Savage Worlds (First Quest)

The first attempt to create a Savage Worlds campaign based on the Party Goers (and other) stories. This attempt was cut short after eight sessions due to various real life concerns, so I tacked on an epilogue that would tie into the second attempt.

Plot Summary

First Session

The setting is introduced in a similar fashion to Gamehiker Member OG XI: If These Bears Could Talk. King Cobalt has recently died and Golem has decided to throw one final party before his coronation. Invitations are sent far and wide, and among the recipients are:

• Dom Teedle, a corpulent and clueless Arabian Prince with a flying carpet, wind powers, and a medicine ball
• Bearphoenix Smith, an emo with spiked hair and blinding bangs, a gigantic switch blade, and a penchant for acting like every Final Fantasy main character ever
• James Henry Bond VII, who I can't really describe yet because he wasn't in the second session, but he's got gadgets and stuff like the real Bond
• Henry T. Man, a British gentleman with a gun built into his tea cup and the head of a unicorn, who is completely oblivious to his condition
• Jimmy, Henry's sidekick who is a short and stout teddy bear with a tie, a chainsaw, and a tricycle

They first run into each other at Arab Dude's Party Supplies store while looking for appropriate gifts to present to Golem; only Bearphoenix successfully manages to pick out a Sonic the Hedgehog figurine.

After harassing Arab Dude a bit longer, they set out for the castle and discover Golem and The Lady in Red being assaulted on the lawn by Donkeyman, two shoddily constructed Donkeyman robots, and several Mariorocks. Unaware of who's on which side, Dom Teedle quickly incapacitates the Lady, Bearphoenix attempts to defend Golem, Bond attempts to reason with Donkeyman and heal the Lady, and Henry is horribly offended that no one has spoken to him yet. While the robots and imps are dealt with, Henry assaults Bond at random and then gives his attention to Donkeyman, hoping to make a profit. Donkeyman implies that Henry could be one of his kin and is attacked for it; his own threats prove useless as Henry strikes with a sword and Jimmy finishes him off via decapitation. Of course, this Donkeyman was also a robot, with the shoddy ones only being there to draw away suspicion. Bearphoenix spots Lord Sky watching them and Golem reveals that the Mariorocks were actually disguised Blue Guards, though he is then distracted by the arrival of Luiigii and GORE-ILLA.

While the Lady in Red sneaks off, the group heads inside to the ballroom, which is actually spherical. Bearphoenix takes the stage and summons his band to help him play terrible, terrible music, while Bond and Dom Teedle socialize and Henry wanders off to find things to steal. The latter comes upon a torn-up bedroom where Liger is sleeping and a collection of sapphire earrings are sitting out. He takes the sapphires and sneaks out. Bond spies Vorpal and Masamune arm wrestling (Masa wins) and challenges them to a match for money. Masamune bets five (clay) doubloons and wins, Vorpal bets one torn half of a dollar bill and also wins. Bond gives up and learns from the nobles that none of them are happy with Golem. Dom Teedle's clueless nature pleases GORE, who leads him on a wild goose chase after the missing Golem. He instead finds SteveT and Straw Man looking down into the ballroom from its glass ceiling four stories up. After some banter, Dom Teedle incapacitates Straw Man with one hit and SteveT breaks through the glass and drops into the party. Bond tries to reason with him as well and is smacked hard enough to be conveniently absent from the next session since his player couldn't be there.

Second Session

While Henry and Bearphoenix rush SteveT, the present Party Goers (consisting of Big Al, Flutter, Vorpal, Masamune, Luiigii, and GORE-ILLA) draw straws made from Luiigii's nose hairs to see who gets to stop him this time--Luiigii's luck fails him. Henry sprays SteveT and Straw Man with a burst of tea, which upsets him enough that he hacks into Jimmy and very nearly kills him. Luiigii sends Slort to heal the bear while the assembled group hack at him. Just before SteveT is taken down, Liger wanders into the room and is sent into a berserk rage when Straw Man throws him some catnip. Vorpal gets up and finishes him off while Henry runs away with SteveT's helmet.

The group goes back to socializing and Flutter is offended at Dom Teedle's accusation that no one else in the group is royalty. "Golem" shows up shortly after and is quickly recognized as an imposter. Big Al explains to the players that Golem swapped places with Rhyk and just didn't want Sapphire to know before they can tear him apart. They hear Sapphire shouting shortly after and follow her voice to the destroyed bedroom, where she demands that someone find Golem. Dom Teedle tells her about Rhyk and she demands that Rhyk find Golem instead. When Rhyk finds the unused TASTS in Golem's room, he gets suspicious and leads the group back to the ballroom, though he picks up the Lady in Red on the way and her identity is made apparent to the group.

Back in the ballroom, Golem is being held hostage by Murasame. His crew surrounds him and holds the Party Goers at bay despite the fact that they shouldn't really be that hard to fight off. Masamune is allowed into the circle so they can have a predictable sword duel, while Krunk and Snipes engage the players who have entered from a back door. Krunk is quickly disposed of, though Snipes keeps his distance and proves more difficult. Dom Teedle grabs Golem and tries to carry him to safety, though Golem protests to being useless and rushes back in...though he's completely useless in the long run. Dom Teedle instead jumps down onto Murasame and crushes him, allowing Sapphire the opportunity to ask if Lord Sky hired him.

Third Session

Murasame refuses to give information about Lord Sky, so the players finish him off and follow the Party Goers outside. Once Murasame's crew has been cleaned up, Golem and Sapphire continue the party on the lawn. Dom Teedle wanders the grounds and discovers an old man in a prison cell; he crafts a saddle for himself and takes the man along. Henry remains in the ballroom and picks up the discarded sword. He is possessed by Murasame, then kills Jimmy and runs for the hangar. After the others find Jimmy's body, Masamune explains the swords' curse to them. He refuses to chase Henrysame, thinking the new guys would try to use him to kill Murasame and sacrifice his own life. Vorpal volunteers to escort them instead.

The group takes off in pursuit of Henrysame (having stolen the S.S. Swordefeller) with a flying submarine and two intergalactic buses. Bearphoenix tries to strike up a rivalry with Vorpal (being madly jealous of his awesomeness) and is completely ignored. They reach the ship and Vorpal lands his bus with style a midst cannon fire from Henrysame, some of which strikes the sub. Bearphoenix tries to show him up by crashing his bus into the ship and diving out. The Swordefeller breaks apart and plummets into a cloud bank, approaching the Atlantic Ocean. Bond, piloting the sub, begins to lose control of his own vessel and falls alongside them.

Vorpal and Bearphoenix attempt to wrest the sword away from Henrysame, but the listing ship and more cannon fire hamper their efforts, as well as potshots from Bond that hit his allies more often than his enemy. Realizing the stalemate, Dom Teedle flies over on his carpet and they form a temporary truce with Henrysame until they can all be flown to the sub. They board and Bond regains control. The Swordefeller is left to its fate as the submarine turns back to Turquoise. However, Henrysame remains as defensive as before despite the players' attempts to reason with him; he doesn't think that they'll let him get away and is ready for another fight.

Fourth Session

The fight with Henrysame continues aboard the flying submarine, where Bond reveals that he's really Irishman Mickey Obama. The players manage to disarm Henry and kick the Murasame sword into the sea. They give Henry the bad news about his sidekick and hand him Jimmy's remains. Back at Turquoise, Henry finds a spot in the castle's front lawn and buries Jimmy there. To repay them for getting Murasame out of his hair, Masamune mentions how they once went to the afterlife to rescue a sidekick and points them to Al.

Al first tells the players that he invited them to the party to be End's latest Talekeepers. He sends them off to the White House to meet Ditto and learn how he saved Guisseppie. The crazy old man Dom Teedle had been carrying around remains behind, as Al had almost give away his identity. The rest grab a flying sub and head to Washington, D.C., where they touch down on the front lawn. They are accosted by Secret Servicemen and try to run, while Henry assaults and severely injures one.

Bearphoenix stumbles upon Guisseppie in a dark room and immediately surrenders himself, while Mick tries to smooth talk his way to Ditto and the other two are taken down forcefully. The Servicemen find a note from Al on Bearphoenix and take all but Henry to see Ditto. Henry is himself injured and taken to be treated, though they intend to lock him up for his actions. In the Oval Office, Ditto agrees to take them to the afterlife and gives them lodgings for the night after Dom Teedle quickly solves a Sudoku puzzle.

Fifth Session

Dom Teedle awakens early the next morning and goes out for food. He finds that all of the local fast food joints are forced to serve brussel sprouts and sprout-based items due to Vice President Deeson's health policies. He gives up his search in a huff and heads back to the White House with the others. They arrive to find that the front lawn has been converted into a Japanese-style garden, complete with rock gardens, arches, and a stream partly hidden by a bamboo wall.

The players cross the stream and are attacked by kappas. Bearphoenix finds some cucumbers (and brussel sprouts) nearby and uses them to calm the demons. However, the front door is locked and two keys are nearby; one is laying in front of a raccoon statue, the other before a fox statue. They guess and get the correct one in front of the tanuki, ignoring the kitsune's. Now inside, Deeson escorts them to the lounge before the Oval Office. Henry is carted in as well Hannibal-style, though is too shocked over learning he has a unicorn head to fight back.

Ditto gives them one more puzzle (the piano is DEAF) which Henry quickly solves. They are locked in the room and sprayed with sleeping gas, but resist long enough to break into the Oval Office. Ditto explains that he wasn't trying to kill them, but merely knock them out as they weren't allowed to see how to get to Q-Space. Dom Teedle agrees after Ditto "promises" not to knock him out, but he and Mick get into a fist fight and the latter wins. Ditto transforms into Bonechill from Super Paper Mario and knocks the rest out himself.

Sixth Session

The players awaken on a boat sailing down a foggy river. With them are a hooded figure, a green donkey, and Tingleton. Bearphoenix and Dom Teedle both try to escape, but Tingleton forces them to stay aboard. After several awkward minutes, they arrive at Fiddler's Green/the Elysian Fields. They immediately fall to the distraction of bars, coliseums, magic shops, and the all-around good life. Only Henry resists and continues forward to save Jimmy, while Tingleton mocks him for not having reliable friends. With a little effort, Tingleton gets the others back on track and they arrive at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter explains that S-Spacers lack free will due to being imagined, so Jimmy was divided and put in every part of the afterlife to determine his own fate. He lets Tingleton (actually Ditto) into Heaven and opens a hole to Hell for the players. They fall past Purgatory and are caught by Elzie and her donkey; she drops them off in Limbo and tells them that Ditto is actually dead. The local damned lead them to Jimmy after being "promised" salvation. Wrapped up in a deep depression, Jimmy attacks the group and they're forced to subdue him.

Elzie meets them back at the mountain of Purgatory, though her donkey is mysteriously absent. They walk up the mountain, as its physics don't apply to the living, and pick up the next Jimmy with much less effort. The group arrives back at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter sends them around back with a camel. They push the beast through the Eye of the Needle and gain entrance. They then release the Jimmy from Purgatory (who needs to stay exactly between Heaven and Hell) and follow him to the next Jimmy, where Ditto is also waiting. Frustrated with their trip and this Jimmy's unwillingness to leave, Bearphoenix impales him and the other Jimmys on his spear.

Ditto notes that there's a fourth Jimmy in Weirdamonium, then opens a portal to it. Once inside, they find Guana Mann and his personalities hanging out there. Cod Almighty arrives with Jimmy in his mouth. The players discover that they can pull weapons and vehicles out of nowhere to fight with, but Cod divides and passes Jimmy about as they hurt him. Ditto transforms into Sturm from Advance Wars and uses soldiers to outmaneuver Cod, allowing the players to finish him. Jimmy is restored and Guana Mann takes him, Dom Teedle, and Bearphoenix back to R-Space. Henry and Mick stay behind with Ditto, as Mick was actually Ditto's spy and Henry is given a chance to clear his criminal record...

Seventh Session

The remaining players arrive in Guana Mann's apartment. They watch Akira Sojo with him for a bit until Mr. Predict suggests that they get going to Golem's coronation. They rent a four-seater sub back to Turquoise, though the players don't question how seven people managed to fit inside. At the castle, Bearphoenix summons his band and starts practicing, Dom Teedle leaves rotten milkshakes in the dining hall, and Jimmy (now a main character due to power he received from the afterlife) calls his cousin Chilly to come be his sidekick. Bearphoenix's music is so terrible that the guards assault him; he holds them off until the other two arrive, and then agrees to quit practicing.

The coronation begins above the ballroom, with the Party Goers and many nobles in attendance. The Party Goers save Golem are noticeably sluggish; when the Vorpriest goes to crown Golem, he is easily subdued by the common guards. Lord Sky enters to the applause of the nobles and guards, none of whom wanted Golem on the throne. He steals the crown and tries to king himself, but Bearphoenix stops him with magic. Sky counters with a cloud barrier that surrounds himself and Golem; Dom Teedle blows the clouds away and the players are shocked to see that Sky has been stabbed by Golem, who is officially crowned. The illusion fades to reveal that this Golem was actually Magic, who calls Bombsy, the Party Animal, and Team Omega grunts into the room.

With the Party Goers still down (due to the Party Animal absorbing their energy), the players and the Blue Guards work together to stop the Omegas. Magic breaks the fourth wall by attacking one of the real life players; as a result, they're allowed to influence the fight by attempting to direct characters not their own. Though Magic almost manages to take control of one of the players, they resist and retaliate by forcing Bombsy to sit down on one of his own bombs, taking him out of commission. Magic is so distracted fighting the players that he doesn't notice as the guards surround and attack him, felling him as well. The remaining grunts rush him to safety.

Eighth Session

Eightch arrives immediately after the battle and demands to know where his pizza is and why he wasn't invited to the coronation, despite being the richest man on the island. He quickly succumbs to party energy loss and collapses. The players decide that they don't care and that they have already saved the day enough, so they return to the ballroom for the free buffet. Rhyk shows up after having inspected the throne room and asks why they didn't finish off the Party Animal, which has now escaped deep into the castle. Bearphoenix reluctantly agrees to hunt it down. They find the creature in one of the castle's towers and, after a fairly quick battle, the animal is slain.

Meanwhile, Chilly arrives at the castle and joins up with Jimmy and Dom Teedle, who have decided to climb back up to the throne room and steal what they can from the Party Goers before it's too late. After some failed attempts, they just use the stairs. Back at the throne, they find that Bombsy has come to. He attacks as soon as they enter, but they use the chairs to form barracks and eventually overcome him. Before they can kill him, Bombsy activates a Bombinator that was hidden within the castle and openly jeers over his victory. The players try to rouse the Party Goers, but none have the energy to fight yet. Mr. Predict is able to discern that the Bombinator is in the hangar and teleports the players there.

Jimmy and Chilly steal a submarine and attempt to fly it away from the island, while Dom Teedle and the recently arrived Rhyk and Bearphoenix search the area for the bomb. A small group of Team Omega grunts and robotic "Omechas" (who attempt to hinder their foes by emphasizing the pun in their name) arrive to hamper their progress. While the players fend off the mooks (with the two bears successfully taking off), Rhyk's scanners pick up the Bombinator within one of the subs. The group rushes to the vehicle, but finds that the door is painted on. The submarine/Bombinator rises and transforms into a giant robot, complete with a ticking timer and the real Golem strapped to its periscope.

The Divine Prank (Epilogue)

Jimmy regretted having abandoned his comrades, whom had scoured the very ends of the Afterlife for him, and turned the sub back with the intent of flying the bomb far far away. Instead he found that Dom Teedle and Bearphoenix had fallen victim to the Bombinator's strength. The animated explosive made short work of his own submarine, slapping it hard into a wall. Chilly had attempted to eject them both, but only Jimmy's seat fired clear, as the former's chair was too weighed down by its occupant. The Bombinator unleashed a miniature version of itself on the fallen sub, erasing it and Chilly from exis

Chilly who?

Anyway, Jimmy drew his chainsaw, intent on going out in style. A voice interrupted him, the voice of his former master. Henry urged his sidekick to flee and, furthermore, to dig up his old body. Jimmy obeyed the command. At the bottom of the freshly dug and lazily shallow grave, Jimmy found his own corpse and a mysterious plot hole. Clutching himself tightly, he dove in. The Bombinator detonated then, erasing Jimmy and everything else; however, thanks to the plot hole, Jimmy's old body and his soul were dropped into Weirdamonium before they could completely disappear.

Jimmy quickly possessed his old body before his soul could be torn in four again. Thanks to his corporeal form, Jimmy was able to retain his earthly memories and desires and vowed this time to set things right. He discovered one of the four pieces of Cod Almighty, the only one that had survived its previous battle with the talekeepers. Cod offered a deal--if Jimmy could find his other three pieces in the Afterlife, Cod would restart the story and give Jimmy a second chance to stop the bomb.

Alone, the teddy bear struggled to complete this task. After a millenia of scouring, stealing, fighting, and dealing, Jimmy was successful. The job had worn heavy on him; he was no longer the cuddly, yet strangely muscular stuffed animal he once had been, but was hardened and aloof. To make matters worse, Cod had only kept part of his deal. Though the story was reborn, Jimmy's fellow talekeepers were not; instead, a new batch had taken their place. Jimmy turned his rage against Cod, but was powerless before the fish and locked away. His final act was to conjure a single notebook, in which he now records his fallen comrades' tale.