Nichibutsu of America Page 1
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Author: The Great Ditto McCloaker[edit]
~One day, Ditto McCloaker was on the phone~
Ditto: Yes? Yes? Oh, okay. Sure, I think I can do that. You got it. Sure. Good-bye. *hangs up*
Ditto: Well, that's got THAT settled. Oh, hi everyone! *waves to audience* Hi. It's me, Ditto! You probably noticed me on the phone just now. I was talking to a very important executive over in Japan. He's in charge of a VERY popular and long-established video-game company overseas, called Nichibutsu Co. Ltd. You've probably heard of it? Well, maybe not, since they only sell in Japan right now.
But that's about to change! You see, he's VERY interested in branching out into the United States right now, and I've been appointed the new CEO of the new company!
*goes out, gets into car, and drives to new building. A crane is hoisting the words 'Nichibutsu of America' over the door. Ditto gets out of the car, and goes up to the top floor*
Ditto: Our company is in charge of Americanizing games that come over from the parent company, but that's not all. Since we know the market here, we've also been given authority to produce our OWN games to beef up the company's profits!
*sits down in large CEO chair and swivels around*
Ditto: We'll be allowed to make frequent trips to Japan whenever we need to, as well. Okay, now... what do I need...
Ditto: Oh, of COURSE! I'll need to hire some employees...
*picks up phone and dials newspaper*
Ditto: *leaning back in chair* Yeah, I want a Want-Ad put in the paper.
"Now hiring: Game designers, tech artists, sales personnel, etc. Employees in general to work at Americanizing games wanted as well. Apply at 6115 Seattle Dr. Inverviews held upon arrival."
That should do it. *cradles phone* Now... to wait and see what happens...
*turns around in chair so back is to camera. Steeples fingers, and waits*
Author: Blaine[edit]
Techno got his paper with the job opp.
Techno: Well looks like i can get a good job hard work but it'll be worth it. Techno picked up his cane with the alixandrite stone and tiedd the machting headban into his deep blue hair. His white lab coat was unbuttened it showed his white tanktop his black cartenter bat machted his black steel toe boots. His pants and lab coat seemed to be made of pokets he wore shades over his emireld green eyes. He picked up his briefcase then pressed a few buttens on his cool looking high tech whaht that he himself made. Then he was sirounded in blue light and dissappeared and reappeared in Ditto' office.
Techno: I heard you where hiring? I can tralate and I good with technogy as you've alread seen. My name is Dr. areo Yang Techno Just call me Techno kay.
Author: Nintenfreak[edit]
~At Spaceworld~
NintF Jr.: And So you can see, the GloveBoy is the next big thing in portable gaming.
~An unruly mob tosses NintF Jr. outside along with his GloveBoy~
NintF Jr.: I should have been a writer, or a preacher. Man I suck at this..
~At that time, a Newspaper is blown in his face.~
NintF Jr.: What's this? Nichibutsu of America now hiring? Maybe their CEO will like my GloveBoy! I'll have a job yet! They'll be sorry!
Author: lzn64[edit]
~Meanwhile, outside of Spaceworld, an unassuming figure sneaks stealthily outside the premises~
Elzie: I just need to find an open window, and maybe a grappling hook... I can't seem to find me Japanese to English dictionary, either... *mutter, etc*
Nintenfreak: But Spaceworld's open to the public.
Elzie: *blink* Hey! I'm supposed to be invisible.
Nintenfreak: My Glove Boy negates the effects of invisiblity, among many of its useful functions.
Elzie: This reminds me of a story I once heard.
Nintenfreak: What about?
Elzie: I don't remember, but it ended with the innocent victimized girl getting her revenge on the nasty profit-driven scoundrel who sold her invisibility stuff that didn't work. And that's what's important.
Nintenfreak: So, you wanna try my Glove Boy?
Elzie: How does it work?
Nintenfreak: So, you wanna try my Glove Boy?
Elzie: ...I think I'll pass. I'm still trying to get into Spaceworld, remember?
Nintenfreak: So, you wanna- Oh, nevermind. Maybe this tactic will work on the guy who runs Nichibutsu.
Elzie: I doubt it.
Nintenfreak: You got a better idea?
Elzie: No, but I can I come anyway?
Nintenfreak: Sure. Why don't you try my Glove Boy out on the way?
Elzie: How does it work?
Nintenfreak: Why don't you try my Glove Boy out on the way?
Elzie: If you get hired, I quit.
Nintenfreak: Sssh. Practicing "get-hired-quick" strategy.
Author: Nintenfreak[edit]
~later~
Ditto: Send 'im in.
NintF Jr.: Er.. Yes sir?
Ditto: What do you specialize in?
NintF Jr.: I specialize in Marketing, but I'd like to be part of the Creative process.
Ditto: Do you have anything that you have made before in your "Creative process".
NintF Jr.: Why yes I have! Wanna try my GloveBoy?
Author: Masamune[edit]
Ditto: Perhaps but- *phone rings* Hmm... *looks at ID* The Boss! *answers*
Phone: *high pitched, old asian man voice* Ditto-san... have you begun setting of company!?
Ditto: Y-yes sir!
Phone: I see no profit!
Ditto: I just started yeste-
Phone: I demand profits today! I am sending my two grandsons! They will test your games!
Ditto: .... grandsons?
Phone: Yes! They live in America stupid! They be there soon! No Profit, No Job! BYE! *phone hangs up*
Nintenfreak: Uhh... wanna try my glove boy?
Ditto: Not now... my boss's grandchildren are coming.... o_O
----------------------
Masa: Hee hee... I knew being adopted would be great! We get to test games!
Mune: Umm... yeah... but.... this is not Nintendo, this is Nichi. I mean, a JOKE of a company. They've put out games that even LAMERS are ashamed to own.
Masa: Well... that's why were gonna shake 'em up a bit! Show them a little what's-for! Make 'em know what real games are! Now come in... let's see who's in charge of this joint.
----------------------
~Ditto cringes as the door opens and two kids enters, suddenly his eyes widen~
Ditto: Wait... YOU TWO!?
Masa: No way.... YOU!?
Mune: Hoo boy...
Ditto: Since when were you related to my boss!
Masa: Since when did you work for a crappy game company?
Ditto: This.... is a very popular franchise! Why are most recent game was Water Duck.... It's in translation now!
~In Translation...~
Translator: ARGH!!!! This game it mind-numbing in BOTH languages!!!
~Back with us....~
Masa: I heard it caused two kids to commit suicide for discovering life had no purpose after all.
Ditto: Coincidence.
Mune: A Nichi manufactering plant was raided and bombed as a act of vengance for insulting games.
Ditto: Uh... they were confused.
Nintenfreak: Wanna try my glove boy?
Ditto: Okay! Okay! I'm trying to turn the business around, yeesh. Make some good games you know, make Nichi popular... make us well known! Make the games I've always dreamed of!
Masa: Oh, is that all? Good, cuz we were gonna tell grandpa if you didn't.
"Re: Heh heh he asked for it." by Blaine a samurai[edit]
A strang alarm goes off on Techno's whaht.
Techno: Why you littel! Take this!
he presses a few buttens on his whaht and sceen shifts to space a satilight shoots a red beam. sceen shifts back to the compiny threw the large glass window behind ditto the others see the red beam fly by and soon there was an incredibly strog explosion about a mile away. A dozen firetrucks wiz by sirens blaring.
The other look at Techno.
Techno: He the littel bugger stole my car! no one steal my car and gets away with it.
Masa: Or lives apently!
"Dum dee dum." by Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
*Luigi of the Pipes bursts with no ado into the room.*
Luigi: Ditto. Give me job. Now.
Ditto: *sigh*
Luigi: Can I do Paper Mario 2 here, or would I have to work with Nintendo for that?
Ditto: I believe...
Luigi: Blast...
Author: sapphire[edit]
~tap, tap, tap~
*The flying sub is parked on a nearby roof. A bored Sapphire taps her fingers rhythmically as she reads through her newspapers.*
Sapphire: I really need to find a new means of transport...
*She flips to a different page.*
Sapphire: Want ads? Am I truly that bored? Dum de dum.. typical run of the mill everyday items. What's this? These game companies must be getting desperate. Hm. I'd work for nothing less than Nintendo.. but..
*She rereadsthe ad. A small smirk crosses her face.*
Sapphire: Somehow it all seems familiar. Might as well check it out. Could prove to be a nice change, working for a salary. Perhaps I'll get inspired enough to figure out a new means of transport. *She gets up and moves over to the control panel.* Well, I suppose I could always just take this over. Hopefully they have 'Sub parking' on the roof.
[Later]
Sapphire: *walking up to office* It's difficult to find good parking spaces these days.. yeesh. Hm. It seems to be a bit crowded in there. Perhaps I should wait out here before letting my presence be known...and just listen at the door.
~inside~
Ditto: Time out!
Masa, Mune, Luigi, Elzie, Nintenfreak: [all stop talking at the same time and look at him]
Ditto: Thank you. If we want to be a working company, we must be calm. Let me hold my interviews.. and.. er.. [looks at Masa and Mune]
Masa: What? "Grandpa" says that we get to make sure that things get done here.
Ditto: I know what I'm doing! If you all would let me continue-
Nintenfreak: But what about my gloveboy?
Ditto: [smacks hand to forehead] Uh.. give it to those two to try.
Luigi: If we can't do any Mario games, what's the point?
Elzie: If any of them get hired, I'm out of here.
Ditto: Hold it, hold it. We must conduct this in a dignified manner. So everyone, OUT! We'll start over. There is a clipboard outside. Sign your name on it and it will be the order I see you in.
Mune: But what about us?
Ditto: Er... just go out with the rest of them. [to himself] This calls for.. drastic measures.
[Meanwhile, Sapphire writes her name down, grins, and quickly moves out of the way as the door opens and everyone leaves, grumbling]
"Heh." by Blaine a samurai[edit]
Techno snachted the clipboard and signed rigt belwo Saphire.
">:)" by Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
*Luigi swipes the clipboard from Techno and grabs a pen from his pocket. Upon looking at the two names written, he signs his own in the margin ABOVE Saph's name, then quickly sets it down and hides under a plant in the corner.*
Luigi: Hee hee, I'm so sly.
"I saw that!" by Blaine a samurai[edit]
Techno: you cheating littel fool! the only reason your here is to make a sequel to some game I've never heard of. If you must do that go to nintendo! he conked Luigi of the Pipes on the head with his cane. He then took the clipboard and scribbeled out the name from above3 Sahps. and made it impossibel to pull the same stunt again. now resign you name!
"Did you?" by Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
*Luigi takes the clipboard and pen, then (turned away from Techno) scribbles off Saph's and his name, writes his own name, then re-writes theirs. For good measure, he adds his name AFTER Techno's as well.
*He goes back to hiding behind the plant.*
Luigi: Heh heh, too clever indeed. This company NEEDS me.
"Did you?" by Yoshiman[edit]
*Yoshiman storms in*
Yoshiman: I DEMAND to use the restroom!
Ditto: What?
Yoshiman: Uhh. . . . *Looks at sign* And a job.
Ditto: Get in line.
Yoshiman: Funny. . . seems as though I've done this before. . .
Author: Mr Sgt Flutter[edit]
*Yoshiman goes to the end of the line*
Flutter: *turns around* Hi, I'm Flutter.
Yoshiman: Hey that like my name, if you take off all the letters of Flutter and say Yoshiman.
Flutter: You look fimilar, have I met you before?
Yoshiman: I don't think so.
Flutter: You were in Party Goers.
Yoshiman: Party What? You probably have mistaken me for someone else.
Flutter: Oh, right Party Goers was a novel. Sorry. *turns around*