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Author: AaronGuy

Long name funtime!


*As the Kradians continue advancing, yet another party shows interest in the planet Krad. However, it's not the recent activities of the planet that they show interest in. It's one individual that is now in the middle of it all.

~Tens of Thousands of miles away from the three planets, a large foreboding humanoid figure sits in a ship that seems a bit small for him. Strangely enough, he appears to be talking to a green crystal. Even stranger, the crystal is talking back.~

Creepy Purple Guy: That planet right there? ~points to Krad~ Are you sure about this?

Green Crystal: Yup. The teleportation readings on the crashed ship match those read from the planet Earth moments before it exploded.

Purple Guy: Excellent. He's as resourceful as ever... Are any of your kin nearby the planet?

Green Crystal: One step ahead of you, my Lord. Earth was sent out earlier today. He should reach Krad within the hour.

Purple Guy: Very good. Let's see if this ship will be able to make it to Krad.. Oh yes, I'll have my Squire back yet..


Back on Krad...


Yami Yoshi: Oh man, this is it..

GORE: Don't say stuff like that, you're making it sound like we're all gonna get killed! See, why can't you be more like this Aaron guy? He's just been thrust into a battle he has nothing to do with, and he's perfectly calm!

AaronGuy: ~spacing out~

GORE: ...AaronGuy? Hello? ~taps his forehead~

AaronGuy: Urgh.. duwah? What? Sorry, I was just thought I felt something.

GORE: You mean OTHER than the small earthquake the stomping footsteps of the Kradian Soldiers is creating?

AaronGuy: Yeah.. nevermind, though..

Yami Yoshi: Whatever, just get ready, because judging by those footsteps, those Soldiers are almost here!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Legion begins firing his pistols randomly, most of the bullets missing, and the ones that don't are absorbed into the Kradians' skin. The Kradians turn their attention from the exact opposite directyion to the Flying Moneky's remains.*

Legion: Right. Bullets DON'T work on superhuman creatures.

*So Legion takes out a sword while GORE prepares his lightsaber, Yami Yoshi holds as many Dark Eggs as he can in his arms, mouth, tail and left leg while balancing himself on one leg. Robobulus charges up some energy of some sort, AaronGuy prepares his sickle-on-a-chain, SSG mounts a tank constructed from the groups' toothbrushes, SwordMaster goes for a change of pace by wielding a sword. That Guy and ??? pick their favorite weapons from the Bag O' Random Crap. PL-0TT changes his hands into deadly pizza slicers while preparing his back jetpack and turning his legs into miniature rockets. And a bunch of Legion's remaining shy guy troops wield giant rifles, completely forgetting Legion's previous line, even though it was the only dialogue so far in this post. Until the next sentence.*

Legion: They're coming!

GORE: Stop hogging the dialogue, dammit!

*Legion lunges at the first Fusion Kradian, holding the sword above his head as he prepared to slash his sword downwards in a crescent shape, but the Kradian slapped him to the side effortlessly. Then the rest of the OGers charged out among the shy guy troops while SSG shouted orders from his tank. Yami Yoshi stumbles about, careful to prevent himself from dropping any of his Dark Eggs. GORE leapt onto the Fusion Kradian 1 and hung from his back while the creature desperately attempted to shake him off. While he was distracted, Legion returned, so GORE, Legion and SwordMaster in the head, heart and crotch at the same time, causing the alien to die instantly from the combined pain. The shy guys enveloped Fusion Kradian 2, who was never seen again. Robobulus blew his way through Fusion Kradian after Fusion Kradian with little effort. That Guy and ??? blew Fusion Kradian 3 away with a filing cabinet and a random woodland creature. Fusion Kradians 4, 5 and 6 tore through SSG's tank easily and were prepared to crush the guy when AaronGuy came to the rescue, summoning a Meteor Shower to crush the 4 and 5 aliens, then sliced the 6 in half diagonally. The group was so distracted that they forgot one person.*

Yami Yoshi: Hey, guys! Wait up! Guys?

*An eerie silence falls upon the planet's surface. A slithering sound is heard in the distance. Yami spins around and squints his eyes oddly in search of the noise-maker, but sees nothing. Yami simply shrugs and moves on before he sees a hulking Fusion Kradian standing before him. The Fusion Kradian raises its hulking arms into the air and roars primitively. The shock causes Yami to lose his balance and tumble over backwards. Insert explosion noise of choice here. When the smoke cleared, the Fusion Kradian was completely annihilated, but Yami Yoshi had been blown to safety in a way that still doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Will they survive or something? Find out in some time or place!*

Author: Introbulus

(As the smoke clears, the OGers are huddled together under Robobulus, a redish shield surrounding them)

Robobulus: Good thing I got my shield tuned before I left the Apocalypse.

Gore: Hey, where did Yami Yoshi go?

Yami Yoshi: I got blown away by the Fusion Kradian. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get lost. (Runs off in a direction)

Swordmaster: Oh great, now we'll never find him in time!

Robobulus: Good thing I put a tracking device on every single one of you when I joined your ranks.

PL-00T: Er...what?

Robobulus: For in case I switch ranks again, of course.

Legion: And we trust you, WHY?!

Robobulus: Because I'm the one who knows where Introbulus is, and I'm a valuable substitute until he gets back. Which should be soon, I believe.

Gangly Guy: Who? Sorry, I haven't been reading the past posts, and I just got here.

Robobulus: Nevermind...

(Meanwhile...)

Introbulus: Wait, am I supposed to be good now? Or evil? @_@ I'm confused...Gamechamp, you're good at these things, do you know?

Gamechamp: ...

Introbulus: I guess I'll just be evil for now...until I figure it out.

(To be Continued)

Note: Robobulus has an unknown age as of now.

Author: Golem

~In a mysterious realm where Introbulus was minutes ago...~

Voice: Where did Introbulus go?!

Messenger Eerie: Sir, word from the Soul Lab. Introbulus is being ripped from your grasp. They suggest that you quicken the--

Voice: He's already gone, Messenger. But thank you anyway, and return to your duties...

~Elsewhere...~

Author #6: While we were distracted, it has ruined Introbulus' character!

Author #1: Let's get it together! We have to prove ourselves!

~Wherever Introbulus is...~

Introbulus: ~clutching head~ Ugh... I just can't get it...!

Gamechamp: Woah, come on, you're EVIL, remember?! ~grabs Introbulus by the shoulders~

Introbulus: It just feels like I'm being ripped apart... and not just in a mental sense!

Gamechamp: ~squeezing Introbulus' shoulders together~ Get it together!!

~Meanwhile, on Krad, Yami Yoshi is heading for...~

Yami Yoshi: I dunno! But these gestures usually advance the plot!

PL-0TT: ~hovering beside Yami~ Slow down, Yami Yoshi!

Yami Yoshi: Why should I?

PL-0TT: I have something crucial to give you! ~takes out pieces of paper that have intricate maps of Krad~ Master GORE said that these maps showed up in his hands without reason! ...And please slow down!

Yami Yoshi: Why should I?

PL-0TT: Because, according to these maps, there is a--

~Yami Yoshi falls into a hole in the ground (about three meters deep) that was previously well-hidden, but its disguise was ruined by Yami's weight.~

PL-0TT: --pit up ahead. I will give immediate assistance...

Yami Yoshi: Would'ja?

Author: GORE-ILLA

PL: No!

Yami: What?

*PL-0TT sheds its skin, revealing XB-0TT.*

Yami: The hell?

GORE: What did you do with PL?

XB: It's an extremely long and complex explanation which I won't delve into now to save the already bewildered minds of our readers. But of course you know that where I am, there is bound to be the rest of...

MON-KILL: ...Team Monkey, assemble!

Mousie: I'm Mousie , man! I might not know karate, but I know ca-razy!

Ol' Bessie: Moo!

Bullwinkle: I'm Bullwinkle. I like cigerattes and cheese.

Diskun: I'm Diskun. I don't have any witty catchphrases.

Mecha-Pinchy: Mecha-Pincy CRUSH!!!!

XB-0TT: I'm XB-0TT! I am a shape-shifting robot created to rival PL-0TT!

EVIL Scientist Dude: I am EVIL!!! Mwahahhahaaaaa!!

MON-KILL: I'm MON-KILL! My only goal is to destroy GORE!

Team Monkey: And together, we are Team Monkey!

Yami Yoshi: Are you still going to help me out of here?

XB-0TT: No, but I have filled it with flesh-eating parasites if it's any consollation.

Yami: Crap.

Author: Golem

GORE: ~to Robobulus~ You help Yami Yoshi while we take care of our map theives!

MON-KILL: Bring it on!!

Fusion Kradian: GRAAAGH!!!

AaronGuy: We've got bigger fish to fry right now!!

~Robobulus dashes over to the pit. It's shallow enough that he can lean over and pull out Yami Yoshi, though it is a tight fit for Yami.~

Robobulus: Why didn't you just flutter jump out?

Yami Yoshi: ~dusting dirt off of him~ Wasn't enough room... think that robot was telling the truth about those parasites?

Robobulus: How should I know?!

~Robobulus immediately steps aside to avoid a dashing Fusion Kradian, who falls in the pit. The Kradian immediately begins itching himself all over, frustrated, while Yami scratches at a rash on his arm...

Elsewhere, Black Skull Dragoshi finds himeslf crawling through an endless and encroaching tunnel. He stops as he comes upon a part where he must choose between three paths--go left, go straight, or go right...
Something tells him to go left...
And he goes on the left path.
Along the way again, he stops again to listen to faint voices. Is that a dog's bark...?~

Kradian Voice 1: ...move Cerberus to the Holy Plot Device.

Kradian Voice 2: I will return shortly with a crew up to the task, sir.

Author: That Guy

Tg: *wakes up again* Wait, so we are on some alien planet, fighting an alien army or something. And now Team monkey is attacking us?

???: Just read the posts.

TG: I'm to lazy for that.

*after reading posts*

TG: Oh, I see. *searches the bag 'o' random crap while the rest fight*

*A MONKEY member, we'll just see Bullwinkle, sneaks up on TG*

TG: Hey! Pepper spray! *sprays bullwinkle*

Bullwinkle: MY EYES!

Tg: Yay! *Sprays other MONKEYs*

Author: Introbulus

Introbulus: Sooooo...shouldn't we go get the OGers?

Gamechamp: That's a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?

Blue: You did, sir.

Gamechamp: Oh yeah...uh...okay, let's go do that! Introbulus, take us there!

Introbulus: They're right over there! (points to the VGF OGers)

Gamechamp: What? Why are we on Kriad?

Introbulus: A hole in the space continuum?

Yellow: I think you mean the space-time continuum.

Introbulus: Nope, just space.

Author: Golem

Yellow: Let's go get 'em!

Black: Woah, woah, hold up!

Introbulus: We have no idea what these goons surrounding the OGers are like, and whether or not they can do our job for us...! We're far enough off that those monsters might not notice us...

~A few Fusion Kradians take notice of the station wagon, and three go away from the battle to pick it up. They then start carrying it off to who knows where...~

Gamechamp: I advise we all bail!!

~Meanwhile, in a lonely lab on Krad...

Fusion finds himself once again in a mysterious tank built for him... just like...

--Begin flashback--

Head Scientist: *writing in journal* Dear Journal, we are almost done with Project Fusion. It involves creating the universe's strongest being for good. To make him as powerful as he is, we simply called in each known warrior to give up one of their cells. Then, we created an artificial human that is modeled physically after Ganondorf, we started the growth acceleration, we transfered the cells into him, we transfered immortality juice into him, and finally we started the activation sequence. It has been several hours since we started the activation sequence. Now, it is finished. We call this fighter "Fusion." He will know every attack and defense in the universe. I give myself a pat on the back.

Scientist: Sir, you should check on Fusion's tank.

Head Scientist: Okay.

*So, they go to Fusion's tank and see Fusion all wired up.*

Fusion: Help me!

Head Scientist: Patience, my friend. When you get out, you'll have more power than any warrior in the universe. You'll know every attack and defense.

Fusion: Let me try it out!

*Suddenly, Fusion starts surging with energy. He breaks his tank with the energy.*

Fusion: Ah, fresh air.

Head Scientist: That was pretty good. Now to get you some clothes.

*Soon, Fusion puts on hi-tech armor, a hi-tech helmet, and a black cape.*

Fusion: Cool!

Head Scientist: Alright, you're ready to be drafted to the French Foreign Legion.

Fusion: French Foreign Legion?

Head Scientist: Uh, yeah. They asked us to make you for them.

Fusion: So, I'm just an ordinary soldier, eh?

Head Scientist: Uh, well, you see...

Fusion: *starts surging with energy* I'm not going to be a soldier at the French Foreign Legion! ARRRRRRR!

Head Scientist: Oh no, we must evacuate! *picks up microphone* Evacuate the laboratory! Project Fusion has gone haywire!

*With that, all the scientists leave, and the security droids try to subdue Fusion, but they are blown up. Suddenly, the laboratory explodes, but Fusion is unharmed.*

Fusion: What have I done!? I caused this destruction! I'm just a threat to the world!

--End flashback--

Fusion: Just a threat...! I must redeem myself!! But I can't use my powers to escape... I ended up unconscious last time I tried that...

~Fusion spots a closet next to his tank that is labelled "disabling syrum for Fusion Kradians."~

Fusion: If I can just get to those, I can stop that Hades and poison his "sample" of my "blood to power up his troops"! I can still use brute force... right?

~Fusion starts punching the glass directly in front of him of his tank again and again. To his joy, he isn't passing out, and throws fist after fist. However, the glass shows no signs of cracking...~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Fusion's tank slides open and the liquids drain. Fusion looks around in confusion.*

Saru: You owe me one. Where's Dragoshi?

Fusion: They have him somewhere else.

Saru: At least there he won't be blown up by a certain godmodder.

Fusion: (glares) You know he won't stay on our side when he learns of his past, but I can't kill him before he accomplishes his life goal. At least he'll die with his full memory.

Saru: What makes you think he won't stay on your side?

Fusion: Well how do I know you're spying on the MPVP and not for them?

Saru: But what makes me think you've really quit Team Rocket?

Fusion: That's it, time for some senseless violence!

Author: Golem

Saru: Think before you act! I doubt you want to destroy that over there. ~gestures to "disabling serum for Fusion Kradians" closet~

Fusion: So you ARE spying on them!!

Saru: They don't want it gone either!! Why do you think they have it in the first place?! However, its existence... in such abundance... makes your Achilles heel a big, flashing target!

Fusion: Rrgh... what do I do?!

~Fusion and Saru stand facing each other, ready to battle, but neither one of them starting the fight. Suddenly, Fusion dashes up to Saru and slams him right against the closet.~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*The cabinet smashes and all of the tonic is destroyed.*

Saru: See? That wasn't so hard, was it?

Fusion: I don't get it. Shouldn't there have been a shield or something there?

Saru: That's what the MPVP hoped its trespassers would think.

Fusion: Aha! So you do work for them!

Saru: No, I just have a better plan. If we had gathered the tonic, any jerk could tear the Anti-Fusion from our hands and toss it at you without a second thought. Now we can take care of these guys by hand.

Fusion: I still don't trust you, and once again raise the solution of senseless violence!

Saru: I second that, Rocket Boy!

Author: Golem

~Elsewhere, GORE-ILLA and MON-KILL find themselves at a stalemate, with no opportunity to gain the upper hand.

A Fusion Kradian interupts this by swiping its claws at both GORE and MON-KILL, flinging them both in the direction GORE was facing. They both tumble into Legion and Bullwinkle, and the four notice a quick, small space ship flying in the sky...~

Legion: Looks like it's scouting the area... ~gets socked by Bullwinkle~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Legion chucks a Shy Guy at Bullwinkle, knocking him out cold. Mecha-Pinchy assaults Robobulus, but is flung away by Robo's metal powers. So Mousie goes ca-razy on SwordMaster and is aslo dispatched easily.*

EVIL Scientist Dude: What's going on? FINISH THEM!

*EVIL Scientist Dude pulls a Big-Ass Gundam out of his Spider-Man 2 backpack, then boards it and fires missiles at random, which only seems to irritate Yami Yoshi. Ol' Bessie is also rampaging until she's knocked out cold by Heavy-Ass Anvil(tm) which was extracted from ???'s Bag O' Random Crap and used by That Guy. Speaking of crap, taht is the same substance which AaronGuy has just beaten out of Diskun.*

GORE: Looks like the spaceship has left my line of sight.

MON-KILL: It was just two feet away from us.

GORE: Them's fighting words!

*GORE and MON-KILL begin clashing with their lightsabers along a tall Kradian cliff. MON then kicks GORE, causing him to drop his lightsaber and tumble off the cliff, but he hangs onto a branch hanging from the tree while MON-KILL waves his duel-sided lightsaber around menacingly above. GORE immediately leaps into the air while pulling his lightsebr back into his hand via the Force. GORE lands right behind MON-KILL and slashes the lightsaber horizontally, splitting MON-KILL in half at the waist as his two hlaves fall from the cliff.*

GORE: That takes care of that.

MON: XBBBBB....

*XB-0TT immediately rockets to the area with rocket jet feet.*

XB: PLOT DISTORTION!

*The screen blinks, and MON-KILL appears atop the cliff in one piece with his lightseber on hand.*

MON: So what're you gonna do now?

*GORE flings his lightsaber like a spear, and it impales XB-0TT before GORE pulls it out with the force. XB smokes as he descends to a rocky landing.*

MON: ... (runs away)

*Elsewhere, EVIL Scientist is crying in the ruins of his demolished robot while Yami juggles his Dark Eggs boastfully.*

GORE: Thatr's the end of that chapter!

Fusion Kradian: Not yet, ass-wad!

Author: Yami

Legion: Now to fight this massive army we've been oblivious to for the past several posts!

Meanwhile several thousand feet above the OGers…

*Several Militian Scouts orbit around the Krad; small, spherical ships used for monitoring the enemy and reporting any disturbances back to base*

Inside a Militian Scout…

*A Militian Soldier dozing off in cramped confinement the ship’s cockpit is jolted awake by the shrill sound of an alarm*

Militian Soldier: *sleep bubble pops* …huh…what…the enemy radar!

*The Militian Soldier wipes the drool off his mouth and examines a tiny screen on the ship’s dashboard*

Militian Soldier: It’s the Kradian Army! But who the heck are they fighting…?

*The Militian Soldier presses a few buttons on the dashboard and the screen zooms in on the OGers*

Militian Soldier: …what the hell…kids?!? What do they think they’re doing fighting the Kradian Army?! I better contact the commander…

*The Militian Soldier presses a few buttons on the dashboard, and a hologram of Commander Daishogun materializes on the screen*

Militian Soldier: *saluting* Commander Daishogun!

Daishogun: What is it, General Milton?

Milton: Kradian Soldiers! Thousands of them! And that’s not all…there’s also this small group of kids…fighting them!

Daishogun: Hmm…are they Militians? Hiltians? Hephaestians?

Milton: One of them resembles a Hilitian swordsman, but I don’t think the others are from any of the nearby planets.

Daishogun: Interesting…how many of them are there?

Milton: There’s only about seven of them…and they're all kids!

Daishogun: Hmm…I’ll go down there and check it out myself…

Milton: W-what?! You’re gonna go down there…by yourself?!

Daishogun: Heh heh…Don't worry. There’s a reason I’m known throughout the galaxy as “The One-Man Army”. I’ll give those Kradians a little demonstration of my Daisho Gun…heh heh heh…

To Be Continued…