Nichibutsu of America Page 2

Pages in Nichibutsu of America: A Game Company OG

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"You all sukzs" by Reno the Turk

*Lupus falls through the roof*

Lupus: Hiya all. I'm Lupus of Nichibutsu of Japan. How are you going?

Yoshiman: Get in line if you want a job.

Lupus: Uh, you must misunderstand me. I already work for this place. You know, in Japan.

Yoshiman: So do most of us. Get in line.

Lupus: But...

Yoshiman: You can get in line now. We all know you're here for the job.

Lupus: Fine.

Yoshiman: No sneakers.

*Lupus signs on the clipboard quickly and walks back to the line, standing behind Yoshiman*

Flutter: I'm scared. What if, you know, that Ditto guy... KILLS ME?

Yoshiman: Wimp.

Flutter: Its quite a possibility. He could be... a... a... SONY GUY for all we know! He'll kill us for being affiliated with Nintendo!

Yoshiman: I've said it before and I'll say it again... wimp.

Flutter: Well, don't come crying to me if he decapitates you with that nasty looking clipboard of his!

Yoshiman: ...wimp.

Lupus: Yah, wimp.

"Looseres" by Blaine a samurai

Techno: If i didn' want to destroy the building in the prosses I would fire my satilight lazer at you fools just to get you all to shut up!

"The Big Kahuna Will See You Now" by Yoshiman

Yoshiman: Well that wouldn't go over very well with the boss now, would it?

Techno: He's not actually my boss YET. . .

Yoshiman: Unless you actually wanted to get a job.

Flutter: He's giving out jobs? I thought he was going to kill us.

Yoshiman: No, that's what _you_ said.

Flutter: Oh, yeah.

Author: Masamune

Ditto: A wise proverb once said... the last shall be first... *looks at the several scribbles on the notepad and realizes at the very bottom is Elzie Ann* Well, imagina that. *turns on Com unit* Would Elzie Ann step in the office.

~Waiting Room Line~

Masa: Elzie!? Bah, disgraceful! Why when gramps finds out...

Mune: Notice she is the only one NOT in line... but in fact furiously attacking the vending machine?

Masa: Wow... I got 20 bucks says that she beats the vending machine.

Mune: You're on!

~Later...~

Ditto: *eyes narrow* Elzie Ann... I see your references here... hmm... A accidental appearance in Party Goers... very shady past OGs here... yes.

Elzie: I'm not into dialogues...

Ditto: *sips his tea* But you are here.... why?

Elzie: ... to get in to Spaceworld?

Ditto: *steeples fingers* Rumor says there will not be one this time.

Elzie: What!? NOOO!!!

Ditto: *nods* Indeed.

Elzie: .... Why do you keep making all these motions?

Ditto: *raises eyebrow* What do you mean?

------------------------

Yoshiman: It's taking forever.

Flutter: Probably killing her I bet.... O_o

Lupus: Wimp

Techno: Fear not... I shall go next and stop him from any evils he may inflict....

Luigi: Watch it pal, you aren't cutting in front of me!

Author: Blaine

Techno: i can't beleave i said that. Eh all those sleepless nights are taking their toll. i'm just going to take a nap this line isn't moving anytime soon. Steps out of line and falls a sleep on a choshened couch. a moskeeto tries to land on him but is zaped by a lazer that poped out of his wrist whacht. ZZZZzzzzzz!

Author: Vorpal

Vorpal: *kicks in door to Ditto's office* Boom, baby! The Vorpster has arrived!

~Outside~

Luigi: Can he do that?

Yoshiman: Well he did didn't he?

~Inside

Ditto: If you want a job, you'll have to get in line.

Vorpal: I didn't come for a job. I came to sneer at your pathetic company.

Ditto: Well consider me sneered, now anyway, Elzie . . .

Vorpal: WAIT! I'll also have you know, I own the multi-million-dollar video game software giant, Vorpalsoft, across the street, and I have come here to steal away any would-be programmers or what not from you by promising salaries that you will not be able to compete with! Bwhahahahaha!

Author: Mr Sgt Flutter

Flutter: *comes through the door* Get in line!

Vorpal: I'm not here to get a job!

Flutter: Job? That's what we're here for?

Yoshiman: ~sigh~ For the fourty-seventh time.

Ditto: Weren't you two last in line?

Flutter: Everybody else fell asleep.

Vorpal: Hey you look pretty smart...

Flutter: Me? Smart? Hahahahaha...

Vorpal: The person behind you.

Flutter: ~sniff~ That was the first time in my life I almost got a compliment.

Yoshiman: Why yes I am pretty smart.

Vorpal: No, no. The person behind you.

Lupus: Zzzzz...

Ditto: Him?

Vorpal: NO. Behind him.

*everyone looks behind Lupus to see...*

Ditto: Gasp.

Flutter: It can't be.

Elzie: Can't we finish this interview?

Lupus: Zzzzz...

Yoshiman: A couch?

Vorpal: Yes a couch.

Flutter: It does look pretty smart.

Vorpal: How about working for me couch?

Couch: Okay. *the couch gets up Techno falls off*

Techno: Zzzzz...

Masa: Well look at that, a talking and walking couch.

Mune: Wish I had one of those.

Vorpal: Let's go.

Couch: Okay. *steps on Luigi* Whoops.

Luigi: Zzzzz...

*Vorpal and the couch walk out*

NintF Jr.: *comes out of the bathroom* Did I miss anything?

Saph: Oh nothing much.

NintF Jr.: Hey the line move... in a different direction.

Ditto: ~sniff~ I'm going to miss that couch.

"That was odd." by Blaine a samurai

Techno:ZZZzzzz he then stands up and sleepwalks into a wall and contimues walking into wall. He then truns andround and hits the vending machean cuasing it to fall down and spill all it's contes cont the floor. Techno trips over a bag of gummy bears and slids along the floor into the mens room a loud bong is heard when his head hits a tolet. ZZZZZZzzzzz

"Ooh!" by Yoshiman

Yoshiman: Hey, look at that.

Flutter: You mean Tecchy sleepwalking?

Yoshiman: No, the contents of the snack machine spilled over the floor.

*They dive for it*

Author: Nintenfreak

NintF Jr.: Well, Mom allways said not to pass up free food!

"Not good pals" by Reno the Turk

Lupus: Not good, not good! This is taking too long! I think I'll die of hunger before I get anywhere.

Yoshiman: Try a Super-Deca-Fortunus Ditto Cookie. They heal 15HP.

Lupus: But I'm on 1/1,000,000HP!! I need to be in good shape before I take on the boss of this dungeon... *dun dun dun* DITTO!!

Yoshiman: Well... just eat a lot of them! You'll cure that missing HP in no time.

Lupus: Are you sure eating that many Super-Deca-Fortunus Ditto Cookies can be good for you? Anything with the name Ditto in it makes me feel sick.

Yoshiman: I'm afraid every single snack-like item from this once working snack machine has the word "Ditto" in the title. ...All except one, that is.

Lupus: ...

Yoshiman: The magical one million HP curing JollyJelly. There is one remaining in the world. And NFJ is about to eat it.

Lupus: ...NO! STOP!

*Jumps for NFJ, tackling him to the ground.*

Lupus: Give me that JollyJelly, or I'll kill you!

NFJ: What are you talking about?

Lupus: The one that you're hiding... somewhere! Hand it over!

Yoshiman: Whoops, my mistake. Looks like I had it all along.

Lupus: Grr... meddling JollyJelly stealing humanoid Nintendo characters! I'll get you for this.

Yoshiman: Wait wait wait wait wait wait! I'm willing to give this to you.

Lupus: But at what price?

Yoshiman: You must bring me the legendary sword of Gybaarl, guarded by Bob the Amazing Beast of Many Colours, to prove your courage and strength.

Lupus: ...Can you just give me it? Maybe?

Yoshiman: Uh, sounds easier.

Lupus: Thanks.

"Pair-o'-Dice Lost" by Ditto McCloaker

*Ditto suddenly barges in wearing a huge hulking suit of iron armor, swinging a whirlping spiked mace in the air*

Ditto: BWAAARGH! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!

Flutter: *screams and falls over*

Yoshiman: FLUTTER WAS RIGHT!

Reno: HE IS THE BOSS! AND HE'S HERE! FORGET THE JOLLY JELLY! *gets down on knees* PLEASE don't kill me!

Ditto: o_O *takes of helmet* ~ahem~ As I was saying, "I'm going to kill you all" unless you knock off this ruckus back here. I'm TRYING to tell our first applicant... *turns to Elzie* that of COURSE you're hired. If you still WANT the job, that is... *eyes the crowd of people in a pile all over the floor, and the two lying on top of each other near the spilled-over snack machine*

Elzie: o_O Um... I'll... get back with you.

Ditto: *glares at everyone* You do that. Have a nice day, Miss Ann! And now... *turns to Vorpal*

Ditto: SO... you plan to horn in on our business, eh?

Vorpal: YES! I have MUCHY MUCHY MONEY! You will be UNABLE TO COMPETE WITH US! AH HA HA HA!

Ditto: Our parent company, Nichibutsu of Japan currently has a net worth of over 800 billion yen.

Vorpal: *eyes get all small and a huge sweatdrop forms on his forehead in mid gloat* D-did you say... 800 billion yen?

Ditto: Yup. And ninjas.

Vorpal: Ninjas? *a shuriken thwacks into the wall by his head* I see. Well... ya wanna buy us out?

Ditto: No. Nichibutsu no afraid.

Vorpal: Darn. Well then... I CONDEMN YOUR ARROGANCE! IF I cannot be equal with you here, then it shall be my mission to RUIN ALL OF YOUR CREATION!

*flames rise up around him*

Vorpal: Better to RULE IN VORPALSOFT... than SERVE IN NICHIBUTSU. *disappears in huge ball of flame*

Masamune: Has anyone seen my Pair o' Dice? I think they're Lost.

Ditto: In any case, NEXT. *looks at Reno and Flutter*

Reno and Flutter: YOU'RE next. No, YOU.

Ditto: BOTH of you.

Reno and Flutter: *meep*

~Meanwhile, back at Vorpalsoft~

Vorpal: Curse those Nichibutsus! How DARE they think they can compete with me? Ah well... I shall defeat them... but first, I must summon my crew... SIN AND DEATH!

*two pairs of glowing eyes peek out of the darkness*

Goom: You mean us, boss?

Ba: We're Goom and Ba, remember?

Vorpal: Yes, of course. Goom and Ba. Come. We have much work to do!

Goom: But how will we defeat them, sir? *looking out the window* Even their building looks all neat and clean and shiny, whereas ours is dark and purplish.

Vorpal: Those are our company colors.

Ba: But we're in the middle of downtown Seattle. Sir, it clashes with every other building on this street.

Goom: People are complaining.

Vorpal: SILENCE! Be not intimidated by their sterling reputation or... ugh... shiny building.

Goom: *continuing, while being talked over and ignored* ...property values...

Vorpal: *continuing on, talking over him* We have all we need to carve a small FORTUNE from the video gaming industry!

Ba: What's that?

Vorpal: A LARGE fortune.

*indicates large pile of gold with jewels, crowns, and swords sticking out of it, sitting in a corner*

"Said the Barbershop Man" by Reno the Turk

Ditto: Now, before we begin, I'd like to run you through a little set of terms I've rather hurredly come up with this morning.

Flutter: I'm already about to go to sleep. Please don't.

Ditto: I find your lack of faith... disturbing.

Lupus: Do you mind getting on with it?

Flutter: And why are you interviewing us both at the same time?

Ditto: Well, it is a matter I don't want to go into at this stage, but I'm afraid I might have to. You see, when I was born, I was very young. So young, in fact, that some would say that I had just been born. And that being a fact would've caused me to say "Hey, you're right! I was just born!" That is, of course, if I could've spoken at such a young newborn age. Well, this problem grew and grew, with many people saying "He looks like a newborn!" and this went on and on. Even when I reached 18, I was still getting these comments. Strangely enough, I was getting them more when I was 18 than when I was just born! So, I finally thought "Enough already! I'll join a boyband!" So I ran away and met up with a few other people, where together we decided to form the Berry Boyz R Bak. We raked in the cash! In fact, we raked in so much cash that one of the members of the band suffocated in his livingroom. This, causing us to break up, made me VERY angry. So I started taking my anger out on people less powerful than I. I became bloodthirsty. I bought a huge suit of armor, and a huge mace to match. I roamed the streets at night, scaring and brutally murdering people. But this didn't satisfy my thirsts! I WANTED MORE! PAIN, SUFFERING, CRYING, PEOPLE LAUGHING IN THE BWAHAHA MANNER! I WANTED IT ALL! I WOULDN'T STOP UNTIL I MET MY DEMANDS! And so I took on the job as CEO for Nichibutsu of America so I could torture and underpay my workers. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Lupus and Flutter: o_O

Ditto: Now, where were we?

Lupus: Uh, you were about to say "Here's you're contract. You're in"?

Ditto: You underestimate me, Reno my friend. I know exactly where we were.

Lupus: Uh, the name is Lupus.

Ditto: OK. I got it. Reno.

Lupus: LUPUS.

Ditto: RENO. Yep, gottit.

Lupus: L-U-P-U-S...

Ditto: R-E-N-uh... O! Now that that's settled, lets move on to the bit where I interrogate you.

Lupus: *sigh*

Flutter: I knew this was a bad idea.

Ditto: A bad idea...? A BAD IDEA???? Are you saying that Nichibutsu of America is A BAD IDEA???

Flutter: No, I'm saying that me coming here was a bad idea.

Ditto: Calling me a liar now, huh? I've got a very handy Bahamut summon up my sleeve, and I ain't afraid t'use it.

Flutter: Bahamut... BAHAMUT! ARGHH!! *jumps out window*

Ditto: *eyes turn red* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhem. *eyes turn back* Now, what can I do to get you to jump out the window too?

Lupus: I have very strong willpower, Ditto-san.

Ditto: You do, do you? Well, let's see if you can stand my entire 50-hour Barney DVD collection.

Lupus: ARGH!! *jumps out window*

Ditto: Excellent.

Lupus's Voice: Hey! There's a conveniently placed high-jump mat down here.

Ditto: Wha... what?

Lupus's Voice: Hey, I'm alright! And so is Flutter. Aren't you?

Flutter's Voice: I've been better.

Ditto: That conveniently placed high-jump mat is for my personal gym! Who moved it out there?

Flutter's Voice: Uh, I did sir. I had an inkling that something like this would happen.

Ditto: But my gym... how did you get in there?

Flutter's Voice: There was a conveniently placed key in my pocket!

Ditto: How did that get there?

Lupus's Voice: It put it there, sir. I put the gym key in Flutter's pocket.

Ditto: HOW YOU STEAL WALLET???

Lupus's Voice: I didn't! It was conveniently placed on the front step of this building!

Ditto: ...

Flutter's Voice: If I may ask sir, can we come back up?

Ditto: ...I still have my Bahamut summon and collection of Barney DVDs. Come back up here and I'll show you.

Lupus: EEP.

Author: Mr Sgt Flutter

~down on the high-jump mat~

Lupus: This isn't working.

Flutter: Wait maybe if we found a common interest we could start building up a way to get a job.

Lupus: Hmmm... but what.

~in Ditto's office~

Flutter's Voice: You said you constantly kill people at night.

Ditto: Yes.

Flutter's Voice: Well I constantly assault the elderly and indignant.

Ditto: Only the elderly and indignant?

~on the high-jump mat~

Flutter: This isn't working.

Lupus: I know! We can use my time machine.

Flutter: You have a time machine.

~in Ditto's office~

*Flutter and Lupus appear*

Flutter: We are the president's of the future!

Ditto: No, you are those guys I just tossed out the window.

~later on the high-jump mat~

Lupus: This isn't working.

Flutter: You can say that again.

Lupus 2: This isn't working.

Flutter: I was talking to Lupus 1.

Lupus 1: I'm not Lupus 1, I'm Lupus 15.

Flutter 12: Hey me and the other Flutters invented a Nice Machine. It can turn Ditto into a nice person.

Lupus 4: I doubt it. You don't have the brain capacity to build a nice machine.

Flutter 7: It's not so much as a nice machine as it is a Dodge Ball cannon.

*the Flutters start to shoot the Lupus'*

Lupus: Flutter, Flutter! FLUTTER!

*Flutter wakes up to find himself in Ditto's office*

Flutter: What happened?

Lupus: You fell asleep.

Flutter: I had the most horrible dream. And you were there. And you were there. And I was there.

*Flutter 12 walks by*

Flutter: An he was there... Hey a Dodge Ball cannon!

*Flutter starts shooting Lupus*

Ditto: Lupus, Lupus! LUPUS!

Lupus: *wakes up* Huh, what happened?

Ditto: You fell asleep.

Lupus: Oh...

Ditto: As I was saying...

Flutter: Look out!

Ditto: *turns around to see a giant insect* Ahhhh!

Flutter: Ditto, Ditto! DITTO!

Ditto: *wakes up* What happened?

Lupus: You were asleep.

Ditto: Oh.

Lupus: It's okay.

Flutter: It's long boring situations like this I keep a snack handy. *wakes up* I must have fell asleep.

Ditto: Must have.

"Ditto Wonka and the Gaming Factory" by Masa the loon

~EVENTUALLY...~

Ditto: Well, it seems you have all passed as my staff. Tomorrow we will start placing you in the positions most suited for your skills.

Masa: Ha ha! Luigi's gonna be the janitor!

Luigi: *glares*

Ditto: .... I will now take you on the tour, now be very careful to listen to all the rules... *starts walking with the others*

Flutter: *loosk to his right and sees a bunch of short green-haired clownish people at computers* Hey, aren't those-

DItto: Shh.... listen

"Ooompa... Loompa....
Loompa Di Doo!
We are the debugging facul.....ty!"

Oompa 1: What do you get when you have a syntax error?

Oompa 2: A mispelling programmer!

"And you know exactly where to put the blame...
The executive CE.....O...."

Ditto: *chuckle* Riiight... *cough*You'll be seeing them more later... carry on.

Masa: Ooh... who are these guys...?

Ditto: The game testers.

Elzie: Really...? They look more like they should be in a mental home.

Ditto: They were.

Everyone: o_o;;

*inside*

Tester 1: LET ME OUT! YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO!!!! I'M GOING TO FALL IN THE LAVA TRAP! HEEEEELPPP!!!!

*outside*

Ditto: Be very sure never to listen to any of them.

Everyone: *everyone nods* >_<