Member OG 8 Page 7
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Author: Golem[edit]
~Elsewhere, in France, Mareaeus has put Yami Yoshi and ??? beside him on dry land...~
???: Just call me "Cat."
Yami Yoshi: Fine, b--
~In front of the three flies the core of the Cheese Star MK II. It flies low and toward them. Cat takes off his scarf and readies to lasso something on the Cheese Star, but Mareaeus puts his hand on Cat's shoulder.~
Mareaeus: I got this one, son.
~As the core flies overhead, Mareaeus' hand separates from his arm, flies upward, and grabs onto a latch on the bottom of the core. Golem grabs ahold of Mareaeus' other hand, and Yami Yoshi grabs onto Golem's other hand while holding the Syphnity in his tongue. Mareaeus pulls his torso up along with Golem and Yami, and they dangle off the edge of the core.~
Mareaeus: Now... there's a small matter of entering... this latch doesn't seem to be giving any...
Yami Yoshi: I'll just use one of my patented Dark Eggs! Then we'll get inside and deal with Koopa's company.
Mareaeus: An explosion is bad for a man's grip...
Cat: The rocket!!
Mareaeus: What?!
Cat: The rocket is probably the only unprotected place on the ship, we could sneak in through there.
Mareaeus: Umm, son--
Syphnity: If I may interrupt, you left every door unlocked, while the latches were always locked.
~Elsewhere, in the core of the Cheese Star MK II, Ihsoy sits in the cockpit while the Fusion Kids sit strapped in chairs in the lobby just outside the cockpit.~
Ihsoy (still in Sapphire's body): Imagine Lupus' delight when he finds us bringing this back...!
Author: Fred[edit]
(Ph33r! Ph33r is what GORE felt gripping hiself as... well, you know what? GORE was AFRAID. AFRAID OF THE TRUTH. AFRAID OF THE DARK. I'm personally afraid of narrating the rest of the story like that first sentance. Anyways, GORE realised it was too risky to save the OGers. He decides-)
GORE: Hey, you don't run my life, you just tell what happens!
(Sorry. GORE inspects the room, seeing a splendorous bedroom. GORE opens the door slowly, and moves across the non-carpeted floor and realises too late that he walks ON A METAL ARM and has alerted basically everyone and their grandmothers)
Loudspeaker: Hi, I'm your Loudspeaker attendant for today, Mr. Loudspeaker. I'm here to tell you that a loud noisy disturbance that sounds like metal hitting the ground was heard on floor B7, so check your maps, and if you don't have one USE THE COMPASS TO FIND IT DUMBFACES. Although we have robots patrolling everywhere, their heels are made of cotton, so it's obvious that IT IS ONE OF THEM.
GORE: I really hate this.
(GORE breaks the flooring outside his cage and grabs Shade, who is taking aim at Chizu. GORE stuffs Shade into the wall, pulls him out, and snaps him in two over his leg. He then crushes him with his metal fist and rubs flint against it, setting fire to the corpse. GORE then frees Legion, SSG, Kantii, and Chizu before stuffing Shade's remains under that debris that fell earlier and closes the cage behind him. All writers reading this expect to see Shade next OG anyways. Tim Allen robots carrying dangerous fanny-pack type weapons break in from the floor, as Hundreds of Lupus clones that Koopa Xtreme was trying to create rush down the stairs, and proffesional-looking assasins break in from above)
GORE: How fair is this?
Chizu: Uh, I hate to tell you this now, but the Party Goers and Kuria were all cardboard cutouts.
Legion: Well, I have few remaining regrets.
SSG: I was minute Maid to do this.
Kantii: Of why do they allow us to say these one-liners?
(A screen comes down of Lupus)
Lupus: Hello, Yami. IT SEEMS YOU'VE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP. THIS IS A RECORDING........... darned thing.... OK THERE.... that last pause was for fun. Now, let me introduce you to the men above you. They are the assasins trained to hunt you, and they are some of the most talented people on this flat planet of ours. They are part of a mysterious group called the Toe Clan. You... get it? Like the foot clan, except... oh, whatever. By now you've realised the Party Goers are at another Location. I thought you might like to NOT HAVE A CHANCE AHAHAHA.
Er, yes. This was all a clever ruse while I take over the planet, as well as start to lift some of the binding seals at the Temple of Fred, located in Fred. Not Fred, but Fred. You know.
Evil Scientist Dude: Yes, it is I! The one that was easily defeated and defatted all those times! And now, it is I who has you truly by the ropes. Are you wondering how all these clones got here?
GORE: No.
Kantii: Nein.
Chizu: Not really.
SSG: Nope.
Legion: Nah.
(Elsewhere)
Fred: HELLZ NAW
Lithium: No.
Ishoy: WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? Well... na... na... no.
Koopa Xtreme: Well... y... no, not really. CHECK AGAIN
Mareaeus: I suppose not, son.
Lupus: No, shutup.
YY: No.
Cat: No, and I'm not Golem.
Eerie: No.
Introbulus: No!
Wesus: No.
Knock: I don't remember, don't think so.
Dark Cloak: NEVER
Ninjuka: No, A thousand times the number of babies I have contemplated eating burnt because it's right no! SO ALOT NO
Inevitable villain from another MOG: I'm kinda curious now, but I won't be.
Fusion: NO IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE SIMULTAENEOUSLY.
BSD: Nobody loves me (If I really try)
(back where we are)
Evil Scientist Dude: No. Er, damn. Well, then, I had this whole speech prepared, but...
(GORE throws robots at the assasins above him, avoiding lasers and rockets and cataclysmic falling rocks, as basically the entire floor gives way. Legion fires double pistols stolen from a corpse into his foes' foreheads, before being forced to jump out a window to escape. Chizu attempts hand to hand combat with the Lupus clones, who swarm her as she is grabbed from below. Loading a bazooka made of wood he was whittling, SSG fires a shot to free her, and picks up a Missle-launching array fro one of the assasins)
SSG: Get out of here!
(Kantii, unable to damage the robots, gives roundhouse kicks to the army of clones, before sustaining terrible damage by the hands of a thrown desk. GORE grabs Chizu and Kantii, and throws them out the window after Legion. SSG and GORE fight on, losing terribly. SSG throws down his empty launcher and picks up two time bombs, strapping the to himself and leaping into the fray)
GORE: No! Well, whatever. Wait, I meant NOOO!
(the ceiling and floor, as well as the stairwell give way. The building begins to fall upon GORE. A large piece of cheapanium to the laser eye. jumping tim allen robots and falling debris into his metal arm snaps it off. sparks and wires fly everywhere. GORE fights one using his real fist, smashing robots against each other in lines. ESD has already escaped, as GORE puts a fist through a Lupus clone's head, and skewers another with the same fist. A metal fist from an assasin resticts GORE's arm, and a well placed POINT BLANK motar shot knocks him into an important support beam.)
GORE: This... cannot... end?
(GORE cracks the ground below him with his bloodied fist as the remaining assasins escape, and the robots open fire on his stomach, filling him with shoes and balloon animals. GORE makes it through the ground as the world around him collapses, and he lands in a mine cart. The ceiling above him caves in, destroying the tunnels away. The building itself was falling.
Legion and the others fell ten feet into a factory. Realising they'd jumped into a below-ground window, they watched helplessly as the building collapsed. Evil Scientist Dude cackled maniacally behind them.)
ESD: I saw it on a robot's tape. GORE is no more. A pity that one of my finest creations had to end that way... but now Mon-KILL is more than he would ever have been. Isn't that right, Mon-KILL?
(loud slams are heard. A gigantic beast with fangs the size of Kantii's legs approached them, fixed into a giant metal exoskeleton. Panels flipped up to reveal missles, hidden saws, and a POLLY POCKET PLAYHOUSE)
Legion: For the love of.
Chizu: This is... impossible.
Kantii: I could take em.
ESD: You see, when Mechanical engineering didn't work, I tried chemical engineering. The failed Lupus clones are just that: failed. However, when I payed attention to that BIG MEANIE DISKUN WHO WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT COMBINING MY SKILLZ then MON-KILL was reborn. I mean, Team Monkey has never had a single victory. Not one.
Legion: That's really great. Let's see how well modern science does against a good old fashioned 6 pound grapeshot!
(Legion opens his coat and pulls out a hand cannon, loading it and firing directly at Mon-KILL's head. Mon-KILL smashes it out of the air and advances)
Kantii: Chizu, let us make painful hurting of this!
(Chizu throws Kantii at the beast holding his hand and dragging with him to preform a double roundhouse kick to the face. Mon-KILL's visor is lowered, and they barely manage to break it as they fall away.)
Mon-KILL: You are not worth my armaments. GO GO Mon-KILL SPIN CYCLE!
(Mon-KILL traps them in his washing machine arm, and spits them against the wall. They slump to the floor)
Legion: All commanders know how to sound a retreat, but first!
(Legion fires his pistol unsteadily at ESD, who is cackling maniacally. ESD's neck is punctured)
ESD: Ack! Mon-KILL!
Mon-KILL: I don't need you anymore. It was my goal to crush GORE. Now that he is crushed, I think my new prime objective is to rule. APERTON U FOOTBALL ROCKS!
(Mon-KILL fires metal-melting toast at the OGers, destroying most of the factory in the process, and setting fires everywhere)
ESD: no... don't... leave... my... hopes... and dreams... gone... like reader...intrest!
(Mon KILL smashes the ground so hard that he flies through the roof from the recoil. The ground begins to give way, as the remaining OGers escape via the falling but hanging floodlights)
Legion: This isn't so easy to do when you're missing fingers.
Chizu: You're missing fingers? Maybe I can he-
Kantii: He's a shy Guy, He is of always missing them.
Legion: That and a few extra. Why, why did I ever join that first Expeditionary force against Lupus?
Chizu: You're not going any deeper on this.
(The sides break open, slicing most of the metal pole they climb. Legion blows a hole in the wall, as Kantii glides over, holding the two passengers.)
Chizu: Now what?
Kantii: Digging may be our only solution. After that... we're still far below the ground, and Lupus's Palace still stands, even If he's going to have to do some redecoration with his basement.
Legion:There's... an elevator in this dirt.
Kantii: That makes less sense than I'd like.
Chizu: Quit whining, everything today has.
(MACADAM-while, Knock stands in front of an angry Wesus, who used his reforming ability to keep himself intact, and destroyed the robots)
Wesus: Now, you're taking me to Earth.
YY: Not so fast.
(YY, Mareaeus and Cat walk in the closet entrance, not having noticed the missing Fusion Kids)
Wesus: I sense... THE CLOW CARDS. Or, something I need to regain favor! Yoink! (Wesus steals the Pearls of Mystery from YY, and jumps through Knock, while Cat and YY both give chase simultaneously and Knock goes through himself. Dark Cloak rushes for him, but it is too late. However, he notices Mareaeus and grins)
Mareaeus: Son, stop! Wh... what d'you wan' (If you really try)?
(YY tumbles out upon Cat, who give chase to Wesus, who moves into another room in the hallway. As they turn the corner, Lupus is waiting for them with Fred, Lithium, and Koopa Xtreme)
Lupus: What is the meaning of this? I mean "this". Define it.
Wesus: No time! Use this! (Throws Lupus a can of spinach) er... (Throws Lupus the pearls)
Lupus: Excellent, now my plans are coming to fruitation! (As Yami and "Cat" rush into the room, Lupus sets the Pearls into a slot that specifically says "Do not place those pearls of mystery in here. You'll live to regret it. Well, you'll regret it in a state that involves regretting all things forever and cannot truly be considered "alive" so-" and then is too dusty to read from then on. A huge rumbling occurs through worlds, as the two devices Lupus has placed before him work, and start to roll S-Space into R-Space according to it's activator's command, allowing Lupus to bring to fruitation what he wants most)
Lupus: And now, for my grand finale! You will all finally realise that the world is truly flat!
(A great shaking is felt, throughout both spaces. Q-Space shakes violently as indeed the inevitable occurs! The planet indeed flattens out as all the boundary between Q-Space, R-Space, and S-Space dissapears. however, Q-Space lands right on top of them)
Lupus: Jeez, I've wanted that for christmas and never got it and now that I do it's just great.
Fred: Awesome.
Lithium Debater: Way to go, Lupus!
Koopa Xtreme: We always believed in you! Well, except for me.
(Wesus is totally obliterated by a dark, flaming, bandaged egg)
Pharoh/Yami/Hades Yoshi: What kind of wish is that? You've brought destruction upon us all, an-
(Lithium Debater nochalantly fires his new grenade attachment and a rubber duckie imbeds itself in Yami Yoshi's body, exploding. YY flies back, wounded)
Fred: But that's it? One wish?
Lupus: Whatta rip, I had to use that cheese TASTS. Convient that it was cheese, huh? SO I COULD FEEL IT, HUH?
Koopa Xtreme: Don't ask me.
"Cat": I wish I could stop you, but this is unhumourously hopeless.
Author: Golem[edit]
~Yami Yoshi has taken a Mummification Egg and bandaged his torso, covering the wound caused by the rubber ducky attack. He gets up, wincing in pain as he does so, but is able to remain standing.
Cat's right hand was on his left upper arm when he felt it bulge under his grip. He looked down at his arms and they, along with his whole body, had changed from scrawny to muscle-bound. His skin also becomes brown/dark tan as he is covered in a thin layer of rocks. He also notes that his glasses are out of energy.~
Cat: What the...?
~A round of hamsters flies forth from Lithium's gun towards Cat, who dives to the side just in time. From the ground, Cat jumps forth in a ball and rolls towards Lithium, gathering speed as he goes and richocheting hamsters off his back. Lithium steps aside of Cat's path and Fred swings a mallet at Cat from the side, unravelling his attack and stopping him in his tracks. Cat whips his body around, tripping up Lithium, who drops his gun. Cat grabs it and gets up in time to meet a direct hit from Fred's mallet. As he falls, his hand clenches into a fist out of pain, crushing the gun's handle and trigger. This fires a round of hamsters at Fred, who leans back to avoid them and falls to the ground from the weight of the mallet.
Cat runs towards Lupus, who is filing his nails, and grabs him by the collar. Fred and Lithium get up as Cat turns around to face them, holding Lupus' back towards them, and they stand still.~
Cat: Any last words, Lupus?
Lupus: Quite a few, actually. Erm, hold on. Let me get out my little notepad.
~Just outside a cabin somewhere in Indiana, USA, our authors observe the surroundings...
Author 9 has managed to set himself free and stands peacefully beside the other authors. Everyone but Author 9 is deep in thought.~
Author 9: Awesome. Did you see that plot hole you made allowing Lupus to steal the Pearls of Mystery?
Author 1: We barely had time to double check anything before we lost our omniscience.
Author 9: At least I'm in the lead. It looks like my character is one of the only characters who has a lineage soley from R-Space, meaning he'll have complete access to his S-Space forms... I only hope it doesn't affect him mentally too much. Heh, if we try to merge with our R-Space forms, we'd probably just make them weaker.
Author 10: ...Is that Eerie flying overhead? Where's Introbulus?
~Above them in the air flies a reptillian-looking thing (which lacks legs and is as white as snow).~
Author 9: ...Eerie! Enough inviting your punches, expositioning, and generally obnoxious speech, we've got to warn our heroes!
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
~The remaining OGers ride the elevator to the top of the highest mountain in the Swiss Alps.~
Kantii: That's odd. There's no horizon.
Chizu: What would do that?
Kantii: Gravity's feeling a bit funky too. Maybe coming up here wasn't such a good idea...
Legion: But what do we do now? GORE's dead, and Yami's been gone forever. We're lost.
Kantii: Maybe EVIL Scientist Dude was lying. Can you, I dunno, descend under the topsoil and look for GORE?
Legion: How would we get him out if I even did find him?
Chizu: We'll improvise.
~Meanie-while, GORE takes an awesome exciting adventure on his mine cart through the collapsing cave.~
GORE: Oh noes! The track is out! ~somehow jumps WITH THE CART over the hole in the track and lands on the other side.~ That was awesome and exciting.
~A stalactite falls down at just the right time that it will impale GORE when he rolls under it. He jumps out of the cart, kicks off of the nearby cliff wall, then lands back in the cart right after the stalactite has finished passing. Or he would, except that the cart got dragged down with the stalactite, as well as the rest of the track. GORE falls for a bit, taking the time to braid the loose wires of his missing arm, before suddenly popping out of a hole, hanging in midair for a second, then falling down right next to it. Unfortunately, all that there is for him to land on is a tiny island in the middle of the ocean.~
GORE: Wh-where am I? ~pulls out compass~ Ten degrees... west. Fifty degrees north. But Switzerland is on the eastern hemisphere. It's like I, I dunno, fell through the earth and came out on the other side. ~ponders~ I didn't fall nearly long enough, though... My mind is boggled!
Vorpal: Oh. There you are.
~GORE turns to see Vorpal, Kuria, Luigiman, and Sapphire's spirit, who are watching him from the entrances of their designer island huts.~
GORE: So this is where he put you guys.
Kuria: Do you have any idea what's going on?
Luigiman: Yeah. I've been trying to ask Mr. Predict forever, but for some reason he's not coming up.
GORE: Beats me. I just fell through the center of the earth. Even if the earth were, oh, completely flat, what I just did makes no scientific sense.
Vorpal: It's an OG.
GORE: You guys didn't happen to find a way off of this island yet, did you?
Vorpal: We were kinda busy making sure we could survive, first.
GORE: ~examines Vorpal's hut~ Nice. The sixty foot deck on the back may have been pushing it...
Vorpal: I didn't realize the ocean was so far away...
Author: Yami[edit]
Meanwhile in the Temple of Fred…
~Lupus reaches into his pocket and pulls out a plastic-ringed notepad.~
Lupus: Take… ~pulls out the plastic ring and straightens it~…THIS!
~Lupus thrusts his arm forward with the plastic needle in hand and stabs Cat’s eye.~
Cat: GRAGH!
~Cat releases his grip on Lupus and stumbles backwards clutching his eye.~
Lupus: Cheese Ray!
~Suddenly, a Dark Egg explodes at Lupus’ feet causing him to lose balance and misfire his Cheese Ray at Ihsoy and the Fusion Kids.~
Lupus: Oh well…at least I eliminated another potential pointless subplot. Too bad Vlad wasn’t standing there, too. Damn 3G…
~Yami Yoshi walks up behind Lupus, his chest wound Mummification Egged.~
Yami Yoshi: Hmm…page seven …I think it’s FINAL BATTLE TIME.
Lupus: Agree.
~The temple ceiling slides open and Lupus looks up towards the sky (now a chaotic, psychedelic mixture of colors and lights due to the dimensional disturbances of S-Space and Q-Space, and because it makes an awesome final battle setting).~
Lupus: ~raises his hands into the air~ CHEDDARNITE! COME!
~Cheddarnite warehouses all over the world burst open as the yellow substance shoots out a supersonic speed towards the Temple of Fred.~
Yami Yoshi: Screw this! I’m not going to just stand here and wait for you to obtain your nigh-invincible power!
~Yami Yoshi hurls a barrage of Dark Eggs at Lupus just as waterfall of cheddarnite pours down from the sky. The cheddarnite forms a sphere around Lupus and absorbs the Dark Eggs.~
Yami Yoshi: Damnit!
Author: Fred[edit]
(Yami keeps throwing eggs at Lupus as Cat holds back Lupus's allies. YY pushes Lupus out into the temple basement. Lupus manipulates the cheddernite to throw it back at YY, and lets it fly at him in a wave. YY jumps over it, and nails Lupus in the leg, burning it badly. Lupus forces the cheese to hold him on a platform, and makes an eggbeater form of it, advancing on YY. YY grabs onto the spinning cheeseform and climbs up, when it rushes up to the ceiling and crushes him through, then carries Lupus through. Lupus creates a huge cymbal monkey and crashes against YY, who hops back, but it shot by the force into a beam. Lupus forces the Cheddernite into a staircase form, and rotates it towards YY, hitting him out a clock uptop a high building)
Yami: What? We were just in a cellar.
Lupus: Yes, but whatever's going on, it involves cliched end fight scenes.
(Lupus lets the torrent of cheesy substance flow like a waterfall towards Yami, who swings himself, still onto the same ledge, but out of the way. Lupus then morphs it into two large knitting needles, and breaks off the chunk of building YY is hanging onto. YY flutter kicks to another building, a high turret of a castle/tower mixture house, and blows up the middle of the needles. Lupus floats a platform nearby and forces the four pieces into four animals: A duck, a yak, a crocodile, and a three-toed sloth. The duck pecks at Yami, who steps on him, the crocodile bites his leg, but is dispatched by a single egg, the three toed sloth lazes about, and the Yak takes up solitaire. Seeing the failure of this method, Lupus flies down and kicks at YY. YY blocks and gives a flipping kick to Lupus's face, sending him to the ground)
YY: Face it Lupus, you're... some... well you're no longer a decent villain!
Lupus: Hey, they said the Beatles would never make it... Now it's time that you understood the beginning of my power and fury and that miscellaneous stuff! The Batman's beginning!
(Lupus covers his body in the cheese, creating a jumpsuit which he controls. YY, try as he might, cannot hit the reforming and liquid-ish Lupus, who gives stylish movements from Yami's left hook and kicks)
YY: But... no...
Lupus: How have you been saving the universe, again?
(Lupus's hands turn into large skulls, with sharp edges and teeth. YY throws an egg at Lupus, who opens up his stomach, allows it to go through the gap, then reforms. Lupus smashes Yami in the cheek, taking him to the ground, then picks him up in the other skull's teeth, raking his body. Lupus's feet become stilts, and his head forms a helicopter blade, keeping him afloat. Lupus's feet feed back in and become alpine skis. He smashes Yami and himself into the top of a burning building, with a helicopter above for no real reason. Lupus has pretty much knocked all availible life out of YY, but in the process of the fall, been made a puddle. He forms into lego bricks and rebuilds himself, changing his left hand into a frying pan, his right hand into a curling iron, and both his feet into rollerskates)
Lupus: Bwhahaha. Yami Yoshi, you'll never win. You'll never be as awesome as me because you're COLOURED.
YY: I would be offended if I wasn't basically dead. Maybe I should stop talking.
(Lupus scoops up YY in the Fry pan, and slams it against a wall. He picks up Yami again, who melts the cheese using Hades's power. YY then wraps up Lupus completely. Lupus quickly Play-dohs through the slits in the bandages, and runs right over YY. He turns is lower half into a horse, and his hand into a Flagpole. He skewers YY again, putting him right through the side of the building's top.)
YY: Uhg... I guess I can't win every one.
(YY drops off the edge, and attempts to grab windows, only to fracture more bones. YY lands on an outlying pole and spins off it into the flaming building)
Lupus: Boring. Might as well finish the job.
(Lupus Turns his hand into a huge sickle and slashes the building to shreds. He then turns it into a large hammer and smashes the remains to pieces)
Lupus: Ahh, that's the stuff.
(MALADY-while)
Cat: You aren't going to beat me like that.
Lithium: Och Aye?
Fred: Not going to beat the geek?
Koopa: I've been waiting for this for a loooong time... except for the periods where I didn't anticipate it at all or know you existed. So like ten minutes.
(Fred swings his hammer downwards to be grabbed and thrown away with him by Cat. Lithium sets his remaining Shotgun to fire napalm and can because he got the FLAMETHROWER PICKUP though a shotgun can by no means shoot fire, and attempts to burn Cat. Cat endures, and charges through it, but is knocked off course by a ravenous Koopa. Koopa is thrown into the wall as Fred recovers and throws a barrage of waffles. The waffles knock Cat into a ball, and out the door, as Lithium charges after him. Lithium hits him in the face with the butt of his gun and backsteps one punch, but is hit in the stomach and is winded by the other. Fred, who is behind Cat, picks him up, only to have Cat roll forward, and run over Fred a few times. Cat picks up Fred, and tosses him at Lithium, bowling them both over. However, Koopa comes raring after him in a TWIF-Tech Jet plane, and lets loose a bomb AND NOW WHAT DOES HE HAVE FOR THE BOSS? Cat is basically decimated by the blast, his rocks breaking off)
Cat: Crap... out of useful forms, I think.
(MONTAGE-while, Legion holds back a scimitar arm, and side kicks an assasin out of his way, then pistol-slaps the other assasin out of the way. Another one runs at Chizu with a fire axe, and slashes horizonally, drawing shoulder blood. Chizu holds back screams as she grabs the man's headand flips the man's body into her knee, killing him. Kantii rips four limb from limb with his claw-like nails)
Kantii: This place is still occupied! How are we going to dig for GORE?
Princess Lila: I can answer that. Cheesetroopers, prepare to dig! I want you giving your lives up as painfully as possible if It gets the digging done faster!
Cheesetrooper: It's the right thing to do.
Legion: What's going on?
Princess Lila: I know GORE. I need to save him, or PL-0TT would never forgive me. Welcome to the anti-turk coalition.
Legion: Ah yes, Vlad must have escaped. I really should have been the one doing that.
Vlad: Well, you'll get your chance next time. We've freed SwordMaster and Saru and we are ready.
Chizu: Ready for what?
Princess Lila: To fight the "United Coalition King's People's Force of Earth Army".
Legion: That army name is even worse than yours. They probably win depending on their enemies attempting to remember the whole name.
Vlad: There is some pretty serious resistance, especially considering the invisible enemies cutting us down.
Kantii: There's little time to lose, so GET MOVING and stop taking your damned coffee breaks! You don't need to eat or drink!
Cheesetrooper: But we like to! (attempts to drink tea, but has it's mouth permanently closed)
(MAST-While, a battle rages in Japan. Cheesetroopers and the Japanese army dispatch waves of robots and men, firing against TWIF-Tech PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL WEAPONS, stereotyped bazooka/panzerfaust, and giant toothpaste tubes. A cheesetrooper head explodes from a missle, ten humans fall at the hands of the beastly Youma Ganon, who is promptly shot by a young man named Kogarth who is never important and he dies. In America, TRO helps the Cheesetroopers with their flying submarines, quickly winning the day. In europe, The giant robots crush all attempts of Cheesetrooper invasion. The New Kradian army accompanies Cheesetrooper forces to wipe out what remains of the Chinese army, and attempt to fight through asia. Austrailia is NOT ALLOWED IT'S TOO CHEAP IN RISK)
Chizu: This is going terribly. We'll never stop Lupus, and we're crushing the human race!
Princess Lila: But, do you have a better idea?
(Mon-KILL enters a lesser temple near that of Fred. He walks through the walls, destroying them. Suddenly, he lurches foward to dodge two darkened swords. Gamechamp and his robots confront mon-KILL)
Gamechamp: Okay, the introduction is old, but welcome to your doom. After we destroy you, we're going to see what we can do about seizing power, here.
Mon-KILL: Oh, really? (smirks) Well, that would be something, if you managed to even bruise me.
(Gamechamp and his team form into one powerful robot like in MOG2)
Robot Team: You think you can challenge the Robot Team and get away with it?
Mon-KILL: Well, I just did. Why do you bother to ask again?
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
I have really tried, and so I return.
*Chizu, Kantii and Saru approach the temple and find Yami Yoshi's battered body.*
Yami Yoshi: Ah... my children... you are alright.
Chizu: Don't tell me you got wasted again.
Yami Yoshi: No... it was Lu...pu...s... . He's going... to... get some sort of... freaky-deaky power... he's rendered me helpless. I'm... afraid I can't... do much more now than... speak.... with... ellipses. It's... up... to you, supporting... cast.
Kantii: Wow. It will be an honor, Yami Yoshi, and as we all know honor is of great importance to Lord Kantii of the Crows!
Yami: Swing away, George... swing away...
Chizu: Huh?
Yami: Sorry... I'm suffering from... several concussions right now. Also I... keep straining my... head further while... wondering how the hell I'm still... alive. Move on... my children. May your cheesecake... never... burn. By the way... pick up some cheddarnite on your way... back! I'll... explain later!
Chizu: Oh Yami! Don't worry! We'll beat that Turk for you!
Kantii: Yes, it will be an honor- wait, I already made that monolgue. (bitterly to Saru) Hey Smiley, why don't you say something? This guy nearly sacrificed his life to save us all!
Saru: I need not pay my respects. He was stupid to take on Lupus alone and even stupider for letting him win.
Chizu: It's not about that, Saru! He lost, but he fought with honor!
Yami: Um... yeah, sure...
Chizu: He stood up to Lupus the Turk, and now we must finish it so his loss in not in vain!
Saru: I agree with the last part. We should take Lupus while he's slightly winded from that lightweight's attack.
*Chizu looks away angrily and misses the hint of a smile on Saru's face.*
Gamechamp: ROBOT TEAM FUSION!!!
*Every other member of the Robot Team compresses into a smaller piece containing their power, and one of each robot's pieces attaches to Gamechamp. In the end Gamechamp's right hand is covered by Black's, which holds a dark sword. The muscular armored left arm of Yellow's becomes Gamechamp's, and it holds Blue's most powerful laser cannon. And his chest is covered with the extremely resistant armor that once was Green.*
MON-KILL: Pathetic mechanoids. You may have stood a chance against me when I was all flesh, but now with my bad-ass mechanical self, I am invincible!
*Rockets on the back of MON-KILL's feet push him forward into tackling Gamechamp, but Gamechamp niftly springs out of the way while MON-KILL plows into a wall which then collapses on top of him.*
Gamechamp: Kinda hard to move in that giant-ass shell, isn't it? Unless you really try, we have the advantage!
*MON-KILL releases a mechanical grunt as he tears through the wreckage and uses a pogo stick attached to his ass to bounce up at Gamechamp to release a Primate Punch, but the punch is absorbed by the Yellow armor. Gamechamp blasts MON-KILL back to the ground with the Blue Cannon, then speeds beneath him and raises the Black Sword so that MON-KILL is impaled on it. MON-KILL stutters as sparks fly from his chest. But MON-KILL is not done yet. He uses his pogo stick tail to sweep Gamechamp off his feet. Quickly removing the sword and tossing off the edge of the Earth, he proceeds to pummel Gamechamp with his fists.*
MON-KILL: Who is at the disadvantage now?
*Gamechamp raises his cannon, but MON-KILL simply grabs it and tears it off his arm. MON-KILL flings Gamechamp after it, but Gamechamp luckily lands just on the very edge of the world. MON-KILL arrives there in a blink and raises a huge-ass boulder.*
MON-KILL: Obselete technology must be destroyed.
*MON-KILL flings the boulder at Gamechamp, who stumbles over the edge. MON-KILL then walks up to the edge to watch his endless fall. Only to Gamechamp holding the boulder with his Yellow arm while his rocket boots propelled him behind MON-KILL.*
Gamechamp: You're the obselete one!
MON-KILL: (charges chest missile) That thing won't even get near me! Catching it will also be a simple task!
Gamechamp: But can you avoid... THIS?
*Gamechamp slams the boulder into the ground with his Yellow Arm with incredbile force, causing an earthquake that disintigrates the ground beneath MON-KILL's feet and sends him tumbling into space with one last mechanical scream.*
Gamechamp: Well that was fun. Roll call!
*All of the Robot Team parts fly to Gamechamp and reassemble into their true forms.*
Green: I am-
*Elsewhere...*
Green: Hey!
*Back on the island, GORE has constructed a new wooden arm for himself to use.*
Vorpal: I think your handymanship could use some work.
GORE: Shut up! From now on, I'm in charge here! I'm the head OGer here! This is GORE-LLIGAN's Island!
Luigiman: It's not as cool here as it was in GMOG.
GORE: Anyway, since I'm in charge, I want secrets to my past so spill!
Vorpal: Nuh-uh. Remember our deal. the Party Goers go free first. We still need to get the rest of our friends' bodies from Lupus and their souls from Rhyk. Explanations can wait. Speed is of the essence.
*MON-KILL falls from the sky and lands on the island.*
GORE: What the f- (tackled in the blink of an eye and strangled by a giant mechanical arm) Gack... who the funky fresh are you?
MON-KILL: Don't you remember me, GORE? The man whose life you ruined.
GORE: Q- Quahog? What have you done to yourself?
MON-KILL: You know that Quahog died years ago. Now I am just a shell of my former self. I am the spirit of death acting to right you for your wrongs. And now I am better then ever before without pesky organics. I am vengeance. I am the ape. I am MON-KILL.
*</nowiki<MON-KILL flings GORE into the ocean. The other OGers attempt their attacks, but they're useless- Kuria's arrows, not even the Vorpal Sword, can dent through MON-KILL's dense armor. He ignores them as dashes towards GORE at incredible speed. OGers in in his path dodge just at the right time to avoid becoming roadkill. MON-KILL stops at the shore, then shoots out his hand, which is attached to his arm by an unbreakable and unmeasurable string. The hand reaches out and grabs GORE by the neck, then reels him back in. Then MON-KILL swings GORE around and smashes him hard against the ground. GORE grunts in pain.* MON-KILL: Do you feel that, GORE? That is the feel of pain. That is the downfall of you organics. It is pain that clouds you. Us mechanicals transcend that weakness. We feel no pain, and we can inflict as much as we want. We are flawless. <nowiki>*MON-KILL clubs GORE against a palm tree, cutting it down effortlessly.*
GORE: No you're not. (summons the strength to reach into MON-KILL's chest wound and tear out some wires) Everything has weakness. And your weakness is that you're not real.
*GORE disappears into the jungle. MON-KILL slowly walks in after him, but can find no sign of him. GORE's voice echoes from the treetops.*
GORE: You remember hating me, don't you? You remember your emotions. You remember love, hate, sorrow, happiness and anguish. But you cannot feel those emotions, can't you? How will you feel when you finally get your revenge? Nothing. That's all you'll feel ever now. Nothing.
*MON-KILL spots the silhouette of a gorilla hiding in a palm tree. He springs up, grabs the gorilla and beats him to death before realizing that he's just Donkey Congo.*
GORE: You've lost yourself, Quahog. You've traded your body for revenge. And not only that, but you have traded your humanity as well. At least Dark GORE didn't choose to become that. His humanity survived. I don't regret what I'm about to do because you are not the real Quahog. You are not a real anything.
*MON-KILL looks around suspiciously. Then GORE drops down with a giant tree trunk in his hand and drives through the hole in MON-KILL's chest. MON-KILL is weakened by this, so GORE then pushes the trunk and MON-KILL with it at full speed to the shore. Summoning all the strength in his body, GORE heaves the giant tree trunk and tosses it into the ocean. In the process his wooden arm snaps.*
GORE: Hey, I just finished that!
*The second he touches the water, MON-KILL's torn wires set off a blast of wild electricity that drains all power from the lifeless shell.*
GORE: Let that be a message to the real MON-KILL.
*Elsewhere in one of EVIL Scientist Dude's labs, MON-KILL's true body lies suspended in a water tank. Suddenly the water bubbles with anger...*
*On the island...*
GORE: (ties together some turtles with his back hair to make a raft) Well, what are you waiting for? Pack your bags! We've got some bodies and and a mechanical scrawny kid to find! (looks at the stump of his arm) Also a mechanic who is at least slightly better than me.
*Back in Temple of Fred, Lupus approaches the Altar of a Helluva Lot of Power.*
Lupus: At long last, the powers of Mr. T will be mine, and soon the world will follow!
*A pause follows. Lupus looks around questioningly, then continues.*
Lupus: (loudly) I said, "At long last, the powers of Mr. T will be mine, and soon the world will follow!" This would be a perfect oppurtunity for some would-be heroes to try to stop me!
*Another pause. Lupus looks around.*
Lupus: (loudly) I mean, after I get this power, it's all over! Everything will be mine, and there's nothing you could do to stop me! But maybe, if you really tried you could stop me now!
*Lupus reaches for the Altar extremely slowly. As he's about to touch it, he stops and looks around again pulling back his arm.*
Lupus: (loudly) So you've given up, I see! You must have seen the futility of your quest and my vast superiority! Now I guess I'll take this omnipotence for myself- that is, unless someone wants to challange me to a final battle! (silence) Oh screw this, I'll just take the idol!
Voice: KRAAAAAAAAAW!!!
Lupus: Holy crap, it's about time! If I were just some pwer-hungry madman the world would be gone by now! What took you! (turns around and sees Kantii, Chizu and Saru) ...Is that it? Where are the others? Where are the important guys, you know, the ones with actual storylines?
Kantii: Busy fighting the war (shots of Lila, PL-0TT, Legion, Vlad and SSG fighting in Japan) or half-dead (shots of Yami Yoshi's body being pecked by a vulture) or just plain missing (shots of GORE riding a raft of turtles with the other Party Goers) or fighting your minions somewhere (shots of Cat fighting Fred, Lithium and Koopa) or talking about this OG on talk shows (shots of Gamechamp on the set of Regis & Kelly).
Lupus: Well this will be boring. But at least it will be fun until the real characters arrive.
Chizu: We'll show you how real our characters are! You'll pay for what you did to Yami!
Saru: This mindless blabber is pointless. Let's just finish the ridiculous clown here and now.
Lupus: Not so easy...
Author: Yami[edit]
Lupus: Prepare to be dunked.
~The mountain of cheddarnite behind Lupus morphs into a tidal wave and cascades towards Chizu, Kantii, and Saru.~
Saru: Meteor!
~Saru hurls a mammoth fireball at the incoming cheddarnite wave and blasts a huge hole through it.~
Saru: Hang on tight, guys!
~Flames surround Saru’s feet as he lifts Kantii and Chizu onto his shoulders and rockets the three of them towards the quickly shrinking hole.~
Lupus: I don’t think so.
~Several small globs of cheddarnite shoot off from the wave towards Chizu, Kantii, and Saru.~
Saru: Dragon!
~Saru inhales deeply, then exhales a blast of flames from his mouth. The flames form the shape of a dragon and incinerate the incoming cheddarnite globs.~
Saru: Here we go!
~Saru accelerates his rocket feet and squeezes through the small hole milliseconds before it closes.~
Saru: Woo! Score one for the Fire Warrior!
Chizu: You know, you could have just flown over…
Saru: You know, you could have just SHUT THE HELL UP!
Author: Golem[edit]
~A small, floating reptillian-looking thing (which lacks legs and is as white as snow) rushes past Saru. He falls back and Chizu catches him as Kantii leaps forth to attack Lupus.
While Saru is looking back at the cheddarnite, he has no time to react as the small reptillian thing rushes into the cheddarnite. Kantii kicks Lupus in the stomach. He is knocked backwards but rebalances himself by putting his right foot behind himself. Kantii continues to attack, but Lupus only blocks.
Behind Kantii, Saru has been concentrating all of his energy on digging through the cheddarnite. Soon he is flung out of it, toppling over Chizu, Kantii, and Lupus with his momentum, and the cheddarnite takes the shape of the small reptillian thing, stretched to fit the size of the large gob of floating cheddarnite.
The cheddarnite dashes at Lupus. Lupus, trying to regain control of the cheddarnite, does not move and lets it engulf him. The others can do nothing but dodge the cheddarnite's attacks as it strikes wide and hard, taking out walls and support posts with nearly every move it makes. The ceiling shakes as the building prepares to collapse. Saru gestures to the others to get under the cheddarnite. Saru grabs the cheddarnite's attention, and after Kantii and Chizu slide under it from behind, it swings its featureless arm at Saru, who tries to dive under the attack. However, the cheddarnite's arm swings low and slams Saru across the room. After this, the building collapses.
When the dust of the fallen temple settles, Kantii and Chizu get out from under the cheddarnite, and find that it is no longer whole, but now a large amount of small cheddarnite orbs. In the middle is Lupus, floating and concentrating. However, the cheddarnite reptile soon reforms itself, keeping Lupus inside.~
Chizu: What are you?!
~Two hands (without arms) slowly float up to the cheddarnite and put their wrists near the cheddarnite's arms without attracting its attention.~
Cheddarnite: My name is Eerie, and I'm taking back what my employees gave to Lup--
~Two arms rush up from behind the cheddarnite, each one connecting with one of the wrists of the floating hands from the other side of the cheddarnite's arm--thus trapping the cheddarnite's arm between the invisible force keeping the hand and the arm connected. Soon an armless Mareaeus landed on top of the cheddarnite Eerie. Now his eyes are completely black. The cheddarnite tried to shake Mareaeus off, but he clung on using his invisible connection to his arms. The cheddarnite also tried swinging its arms, but could not do so while restricted by Mareaeus' detachable limbs.~
Author: AaronGuy[edit]
*Just a mile or so above Eurasia..*
AaronGuy: Well this is a fine mess. The Dark Cloak leaves us for dead, and since neither of us can work the controls of this flying coffin, we'll be just as he intended. I mean sure, we weren't much of a help in this OG, but if we live, maybe we'll get introduced again like the Robot Team did.
Characters seem to grow with age. Like cheese... *looks at Culex, who's sitting on the floor, eyes closed* Trying to find a happy place before we die?
Culex: Sort of. Remember how all planes of time and space combined into one?
AaronGuy: Well yeah, that happened only a page ago. Not much we can do about that here.
Culex: And remember how I lost my connection to my homeword and power source? Well, the pocket dimension Varunia is placed in, though seprate from most of S-Space, is still S-space, and with Lupus bringing all the planes together, he brought it back in reach. If I can just find it... *shakes violently as the link to Varunia is remade* Yes! Mwahaha...
AaronGuy: So, you're back to full power?
Culex: Certianly a lot more power than I had previously. *the 4 elemental crystals, looking none worse for wear in their long absence, fly out of the sky and keep up with the falling Cheapanium craft* It might be too late for us to help out in this OG, but at least I can get us out of here!
Fire Crystal: *engulfs itself in it's namesake, and spins rapidly. Lowering onto the ship, it starts drilling down through the cheapanium. The Earth Crystal acts as a hammer, forcing it down, while Water keeps temperatures manageable. The Wind Crystal slows the craft's descent*
*Eventually, a hole large enough to fit a person through is formed*
AaronGuy: But I don't understand. Cheapanium is supposed to be the strongest most godmodding element known to man.
Culex: Perhaps, but when Dark Cloak passed through it, he might have tainted it's perfect nature. Anyways, as strong as Cheapanium is, it needs to be a little tainted in order to be shaped into a ship like this, otherwise it would be too hard to shape. That's why it makes a better door or wall.
AaronGuy: That's nice and all, but I think we'd better get out of here.
Culex: Right. Hold on! *flys out of the ship as Aaron grabs his ankles*
Ship: *Flys off into the horizon*
AaronGuy: Oops... we probably should have done something about the explodium.
Culex: Eh, can't be that bad.
*In Japan*
Super Dark Omega Yami Youma Ganon: *rises out of the rubble* Hah! You think a little bullet can stop me? I might be confined to a wheelchair, but I AM YOUMA GANON, MASTER OF-
Ship: *flys into Youma Ganon, both crushing him and exploding on him. A building falls over onto Ganon, followed by another one, an airplane, a cruise liner, and Oprah Winfrey. Ganon is dead, much like his author, and it's doubtful either shall return.*
*back in the sky*
AaronGuy: So, now what do we do?
Culex: We leave THAT to the authors...
Author: Fred[edit]
(Aaronguy blinks slowly, and looks around when a huge explosion occurs below him)
Aaronguy: Holy Candy Nicorette, Batman- I mean Culex! I have feeling that we're needed down there.
(Below them, Huge war robots fight trapped Cheesetroopers, all fighting to defend Princess Lila)
Cheesetrooper Jayce: Man, We're down to 2 hp! SOMEONE USE THE CO POWER
Cheesetrooper Larkson: Damn, out of TP.
Lila: We're pretty dead.
(Culex flies Aaron down with him, and flies right through a huge motar launcher, shattering it in alldirections in huge pieces, crushing a great deal of the titanic robots in the area)
Culex: I have a feeling she'll know where we should go. Aaron, go save her.
Aaron: If you insist.
(At the Temple of Fred, The fighting grows more intensely confusing as New Kradians, along with The Incorporals begin to join in. Cheese flies everywhere, as Legion leads the charge, picking up weapons only to fire the once and be forced to discard them to throw them at potential threats. Toe clan assasins slaughter Cheesetroopers with their unique combat styles, only to be stopped by Incorporals. The New Kradian army wreaks havok upon the Tim Allen bots, only to be nearly annihilated by explosives and other unavoidable attacks. The Cheesetroopers in turn keep the Incorporals at bay, who scream in pain as their binds to existance are eliminated by the cheese fired. Eventually, Legion and Vlad break in, covered by the advance Cheese Troop guard, and Elite Kradians. As soon as they make it in, however, A huge group of assasins, along with Tim Allen robots make it in the other side. They are led by Pandora, and an AFRICAN-AMERICAN (Wow politically correct) assasin who is strapped to a large number of blades, allowing him to roll around in a spikey ball)
Vlad: Heh, this should be enjoyable.
Pandora: Is that what you think? I'm afraid you're certainly overconfident, there.
Assassin with many blades: I am pincushion, and I will be pleased to eliminate your tiny legion myself.
Legion: How dare you call me small? I'm a shy guy! And I can't wait to spread your entrails around!
(Legion takes a MP40 and fires at Pincushion, who rolls towards him using his blades, which block all the shots. Vlad rushes Pandora, who throws boxes releasing kunai. Vlad pole vaults them, and stabs at her. Pandora gets the spear stuck in a pizza box and disarms him, advancing with another box. Vlad quickly presses a button on his hand, which pulls in a string holding his spear, returning his spear to his arm, and then fires it at the startled Pandora like a harpoon. As she dies, her box opens, releasing a bomb. Vlad jumps into the crowd of Robots.)
(MAW-while, The struggling villains in the cheddernite suddenly stop. Lupus comes out on top, taking the cheddernite back, destroying Mareaeus with the cheese and keeping Eerie out of the cheddernite for good. Eerie quickly takes form as a red and blue masked, black cloaked creature)
Lupus: Boring.
Eerie: You! You've ruined what I had planned. Unfortunately for you, it's not late enough to crush you!
(Eerie sends a sonic distruption towards Lupus, who spins the Cheddernite so fast that it absorbs the impact. Lupus then forms boots for hands with it, and smashes Eerie through the wall. Eerie rolls and feels the pain as his momentum digs him into the ground. Lupus laughs callously as he forms toothpaste tubes for hands, firing a volatile blob at the OGers. Saru is washed back, as Chizu and Kantii leap over. Lupus rushes at them, swinging punches at inhuman speeds. Kantii and Chizu both sidestep and grab Lupus's hands, and rush him into the wall. Lupus splits into two, turning into two giant one-yen pieces, and smashes into them, then spits them out into the ceiling as he reforms. The two drop back down, and Lupus fires sharp tentacles from all over his body. Kantii and Chizu are for the most part able to break them before they reach them.)
Lupus: What do you do when you're out of hands and legs? WOW THAT WAS PRETTY INTIMIDATING
(Lupus's tentacle spikes break into more tentacle spikes, which in turn do the same. Being forced back, Chizu and Kantii retreat progressively quicker, until the connecting tentacles all melt and the whole spiked barrier falls apart to their kicks. Saru had melted it)
Saru: Can't you do
any better than that?
Lupus: Your biting remarks just kind of... make you annoying, Saru.
Saru: What?
Lupus: Honestly, you don't need to be so sarcastic about EVERY LITTLE THING I mean you almost never say anything that is.
Saru: Want to make something of it?
Lupus: Yeah, Sure, okay.
(Saru creates a gigantic Flamin glove)
Lupus: Uh oh, Beatles reference time. Take the g off "glove", and you get "love".
(Can't buy me love plays and Lupus foils the flaming glove with cheese-made floating text saying "love", until at the glove is surrounded by cheese-written love and the song ends and the glove explodes)
Lupus: Boring.
Saru: Rush him!
(Chizu and Kantii throw punches at Lupus, as Saru throws fire to support them. Chizu dodges left to be hit by a third hand, and a fourth hand grabs Kantii's neck, then throws him across the floor. Lupus grabs Chizu in the top two hands and "does the Goro thing", then tosses her across the floor at well. He then creates a funnel that shoots the fire back at Saru, who is none too pleased)
Chizu: He's a tireless monster!
Kantii: Can nothing hurt him?
Lupus: No, duh. Jeez, you haven't tried anything exciting this entire time, and I don't think that Bros. Attacks are gonna cut it, you'd better just go home.
Saru: We can't just do that, Lupus. The OGers never did the first time, and that's why they defatted you. I mean defeated you. Well, I suppose they did both.
Kantii: I am no coward!
Chizu: I wouldn't blame you for running like a young child, to tell you the truth.
Kantii: Yes, well, no matter how dumb it is, I must stick with it to the end.
Chizu: And that's why you get invited to so many parties. Well, I for one cannot let you, Lupus, make those people suffer!
Lupus: I do not! I just put them in a very compromising situation and ignore/forget them!
(Lupus forms two guns on his left hands, and two huge swords on his right hands)
Saru: Is that the best you can come up with?
(Saru, Chizu and Kantii all charge the side with the swords. Suddenly, the guns slam them into the wall, and the swords are thrown towards them. Chizu gets one in the gut, Saru in the shoulder, and Kantii manages to dodge the last one, which reforms into a tiny elephant and runs into his leg, knocking him over as Lupus advances on him. Kantii gets a huge clobbering to the face from Lupus's dradle finisher)
Lupus: That's all of em. 3 defatted OGers, HA HA HA.
(Suddenly, Lupus turns around. The idol is not on it's pedestal, but in the hands of Eerie, who begins to get rougher features, not to mention a mohawk. Eerie grabs Lupus in one hand, squeezes, and lets him ooze out as a liquid. Lupus reforms and backhands a cheese-formed cooked chicken leg into Eerie's neck, which just breaks in two)
Lupus: What! Ime gona kill whate?!
Eerie: With this power, the world can be made perfect. I couldn't let you just get something like this! Now, suffer and despair.
Lupus: N--noo- nooo - alright.
Eerie: What, just like that?
Lupus: Are you kidding? RUN AWAY!
(Lupus splits from his cheddernite suit, which instead becomes a rocket and takes him out of the room, back to where YY is)
Lupus: There's some cheddernite I can use in here! Cheddernite, come to me!
(Yami, as his body is basically comprised of cheese, flies towards Lupus, combining into his body)
Yami Lupus: This blows.
(MASSAUGE-while)
Legion: Take this! (throws a grenade, taking some of the blades off)
Pincushion: Not good enough. (Pincushion takes a leap at Legion, cutting a huge swathe through the men below. Legion rolls to the side and ducks, just missing being grazed) Well, are we the nimble one?
Legion: Well, your mother is nimble in bed! Well, I mean, if you had one.
Pincushion: I find that highly offensive, and will be crying about it in my live journal tonight, since that's the kind of thing I do! Die!
(Pincushion rolls up the wall, sticking to the ceiling, and attempts to drop on Legion, who takes a sniper rifle off a dead soldier and puts a shot through Pincushion's head, while rolling into the blade-less zone he'd created with the grenade)
Legion: Wow, he didn't even have a backstory. Well, come to think about it, neither do I. But that was like... 10 minutes. Man.
(SwordMaster lands with the Talon Police, allowing a major break for the troops, as they push them back into a valley, then preform a serious bombing. Unfortunately, human troops rush in, giving the something to worry about again)
Legion: Commander with two appearances in total! Take over the defense of the Temple's exterior for now, and if anyone gives you command 66, it's a prank call.
Swordmaster: Sorry I'm late to the party, we've got to find out what's going on!
(they come across Koopa, Fred, and Lithium Debater, who are all fighting Cat while standing on each other's shoulders)
Koopa: Quick, press the Z button for a team attack!
Fred: What input to choose, Koopa?!
Lithium Debater: We're trying to pull off a triple decker half twist... oh jeez, these things give you no time whatsoever! (They simply fall onto Cat, knocking him out, and then pull out their weapons again as they notice the new challengers PLAYER TWO FOR SURE)
Fred: Ah, more of these things that are supposed to live fulfilling lives but are not allowed to by me. Man, they're called something, and it's on the tip of my toung.
Lithium Debater: People?
Fred: That's the one.
Koopa Xtreme: Yo, dawgz, dis is our territory. Keepz out.
Lithium Debater: I'm a white person Koopa, I'll do the talking. F'reel, get yo asses out.
Vlad: Dandy, These guys again.
Lithium Debater: I'm glad I picked up that "H" powerup, this is gonna get hot.
Legion/Swordmaster: Any hope of actually getting to this fight this post?
Fred: Not a one. SYNTAX ERROR
Author: Golem[edit]
~MUMBLE-while, on the ruins of the Temple of Fred, the three OGers lay next to each other.
Kantii turns to Chizu, and Saru slightly turns his head to Kantii.~
Saru: ~whispering~ No. The best thing for us to do is to play dead.
~Eerie, after looking around, floats towards the nearby OGers.~
Eerie: Saru.
~A pause.~
Eerie: SARU.
~Another pause. Eerie grabs Saru's shirt and hauls him up into the air, where Eerie keeps a tight grasp on his shirt. Saru remains limp.~
Fusion's voice: Put my friend down, Eerie!!
~Eerie turns around to see Fusion holding The Holy Plot Device (Reverb) on two sticks, like holding an ear of corn on those two things you stick into the ends of the ear of corn. You know.~
Eerie: Okay, you got my attention just by knowing my name. That doesn't account for why should I put down your friend, though.
Fusion: Because my other friend ~holds up THPDR for a second~, while broken, still acts as a very nice power amplifier! A good device for someone who has every power in the universe such as myself!
Eerie: Really? You only have the powers that were in R-Space, mostly dulled versions of S-Space powers.
Fusion: And you think that artifact is going to help you? It's from R-Space too!
Eerie: Okay. You got me. ~puts Saru down on the ground~ Now I kill you.
~While Fusion has acted as a distraction, Saru and Kantii have escaped, with Kantii carrying Chizu, unable to attempt to heal herself in her unconscious state, going into the un-collapsed part of the temple. They reach the room where Legion and the others are when, after hearing Fusion yell out an attack from far-off, a beam of light rips through the room, destroying walls, and reaching the outside where it destroys a good portion of the fighting armies, though nowhere near a majority.
After the beam has passed, Lithium fires seven homing hamsters. Legion jumps back two squares onto the convenient wooden crates they keep around in Temples of Fred these days and shoots the hamsters down while Vlad is able to charge forth with his spear. While SwordMaster blocks Fred's mallet with his sword, Vlad swings his spear at Koopa Xtreme. Koopa leaps and sucks his arms, legs, and head entirely into his shell and snatches the spear by its sharp end, then spins in circles, hitting Vlad in the chest and sending him backwards. Koopa slows down after hitting the ground, and before Koopa has a chance to shove the spear out of his shell, Vlad picks up the spear and flings Koopa at Lithium Debater, knocking him down. Legion uses this distraction to put a bullet through both of Lithium's shoulders.
Elsewhere, Fred's mallet has provided sufficient weight to knock SwordMaster to the ground, where he now holds his sword at two ends in blocking Fred's mallet. As Koopa jumps over to land on the mallet, Vlad shoves Fred off of SwordMaster, and the four end up in a heap with Koopa on top. Vlad gets up, knocking Koopa off, and Fred flings himself into the air by smashing his mallet against the ground. With Koopa and Fred clear, Lithium winces as he fires two homing hamsters at SwordMaster and Vlad. Legion manages to shoot down the two hamsters, but does not notice Fred coming at him from the side. Fred's mallet slams Legion off of the crates. Once on the ground, Legion fires his gun through the crates, forcing Fred to jump back, where Vlad's spear pierces Fred's upper right leg.
While SwordMaster fends off Koopa, Lithium sneaks up from behind. As Lithium readies to hit SwordMaster's head with the butt of his gun, he lets out a grunt of pain by accident, alerting SwordMaster who immediately drops to the ground and kicks Koopa upward. Koopa receives the hit, and SwordMaster rolls away as Koopa slams against the ground. SwordMaster then, still on the ground, kicks Koopa's shell at Fred, who falls to the ground and drops Vlad's spear (which he had removed from his leg) and his own mallet, giving SwordMaster a healthy 300 points. Lithium tries to hit SwordMaster again only to get a punch to the head from Vlad. Lithium is unconscious.~
Legion: You could've helped, Kantii.
Kantii: Ulgh... despite my usual disposition, I'm not so sure.
SwordMaster: Chizu!! What happened to her?!
~Koopa leaps at SwordMaster, who suckerpunches Koopa unconscious.~
Author: Yami[edit]
Meanwhile…
~Suddenly, a glob of cheddarnite falls off of Yami Lupus. It steams as it hits the ground.~
Lupus: What.
~Yami Yoshi forms out of the glob, but missing his right foot.~
Yami Yoshi: Wow, despite several gaping holes and fractured bones in my body, I feel great!
Lupus: What the hell.
~Lupus hops up and down and furiously grabs at the air like an invisible kangaroo rapist in a futile attempt to regain control of the cheddarnite.~
Yami Yoshi: You’re pretty retarded.
Lupus: Disagree.
~Yami Yoshi’s cheese-ified foot morphs into massive baseball bat.~
Yami Yoshi: Later, Lupus.
Lupus: No.
~Yami Yoshi swings and slams his foot/bat into Lupus.~
Lupus: Ugh. This OG is terrible.
~Lupus disappears into the sky with a Team Rocket-esque “TING”.~
Author: Golem[edit]
~SwordMaster and company hear this, and rush into the room with Yami Yoshi. Everyone is stunned to see Yami's foot floating in the air. Yami casually reattaches it and gets up, then falls down from exhaustion.~
SwordMaster: Yami Yoshi, are you okay?
~Legion takes Chizu from SwordMaster, whispering to him that she'll see a medic. Legion then gets the attention of Saru.~
Legion: Follow me, you need to get to a medic.
Saru: I'll live.
Legion: Not for long with that attitude. And you know it.
~Saru gives Legion a scowl and follows him out of the room.~
Yami Yoshi: I'm anything but okay... Lupus just sent me through the ringer...
Kantii: Does your foot float on normal occasions?
Yami Yoshi: No, but that does explain why I asked for cheddarnite. Sorta. Lupus tried to absorb me as cheddarnite, but luckily I used Hades' powers to boil me out of his grasp.
SwordMaster: We should take you to a medic.
Yami Yoshi: Yeah, alright... I'll finally be able to rest now that the day is out.
SwordMaster: It's not over yet.
Yami Yoshi: I kicked Lupus outta here. He's done for the OG. The temple is in shambles, his artifact is probably broken. We even crashed two Cheese Stars. He's gotta be done for now.
Kantii: A ghost dinosaur is fighting with Fusion.
~Legion returns.~
Legion: Speaking of Fusion, we've got to convince him to blast the incorporals, Tim Allens, and assassins. Then we can focus good amount of the army on Eerie.
~Yami then speedily floats out the door. The others give chase, and find themselves outside with Eerie and Fusion.~
Legion: Fusion!! Listen up!!
~Fusion, as well as the others besides Legion, watch as Yami becomes one with Eerie.~
Eerie: Heating yourself up won't work, Yami... I control elements of both cheese and heat, among other things. While I may not be a cheese god I'm certainly better than your level 1 magic.
~Meanwhile Legion has punched Fusion.~
Legion: Wake up!!
Fusion: ?!?!?!
Legion: See those armies over there?
Fusion: I don't have time for your advanced wars!
Legion: We both know you're not going to go after Eerie while he's got Yami for a cheese shield.
~A homing hamster explodes on the now-yellow Eerie. Then Sapphire's spirit comes to Legion.~
Sapphire: Hey! We're stuck on the other side of the planet! Mind helping us?
Legion: Um... not much I can do for you ma'am. Ah, but there is something you can do for me...
~Sapphire's spirit reaches the other side of the planet.~
Sapphire: ...So we need to set off a tremendously large explosion in the next five minutes and six minutes. The farther from the center of the Earth, the better.
Luigiman: ~shuffles around in the pockets of his shorts~ Well, I have some stuff from Fuzzball, but they won't create huge explosions... unless we use the volcanoes! The chain of island volcanoes we're sailing amongst will work perfectly! Just toss a few inciniary devices down and we're set!
Kuria: Won't we cause a lava flow that way?
Vorpal: That's what running is for.
~Soon, on the flip side of the Earth, Fusion, SwordMaster, and Kantii are beaten up at Eerie's hands, while Legion keeps an eye on his army. Just when all hope is lost, Eerie flies up into the air for a bit before turning around and smacking into the Earth upside-down. When GORE's party had set off an explosion, it rocked the Earth, causing it to flip over. Everything remained the same, though, relying on the Earth to provide gravity. Eerie is not bound by gravity, however, and thus got the Earth thrown at him.~
Fusion: What the...
~Legion turns from his army for a second and views Eerie from afar.~
Legion: Aha, the plan worked!
~Eerie's cheese shield loses form and balls up while Eerie weakly tries to get up. Another homing hamster knocks him clear of his own shield. This gives Fusion the chance he wants to aim a full blast at Eerie. A large beam of white light passes over him... and then nothing of him is left any longer.
An extremely limp Yami Yoshi forms from the spheres.~
Legion: FUSION YOU @##@#%@%$^!^@$@#!!!
Fusion: I did it! Haha!
Legion: Fusion! You just blew up half my army!!
~Eerie floats in the sky above the OGers, invisible to them.~
Eerie: I'll get you when I have the forces...
~The Earth smacks Eerie again. He finds himself inside the ruins. And very much hurting after crashing through some walls... but his stealth is in tact.
Elsewhere, Chizu's and Saru's wounds are being treated...~
Surgeon 1: I thought this woman was to be cleaned before operation began.
Surgeon 2: She was.
Surgeon 1: Then that yellow stuff coming from her wound isn't from that weapon?
Surgeon 2: No... it's coming from her body...
~MUCKRAKER-while...~
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Yami Yoshi: So, what, did we win?
Legion: Looks like we have, Yami. Looks like we have.
*Kantii rushes in.*
Kantii: Bad news, guys!
Yami Yoshi: What is it? What news could you possibly have that can ruin our victory?
Kantii: Yes, things worked out well here, but in Japan... I just got word. The Cheesetrooper forces have been completely crushed. They were overwhelmed by Lupus's Mecha-Bots. Lila, Aaron and Culex are still missing. PL-0TT has also been confiscated. This doesn't look good.
Yami Yoshi: Dammit, what does that green-haired freak always get the last laugh? Where is he, anyway?
*As Yami finishes speaking, Lupus, Koopa, Lithium and Fred are seen tiptoing right past him in the background, then dashing away into the horizon.*
*In the infirmary, Saru takes one last look at the sleeping Chizu before he flies out the window. SwordMaster then enters and watches over her.*
*Legion silently visits SSG's grave. He then points at Sergeant Ghost Guy and laughs.*
SGG: Shut up.
*MUGGLEwhere, in Japan, Princess Lila is cornered by a Mecha-Bot.*
Mecha-Bot: Bzzzt! Nowhere to go now, infidel! Submit to Lupus and the ways of the flat!
Lila: Princess Lila Francesca Daimundo does not to submit to anything, especially giant tin cans.
*Lila draws her blaster and fires, but her lasers are absorbed by the Mecha- Bot's armor. The Mecha-Bot then reaches out for Lila with its giant hand.*
Lila: Dammit! I didn't count on that happening!
Aaron: Shredder!
*Suddenly the Mecha-Bot convulses as Aaron's attack messes with its circuitry. He finishes it with a giant Fire Stone that explodes the giant Mecha-Bot.*
Lila: (hugs Aaron while smirking deviously) Wow! You saved me all by yourself! Thank you sooo much!
Aaron: (blushing) 'Twas nothing, miss... do... you need anything... else?
Lila: Well... now that you mention it... (presses her face against Aaron's) you can help me to get something from Lupus's base and get out of here!
Aaron: Ey... ey... yes...
Lila: (pecks on the cheek) Oh, you're so sweet! What's your name, handsome?
Aaron: Ah.. ah... Gary?
*FREDwhile, the Party Goers lounge around while GORE holds EVIL Scientist Dude upside-down out the window of a tall building with his right arm, which has been reconstructed with wax.*
GORE: You have until the sun melts my arm and sends you falling to your doom to talk, now talk!
EVIL Scientist Dude: Fine, dammit! I hate you! They're in Australia! TWIFATIT Manor! They're watched by... Weisheit himself!
GORE: Yokay.
*GORE takes a clump of melted wax, sticks it on the side of the building and then sticks EVIL Scientist Dude to it.*
GORE: By the way, you got any spare mechanical arms for someone my size?
EVIL Scientist Dude: Oh, first drawer to your left. (smirks and fingers the remote control in his pocket) Don't worry, Remote-Control-That-Can-Blow-Up-Whatever-Machines-I've-Built, Daddy has a feeling he can put you to use sometime soon...
GORE: Well guys, let's head off! We have to go to find Weisheit Manor. Your missing bodies are there.
Kuria: Thanks for everything, GORE...
Luigiman: ...But we'll be taking him without you.
GORE: Huh? Can you really pull this off by yourselves?
Sapphire's Spirit: We're resourceful. We can take it.
Vorpal: But first, I think we should tell you what we know about your past. Sit down, GORE. This will be a little hard...
*GORE leaves the lab looking like his dog, cat AND pet iguana had been hit by trucks and didn't mention him in any of their wills. Also they burned his house down before they died. That's just how bad he felt.*
*Some time passes. Yami Yoshi, a suddenly silent GORE, SwordMaster, Fusion, Kantii and Chizu are gathered for dinner. All other OGers are missing or busy with their own affairs. Legion had joined those missing in Japan when he made a second attempt to retake Japan. Vlad had also disappeared after the final battles. No word from the Party Goers, Introbulus, Saru or Rhyk either. Despite this the remaining OGers have all settled down for a good meal courtesy of Yami Yoshi. Yami cuts up a cheesecake and serves one slice to each of them. But just as they're all about to eat... something happens.*
To Be Continued in Member OG 9!