Gamehiker Member OG 2 Page 3
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Author: SOAP[edit]
Marin: *collaspes onto her knees* Mmmmwahhh! My legs hurt! I can't keep walking like this! Dontcha think we've lost that dumb sword guy by now?
MJ: Hmmm, you're probably right. *stops walking*
Marin: Where the hell are we anyways? There's all these tall buildings and people and cars everywhere... it looks ugly!
MJ: *looks around* Hmmm, looks like we've walked all the NYC. I know a guy here who can help us rescue Luigi.
Marin: What's the deal with you and that stupid hobo anyways? If he wasn't our cousin I'd say he was your boyfriend.
MJ: Shut up.
*MJ holds out his hand to a signal a taxi. A yellow cab pulls over to the curb beside them and take them to a small apartment in Manhattan.*
MJ: Well this is the place. *rings the doorbell*
???: *via intercom* Yo.
MJ: It's me, MJ. Lemme in!
???: Sure thing, cuz. *buzzes him in*
Marin: Hey! He called you cousin!
MJ: Yeah, we have alot. Why do you think our Thanksgiving dinners take so long? You stay here though.
Marin: Why!? Is cousin like your secret code word for gay lover and your going there to do something perverted?
MJ: Marin! Just stay here. It won't take long.
Marin: No! I'm goin with you to make sure you don't do anything gay in there.
MJ: Okay you can come. But he might not recognize you. He was in a horrible accident a few years ago and lost alot of his long-term memory.
Marin: Seemed to recognize you just fine. *rolls eyes*
MJ: Whatever. Just let me doing all the talking, alright.
Marin: Okay!
[later, inside the apartment....]
*a taller version of MJ with more reddish-looking hair, green eyes, and slightly asianitic features greets them looking like some bohemian meterosexual*
LJ: Hey cuz! What brings you in my hood?
MJ: Hey Luigi Jr. We need a favor. Luigi's been kidnapped.
LJ: My pops!
MJ: No. The our cousin Luigi. Lucila's grandson. He came to our last thanksgiving wearing a white cap.
LJ: Oh yeah! I thought he was some hobo coming in their to steal our food. So what's the deal?
MJ: He's been abducted by aliens... or some ancient swordmen. I forget which.
LJ: Aliens, eh? Funny you should mention that. There was a UFO sighting not to long ago. It was all over the news. It's some sort of giant spaceship hovering oven a cornfeild in the midwest. Millions of people are already up there holding up signs to welcome our new vistotors. It's supposed to be like the party of the millenium or something. I was about to go down there myself to see if it was for reals.
MJ: Hmmm. I have a bad feeling about this. This might be bigger than Luigi being kidnapped.
LJ: Hey, who's the saucy chick with you? She's hawt!
Marin: !!! I'm his---
MJ: GIRLFRIEND! Girlfriend, yes. We've been dating a for a few months now.
Marin: *stabs MJ in the leg with her finger nails*
MJ: Ooowoh! Yes... she can be a bit fiesty.
LJ: Hey, she kinda like Laura almost?
Marin: Who!?
*LJ opened his mouth in reply but MJ had already grabbed Marin and darted out the door*
LJ: Well.... that was odd.
[Meanwhile, in the midwest, a large crowd had indeed formed underneath Uragay's ship]
Lady in Red: What's the deal with all these people coming out no where?
Hamilton: I don't know. But if they don't get out of here they're all going to get killed.
Vorpasame: *stops his slicing for a while* What the hell?
Airheaded teenage girl in the crowd: Look there's one of the aliens hanging off the bottom of the ship!
Some other egually airheaded teenage girl: Wow he's gorgeous! I want to have a million of his little green babies!
Airheaded teenage girl in the crowd: Nuh-uh! I called him first!
Luigi: *Sweatdrop*
Carson daily: Hi, this Carson Daily from MTV, now taking you live to UFO site where a crowd of scantly dressed teenagers have gathered together to greet our visitors from afar. This is amazing! Our first contact with extraterrestial lifeforms. Folks, you could see history in the making.
[Aboard Uragay's ship...]
Hungary: Lord Emperor! It seems a large crowd of humans has formed beneath our ship.
Uragay: Stupendous! The man animals have finally decided to surrender to us afterall. How many is it?
Hungary: Looks like 90% of the US and some of what these humans called "Canada."
Author: Murasame[edit]
Uruguay: Excellent! With all the humans gathered, it will be easy to destroy them! Prepare the cannon!
Hungary: What about finding Antonio?
Uruguay: We shall find his remains, reanimate them, and THEN make him suffer! Best not to waste time, you know.
Hungary: Prepare the cannon!
---
*A spire of metal on the spaceship begins to glow green. Coincidently, the same one that Vorpasame is hanging from.*
Vorpasame: Aw crap.
*Vorpasame leaps down, scoops Luigi out of the crowd, and runs away at immense speed. A large crowd breaks off and follows, including Yami Yoshi, Hamilton, and Lady in Red.*
Luigi: Hello? Did I miss something?
Vorpasame: You miss everything, but that's beside the point. The aliens are about to fire their weapons. We retreat... for now.
*A beam of green light shoots out of the spire and into the sky.*
Vorpasame: Wait... what? That's not a cannon! How dare they try to trick me?! *throws Luigi down and shakes his fist at the ship* You win for now! But I swear I shall have my revenge!
*In response, the ship makes strange alien sounds... actually, they sound exactly like a bad Dial-Up connection.*
---
Communications Tech: Dammit! Disconnected again! Can we PLEASE get a freakin' High Speed connection, Lord Emperor?
Uruguay: Only if it's coming out of your check. Now, are we connected?
Communications Tech: For the next fifteen minutes, maybe.
Uruguay: That's enough. Initiate chat program!
Communications Tech: Initiating...
*A viewscreen appears in the middle of the bridge. At the top of the screen are the words: "You have entered chat #axisofpizzarevenge". Uruguay turns to a keyboard in front of him.*
NOT_a_gay69: guys? r u tere?
Fleetman2: htpobipdoit;clb Lord Emperor.
NOT_a_gay69: yoose tihs langwage it taeks 2 long 2 lode teh translater
Fleetman2: Yes Lord Emperor. What is your command?
NOT_a_gay69: gather teh flet!!!! it is tiem!!!111
Thefullone: and bring some sammiches while youre at it
NOT_a_gay69: dammit hungry! get off teh lien! yur slowng my conexshun!
Thefullone: sorry lord emperor
Thefullone has left the room.
NOT_a_gay69: taht idot
Fleetman2: I agree Lord Emperor. The fleet is on its way.
NOT_a_gay69: vary god! adn 1 mor ting...
Fleetman2: Yes?
NOT_a_gay69: ur tipng sucks!!!!!111 it beter b betr wehn i com bakc!
Fleetman2: It will Lord Emperor. My apologies.
Fleetman2 has left the room.
NOT_a_gay69: mweh heh... mu hahaha... HARHARHAR!!!!!!1111one111
NOT_a_gay69: o he left...
NOT_a_gay69 has left the room.
---
Luigi: Now what?
Vorpasame: We wait until the appropriate time, when our evil can be exacted with the utmost precision.
Luigi: When's that?
Vorpasame: We will know...
*The large crowd gathers around Vorpasame.*
Luigi: Like now?
Vorpasame: It's a start, though hardly deserving of my awesome power.
*Vorpasame rises and draws his sword.*
Ditz1: He's like, so hott!
Ditz2: I know... he's dreamy!
Vorpasame: Yes ladies, but even your flattering sentiments can't save you from what's coming next.
Yami Yoshi: Stop!
*Yami Yoshi, Hamilton, and Lady in Red jump in front of Vorpasame. The crowd conveniently makes a circle around them.*
Yami Yoshi: I--crap, what's the plan again?
Hamilton: Lady in Red, being the only one with a blade, distracts Vorpasame while you hit the sword out of his hand with an egg. Then I grab the sword and we finish him off.
Vorpasame: You do realize that my incredible sense of hearing just heard the entire thing, right?
Yami Yoshi: Uh... that's just the fake plan to trick you into not knowing our real plan!
Vorpasame: Sure.
Yami Yoshi: Agh! He called my bluff! He is so smart and incredible!
Hamilton: Go!
*Lady in Red swings her parasol-blade thing at Vorpasame, who casually blocks. Yami Yoshi throws an egg, but Vorpasame spins and cuts it in half, then turns back around with more than enough time to block Lady in Red's next attack.*
Yami Yoshi: He's too fast! We can't win!
Hamilton: We must!
Lady in Red: Any time now, guys!
*Yami Yoshi begins throwing eggs rapid-fire. Vorpasame barely has to speed up to continue his defense. Suddenly, he switches into offense and stabs Lady in Red in the gut.*
Lady in Red: O_O
Yami Yoshi/Hamilton: Oh my god!
*Lady in Red collapses. Vorpasame turns to them.*
Vorpasame: Don't worry. I left her alive. Even if I am pure evil, I can be chivalrous. You two--
Hamilton: Yeah, we'll just take her and leave now...
Vorpasame: DON'T INTERRUPT!!! I was saying, you two won't be so lucky.
Yami Yoshi/Hamilton: Eep...
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Hamilton: Unless...
Yami Yoshi: What?
Hamilton: I called up some old friends for help a while ago, but I honestly don't think they'll come...
*A flying submarine swoops down. A wire is lowered. Yami and Hamilton, holding Lady in Red over his shoulder, grab it and the sub immediately flies off as the ditzes distract Vorpasame again. Soon they climb into the sub and find...*
Hamilton: Yoshiman? Mr. Predict? Roy? Tech Sgt. Toad? Metal Mario?? I can't believe it! You got my call?
Yoshiman: What call? I just remembered my evil plan from the first GMOG- it was to reassemble Team Missile for some evildoing!
Hamilton: Really. Don't you notice anything differant about me?
Yoshiman: Did you lose weight?
Hamilton: Kinda the opposite actually. Well... let's start the evildoing!
Yami: What?
Hamilton: First of all, this woman here needs serious medical attention. She knows were we can find an ancient amulet that can cause mass destruction!
Yami: I'm pretty sure she doesn't-
Hamilton: And then we need to find a way to stop this rampaging superhero called Vorpasame. He's done too many good deeds to live!
Yami: Vorpasame is defiantely not a-
Hamilton: There's also a bunch of crazy aliens who have abducted three good guys. Despite their goodness, we can use them as hostages in our bank heists.
Yami: Hostages?
Hamilton: With those problems, we also need to find the... Robot King, so he can be overthrown and then the world will be ours!
Yoshiman: Excellant plan!
Mr. Predict: (smiling knowingly) I foresee great sucess.
Tech Sgt. Toad: You still got it, sir!
Roy: Great to have you back!
Metal Mario: Well let's get to work!
Yami: I don't get it.
Author: SOAP[edit]
*suddenly there was loud honking coming from afar. Everyone turns around to see an Antonio's Pizza Delivery truck plowing the crowd of people trying to jump out of the way*
Vorpasame: What the...?
*the trucks runs right over him*
Luigi: wow... that was... anti-climatic.
*the truck swerves around and runs over him again. Only to run over him a third time in reverse. It kept doing this, repeatedly, until Vorpasame was a mangled pulp. Once the horrorific display was over the truck swung around to Luigi's direction and MJ came flying out and landed at his feet.*
MJ: Land!
Marin: *at the wheel* Quick! Get your arses in the car now!
*That's when Vorpasame comes out now where, seemily unscathed by Marin's crazy driving, and holds up his sword to her neck!*
MJ: Marin! Nooooo!
Vorpasame: You two Mario's have hindered me for the last time. You should've stayed in hiding where it was safe.
Marin: Impossible! I tore you to shreds! You should be dead...
Vorpasame: I guess you didn't do a thorough enough job. Your arrogance will cost you.
*Marin jammed her elbow into Vorpasame groin. To her dismay, it had no effect*
Vorpasame: Nah-uh-uh! None of that till after the first date.
Marin: You... you're not even human!
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Vorpasame: Yeah, so... *stabs Marin in the gut (how original!), grabs Luigi, and runs*
MJ: Marin! Nooooooo! *picks Marin up in his arms* I can't keep doing this! I'm almost out of tissue samples!
Marin: Um. I'm not dead.
MJ: Oh!
Marin: What do you mean tissue samples?
MJ: Um. I mean... those sample packets of tissues you get at the store! I'm almost out, and you KNOW that I'm too cheap to actually buy any...
Marin: Considering you, that actually sounds valid. Now, um, I might need a doctor...
MJ: There's no time! That horrible man has just captured Luigi again!
Marin: More like Luigi is his willing accomplice again.
MJ: *jumps into the driver's seat of the truck* Insignificance! *drives after Vorpasame*
Luigi: Yeah, that was smooth and all. But I think you need to kill the guy instead. The girl doesn't like me or something.
Vorpasame: Noted.
***
Lupus: Here, at the start of it all!
Fred: Why does it smell like rotten eggs here?
Lupus: It's Yami's house, duh.
Narrator: Fred and Lupus enter Yami's house, and find it mysteriously deserted.
Fred: Of dessert! Some bastard ate all of the cheesecake!
Lupus: Oh, they'll pay. Dearly. But we seem to have missed them by a time remarkably appropriate to make us look like blundering fools when we are in fact pwnsome villains when we want to be. I hate it when that happens.
Fred: When pix happens.
Lupus: But look! They have conveniently left a trail! *points to cheesecake crumb trail* Obviously we're meant to follow this. Which is why we won't.
Fred: Can't argue that.
Lupus: Let's use... THE BACK DOOR!
Fred: This is the side door.
Lupus: Yes.
Author: Masamune[edit]
~Meanwhile...~
Garbage Man: So you're trapped back in your sword, then?
Masamune: Yup. When I get beaten, I get all stuck-i-fied again.
Garbage Man: And how do you get out?
Masamune: Well, I dunno. I think I just project a representation of myself. Or maybe I have to touch blades with the Murasame. I'm not entirely sure, I left my Instruction Manual back home.
Garbage Man: You have a MANUAL?
Masamune: Yeah, Merlin made it after he cursed me. He, Mura, and I all have one. It's terribly complex. I know a certain loophole existed though... if I could only get to it...
Garbage Man: Erm. You want I should get your book?
Masamune: No no. Just you know, take me there.
Garbage Man: Okay. *picks up the Masamune, but suddenly starts glowing...*
*BLOOP!*
Narrator: In an instance, the grouchy, overweight, poorly groomed, and rather smelly Garbage Man was transformed! Or rather, he was given some new clothes. The hat, coat, and such that masamune dearly loved. He also received the pointy ears and eyepatch. Oh, and Masamune's personality and complete control.
Garbamune: At last! *looks at self* Ugh. This will have to do for now. *looks at Garbage Truck* Well it's no S.S. Swordefeller, but it'll do. *hops in* Vorpasame, your seconds are numbered!
---
Uruguay: This world destruction thing is taking too long.
Hungary: Our main OMGAWESOME Beam was severely damanged by the strange human who was surrendering to us on our ship.
Uruguay: That was no surrender! He tricked us with a false submission so that he could sabotage our plans! That FIEND!
Hungary: Blow the planet up, right Lord Emperor?
Uruguay: What? No! Such insolence must be punished PERSONALLY. Send out HIM.
Hungary: No! You don't mean?
Uruguay: Yes. Congo. Donkey Congo.
Hungary: But he'll kill off the guards who open his cell, just to prove how bad arse he is!
Uruguay: It's a sacfrifice I am willing to make! Nobody but I can cross me!
---
Luigi: So where are we headed to?
Vorpasame: What did you eat before I found you?
Luigi: A cheesecake. It was good.
Vorpasame: EXACTLY! The last cheesecake. I must sacrifice you to the Carrotcake King to gain more power.
Luigi: I don't like this idea.
Vorpasame: But.... YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!
Luigi: Oh, well since you put it like that... *jumps out of the car*
MJ: I'm coming Luigi! I'm coming! *car thumps over something*
Marin: What was that? *covers bleeding wound again as she looks behind them*
MJ: I'm coming Luigi! I'm coming!
Marin: You have a one track mind. But fortunately the blood loss has made me too dizzy to properly care. *passes out*
MJ: Oh. Er. To the hospital!
Author: SOAP[edit]
Narrator: And so MJ gets Marin to the hospital where she was rushed to the ER. Fortunately, her injries weren't too bad and was quickly stabilized*
MJ: *at Marin's beside* How ya' holdin' up, kid?
Marin: Fine... If wasn't so tired though I'd start making heads roll around here.... the food here is nasty.
MJ: Heh.
Marin: MJ... I just remembered something...
MJ: Eh?
Marin: What did Mama and Papa look like?
MJ: Erm... wouldn't that be forgetting something?
Marin: I dunno... It just suddenly hit just now... I remember being raised by them... and I remember talking to them just yesterday... but for the life of me, I can't rember what they looked like.
MJ: It'll come back to you. Don't worry. It'll be fine, you'll see.
Marin: Will it MJ? I don't even know who I am anymore...
MJ: *grabs Marin by the hand* You're my sister.
Narrator: And thus concludes MJ and Marin's subchapter for the remainder of the OG.
Marin: Hey! You can't just write us out of the OG!
Narrator: But not before, in a bizarre turn events, Marin's mouth was erased.
Marin: Mffft!
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Hamilton: So I think we should handle Vorpasame first. If we don't, he'll commit even more of that good--
Yoshiman: Heck no! We're taking on the Carrotcake King!
Hamilton: But...
Yoshiman: Hey man, who's the one with the ship?
Hamilton: *grumble*
Tech Sgt. Toad: We're approaching, sir.
Yoshiman: Whoo! Battle positions!
Narrator: Everyone moves to stand in front of the ship's hatch.
Yoshiman: Let's do this!
Narrator: Tech Sgt. Toad and Roy leap out of the ship and go straight for the guards. Hamilton secretly grabs a sword from a collection on the wall, and then he, Yami Yoshi, Yoshiman, and Metal Mario leap out, running for the throne room.
Lady in Red: Good... luck...
Mr. Predict: Shh. You're not well enough to go with them.
Lady in Red: Who said I wanted to?
***
GORE: *picks his fingernails* Someone had better buy a carrotcake soon...
Narrator: The door bursts open. Yami and co. enter and make a cool pose.
Yami Yoshi: Your reign of tyranny has ended, Carrotcake LOSER.
GORE: *glares* Are you threatening me, Master Gamehikers?
Narrator: GORE's laser sword slides into his hand. He leaps up from the throne, igniting it in mid-air... and then the phone rings.
GORE: Gah! Every time! Excuse me a moment. *picks up the phone* Yo?
Yami Yoshi: No excusing! Attack now!
***
Luigi: Oh no! I've been betrayed by Vorpasame and run over by a car! I'mf going to die alone and nakeds! *stands up* Oh wait, I'm fine. But this is a predicament... How am I going to get back into Vorpasame's good graces now? As soon as he sees me, he'll try to take me to the Carrotcake King, unless... I give him something that both he AND the Carrotcake King wants...
DUN DUN DUN
~Cheesecake Factory of the World, conveniently located by a volcano~
GORE (on phone): Uh huh, uh huh. *clashing sounds* So you've shut down every cheesecake maker?
Manager: That we have, my lord.
GORE: Excellent. You will be handsomely-- COMEONI'MONTHEPHONEHERE! --rewarded. Has my Royal Treasurer arrived yet?
Manager: He just got here.
GORE: Good, now if you'll excuse me...
Manager: One question though, my lord. Should he look like a hobo?
GORE: WHAT?! *bzzkzzrt dial tone*
Worker1: What was that last thing he said?
Manager: Sounded like a yes. Let him in!
Narrator: Worker1 runs to the door and opens it, letting a shrouded figure in.
Worker1: Ah, Mr. Royal Treasurer! Let me be the first to welcome you--
Luigi: Very well, you will be the first. *flips back hood*
Worker1: You-You ARE a hobo!
Narrator: Luigi kicks Worker1 in the groin, then turns to the other workers, who are huddling away from him. He gives him a maddening grin and holds up his laser sword. The workers scream and run into the other room, save for one girl who trips.
Worker2: We-we were promised a handsome reward!
Luigi: I am the reward. Do you not find me handsome?
Worker2: Please! PLEASE!
Narrator: Luigi swings his laser sword through Worker2. Seeing as it's perpetually low on battery, it doesn't actually hurt her, though it's enough to make her pass out. Luigi calmly walks after the other workers.
***
Narrator: Outside the factory, the lights slowly begin to turn on. The sound of working machinery and the smell of cheesecake fills the air...
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Yami Yoshi: ...I smell cheesecake!
*Yami leaps out through a glass window and runs off towards the Cheesecake Factory.*
GORE: Now where was I? Ah yes, preparing to ANNIHILATE you.
Hamilton: That word gets really annoying with all of those Y7 shows.
Yoshiman: Plan time plan time!
Hamilton: Well we can't hurt GORE. We'll have to force the Carrotcake King's soul out of his body. But how?
Mr. Predict: My psychic powers can- but he'd have to be greatly weakened.
Tech Sgt. Toad: Ah! I acn put some of my machines together to make a maskeshift neural disrupter taht could disable GORE's machinery will yuo drive him out. Roy will have to help me assemble it though.
Roy: Great idea! But GORE would need to be standing awfully still first.
Yoshiman: Leave that to me.
Hamilton: And I'll distract him in the meantime. (everyone stares) What? I can hold him!
*There's no time for arguments as GORE chooses this moment to spring into action. Tech Sgt. Toad and Roy quickly begin tearing weapons apart to put together their neural disrupter. Hamilton draws the sword he took and faces off with GORE.*
GORE: Ha! You think an ordinary sword can vanquish me?!
Hamilton: It wasn't the sword that made me! It was my spirit!!!
*GORE slices Hamilton's sword in half with one slash from his laser sword.*
Hamilton: Okay, so it was the sword.
*GORE swings his laser sword at Hamilton, who dodges until he's finally cornered. Suddenly Garbamune crashes through the glass window next to the one Yami had leapt out of earlier and blocks GORE's finishing stroke.*
Garbamune: YAAAAAAAAAAAAA- wait, you aren't Vorpasame. Whatever.
*Garbamune sees Vorpal and smirks.*
Garbamune: Here, catch!
*Garbamune flings the Masamune Sword at Hamilton. he catches it and his features change to match Masamune's.*
Hamimune: Let's finish this!
*With the new power, Hamimune holds GORE back until everything is ready. First Yoshiman streaks past naked.*
GORE: AUGH!!! MY EYES!!!
*While GORE is covering his eyes, Tech Sgt. Toad launches the neural disruptor and causes GORE's systems to temporaily shut down.*
Mr. Predict: Get the hell out of GORE's body Get the hell out of GORE's body Get the hell out of GORE's body Get the hell out of GORE's body
*Carrotcake King's soul is forced out of GORE's body, but he rests his eyes on Hamimune.*
Carrotcake KIng's Soul: Ah, a new host!
Roy: Noooooooooooo-
*Roy leaps into the way and is possessed by the Carrotcake King's soul.*
Roy: Wuh-oh.
*Roy is easily restrained by the other Gamehikers. With the restored GORE, they rush back to the sub where Metal Mario waits with the Lady in Red.*
Hamimune: Axe one more subplot...
Author: SOAP[edit]
Marin: Axe what subplot?
Yami: Hey! I thought you guys were written out of the OG?
MJ: *scratches his head nervously* Well, actually... Marin kinda gave the narrator an early vacation.
[elsewheres, in a dark, dimly lit Truman-Show-eque control rom...]
Narrator: *huddled up ina corner bound and gagged* Mffutputta!
[back to the Hamimune and the others...]
Marin: Heh, heh. I don't think he'll be narrating anytime soon.
Hamimune: Is she allowed to do that?
GORE: *shrugs* Mario's do whatever the hell they want anyways.
Marin: That's right! And unless you wanna end up like him you better not forget that!
MJ: *Sweatdrop* I'm so adopted.
Author: Masamune[edit]
~And explosion interrupts all~
Vorpasame: I arrive! Now you shall all suffer my wrath!
Hamimune: ARGH! *swings sword against Vorpasame's sword, the result causes a blinding light*
GORE: I think I missed something.
~When the dust settles, all that remains is Hamilton lying on the ground. Around him is a katana blade and two broadswords. The ensuing flash also levelled most of the Carrotcake's throne room, revealing to be actually on top of a huge cake factory, with one huge boiling cake vat underneath them all~
Mario Jr.: You know, you'd think the Vorpal Sword would be a broadsword and the others ones katanas.
Garbage Man: *throws Masamune manual into MJ's hands and walks away muttering*
MJ: Oh...
Hamilton: *picks up Vorpal Sword* At last....
~flash!~
Vorpal: I RETURN!
Yoshiman: So I guess I'll just grab these two swords...
Everyone: NO!
Yoshiman: *causes the two swords to come in contact* Oops?
Masamune: Free!
Murasame: Free!
Masamune: You!
Murasame: Wimp-face!
Masamune: Why you! *leaps at him*
Murasame: *pulls electric gun out of Sgt. Toad's hand and uses it to electrocute Masa*
Masamune: Yeeeeeeaaaargh!!!!!
Vorpal: You had an electic gun!?
Masamune: Voooorpaaaaal!
Sgt. Toad: Well, I just...
Vorpal: And you didn't use it!? WHY!?
Masamune: Heeeeelp meeeeeee!!!!
Murasame: You shall pay for your lack of respect!
Masamune: What are you waiting for!? Throw him in the cake vat!
Murasame: Now Masamune... you will die! Ahahaahaha!
Vorpal: Eh. *looks back and forth between the two* The cake is mine. *walks away*
Masamune: Noooooooo!!!!!!
Murasame: *shoots one last jolt, knocking Masamune out*
Roy: Hey wait, I'm the villain! The cheesecake is mine! *hops on Vorpal*
Vorpal: Agh! *tries to pull him off* Get off, you freak!
Roy: *reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a small orb with a crumb of cheesecake in it*
Murasame: Hey, he had cheesecake! How!?
Roy: *leaps off Vorpal* Yes! My precious cheesecake! *dances around near walkway* Precious! Precious!
Vorpal: *suddenly pulls Electirc Gun out of Murasame's hand and shoots Roy*
Roy: Ack!!!! *trips over rail and falls into cake vat*
Murasame: You fool! Mixing just a small bit of cheesecake with carrotcake will cause the factory to explode!
MJ: We have to escape!
Yoshiman: Has anyone seen my pants!?
Yami: Every man for himself!
Vorpal: Villains and minions first!
~Adminst the chaos of everyone running around, Masamune is still unconcious. He's now alone, except for one figure...~
Luigi: Aha! ... *looks around* Great, I'm late.
~An explosion causes the walkways to buckle, it rolls Masamune to the side. He suddenly wakes up and grabs the side~
Luigi: Oh. Er.
Masamune: Help!
Luigi: Give me your hand or something. *reaches down* Reach.
Masamune: *looks down*
Luigi: Don't let go. Don't you let go. Reach, already. I ain't gonna wait all day.
Masamune: *reaches his hand into Luigi's, who pulls him up*
~They both escape the building, just as it explodes into cake goodness~
Vorpal: Whew. We made it out.
GORE: That was close.
MJ: We won!
Yoshiman: No. Won we have not. Begun the Cake Wars have.
Vorpal: Do you think Roy survived?
MJ: If anybody could survive it... not him.
GORE: He has the Carrotcake King in him though.
Vorpal: You're right. We'll have to regroup with the others.
Masamune: *rests on the pavement* It's over. It's done.
Luigi: No it's not.
Masamune: Oh.
Luigi: I'm leaving now.
Masamune: Oh...
Luigi: Gone. *leaves*
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*In the Ushatarian spaceship, guards shove the shacked Golem and Rhyk to Uruguay's throne.*
Hungary: The almighty Uruguay says you are to be executed... immediately.
*All the guards raise their guns.*
Hungary: Although by "immediately" he means "in battle with some giant stereotypical monster which you'll probably destroy anyway".
Rhyk: You don't know the mistake you're making Uruguay! You could be filthy rich!
*Golem and Rhyk are led offstage.*
Uruguay: Bah, this Jabba parody isn't coming out too clearly. Stupid author, using lines only from memory because he doesn't want to rewatch the Original Trilogy again until after Episode III! Where's my slave girl?
*Kuria enters in her normal clothes and holds up a metal bikini.*
Kuria: What is THIS supposed to be?
Uruguay: Your slave dress, lady! Now get a-changing!
Kuria: No way, you have cameras hidden in every room of this ship! I'm not your slave!
Uruguay: She can't say that! Shoot her, or something!
Hungary: Patience, Uruguay. She will die. Sometime within the next hundred years, provided there aren't any variables that increase her life span or grant her immortality. It's only a matter of time!
Uruguay: What? Execute him too.
Hungary: Master? What are you doing?
Uruguay: I have no son. Hmm... that line probably would have burned him if he actually was my son. Oh well.
*Hungary and Kuria are led into the room with Golem and Rhyk.*
Guatemala: Hungary.
Hungary: Guatemala.
Guatemala: Looks like that spot at Hungary's right hand is open.
Hungary: Oh you must be dreaming.
Guatemala: I assure you that I am most concious. And after I oversee your execution, I'll be the aitting next to Lord Uruguay and mindlessly following him.
Hungary: Oh yeah? Well I farted in my chair before we left!
Guatemala: Enough stalling! Time to head for the execution area!
*Guatemala's ship detaches from Uruguay's and makes off for somewhere.*
Hungary: (turns to Golem, Rhyk and Kuria) So what's the plan, guys?
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Golem: The plan is for you to keep your freaky alien tentacles over there while we think of a plan.
Hungary: I'm hurt deep down inside. *curls up into a ball in the corner of the room*
Golem: What's the plan?
Kuria: We aren't exactly bound. It wouldn't be hard to overtake them.
Rhyk: Sure, like how we overtook them when they first captured us.
Kuria: There's not as many this time.
Lupus: I think you should let us handle this.
Golem: What the? Why do you guys keep poppin' up out o' nowhere?
Fred: We got lost.
Lupus: The Carrotcake King is dead, so we spent many years applying for new jobs and suing when they didn't hire us. And then we got here.
Kuria: This OG has theoretically not even been a day long yet.
Lupus: Yes, well, we spent so many years that we randomly drifted to these aliens' homeworld and joined their fleet just in time to be sent to earth and warped back in time to invade.
Golem: So there's like two Lupuses and two Freds, now?
Fred: Like there's two of your mom.
Golem: Where are the other two?
~Elsewhere~
Lupus: I sense a disturbance in the cheese.
Fred: God, did you rip one off again?
Lupus: I think the Carrotcake King is dead.
Fred: Carrots don't die. They live on inside all of us.
Lupus: Great, so we're out of a job.
Fred: Let's apply there! *points to Canadian Dude's Grocery Store*
Canadian Dude: I cameo!
~Back on the ship~
Rhyk: How exactly do you plan to get rid of these aliens?
Lupus: With our super-awesome alien pwned technology™!
Narrator: Lupus and Fred whip out a pair of rubber band guns.
Fred: Don't try this at home!
Rhyk: *Sweatdrop*
Author: Masamune[edit]
Uruguay: All is proceeding, as I have foreseen. Has he arrived yet?
Guatemala: Just now, Lord Emperor.
~A humanoid figure in a robe steps forth~
Uruguay: Ah, my Earthly Contact. Were you successful
Hooded Figure: The Carrotcake King is no more.
Uruguay: Good, good. And those so-called saviors of cake and mankind?
Hooded Figure: The OGers? They are weak. Divided, scattered, leaderless.
Uruguay: There is one who could unite them. One who could reclaim the planet from destruction.
~Meanwhile~
Yami: I didn't get any cake!!!
Lady In Red: Oh for the love of...
~Donewhile~
Hooded Figure: Fat chance.
Uruguay: So be it. Every OGer is now an enemy of the Republic.
Guatemala: We're an imperialistic dictatorship, sir.
Uruguay: Details! So, Murasame. You wish this planet to be spared. Naturally I am not willing to give up vengeance for poor pizza delivery.
Murasame: *pulls pizza out from under hood* Ah, but thanks to your time travelling, the pizza here has arrived five minutes before the deadline.
Uruguay: ... oh. Well. But still, we came all this way. If I don't destroy it...
Murasame: I shall rule it. That is, rule it for the Ushatarian Empire, until the time comes that their empire stretches to this galaxy - you will already have a formidable base for galactic conquest.
Uruguay: And intriguing proposition. What do you want in return?
Murasame: Teach me the ways of your technology.
Uruguay: Hm. The Ushatarian Science is a pathway to many powers that some would consider... unnatural.
Murasame: Still, is it possible to learn this science?
Uruguay: Not from an Ushatarian.
Murasame: Er, what?
Guatemala: We do not create our own science. It is below us to use our minds, unbefitting of creatures of out superiority. Therefor we let our slave-race of Lobster-Men do all the brainstorming.
Uruguay: Indeed! Indeed they do. And when their minds get so hot from inventing and theorizing, they overheat their brains and boil their bodies. Wonderful thing, very tasty. I'm actually... rather hungry now.
Murasame: Very good. *turns to watch the battle with the others down in the arena*
Lupus: We did come here to rescue you, after all.
Golem: Really?
Fred: No.
Rhyk: *sees giant metal door opening* I've got a bad feeling about this.
Golem: You have feelings? A robot with feelings! Wow!
Rhyk: It's just a saying... nevermind.
Kuria: Stop arguing, we have to get out of this!
Lupus: Well excuse me, we don't have time for a commitee.
Kuria: I'm not a commitee!
Golem: Yeah, I mean, we werent' even talking about one. Where did that come from?
Lupus: How about SHUT UP.
Golem: *sniffs*
Fred: Here it comes!
~the door opens, and they all scream in horror as they hear:~
Creature: Wobuffet!? *bounds out into sight* Woooooobuff!
Author: Fred[edit]
Narrator: The heroes valiantly hold their poses from the last post as I tell you about it. Oh yeah, they're fighting Wobuffet!
Private Nepal: Magic dust, make my monster... GROW! (The dust flies onto Wobbufet, making him very dirty, and sneeze.)
Golem: Can't we... y'know... destroy it? Easily?
Fred: Look, it's the fearsome monster AND it's been sprinkled with that special dust. It's too dangerous. If you attack it, I'll just have to kill you.
Rhyk: Chances of positive outcome if Wobuffet is fought: 100%. Chances of me talking like a robot should anymore: 0%. Well, my calculator had a good run.
Lupus: The facts add up to you being a nerdfaceser. Now, our only hope is to sacrifice one of us in hopes that the monster chokes on the bones and dies.
Kuria: It doesn't even have teeth.
Golem: I don't think it even has any decent offensive moves.
Rhyk: Watch out, it's about to use tail whip! Or something. I wasn't really paying attention.
Fred: YOU HAVE ANGERED THE DARK GODS! THERE'S JUST ONE CHANCE. WE CAN ONLY STOP THE Y2K.0053 something bug BY DESTROYING THE MOON.
Kuria: Or... (Kuria fires an arrow and it kills Wobbufet who was never taught counter or mirror coat or whatever I never used them shut up)
Lupus: Impossible.
Golem: It's dead.
Lupus: Impossible.
Rhyk: It's fluids are gushing and it has no pulse. All my sensors and censors decree it dead and or "sent to another dimension".
Lupus: Impossible. Also, you said you'd stop being a robot.
Rhyk: I know the price. (Attempts Hara-kiri, but ends up having a body too strong to be pierced)
Wobbufet: ...I'm dead, okay? I'm not even a real wobbufet, I was a high payed actor. That looked really... real, didn't it? But you have to determine what on television is real, and what isn't. This is a message from concerned childrens advertisers.
Fred: Fare. Now, to save New Zealand!
Golem: You're forgetting a big part of that.
Lupus: Yeah, Austrailia as well.
Fred: I'm so sorry.
Rhyk: That won't cut it. Oh jeez, while we we talking, they surrounded us with death, pain, doom, AND DESTRUCTION! GET YOURS, NOW!
Fred: While you were out.
Hungary: It's me to the rescue!
(Hungary is shot in the ear, and burned at a stake, then thrown into the earth's atmosphere)
Hungary: I'll be back!
Golem: I hated him anyways.
(Kuria hides behind Lupus, finds an oppertunity, and attacks. Fred tells this one Ushatarian things about footstools that makes him shoot himself in the ear, burn himself at the stake, and jump into the earth's atmosphere. The rest die of natural causes)
This one Ushatarian: I'll be back!!!111seventeen
Murasame: Why don't you just shoot them?
Guatemala: You know the rules.
Murasame: No, I really don't. Where are those lobsters?
(suddenly, the lobster army busts in the door, and loads their built in laser-claws with suffering extract)
Lobster Commander: Arr, we Lobsters will fight for our rights!
Uraguay: What right?
Lobster Commander: I forget.
Uraguay: So, no problems with us re-enslaving you?
Lobster Commander: Sure, go ahead.
(Meanwhile, on earth)
Yoshiman: Guys, I'm getting cold here.
Vorpal: You can borrow Mas- nah, you'll lose them again. Grab a towel or something.
Yoshiman: I SAID I'M GETTING COLD.
Vorpal: Well, we only really used you until the Carrotcake King was dead.
Yoshiman: What.
Masa: Yeah. We're taking the sub.
Yoshiman: It's voice operated.
Vorpal: What we meant was, to say, you aren't going to let your planet go to waste, are you?
Yoshiman: Better. Now give me those pants. Until they come off again.
(also Meanwhile, back at the ranch)
The Lone Ranger: I'll never make that jump!
Ice Cubed: Then hop in.
(also also meanwhile, in R-Space. Well, that's pretty much anywhere. In the sub...)
Yoshiman: The police are after us.
Vorpal: We're ten-thousand feet in the air. The army is more likely following us.
Yoshiman: I knew that.
GORE: Make a left here. I have some unfinished buisness to attend to.
(five minutes later)
GORE: Switching to Geicko saved me fifteen minutes or more on car insurance!
Yami Yoshi: You! I thought we might find you here!
Vorpal: What, really? That's a pretty big coincidence.
Yami Yoshi: No, we were kinda aimlessly moping.
Lady In Red: This OG is only like three pages long, but I'm game to the end.
(MJ and Marin show up)
MJ: We found you!
Marin: Will you bring us along? I won't take no for an answer.
YY: You could have just said "bring us along", posing a question was totally unecessary.
GORE: How'd you find us, anyways?
Marin: Some people working with a Canadian shopkeeper. (wink)
GORE: Fred and Lupus?
Marin: No, and that's all I'm saying about it. The nerve. Don't touch me!
GORE: What.
YY: We're off to stop the antagonists!
Yoshiman: This isn't public transportation, you know! There isn't enough room for... really any of us. How were we even fitting before?
Masa: Don't even bring up problems, or they actually exist. This PIECE of well crafted material won't get us up to the step-mother ship anyways. GORE probably weighs half a ton alone.
GORE: I'm a metal Gorilla. If you want metal Gorillas, you're going to have to accomodate.
YY: Don't worry, I have a plan.
(spinning black background scene change)
(homage to another OG)Introbulus: No, you can't borrow my flying interdimensional station wagon. I'm installing a tailpipe extension.
(spinning black background scene change)
GORE: Golly, now we'll never save the world!
Lady In Red: Wait, I just might have nothing to help us out.
Masa: We'll have to take the intergalactic bus.
Vorpal: What?
Masa: Don't you know anything?
Vorpal: Not about intergalactic buses, obviously.