, and Fool collapses to the ground. With his last breaths, Fool presses his thumb down on his left forearm. Yami then runs through the hall, glancing in each cell as he passes. The others give chase.~

GORE: ~holding the Pearls of Mystery tight in his non-metallic hand~ Yami--err--Hades! What are you doing?!

Yami Yoshi: That's none of your business!
I will tell you, however, that the only reason I grabbed Yami Yoshi's consciousness before Pharoah Yami Yoshi did was because I am now the strongest force in his body! All I needed was someone to knock him out and I got the opportunity to take over!

~While running, Kantii picks up SSG with his left hand, leans his left arm back, then pitches SSG at the back of Yami Yoshi's head. Yami falls to the ground face down, while SSG bounces off and lands on the ground next to Yami.

After a minute, Yami then stands up while spitting out dirt and turns around.~

Yami: Yeesh... Did that just happen? I think I need to get another Millenium Egg.

~The cells in the hall open up.~

Legion: Hold it!! How do we know it's the real Yami Yoshi?

Yami: It's me, alright?

~A yellow, human-shaped being emerges from every other cell, with the most notable exception being ESD's cell. One approaches Yami, and Yami backs up. Unfortunately, Yami backed up right into the grasp of another yellow being. It begins to melt its arms around Yami when he kicks backwards, hitting the bottom portions of its legs. They crumble, and Yami's feet are able to touch the ground. He bends forward quickly, flinging the yellow being forward. In the meantime, the OGers have had to fend off other yellow beings.~

Far-off voice: Fool! Fool! Where are you?!

~The OGers run through the hall towards its exit, dodging hits from the yellow beings as they run. Yami clears the path ahead by lobbing Dark Eggs forward.~

Far-off voice: Fool! ~mumble~

~The OGers reach the door to the hall. GORE rams it with the shoulder of his metallic arm.~

Knock: Oof! That's the thanks I get for knocking down that Fool guy?!

GORE: Sorry Knob, but we're in a rush!

~The OGers rush into the other room and see a screen on the wall to the left. On it is a gnome with a gruff green beard, whose voice is what the OGers heard in the hall.~

Gnome: So you set off the alarm!! Cheese guards, eliminate the fax!

~The OGers look to the ground and a paper is on the ground under the screen. Kantii runs to the paper and snatches it, after which a yellow arm stretches forth to knock him over. GORE punches the arm and it all discintegrates, save for a yellow spot on Kantii's back.~

Kantii: Well, Lila is on the "Cheese Star..." Fool forgot to transport the Pearls of Mystery along with Lila... and Rhyk has more or less knocked out the Cheese Star's offensive power supply.

Yami: Stand back everyone, DARK OMELETTE!

~Yami Yoshi throws a barage of Dark Eggs through the doorway, destroying a good bunch of the yellow beings--apparently cheese guards--but propelling many through the doorway.~

~A cheese guard manages to run past the group of OGers, then turn both hands into mini-buzz saws. SSG has it in the sights of his gun when he is tackled by another cheese guard. Yami then jumps into the buzz-saw-handed cheese guard while throwing a Dark Egg back into the group of cheese guards. Yami jumps right through the cheese guard and lands a kick on the screen behind Kantii, who was dodging downward.~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Yami spots EVIL Scientist Dude trying to crawl away and grabs him.*

Yami Yoshi: You there! What the hell is going on?

EVIL Scientist Dude: How do you expect me to know?

Yami Yoshi: You're one of Lupus's head lackies!

EVIL Scientist Dude: I don't know any Lupus. I was enlisted by a man named Reno on the moons of Bogden.

GORE: Enough of your vague Star Wars referances! What do you know about Princess Lila??

EVIL Scientist Dude: Well all I know is that I tricked that Fool into beaming her up to the Cheese Star. Fool doesn't even work for Lupus!

Kuria: Then who does he work for?

*Koopa Xtreme's image appears on the giant viewscreen as Legion, an unknown to most of the villains, enters that very room.*

Koopa Xtreme: Vaguely gnomish creature who is not Phil, I'm calling to check up on yo- wait, where's the vaguely gnomish creature and Fool?

Legion: Uh... they're checking out a nearby reactor leak. Nothing wrong here.

Koopa Xtreme: What? I'm sending some men over there.

Legion: No, no need for that sir. The reactor leak is very dangerous, we need some time to isolate it.

Koopa Xtreme: That cave doesn't even have a reactor! Who are you? What's your operating number?

*Legion whips out his shotgun and blasts the viewscreen.*

Legion: It was a boring conversation anyway... Yami, we're about to have company!

Chizu: Nice job. Now what?

Legion: Now we get the hell out of here.

SSG: I can't feel my legs... or my heart for that matter.

Yami: I got it! Beam us up, ESD!

EVIL Scientist Dude: (smirks) Alright, fine!

*EVIL Scientist Dude flips a switch, but it only turns the light off. When the lights come back on, he's gone.*

GORE: Dammit! Let's just get back to the surface!

Author: Yami Yoshi

Yami Yoshi: Right! Let’s get outta here!

~Yami Yoshi steps forward but his foot clangs against something hard and metal—Fool’s left arm.~

Yami Yoshi: What?!

~Several missiles launch out from Fool’s left arm and crash and explode into the ceiling of the cave.~

Yami Yoshi: …shit…

Author: Fred

(Fool's arm hangs to his side by the threads and wires, and he slowly rises to a kneeling position, his face full of a mixture of blood, motor oil, and a vicious grin)

Fool: Suffer, hurt, seethe, scream, squirm, and etcetera...

YY: Wait, did you actually just say etcetera?

(The cave rumbles once more, as twenty Cheesetroopers armed with Urbal Essences burst through the FIRE EXIT and thirty more through the WATER EXIT)

Obvious Cheesetrooper leader, as he's the musclebound guy in the front: Surrender! (Twirls digital watches around stylishly, and then Legion shoots a pistol at his head, quickly killing him. As they head for the exit, Fool's glove hits the wall, and the cords attached to it become an electrified barrier)

GORE: Yeah, great. PL-0TT! PL-0TT! Are there any other exits?

PL-OTT: I'm afraid that that door there is the only way in or out of the cell block... or the weird, underground base.

Kuria: Do I have to do everything myself? (Breaks open garbage chute)

(Suddenly, Fool's arm stops shocking)

Fool: Crap, I knew I should have recharged the batteries. (Fool falls over, dead with a bullet hole in his head, compliments of SSG)

Chizu: Okay... so let's not go down the chute and deal with some weird octopus.

Vorpal: Legion, hand me that sword.

Legion: Well, in your case, no. I don't even know you!

GORE: Do it.

Legion: Oh, why fight it. Very well. (hands it to Kuria, who is obviously not of sufficient stature to use it)

GORE: Yeah. Maybe... maybe, y'know, give it back?

(Vorpal/Kuria easily decapitates everyone)

YY: No time to be playing around! (Shuts off his DS) This thing won't last much longer anyways! Well, the DS, and the base. You know, let's just go. I've had a long-

(Yami is trapped by a boulder)

GORE: Yeah, I could lift it, but... I'm kinda tired, and-

Chizu: Very well, allow me! (She palm-strikes the boulder, turning it to dust)

GORE: Super.

(As they make it nearer to the entry room, Introbulus's Stationwagon is in plain sight, partially built into a version of The Flying Monkey)

GORE: Let's get on that... thing.

Kuria: You want to drive that? You're weirder than I thought.

(Cheesetroopers attack, and Legion shoots one. They run away, and Legion gives chase, with GORE trailing)

YY: I think another writer's caught onto this Star Wars thing...

(YY, Kuria, SSG, and Kantii are being chased down a hallway by about twelve troopers, all carrying standard issue Einsteinium dispensing rifles, and firing. YY and the others come to a door, which leads to a very small platform)

Kuria: Oh no, we are not all fitting on that thing. (Kuria notches five arrows onto her bow and fires, taking half of the persuers out. Kantii lazily grabs another guy and throws him over a cliff)

YY: Wait, that room back there was an exit! Why are we doing this?

Chizu: GORE was interested in some vehicle that looked like a bastardization of mechanics.

Kantii: I have had few recent lines, but we saw it THROUGH A WINDOW. Which we could have, you know, broken.

(GORE and Legion come yelling down t a full corps of Cheesetroopers, armed with oprah magazines)

GORE: You really should have seen this coming.

Legion: Yeah, well, when you take highly trained soldiers, and you put them in large quantities, they become inherently disposable, like ninjas, super soldiers, and demons from the outer reaches.

(They about to slaughter them mercilessly, when they remember that the cave they're in is now even MORE ON THE BRINK of destruction, and if escape is held up any longer, it will not even be feasible that they were trying to get out, so Legion and GORE turn tail and run. They quickly run into the other group, a la scooby-doo. Chizu removes the glass panel with one swift punch, and they ignore the laser blasts moving at them because they are far too slow to hit anyone, like blasters in games like Jedi Academy and Star Wars: Battlefront. Seriously, they move at like half the speed of smell)

Chizu: All systems are go.

GORE: Nobody asked for your opinion.

(The VolksMonkey takes off, making a hole in the roof as the base totally collapses EXACTLY as they leave, finally proving to all people inside that underground bases and large movements do not mix very well, and that staying inside is possibly potentially harmful to your health)

YY: You know, I don't think I'm going to make it. Boulders don't do wonders for your organs.

Chizu: What, we probably could have just stayed in there. We fight the forces of infinity and blow up half of a galaxy every other weekend, so why would we be threatened by that?

GORE: Stop using logic, it's not allowed.

Kuria: I don't understand your exploits, so great.

Legion: Ooh! Ooh! Me!

Kantii: SPEAK.

Legion: I forgot what I was going to say, of course.

Kantii: I gave you a command.

Legion: Ah, it's coming back to me. Koopa is commanding these troops.

YY: Yeah, so? He's just a subordinate of Lupus.

Legion: Didn't look like it. He had a throne, and office with a door and everything!

GORE: You were seeing him in a bathroom?

Legion: Hey, shut up. There was a desk, too?

YY: So, that's it! Koopa brings a desk into the bathroom. This is something we can use against them!

Legion: I really hope you're being sarcastic, but this means that-

???: WHATE!

Legion: what...?

(A black cloaked figure approaches them, with a cloak and it's black and it is)

???: I am ???. Prepare to feel my wrath!

Kantii: On guard! Name yourself!

???: I did. My parents were kind of... unbalanced.

Kantii: Oh. Well, uh, this is awkward.

???: Damn straight it is. Now, I search for the Party Goers.

YY: Let's not have another subplot, please?