Member OG 8 Page 3
| Pages in the Member OG 8 Archive |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 |
Author: Golem[edit]
~On the planet Mystery, a beautiful white castle stands in the middle of a large seagreen moat. A pristine navy blue drawbridge lowers across the moat as Vladmir Notavampire, with Saru in his hands, approaches the outside of the moat. Vlad crosses the drawbridge and enters the castle.
Soon, Vladmir enters a room. Its walls are white while its carpet is navy blue. In the center is a blue table of a shade slightly paler than the carpet, at which a man sits. He has a young-looking face--no wrinkles, but his hair is gray. He also wears a pale blue suit coat and dress pants. Another man stands behind the man in the chair. This man looks like a version of Fred with blonde hair, only wearing a navy blue sports jacket and navy blue dress pants. Vlad sits Saru in a chair in a corner of the room before sitting himself at the table. After a few seconds, on Saru's chair, metal handcuffs emerge from the arms of the chair, locking Saru's hands in. Metal also pops out of the lower part of the chair and locks Saru's ankles in place.~
Vladmir: ~looks to the man sitting down~ Sir StuMan, Sr., ~looks to the man standing up~ Sir StuMan, Jr., the infiltrator has been found.
StuMan, Sr. (the gray-haired guy in a navy blue sports jacket): Very good. What is his name, and what does he know?
Vladmir: He is known as Saru, he knows I'm a bounty hunter, and he knows that the Kingdom of Disco plans to build a cheesetrooper army.
StuMan, Sr.: Very good. ~takes out a piece of paper, hands it to Vlad~ Take this to the dorky guy in the lobby, he'll pay you.
Vladmir: Yes, sir. ~turns around and leaves room~
StuMan, Sr.: Sigh... Saru probably thinks we're associated with Lupus. So many believe that the power of cheese cannot be used for good.
StuMan, Jr.: I dunno, I'm kinda hungry for a quesadilla now.
SM Sr.: Junior, go see if the Robo Scouts know anything about Saru.
~StuMan (Jr.) leaves the room. Soon, he arrives in a room carpeted with green. Along the walls on his left and right are bookcases filled with books, while the wall in front of him has a shelf.~
White: Roll call!
Teal: I am Teal, and I copy Green's power!
Orange: I am Orange, and I copy Yellow's power!
Purple: I am Purple, and I copy Black's power!
Pink: I am Pink, and I copy Blue's power!
White: And I am White, and I copy Gamechamp's power!
All: We're the Robo Scouts, the sisters of the Robot Team and the databanks of Earth 1.
~On the shelf in front of Stuman sits the heads of the Robo Scouts. Their bodies are nowhere to be seen.~
StuMan: Do you gals know anything about a guy named "Saru"?
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
???: You get one anyway!
***
(Luigi and Sapphire float through the halls of the Cheese Star.)
Sapphire: . . .
Luigi: . . .
Sapphire: . . .
Luigi: . . .
Sapphire: . . .
Luigi: We should probably talk, to expose the plot.
Sapphire: Yeah.
Luigi: So I guess we gotta find our bodies. I hope we didn't get buried. That'd be messy...
Sapphire: It might help if we knew were we were first.
Luigi: Some kind of moon?
Sapphire: It's no moon... it's a space station.
(A Cheesetrooper bursts in before the rip-offs can continue.)
Cheesetrooper: You're not supposed to be here! (pulls out gun)
Sapphire: Sapphire Shield!
Luigi: Luigi Fireball...
(A blue shield appears around the spirits, deflecting the Cheesetrooper's shots. A ball of fire shoots out of Luigi, hits the Cheesetrooper, and sets his pants on fire.)
Cheesetrooper: Liar liar! (runs away melting)
Sapphire: Why did we just call our attacks? And since when do I have a shield?
Luigi: Must be the new style.
(Another Cheesetrooper enters. Luigi flies forward and into his mouth.)
Cheesetrooper: Hey!
Luigi: Yo.
Cheesetrooper: Why am I talking to myself?
Luigi: Sapph?
(Sapphire rams into the Cheesetrooper's forehead, knocking him out.)
Luigi: Thanks. Wanna share?
Sapphire: No.
Luigi: I think we should check one of these cells that conveniently appeared on the wall.
Sapphire: Suit yourself.
(The Cheesetrooper unlocks the nearest cell and steps inside.)
Princess Lila: Aren't you a little short to be a Cheesetrooper?
Luigi: Yeah yeah, where are we?
Lila: Are you mocking me?
Luigi: Just tell me, lady.
Lila: You're on the Cheese Star.
Luigi: Cheese Star? This stinks of Lupus...
Lila: Well, it was Lupus's until Koopa Xtreme took over.
Luigi: Sure. I need to find Lupus's bedroom. His diary probably says where our bodies are.
Lupus: I don't keep a diary!
Luigi: His journal.
Lupus: Thank you!
Lila: Waitaminute... You've been sent to save me!
Luigi: What?
Lila: You know Bat-Ear Mirawk!
Sapphire: Luigi!
Luigi: Yeah, um, no. Don't escape, or something. (floats out of the Cheesetrooper and into the hall)
(Sapphire floats near a giant map on the wall. There is a red dot that says 'You are here' on one corner, and 'Lupus's bedroom' on the opposite corner.)
Luigi: All the way over there? We'll never make it by the end of the post...
(A piece of paper next to the map flutters mysteriously. Above it is a sign that says 'Plans to the Cheese Star. Do not read, touch, take, place inside R2-D2, give to the Rebellion, scribble on, masticate, burn, crumple, cut, water, walk, throw, de-tape, clothe, eat, steal, or paper.' Luigi grabs it.)
Sapphire: How'd you do that?
Luigi: I dunno. (holds it out to her)
Sapphire: So according to this, there's some sort of Cheese Beam that could turn a planet into cheese. How retarded.
Luigi: According to this counter conveniently on the wall, we only have approximately 166 posts until earth is cheese.
Sapphire: I guess we have to shut it down, too.
Luigi: No. We have to wait until there's only one post left to shut it down, obviously. Looks like we'll be gone by then.
Sapphire: Good. Let's go.
Author: Yoshiyami[edit]
Yami Yoshi: Hey! Aren’t you That Guy’s sidekick?
???: Which guy’s sidekick?
Yami Yoshi: ~rolls eyes~ Never mind…
???: Anyways, do you guys have any information regarding the Party Goers?
GORE: Why are you searching for them?
???: I’m sorry, but that’s classified information.
Kuria: Then why should we tell you anything?
???: …wait a second…Kuria Eiren?! Aren’t you one of the Party Go—
~Suddenly, Kuria steps forward and smacks ??? across the face/hood. ??? dizzily staggers backwards towards the conveniently opened VolksMonkey window and falls out.~
Kuria: ~Vorpal’s voice~ I’m sorry, but that’s classified information…
Author: Fred[edit]
(On the cheese star, in a private room, Koopa grasps a small, metallic hard drive, which looks vaguely like an ifamicom or whatever the crappy disk famicom is called, you know the one)
Koopa Xtreme: Look closely, Wesus. This is the Limitless Drive!
Wesus: Looks like a tape recorder. SO DOES YOUR MOMMA!
Koopa Xtreme: This is why Lupus went to England, gypsying the work of Thedorik. This... THIS will create our unstoppable army!
Sir Sur: But the economy isn't prepared for such deliciousness!
Koopa Xtreme: Quiet!
Mayer, Oscar: AND WHO GRANTED YOU THIS INFORMATION?
Koopa Xtreme: Well, I, uh...
(The close in on him)
altogether: WHO? THE WHO?
Koopa Xtreme: Well... (does the two fingers poking into each other thing)... Lupus kind of yells his plans while he's in the showers... and- HEY STOP BULLYING. This device can be programmed with the MIND, and heart. GO PLANET! It also operates the same code into infinity, processing any amount of information at a nigh-on infinite pace! It can create cheesetroopers for as long as we have materials... And we have materials, alright.
Sir Sur: No! Anything but that! Apple Jacks taste like they do for a reason! It just needs to be thought out!
Koopa Xtreme: No, the other thing. Vladimir is dead to us. No, upon my scans of earth, I found quite the stash of Lupus clones. To have him serve me would be the ultimate revenge!
Wesus: Actually, I still think we're under the impression that you're loyal to Lupus, and... well I guess this makes you the government! How can the government say the wrong things? Aieee! (Phazers himself in the head, killing himself)
Sir Sur: Crap, that was ain't his stunt double, neither. Dayumn.
Koopa Xtreme: However, combine said device with those pearls tax free, and we're full of deliciousness. The pearls are capable of automated thought processes, making a fully powered and reasoning beast of automative destruction and creation, with half the fat, and full manipulated by me! Caillou! Bwaahahahahrareareawrwerwerawrewerwerwrwr AROOOO
(meanwhile, back at the ranch (dressing))
Rhyk: This is boring! Someone let me out, or I'll probably end up breaking the door... or something. You know, I'll figure it out.
(A cheesetrooper flies into the door, knocking it off it's quite sturdy hinges)
Lila: Your wish is my command.
(Also meanwhile)
GORE: Um, Yami, you okay?
Legion: In all fairness, you were a nutcase before, but now there's three souls in there? That CAN'T be healthy.
Chizu: Yeah, I'm not cut out for dealing with this kind of problem. We'll need like thirty trained psychiatrists for Yami.
Kuria: Great. So our only course of action is to do?
GORE: We must assault the cheesestar. If it fires again, it might actually hit the planet. You know. Might. It's never going to happen, but remember, the pressure has to be there.
Legion: We don't have an army. I can barely pilot this thing, too. And what about Planet Mystery?
GORE: What about it? It's PAST the Cheese Star, remember?
Chizu: So we actually need a plan of attack. Which... means we're screwed.
(Also also meanwhile, in space, Fred and Lithium frantically race to not have their heads explode by racing to nearby ASTEROID base (not acid) L.5)
Fred: Whew. Now hold me.
Lithium: Stop that. Why didn't we just forsake awesome and honor or somesuch garbage by following Koopa?
Fred: We blindly follow Lupus, okay? I've fed you far too much propaganda for you to fail me at this point in time.
Lithium: You're right, just like those wacky European roads can never be! What is this place?
Fred: It is the first breeding place of horror. AKA, an orbital Oprah taping center. This is our ticket to ride.
Lithium: But there's two things to do! Water Melon, Fruity Punch, I WANT BOTH!
Fred: Well, I GUESS I can sort out the cheese star if you AIDS master Lupus.
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Robo Scouts: (shrug)
StuMan Jr.: Whatever, I'm going back to the dining room.
*All the OGers sit in thought on the VolksMonkey bridge.*
GORE: This isn't an easy thing to plan...
Yami: Hey, y'know what? Screw the plan!
Kantii: Hubba-wha?
Yami: Yeah! Let's not waste time planning and just hit that thing with everything you've got!
Chizu: That's suicide! You can't be serious.
Yami: I can when I want to! Let's just attack this cheeseball and see what happens!
Kuria: What? Legion, shut him up!
Yami: Let me ask you this: do any of you have a better plan?
Everyone: ...
Legion: ...Let's go. (pulls lever)
*The VolksMonkey flies towards the Cheese Star. As they approach, GORE meets with Kuria/Vorpal.*
Kuria: What, GORE?
GORE: I wanna talk to Vorpal.
Kuria: ...Hello? Vorpal? Can't you hear this guy? He's talking to you.
Vorpal: I know what he wants to talk about it. And I'm not saying anything.
GORE: C'mon, I know you know something about my past! All you Party Goers do!
Vorpal: I can't, GORE. It's better that you don't know. A lot better.
GORE: Hmm... what if I saved the other Party Goers? Would you tell me then?
Vorpal: No. But I would appreciate it very much.
GORE: The only hard part would be finding and defeating Rhyk and finding your bodies. PL-0TT can take it from there, and maybe he can bend the plot to fix up your bodies.
Vorpal: Awesome.
GORE: Then it's settled. You'll tell me my past then!
Vorpal: Um no-
GORE: Excellant!
*Vorpal is about to continue when Yami rushes in.*
Yami: We're approaching the Cheese Star!
*The VolksMonkey flies towards the Cheese Star. GORE begins vibrating wildly.*
SSG: What's up with him?
Yami: Uh-oh...
GORE: Cheesecheesecheesecheesecheesecheese....
*GORE smashes through the VolksMonkey window and flies through space straight towards the Cheese Star.*
Chizu: ...What was that?
Yami: The remnants of an old plot device. Around cheese GORE is turned into a superpowerful moron until all cheese within his vicinity is devoured.
Legion: So you mean...
Yami: He's doing our job for us.
*GORE latches to the side of the Cheese Star and begins digging through it with his teeth.*
Sir Sur: Something mad weird going on, Xtreme one!
Koopa Xtreme: What is it?
Sir Sur: A crazy-ass gorilla is... eating the battle station.
Koopa Xtreme: Oh hell no. I heard of this when I reread the older OGs. Get him out of here, now!
Sir Sur: How?
Koopa Xtreme: The teleporter thing!
Sir Sur: Yokay.
*A beam fires at GORE and teleports him away.*
Yami: Oh nuts.
*Elsewhere...*
GORE: Where am I?
Stuman Sr.: Any idea what this gorilla is doing on our table, son?
GORE: Stuman?
Stuman Jr.: GORE??
GORE: Where the hell are we?
Jr.: The Planet Mystery.
GORE: Ah! You're going to help us take down the cheese cloning facility?
Sr.: We are the cheese cloning facility.
GORE: Umm... whuh?
Jr.: Yes, we've been experimenting with cheese cloning for a while. Armies of the ultimate hybrid- part man, part cheese!
GORE: They don't seem too bright though.
Jr.: Well some bugs need to be ironed out I guess.
GORE: And why are you giving your clones to Lupus?
Jr.: Money. We need it to continue our research, and we're sorry but there's no other way. But at least we made sure he got the stupidest of the lot.
Sr.: Would you like a tour of our cheese cloning facilities? You can smell the steaming cheese clone ovens from here.
GORE: (sweats) Yes... yes you can... I-I notice it know... the... smelling.... OMG CHEEZ
*GORE dashes down the hallway. Stuman Jr. suddenly remembers GORE's cheese thing and dashes out after him.*
Jr.: No, stop! You'll ruin everything!
Author: Yoshiyami[edit]
~Yami Yoshi sticks his head out of the VolksMonkey’s window (since OG characters apparently have the ability to breathe in space) and searches the surface of the Cheese Star for GORE.~
Yami Yoshi: Damnit! Where the hell is GORE?!
Kantii: Maybe he chewed his way inside…
Yami Yoshi: No, I can see his teeth-marks, but I don’t think they would be deep enough for him to get inside…
Chizu: PL-0TT, do you think you can pinpoint GORE’s location?
PL-0TT: NOT MASTER GORE! ACCESS DENIED!
~Suddenly, PL-0TT morphs into a tank and fires several missiles at Chizu. Yami Yoshi dives in front of Chizu and activates his Egg Shield just in the nick of time to dissipate the incoming missiles.~
Chizu: Whew…thanks Yami…
Yami Yoshi: ~deactivates Egg Shield~ Great, what are we supposed to do now?
Legion: Let’s worry about GORE later. First, let’s focus on blowing this thing up before it blows US up…
Author: Golem[edit]
~Due to gravity, the Volksmonkey parks itself on the Cheese Star next to Yami and company.
Back on the bridge of the Cheese Star...~
Koopa Xtreme: Activate the external shield and fire lasers from inside the shield at the remnants of the OGers.
Sir Sur: If we miss the OGers, we'll be damaging our own shield.
Koopa Xtreme: Don't make me cry at you!!
~Outside, Legion notices a few suspicious poles rise out of the Cheese Star, each one far from the other. Not soon after, a few scattered gun turrets pop out of the Cheese Star as well, catching everyone's attention. The turrets immediately fire one laser each at the OGers, who hop into the Volksmonkey without getting hit. Some hit the Volksmonkey, and the lasers that missed disappate when they reach an invisible boundary. In a few seconds the Volksmonkey starts up and flies forward, outrunning the laser blasts for a few seconds. However, it eventually hits an invisible boundary--the same boundary that the lasers are hitting--and it crashes into the shuttle that Rhyk was in. The right side of the Volksmonkey punctures the shuttle. Yami turns to a door on the Volksmonkey's right side and opens it before walking into the cockpit of Rhyk's shuttle. Everyone follows Yami through the cockpit and onto the Cheese Star.
On her way through the shuttle, Chizu spots an odd grouping of rubber bands on the floor. She picks it up and examines it to find that it is actually a pen with many rubber bands wrapped around it. She sticks it in her pocket and moves on.~
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
~In the Author's Dimension...~
Author 5: Oh great, he's escaped again.
Author 1: Search everywhere! We have to stop Niner before he ruins the plot!
*Hiding in the lady's bathroom, Author 9 scribbles at the script. Banging is heard on the door.*
Author 9: Darn! They've found me already. I just have to write in one more character... the OGers will die, but I have no choice!
~The story dimension: aboard the Cheese Star~
Yami Yoshi: Ah, there goes another squad!
*The hall is smeared with Cheesetroopers' juicy remains.*
Legion: Uh, any idea where we are?
Kantii: According to this map, we're near the prison block.
Chizu: (points) What's that?
Vorpal: Oh no...
*Luigi's and Sapphire's spirits fly towards the OGers followed, chased by Rhyk who has a maniacal glint in his eye. Lila's voice echoes from around the corner.*
Lila: What, no thank you?
Rhyk: (freezes and sniffs the air suspiciously, then turns towards Chizu. His eyes glow red and he looks very monstrous) IT'S MINE!!!11
*Rhyk lunges at the shocked Chizu.*
~The story dimension: Planet Mystery~
Stuman Jr.: Glad we got that taken care of!
*GORE is now attached by a wire to a pump which pumps his body with enough cheese to keep him from going crazy in the presence of so much cheese.*
Stuman Sr.: And that concludes our tour of the facility! You may now wander about on your own for a while, as long as you don't tamper with anything.
GORE: Sure!
*GORE wanders alone down a narrow corridor. He sees a laser sword lying on the ground in front of him.*
GORE: I've got a bad feeling about this...
*However, GORE picks up and activates the red laser sword. Immediately he hears the sound of another laser sword humming to life behind him; he swings around just in time to block a blow by The Monkey.*
~The Cheese Star~
*Still in midair, Rhyk is hit by a Dark Egg, a bullet, a barrage of feathers, an arrow and even a kick to the face form Chizu all at the same time. He's sent spinning into the neaby wall, but he immediately recovers and slinks along the ground. Rhyk points an accusing finger at Chizu.*
Rhyk: You! You stoles it from us! Golem, Golem! We wannts it back, Precious!
Chizu: What?
Yami: I dunno, looks like the robot finally cracked. Dogpile!
*Everyone slams down on Rhyk, pinning him down on the ground.*
Yami: Explain! What are you after, you loon?
Rhyk: MY... PRECIOUS!!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
*Rhyk jets up, knocking all the OGers off of him.*
Rhyk: Downloading deadly-ass matrial arts moves... Download complete.
~Planet Mystery~
GORE: What are you doing here?
The Monkey: I'm sorry GORE, but this has to be done. I'm a good guy too. Unfortunately you have to go for the greater good.
GORE: You're just a rotten villain now! You've been corrupted, you damned dirty ape!
The Monkey: You want me to explain it? Sure! (continues to attack GORE) To prove I'm not evil, I'll attack while I'm monologuing instead of stopping all action to do so!
GORE: Not good enough!
The Monkey: Well I'm sorry. You OGers must be destroyed to restore the balance between R-Space and S-Space. Although R-Space is filled with good, its negative energy has slipped into S-Space with disasterous conciquences. Now people here will only have dark dreams until you OGers are taken care of. And I'm the Chosen One who shall do so.
GORE: Yeah right!
The Monkey: Yes, it is right! It was foretold that the Chosen One would slay his former comrades and restore balance to the universes! It is said that the Chosen One is the simian who once walked among the OGers! That is me! I am the Chosen One! I have to kill you all, starting with you!
GORE: No!
*GORE uses the Force to shave The Monkey backward.*
The Monkey: Ah, some of the Force connection still lingers inyou GORE, even though I have left your body long ago. Excellant. I do not want your last battle to be be over so quickly. Yet you have much rage in your fighting style...
~The Cheese Star~
*Rhyk continues to hover above the OGers and download other crazy crap until Kuria goes Legolas on him and shoots him down. His rocket packs temporarily disabled, he decided to test out his new martial art skills. Yami tries to kick him back, but rhyk grabs him by the leg and swings him into Legion and Kantii. Chizu runs at Rhy, and the two begin a very cool kung-fu battle.*
Yami: Whoa! Go Chizu go!
*Rhyk shoves forward at Chizu, and she blocks with both her hands. Their hands lock together, and Chizu is actually overpowering Rhyk. Rhyk tries to knee or kick her, but she blocks with her own legs.*
Rhyk: Heh heh...
Chizu: Huh?
Rhyk: Golem Stretch!
*A ghostly brown scarf springs forward, smacking Chizu into the nearby wall.*
Rhyk: Masamune Sword! Flutter Wings!
*A sword materializes in Rhyk's hands while two wings sprout from his back. Rhyk flies towards Chizu.*
Rhyk: TIME TO PAY THIEF!!!!
Yami: No!
~Planet Mystery~
*GORE and The Monkey's fight continues in the underground caverns where the cheese is boiled to volcanic temperatures. Lakes of bubbling molten nacho cheese surround the rocky platforms.*
The Monkey: This is impossible! You can't be this good! This... this is Vaapad!
GORE: I don't care what it is, as long as it shuts you up forever!
*GORE slices down with intense fury and cuts The Monkey's laser sword in two.*
The Monkey: ...You know GORE, it's not too late. You can reabsorb me. Pretend this never happened. I won't be as controlling this time. We'll have to kill your friends, but you'll stay alive. And we would become a powerful fighter!
GORE: No. You know why I despise you? When we were one, I was happy. And when I heard about BSD's dark background, I felt bad for the guy, but I was relieved as well. I could have just as easily been a murderer. But I wasn't. I was a noble Jedi Knight of the Republic. Then I found out it was all a lie. That wasn't my past. And now once again I'm in the dark. And it's very possible that my true past was that of a murderer. I don't care about the power you've given me. The false hope is enough to make me want to kill you. And I won't hesitate to.
*GORE tosses his own laser sword into the molten cheese, where it melts within seconds. The two gorillas don't speak a word. They just leap at each other and roll along the ground like their wild bretheren.*
~Cheese Star~
*Yami desperately leaps into the air, flutters his legs until he's above Rhyk and then hip drops down onto Rhyk's back while surrounded by an Egg Shield, knocking him to the floor. Rhyk mysteriously shuts down.*
Chizu: ...
Kantii: (speaking in Sapphire's voice) What was that all about? Hey... when did I get in this body? ...And how come I can't get out?
Legion: (Luigi's voice) Ha, you got stuck in a body! Wait a sec... dammit!
Kuria: (Vorpal's voice) Hey guys!
Yami: Oh great. More Party Goers.
~Planet Mystery~
*GORE twists The Monkey's hand with his own mechanical one and then tosses him across the platform towards the edge. GORE slowly approached him.*
The Monkey: This is impossible! I was the Chosen One! I was supposed to bring balance to the universes! Unless... the prophecy speaks not of me. If I am not meant to kill the OGers... then maybe you are.
GORE: No!
*GORE pulls his mechanical fist back, jumps up and lands right in front of The Monkey as he unleashes his Primate Punch in The Monkey's face. The Monkey flies right into the molten cheese. The Monkey begins a slow and agonzing death. Imagine as gruesome a scene as you can without vomitting, unless of course you want to.*
The Monkey: All along I thought it was me, but now I see it's you GORE! YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!! YOU WILL KILL THEM ALL!!!!
*With that The Monkey disappears beneath the cheese and disappears, never to be seen again in any OG. GORE slowly turns around and walks away.*
~The Author's Dimension~
Author 1: Well 9 is restrained again.
Author 3: And I've already killed off his new character!
Author 5: Hey, but why's he smiling like that?
Author: Golem[edit]
~Inside Yami Yoshi's mind, something stops the reflex that usually destroys the Egg Shield once Yami Yoshi's need for it is over. Inside Yami's mind...~
Hades: Lower the Egg Shield and it will blow like a Dark Egg with you in it!
Yami: What?!
Hades: As soon as you put your Egg Shield up, I started heating the area up. If you try to drop your Egg Shield, the heat that's been built up will cause the egg to explode like a Dark Egg. However, if you don't lower it, you'll pass out before the egg gets so hot that it explodes on its own, and I'll be able to decrease the pressure.
Yami: And you'll beeeee...
~Outside of Yami's mind, Yami Yoshi's body drops to the ground, and everyone rushes over to Yami. After a few moments, the Egg Shield is dropped safely, and Yami gets up, then dashes through and past the pack of OGers. Everyone runs after Yami. With each step he takes, his shoes pick up a little bit of yellow goo.~
Legion: Hey Yami! Is that you?!
~Silence.~
Legion: ~sigh~ Kantii, will you do the honors?
~Kantii scoops up SSG and lobs him at Yami Yoshi. This time, however, Yami Yoshi puts up an Egg Shield just in time for SSG to hit the Egg Shield. While Yami continues running, SSG lands in a puddle of melted cheese. Yami reaches the end of the corridor then jumps into the wall and swims upward as the wall around him turns into melty cheese. Kantii scoops up SSG again and is about to take another shot at Yami Yoshi when~
Legion: Cheesetroopers!
~Everyone turns around to be faced by a group of fifteen Cheesetroopers.
Meanwhile, Yami swims up to the next floor and continues running. Cheesetroopers come to assault him, but he merely runs his arms through them, causing the Cheesetroopers to melt.
Inside Yami Yoshi's mind...~
Yami Yoshi: Can you please drop whatever you're doing for now?! We kinda have a planet to save!!
Hades: No! I must start immediately on defeating Dark Cloak so I can avenge Krad!
Yami Yoshi: I don't get how it's Dark Cloak's fault and not Akujin's... but in any case, that means we have the same enemy! We should be working together!
Hades: I deserve to live while you remain dormant!
Pharoah: Oh, shut up. It's not that bad after the first 1,000 years.
Hades: From what I understand, Pharoah, you deserved your imprisonment for all the imbalance you caused by providing a gateway between S-Space and R-Space.
Pharoah: Come again?!
Hades: Maybe if you lent your ear to Rhyk every once in a while, you'd know what I'm taking about. In the meantime, I must reach Planet Mystery!
Yami Yoshi: Come on, has any of Rhyk's theories ever been proven?
~Outside of Yami Yoshi's mind and back down below, Kantii give boosts to the others by grabbing their feet and launching them upward--so that they may swim up to the next floor as Yami did--while Kuria and Legion hold off the Cheesetroopers. When all but Kantii, Legion, and Kuria have ascended, Kuria gets ready to go up to the next floor with the others. However, then she spots Lila being carried off by a Cheesetrooper, and fires an arrow straight at the Cheesetrooper carrying her. Legion, noticing this but hesitating to rush into the middle of a crowd of cheesetroopers, merely fends off the ones in front of him. Kantii makes an extraordinary jump over the crowd of Cheesetroopers towards Lila, distracting the Cheesetroopers and allowing Kuria and Legion to take care of them easily. Kantii snatches Lila, and with a majority of the guards down, everyone moves up through the passage of melted cheese left by Yami.~
Lila: Ouch... ~puts her hand to her lower right leg, then takes her hand away and looks at it to find blood~ Watch where you're aiming next time.
Kuria: The name's Kuria.
Vorpal: I mean Vorpal.
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
~They continue to chase after the trail of cheese, up to the point where the cheese stopped melting.~
Kantii: What? How could it just stop? I mean, if Yami's still being possessed by Hades, he'd...
~Kantii drops to his knees and sticks his into the unmelted cheese. It passes through completely and comes to a patch of melted cheese. He stands up and turns to face them.~
Sapphire: Nice.
Luigi: Shush. You're going to give it away.
Legion: What are you two leeches trying to pull, here?
Luigi: Listen. You've obviously lost the path. I'm sure you'd run into them again if you, I dunno, swung by the sleeping quarters.
Kantii: I doubt it.
~Legion waves his hand at Kantii.~
Luigi: You will swing by the sleeping quarters.
Kantii: I... no! What the hell are you doing?
Vorpal: Luigi's got these Jedi Mind Tricks. You're losing your touch.
Luigi: I guess.
~Legion begins to float toward a different hallway, then stops himself.~
Legion: All right, stop! We need to catch up with Yami, here. It's MY body... so to speak.
Luigi: That's all we want. Just swing by and we'll be gone.
Kantii: There's no time.
~They begin to follow the cheese path again.~
Luigi: Just... please! Come on! I've got... I've got a wife and kids and I haven't seen them for like six years, and five years before that, and I need to get back to them. And Sapphire is the queen of some floating island, or something, and she has to reclaim the throne from her evil uncle. I mean, you watched the Lion King, you know how important it is!
Sapphire: I dunno about reclaiming...
Luigi: Oh come on!
Vorpal: I'm happy.
Kuria: Oh shut up...
Author: Yoshiyami[edit]
The Cheese Star throne room…
~Koopa Xtreme plops himself onto Lupus’ cheese throne and pulls out a remote controller from his shell.~
Koopa Xtreme: ~presses a few buttons~ Let’s see how the Cheesetroopers are faring against the intruders...and I don’t want to miss today’s rerun of Knott’s Landing!
~A TV screen hovers down from the ceiling and floats level to Koopa Xtreme’s hook-billed face. Koopa Xtreme presses a few more buttons and the screen turns on...~
Author: Fred[edit]
(Koopa plays back the last two minutes of dialogue on his YAK BAK)
Koopa Extreme: Yes, YES! Urge. Now, to go in accordance to mr. Luigi's wishes. Mr. Of the pipes? Mr. Mario? I unno, Luigi's wishes. Damn.
(He presses THE ONE RED BUTTON ON HIS LEFT ARMREST which of course traps the lagging Party Goer-possesed characters behind a door made of Cheapanium, and with a path only leading to the Sleeping quarters)
Luigi: How oppertune.
Legion: Why.
Kuria: Finally.
(Yami and the GANG, reduced to Yami, PL-0TT, Chizu, and SSG, all walk down a narrow hallway, and come to three doors, two on the left, one on the right)
YY: Guys, I kinda need to... uh, go to the bathroom. Head on without me.
Chizu: Oh no! Whatever shall we do without our fearless leader and etc. and don't kill yourself in the process.
YY: Thanks.
(Yami Yoshi enters the Washroom, obviously controlled by Hades)
Yami Hades: You there.
(Darth Lundgren zips up and turns around)
Darth Lundgren: Ah, I've been expecting you.
(Fred crashes through the wall of the Cheese Star, setting off the major alarms)
Fred: Grate, now how to cream clams?
(Hundreds of Cheesetroopers surround him, not finding him due to his hiding in a filing cabinet, but finding Rhyk.)
Koopa Xtreme: Interesting indeed. Wesus, set the teleporter for the moon. As soon as those FUELSZ walk into the room, the eggos with tempt them. They won't be able to leggo our eggos, so we'll pull them into the teleporters, and Kazaam! With Shaquille O'Neel and everything. They're in the Moon's core. Laser Core. Core the movie in Paris the Cereal.
Wesus: You talk using words.
Author: Yoshiyami[edit]
Darth Lundgren: Ah, I’ve been expecting you. Gimmie a sec and I’ll get the toys out…
Yami Yoshi: What the hell?
Darth Lundgren: Huh?! ~examines Yami Yoshi more closely~ Wait a second…you’re not Koopa Xtreme’s mum!
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Darth Lundgren: So... you've snuck on to the Cheese Star to destroy it and Master Lup-- err, Koopa Xtreme.
Yami Yoshi: Right. I'll be nice and let you leave now.
Darth Lundgren: Liar! You just want to stab me in the back while I'm leaving.
Yami Yoshi: Oh, you're good.
Darth Lundgren: Well, treachery is the way of the Sith, so how about I let you kill Koopa Xtreme, and then I kill you and take over the Cheese Star for myself?
Yami Yoshi: Y'know what? New plan. I kill you, kill Koopa Xtreme, and take over the Cheese Star so that I can find Dark Cloak.
Darth Lundgren: Or maybe this plan. I kill you, kill Koopa Xtreme, and take over the Cheese Star so that I can pick up chicks.
Yami Yoshi: I thought being a badass Sith made you an automatic chick magnet.
Darth Lundgren: It does until they see your complexion... *throws back hood*
Yami Yoshi: Oh, that's bad.
Darth Lundgren: That's not very nice. Now I have two reasons to kill you. ~ignites laser sword~
Yami Yoshi: I'm not very nice. ~creates a sword out of fire~
~Darth Lundgren and Yami Yoshi trade blows.~
Darth Lundgren: Impressive.
~Darth Lundgren fires lightning at Yami, who creates an Egg Shield and blocks it. Yami returns in kind by breathing fire at Lundgren, but he catches it in his hand and dissipates it.~
Darth Lundgren: Oh dear. I seem to run out of trademark Sith abilities. Except THIS ONE!
~Lundgren closes an invisible hand around Yami's throat, lifting him off of his feet. Yami laughs.~
Yami: You didn't... really think... that... ~faints and comes to~ Hoo, thanks. He was getting annoying.
~Yami breaks Lundgren's concentration and lands on the ground. He runs forward and slips between Lundgren's legs, who whirls around and just misses with another swing. Yami jumps over Lundgren's head, smiles, and snaps his fingers. The Dark Egg in Lundgren's hood explodes and he collapses to the ground, smoke curling from within his robe.~
Yami: ~walking toward door~ Ha ha ha! I'm in charge again. Sucks, don't it?
Hades: . . . yes. . .
Yami: That's right, and you can't pull the same trick twice, so-- ~trips over Lundgren and cracks his head on the floor~ Uhh... Heh heh. Looks like I didn't have to.
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*Koopa Xtreme stands on the bridge with Vlad and a gang of other bounty hunters whom I won't bother to name since they're not imporatent enough to reappear in any posts anywhere.*
Sir Sur: Bounty hunters. Scum.
Koopa Xtreme: I'm looking for a group of people known as the OGers whom are hiding somewhere in this very Cheese Star as well as the others elsewhere. I will give you their approximate locations. I want them alive. (to Vlad) No impalinations!
Vlad: Yes my lord.
Wesus: Sir, we have them! (waves to the chained Kuria, Legion and Kantii) And Darth Lundgren is fighting Yami Yoshi himself!
Koopa Xtreme: Xcellant. Ha, I made a funny! See to it that you do not screw up horribly again.
*Fred crashes into the room.*
Fred: AHHHHHH ZOMBIES
Koopa Xtreme: What the hell? Man, you said you were gonna teleport him off this hunk!
Wesus: I forgot from the excitement, sir!
Koopa Xtreme: Well take care of him now so then I can kill you for disobediance!
Wesus: Sure, seeing how I survived my suicide a few posts ago.
*Back with Yami...*
Yami: This is getting boring. I'm outta here.
*Yami turns around. Lundgren lunges forward to stab Yami in the back with his laser sword, but its blocked by another laser sword wielded by...*
Knob: I'll take care of him!
Darth Lundgren: So we meet again! Now the circle is complete. When I left you I was but a learner. Now I am the master!
Knob: Only a master of camp, Lundgren!
*As he walks away, Yami bunks his head on a stale chunk of cheese and returns to normal.*
Yami: Yeah, this is getting real annoying. (sarcastically) And Pharoah, thanks for trying to take over my body instead of Hades. Jerk. Hey cool, a fight!
Knob: If you strike me down I shall only come back as even a mightier door, maybe even with one of those medieval knockers.
*Darth Lundgren stabs Knob.*
Knob: Ow. Or is my name Knock?
*Knob drops stiffly over.*
Yami: NO!
*Yami takes out a bunch of Dark Eggs and starts flinging them towards Lundgren as he approaches, attracting the attention of a group of Cheesetroopers.*
Knob's Voice: Run Yami run!
*Yami runs towards the Cheesetroopers and Lundgren.*
Knob's Voice: Dumbass!
*Koopa Xtreme leaves Wesus and Fred's fight in the throne room to get a glass of water, only to bump into Vlad- and he's not alone.*
Koopa Xtreme: Oh crap, you got one so soon?
Vlad: I have my ways.
Koopa Xtreme: Why that prisoner is none other than... SwordMaster, Defender of Cheesecake! (fanfare)
Vlad: Actually sir, there's another bounty on this guy's head by Talon-
Koopa Xtreme: No problem! First I want to use him to test the... cheddernite chamber...
*Elsewhere Chizu, PL-0TT and SSG are the only OGers left wandering the halls. Suddenly PL-0TT runs off.*
Chizu: Hey, where are you going?
*Thy follow PL-0TT, only to see him rush into the crowd of Cheesetroopers holding Lila.*
PL-0TT: PLOT CONTROL- DIVERSION!
*The Cheesetroopers completely forget about the existances of Lila and PL-0TT, instead focusing their weapons on Chizu and SSG.*
SSG: Wuh-oh.
| Pages in the Member OG 8 Archive |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 |