Member OG 8 Page 4

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Author: Golem

~Back on Earth, in France, a guy who I don't feel like naming is giving a speech (translated from French to English for your reading delight)...~

Guy: In the time since Member OG 7, I have been working with European powers in preparation for the Cheese Star. We have worked together, pooling our time and energy into this cause while Lupus knows nothing of our preparations. Even Guam, which housed the Cheese Star plans for a time, has worked with us. Now it is time we show what our preparations have led up to. We can and will stop the nefarious Lupus from destroying the planet we love. Soldiers, you should know that even if you die up there today, we will always remember your sacrifice. Now, are there any questions? ~scans the crowd~ Yes, you, there.

Reporter: Thank you, Sir. What about the Americas? We haven't heard them mentioned at all in reference to the Cheese Star (except Guam, part of the Americas by technicality). The same goes for China. And Africa hasn't even been mentioned EVER even ONCE in these eight stories, AT ALL.

~Elsewhere, in China, many people are working at many computers in a huge room. A man walks through the aisles. Suddenly, a voice talks over an intercom system, also translated into English for your reading pleasure.~

Voice: Ten minutes to Space Zomboni launch. Projected time of infiltration of the Cheese Star: 60 minutes.

Author: Fred

(back in Europe, Guy steps off the pedestal, to backstage)

Lupus: Impressive, Bond.

Guy: That's not my name. It's Guy.

Lupus: All the same. China launches in 60 minutes. Like the show.

Guy: What? Aren't you going to be there?

Lupus: No, no, no. I'm busy diggin' fo' the pearls of Mystery.

Guy: What.

Lithium: Nothing you need to be concerned about.

Guy: Fair enough. So, who did you send?

Lupus: A distraction, one I need to get out of my hair. Now look from the setting of the moon, and look to the rising of the sun!

Lithium: I'm actually more interested in keeping my eyes.

Guy: Yeah, don't be dumb. Face.

Lupus: Yeah, well SHUT THROUGH. Okay, look thataway! (Lupus runs)

Lithium: That's what your wanted to show him, and tell him about! Oh, he does this all the time, you just have to stop him before you can't track the plate in his skull with the DRAMA RADAR.

(three to five minutes later)

Lupus: Look, it's beautiful.

Guy: What is it?

Lupus: It's the Cheese Star Mk II! It's filled with Robots(tm) that look exactly like Tim Allen!

Lithium: So we can have an inevitable Clone Wars take off!

Lupus: It's actually, never going to be done.

Guy: Then what's the point?

Lupus: Well, we realised we didn't need the unessary corridors, and we only built the coffee machine, the comfortable cliche evil seat, the elevator thing, the unnessary shaft to throw someone down to their doom, and the cannon. And a window. and the robots, got to have those.

Guy: So how do you breathe?

Lithium: Air is for losers, man.

Guy: What? Okay, then who's in the shuttle going for the first cheese star?

Lupus: Some people I've wanted to get rid of for a long, long time.

(AaronGuy and Culex, not previously mentioned in this story, cling to each other as they zoom towards the cheesestar, not able to break out of the cheapanium dome, filled with Combustinite, the stuff used in only the most serious of special effects.)

AaronGuy: So this is it, we're going to die.

Culex: I'm not sure that has the same meaning, or implications for me. I come from another universe.

AaronGuy: That was destroyed, or something.

Culex: I hate S-Space people.

(On earth again)

Guy: So, if you need mercenaries, I know where to get you hooked up with guys that should be long dead.

(Person, Walrus-Man, and Dude's pictures are shown. Man is not present in them)

Lithium: I thought I heard they got beat by like, one side character.

Guy: Ah, but I'm with them. And my hands can turn into anything. Even an oven mitt.

Lithium: Why not a laser gun?

Guy: Shut up.

(Three men in ponchos approach them)

Lithium: Oh, you. From the last OG.

Man on Left: Lupus, we need to have a word with you. With pain. I mean Pain. That's our negotiator's name.

Man on Right: (Cracks Knuckles, the echidna, then his own knuckles) I don't think you'd want anything to happen to a certain fox, as well?

Man in Center: You can't escape us, Mr. The Turk. It is enevitable.

Lupus: Wha. You're just here now?

Man on Right: There was good stuff on TV.

Man in Center: What? No.

Man on Right: Hey, shut up. You always make me look stupid.

Lithium: I thought I refused you an offer you'd never make.

Man on Left: Well, you never counted on us actually looking at your guards. As we tried to break their necks, we found they were poorly crafted from K'nex.

Lupus: Then it's time to fix you, I'm afraid.

Guy: Allow me. (Guy swings his hands as giant telephone cords, cleaning Man on Right into the alley on the street, and missing the other two)

Man in Center: Come on, pull it together.

Man on Left: You always do this. We stylishly dodge, and then you get hi- (Man on left has his stomach and face blown away by Lithium)

Lupus: Take this! ANTI-COFFEE RAY! (Nothing happens, so Lupus just kind of walks up and gives his foe a wedgie)

Man in Center: Augh... Ah! Ah! This brings back bad memories!

(MANwhile)

Chizu: We can't take 'em.

SSG: Go out fighting?

Chizu: Yeah, I guess. (Chizu kocks a few heads in, but SSG is unable to pull out a weapon before they are swarmed and shot with kneecaps in the kneecaps.)

(MENwhile)

Wesus: It's my second coming. You know it to be true, you see it in your ears, Miyamoto!

Fred: I was Minute Maid to do this shit. ( Stylishly falls over backwards)

Wesus: ( stabs at Fred with his Blunt object) Goodbye, Son.

Fred: (bites his foot) Okay.

Wesus: Ow, shizzle! You bit my foot! That's not fair! You force me to use my power to split into many! Er, don't have that. My ability to call for backup!

(Four Cheesetroopers storm in to accompany Wesus, each with a paper clip meele weapon in their hands. Fred jumps to the catwalks while they give chase, and Wesus fires with his GAMMA RADIATION blowdarts)

(On the dark throne, a figure laughs maniacally)

Koopa Xtreme: Now, my Lupus Clone Army is complete. My ultimate ascention is complete. This 3-D model of The Eiffel Tower is complete. Few things remain to be done. I must integrate this machine into the Cheese Star, then it shall truly be complete. Well, fixed. How do all these rockets get here, it's not like we're standing still, ORBITING THE EARTH. Anyways, time to see Our prisoner's Cheddernitezation.

(SwordMaster lies unconsious in the hold)

Vlad: I'll take him when he's done.

Koopa Xtreme: Impressive. Very impressive. START THE PROCESS. INTEL INSIDE! (Insert maniacal laughter here, or somesuch)

(Meanwhile, in Japan)

Youma: The invasion of China is nigh! PREPARE THE UNNESSARY TRANSFORMING ROBOTS, INCLUDING THE THREE JETS THAT TURN INTO A POLEROID CAMERA, WTF.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Legion: We have to stop them from putting Swordmaster in cheddarnite.

Kantii: Thank you for that.

Kuria: Guys? I don't know if we're even in the same vicinity as that Swordmaster guy. He's in the hold or something and we're in the throne room/bridge.

Legion: That's never stopped us before.

Kantii: Aaahwrooo!

Kuria: . . .

Kantii: Sorry, I was in the moment.

Legion: Yeah, and Fred can't conveniently hold off Wesus forever.

Wesus: So I had this omgawesome idea. Instead of having chocolate bunnies for Easter, they should have chocolate Jesuses.

Fred: I am so not eating chocolate shaped like some Mexican guy.

Wesus: Seriously. The company that makes them could be called "Sacridelicious" and the slogan could be "hollower than thou." It's brill-- *is struck by lightning*

Fred: Yes! I am not the not not no nar not knotting winner!

Wesus: Sorry, third coming.

Fred: I just hate you so much.

Kuria: Why do we care about them?

Kantii: Strategy, or something.

Kuria: That and how do we get free?

Legion: Party Goer guy! Do something useful while they're distracted.

Luigi: Oh fine.

• Luigi burns and/or melts Legion's binds, who in turn unties Kuria and Kantii.*

Koopa Xtreme: I saw that! You guys so thought that I left already, but I so didn't! Sir Sur, call for help!

Sir Sur: But...

Koopa Xtreme: Now!

*Sir Sur takes the "Call for Help" button from Koopa Xtreme, presses it, and hands it back.*

Koopa Xtreme: Very good. Now eat your sprouts.

Kantii: Let's make the best of our time while we can!

*Kantii, for lack of SSG, throws Legion at Koopa Xtreme. As Legion flies at him, Kuria fires an arrow into Legion's hand. Legion stabs Koopa Xtreme to death with the arrow. Actually, he stabs Koopa Xtreme's shell to death, but it's already dead. A million Cheesetroopers storm to the room, but only fifteen hundred actually go in.*

Sapphire: I've got this. Knights of the Blue! I summon thee!

*Thirteen blue-armored knights appear and decimate the Cheesetroopers.*

Sapphire: That felt cheap...

*The other nine hundred ninety-eight thousand five hundred enter. In case you were keeping count.*

Kantii: >Mimic

*The thirteen blue-armored knights reappear, grumbling, and kill the rest of the Cheesetroopers.*

Sir Sur: *jawdrop* Is it possible to learn this power?

Kantii/Sapphire: Not from a Koopa...

Koopa Xtreme: You are so not gonna leave my side, Sir Sur. I love you.

Sir Sur: *sniff* I never knew you cared.

Koopa Xtreme: I don't. I just don't want to die alone. *to the others* Oh sure, your fancy special attack killed off my worthless Parmeseantroopers, but let's see you use it on a REAL man.

Sir Sur: I hope you don't mean me.

Kantii: Well? Go ahead.

Sapphire: I'm, uh, only allowed to use that attack once per ever, actually.

*Sapphire creates a pair of shields on Kantii's forearms, which he uses to deflect the attack by more Cheesetroopers who just arrived from the opposite side of the Cheese Star. Too tired to hold their guns properly, they end up shooting at Kantii's knees, making it hard for him to defend. Kuria leaps in front of him, holding an arrow like a sword.*

Kuria: Well? Do your stuff!

Vorpal: It's just not the same...

Kuria: Yes it is. Long and sharp.

Vorpal: Only on the end...

Kuria: Just hurry before I--

*One of the million shots already fired actually hits Kuria in the leg. She gasps and hits the floor.*

Vorpal: Kuria? Kuria! NO!

*Kuria gets back up and staggers toward the Cheesetroopers, then slices and grates them all with the arrow.*

Kantii: Phew. Aren't you glad that's over?

Vorpal: My hesitation cost me the life of my love. I will never be glad about this.

Kuria: I'm not dead. I fainted from shock for two seconds. And I am not your love.

Vorpal: Ah heh...

*Legion grabs a mace from the super convenient weapons rack on the wall and attacks Koopa Xtreme.*

Koopa Xtreme: Augh! My eyes!

<noqiki>*</nowiki>He grabs the other kind of mace too. He swings it at Sir Sur, but the wooden handle bursts into flames and crumbles into ashes in the span of .02 seconds, causing it to fly wildly into the back of Fred's head, but beyond all reason not kill, injure, paralyze, or overall harm him in any way.*

Luigi: My bad.

Author: AaronGuy

Legion: Well that certianly went over unwell. You can't just rapidly set things on fire, you git. This isn't Megaman 3. This isn't even Megaman 2.

Luigi: My mistake, okay? Just grab another weapon from the super convenient weapons rack.

Koopa Xtreme: Sorry, it's been 3 turns. That means the board changes from day to night, the store sells different capsules, and it's now the super IN-convenient weapons rack.

*The weapons rack now offers a bent, rusty sword, a fairly large shoe with a hole in the heel, a tin of Dinty Moore beef stew, and a trout.*

Legion: Ah hell. *throws the tin of Dinty Moore Beef Stew at Sir Sur*

Sir Sur: ACK! *is beaned in the head by the tin of Dinty Moore Beef Stew* My only regret... is being hit by that can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. *faints*

*Koopa Xtreme is out of usable Pokemon! Koopa Xtreme blacks out!*

Koopa Xtreme: AH! My eyes! MY EYES! Who turned out the lights?!

Legion: That actually worked out pretty well.

Kantii: You can say that ag-

Vorpal: No he can't. Now, let's get to that hold to save the guy that hasn't posted in like ever.

Pot: You're black as the ace of spades, Kettle.

Kettle: So's yer old man.

*Hey, speaking of which!*

Shuttle: *continues on it's kamikaze kourse towards the Cheese Star*

AaronGuy: I wish I took that offer to join Team Rocket Omega...

Culex: I thought that was an alternate ending.

AaronGuy: Hey, if Golem didn't know, I probably could have gotten away with it! They have hats!

Culex: Really?

AaronGuy: Yeah! They're all cool looking, and they have- *attempts to say something dramatic and foreboding, but is muffled by the rocket's airbag*

Culex: We don't have an airbag!

*That's enough of that.*

Kuria: But how are we going to get to the hold? We don't even know where it is!

Luigi: Sure we do. Firstly, it's where Rhyk was, which is were Saph and I escaped from. Second, we ran into Lila there.

Kantii: Maybe, but the way we know how to reach it is now blocked off by a Cheapanium door.

Luigi: Oh, yeah... But if it's so cheap, could we just break through it?

Kantii: No, you're thinking 'corrugated dollar-store type' cheap. It's actually more of a 'invulnerable godmoding cheat code type' cheap. We'll have to find another way.

Sapphire: Well, there's only two exits from this room, and we came in through one. Let's go!

Author: Yami

Yami Yoshi: ~angrily~ Hey! Don’t call me a—wait, I thought you were dead!

Knob’s Voice: I will be if you don’t turn around and get me outta here!

~Yami Yoshi turns around and sees several Cheesetroopers trampling over Knob’s wooden body.~

Knob: Don’t just stand there, boy! Help m—

Yami Yoshi: Dark Omelet!

~Yami Yoshi hurls a barrage of Dark Eggs at the Cheesetroopers. The Dark Eggs explode and melt the Cheesetroopers into nacho cheese.~

Knob: Dumbass! I’m going to dro—

~Knob’s speech becomes incomprehensible gurgling as the nacho cheese pours into his mouth.~

Yami Yoshi: Damnit!

Author: GORE-ILLA

Vlad: Are you sure SwordMaster will survive this? He's no good to me dead.

Koopa Xtreme: If the cheddarnite somehow fails, you shall be compensated for your loss. (if you really try) Now we must test this cheddarnite chamber before Yami Yoshi's arrival.

*Koopa Xtreme's seeing-eye dog guides him into the cheddernite chambers while Vlad stalks in the shadows. SwordMaster is handcuffed by the cheddarnite pit. The cuffed Chizu and SSG watch nervously from the sidelines. SwordMaster looks to Chizu.*

Chizu: I love you.

SwordMaster: I know. ...Wait, what did you say? I zoned out there for a moment.

Koopa Xtreme: Dip him. (if you really try)

*A Cheesetrooper shoves SwordMaster into the cheddarnite pit. Some heating is heard. Finally a claw reaches into the pit and pulls out a huge block of cheddar- with SwordMaster's body in it.*

SSG: He's been frozen in cheddarnite! Why he should be perfectly preserved in there. The only problem is that it's hard to survive the freezing (if you really try).

Vlad: Oh yeah he's alive. Well I'll take him back to Talon now.

*The Cheesetrooper guards carry the cheddarnite block containing SwordMaster out of the room as Vlad guides them towards his ship. Then Koopa Xtreme stumbles out, leaving Chizu and SSG alone. First they realize there legs aren't bound. Then they dash out of the chamber in search of Vlad.*

SSG: I don't think we'll be able to find him. And I'll probably just hold you back.

Chizu: No way! You can do it (if you really try)!

Author: Yami

~Meanwhile, with Yami...

Yami flips over Knob, I mean Knock, creating a doorway. Yami hops into the floor and lands in another room, where Knock is the door to a wardrobe. Yami shuts Knock quickly. Knock looks down to where he was stabbed, and notes that the hole is smaller, but where he has healed he is slightly yellow. Due to the fact that he is upright, he is able to spit out the nacho cheese that he was choking on.

Before Yami is a bed, and on it is a completely yellow gnome lying face up, who is wearing a green polo t-shirt and dress pants and holding a large key about as long as a baseball bat. The bed faces a large screen, on which Yami sees the cave that he was in earlier with the others.~

Yami Yoshi: Well, looks like we're still on the Cheese Star.
...Is that the gnome from earlier?!

~The gnome makes strained attempts at breathing before managing to get out...~

Gnome: Hhheeellllp...

~...in an extremely raspy voice.~

Yami: Right after I scratch my tail.

~The tip of Yami's tail itches, and when he reaches back to scratch it, he looks at it and notices that the very tip is turning yellow.~

Yami: ...Are we turning into cheese?

Knock: Umm, maybe?

Yami: What are we gonna do, if we really try?! I call dibs on the shiny key.

Knock: What?

Yami: I saw the way you looked at it.

~They hear footsteps from outside the room. Soon after, melted cheese slithers under the doorway and slowly forms itself back into a person.~

Yami: Let's get outta here! ~grabs the knob on Knock~

Knock: Not so fast, even if you really try, I don't know what effect this supposed cheesifying will have on my powers.

~Yami and Knock then dash out of the door to the room while the cheese that came under the door is still solidifying, and is nowhere near done yet. In the hallway is a carpeted floor, walls with wallpaper, and doors with numbers on them, making the area look like the hall of a hotel.~

Author: Fred

(Yami and Knock walk down the hallway, not knowing what to think)

Knock: The cheese must have replexed my matter transifigurer logic device! It also has started to make me talk in technobabble!

Yami Yoshi: Epic. I have a bad feeling about this (If you really try).

(A door opens up, obviously to a one on one volleyball game between Don Cherri and Shaquille O'Neel.)

Don: You're supposed to shoot (if you really try) it at the net, you're not -playing oldtime hockey, Diesel!

O'Neel: KAZAAM

(A creature made of cheese walks out of the door and closes it behind him. More doors start opening to places like convenience stores, Legoland, the studio audience seating for Lambchop's playalong. Cheese-made creatures all come from these places. They look up, and show to be Lupus)

Cheese Lupuses: Misssster Yoshi. Welcome Back. We missssed you (If you really try).

Yami Yoshi: Shiitism! Knock, we don't have time for a matrix parody. GET US OUT OF HERE!

Knock: Going through me solves nothing (If you really try)! We'll end up here again!

Yami Yoshi: Man, I don't want to go back to earth.

Knock: Where else can cheese be cured?

YY: YOUR MOM'S FACE. Hopefully that made sense.

Knock: Well, my mother was the door to an operating room...

YY: Shut up. I just remembered that we forgot to run, and we're completely surrounded by Lupuses made of cheese, sah.

Knock: Just one chance! We'll have to use the bat-lube!

YY: Good thin- die.

(YY picks up Knock, and uses him at a battering ram through the Lupuses. However, his leg is getting more CHEEZY.)

YY: oh no i'll never escape y am i her i wo'nt escpae

Knock (on wood): You can do it! (If you really try)

YY: Are you sure?

Knock: (If you really try) I am.

YY: I AM REVITALIZED. FIRST THING IS TO FENGSHUI ALL THESE LUPUSES.

(YY gives a mean uppercut, and then a nice one, and then a sort of antisocial one, and then a greedy one. As a gift. No he just throws like a million dark eggs or whatever, which you kids at home can do, too! (If you really try) and then organises them to maximize the "flow" (If you really try to do it (If you really try))of the room)

Knock: Listen Yami, go on without me.

YY: Okay. Wait, you're my eternal slave, I'm not letting you away that easily. I still can't make the hovercraft I need a bandage from a huge spider, so you're with me (If you really try)

(Yami walks out a door, leading him into a smoky engine room. A sickly looking Knock (He's got Yellow FEVAH) follows him. The door behind him closes a la Zelda OoT with the bars, and Knock does too)

Knock: Mtph Mrph Hey Look Listen (If you really try)

(A huge machine made entirely out of Drama approches YY, as a screen turns on, with Koopa Xtreme's face)

Koopa Xtreme: I don't know how you did it, son, but this room will be your grave (if you really try).

Yami: Okay, I'll just... not try then.

(The huge machine unfurls to become a teacup)

YY: (suspension of disbelief) Awesome. Now I have ample room in a teacup for THE MAN. (/inside joke)

Teacup: EEEEEeeeeEEEEE (Rams YY, throwing him into some rusting gears)

Yami Yoshi: (jumps away to a sideways spinning gear platform to avoid KRUSHING. The teacup smashes the gears around him, blasting Yami to the ground, where he rolls untidily) FAQ!

(The teacup brings girders down around YY, blocking his paths. He then goes to the top and starts throwing barrels)

YY: Damn, where's GORE when you need him (if you really try)?

(Mcwhile)

Fred: Tha'z not truing! Tha'z improbable. (yrt yllaer uoy fi)

Wesus: Yes, Fred, YOU MADE ME! The best cotton sleves! These are really comfortable!

Fred: Damn you and your socialist capitalism!

Wesus: Mr. Von Bisquick, the best part about being me is... the money. (Wesus fires force lightening at himself, due to the nickel cross on his chest attracting it)

(As Wesus takes ALL EASTER BREAK to come back, Fred fights off four cheese and chesstroopers. By spinning around in a circle, Fred was able to knock two more off, leaving two. They quickly surrounded Fred, who couldn't take the pressure (If he really tries) and fell to the ground. The two Cheesetroopers forgot to move their aimers down honestly who uses the D pad and shoot each other with lead encased rubber bullets.)

Wesus: It's just you and me, now.

(Fred throws his hammer at Wesus's thorax, sending him out the bottom of the ship into space. A filing cabinet fills up the hole quickly (If it really tries))

(MADEwhile)

Koopa: Yeah, fighting in the engine room was a bad idea, I admit it.

(MAIDwhile)

Lupus: Okay! So we have one more of these losers, and then we're homefree like Air Bud.

Guy: yse

Author: Yami

~Yami Yoshi wraps his tongue around the bottom girder and swings himself around and around the girder to build up momentum. After several swings, Yami Yoshi releases his tongue and launches himself up towards the top girder.~

Teacup: EEEEEeeeeeEEEEEE!!!

~A barrage of barrels rolls out from the teacup's top and drops down towards Yami Yoshi.~

Yami Yoshi: Damnit!

~Suddenly, Yami Yoshi notices a black hammer hanging underneath one of the girders. Yami Yoshi shoots out his tongue and wraps it around the hammer’s handle. Eight-bit synthesized music plays out of nowhere as Yami Yoshi uncontrollably swings the hammer and shatters the falling barrels into splinters. Yami Yoshi latches onto the top girder with the hammerhead and climbs up his tongue. As Yami Yoshi steps onto the top girder, the hammer disappears and the music stops.~

Yami Yoshi: Take this!

~Yami Yoshi hurls a barrage of Dark Eggs at the teacup.~

Teacup: EEEEEeeeeeEEEEEE!!!

~A long, silver spoon pops out of the teacup’s top and twirls towards Yami Yoshi as it shatters the incoming Dark Eggs.~

Yami Yoshi: ~activates Egg Shield~ Yikes!

~The spoon ricochets off of Yami Yoshi’s Egg Shield and wedges itself between a pair of gears. Suddenly, the engine room falls silent as the sound of rotating gears stops.~

Yami Yoshi: Whoa, what the hell?

Author: Golem

~The Drama machine has by now implanted itself in the wall.~

Koopa Xtreme: This room is still your grave.

Yami Yoshi: No. Unfair. I got the high score. I really tried.

Koopa Xtreme: Hold on. ~turns around so that his back faces Yami Yoshi~ Lemonade Stand, commence with the trial.

~In the background of the screen, Lemonade Stand sits in the judge's chair of a courtroom, and over him is a wooden sign that reads "Lemon Blood - $1 (if you really try)." Rhyk sits at the desk for the defendant, bound and gagged in... let's say... Strongerthanrhykium, an isotope of Cheapanium. The Plaintiff is nowhere to be seen. Yami Yoshi hops down and looks around, notes that no one is entering the room, and silently runs up to the door to the room. He tries to open it, but it's locked. He then walks up to the screen and presses his hands up against it. To his surprise, the part of the screen touching his hands starts to melt, and soon he realizes it is not a screen but a window. Yami Yoshi melts the glass so that his body can fit through and he sneaks into the courtroom, then sits down in the back with a nice, tall glass (which does not melt) of lemonade. After a few minutes, someone finally notices Yami Yoshi.~

Lemonade Stand: You! Dinosaur kid in the back!

Yami Yoshi: ...Yeah?

Koopa Xtreme: Get out of the way.

Yami Yoshi: No!

~A tall and muscle-bound Cheesetrooper rushes from outside of Yami Yoshi's vision and plows through him and his chair while carrying Rhyk. Yami Yoshi gets up and turns to look at the Cheesetrooper, who rushes into the vertical maze of girders while still carrying Rhyk, who drops a paper that falls to the floor. Yami Yoshi aims a Dark Egg at the Cheesetrooper, but as he throws it, Koopa Xtreme shoots him with a Nerf Ballzooka. As a result of this, Yami instead hits only the ground with his Dark Egg. He gets up, rushes after the Cheesetrooper, and throws Dark Eggs at the him along the way. However, Koopa Xtreme shoots the eggs with the Ballzooka, exploding them prematurely. Just as the Cheesetrooper reaches the top girder, Yami Yoshi is one girder below him. From below, Yami spots the teapot and throws a Dark Egg upward between the teacup and the Cheesetrooper. Koopa Xtreme hesitates to shoot down the egg, realizing the Cheesetrooper would get hit in the blast radius of the egg if it were to be shot. The Cheesetrooper leaps back from the Dark Egg, giving Yami Yoshi enough time to latch his tongue onto the top girder and whip himself up there, kicking the Cheesetrooper aside in the meantime. He drops Rhyk, who falls all the way to the floor.

Meanwhile, Knock has picked up the paper that Rhyk dropped. Realizing that it was a map of the Cheese Star, and he traced his path from the gnome's room to the room he was currently in: the main power generator room, from which the life support system and offensive power generator draw energy.

Koopa walks over to Rhyk and stuffs him in his Ballzooka as best he can. While Yami and the Cheesetrooper are battling, Koopa shoots Rhyk up and into the teacup. Crunching sounds come from the teacup as it ingests Rhyk's parts, and soon enough spits out a yellow jewel with a note attached. The note reads, "Syphnity: The Topaz of Knowledge."~

Author: Yami

~Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg at the Cheesetrooper. The explosion blasts the Cheesetrooper into a wall of rotating gears, and his body is grinded into a yellow and gooey mess.~

Yami Yoshi: All right, now where did that talking door go to? He’s my ticket out of this madhouse…

~Yami Yoshi looks down and notices a gleaming yellow object a few girders below him.~

Yami Yoshi: Huh? What’s that?

Meanwhile on Earth …

~Youma Ganon rolls his wheelchair up to a computer in a Japanese internet café and types in “Where is Repus the Turk?” at AskJeeves.com.~

Author: Golem

~The engine room of the Cheese Star...~

Yami Yoshi: ~has spotted Knock~ Knock! Stay where you are!

~Yami Yoshi puts his back against the teacup and starts walking backwards into it, trying to shove it off the girder.~

Yami Yoshi: It's time to end this Cheese Star here and now!

Koopa Xtreme: No! You suicidal fool!

~Elsewhere, on the Planet Mystery, StuMan Sr. and Jr. run, after hearing yells, back to where they left GORE. They run past Rick Steves, who is fiddling with a PDA, and turn a corner to find GORE looking down into a cheese pit.~

Stuman Sr.: GORE-ILLA, are you alright?

GORE: Yeah... I think so...

Stuman Jr.: What happened?

GORE: ........
...Nothing. I tripped and almost fell into the cheese pit, but I'm fine now. ~smiles~

Stuman Sr.: You should really watch your step around here.

Stuman Jr.: Oh! GORE! Know anything about a dude named "Saru"?

GORE: Saru?! Yeah, I do!

Stuman Sr.: Would you be willing to share any information about him?

GORE: I don't know a lot, but I'm willing to tell whatever I can.

Stuman Sr.: That's good to hear! We'll take you to him, and you can tell us about him on the way.

~Soon, the Stumen and GORE enter the room where Saru is bound by metal to a chair. GORE holds up the Pearls of Mystery to show Saru.~

Saru: I see you've found the Sixth Wonder of the OGing World, the Pearls of Mystery...

GORE: This is one of the Seven Wonders?!

Saru: ...You didn't already know?

GORE: No.

StuMan Jr.: Heck, I didn't know, and the pearls were named after my planet.

Saru: Oh. Can you forget I mentioned it? It doesn't really fit in with my shadowy angst to just give out information like that.

GORE: No, I'll remember. Now tell us what these pearls do.

Saru: You can't make me.

~Just then, StuMan Jr.'s watch beeps. He looks to it and a message is being printed on the screen of his watch.~

StuMan Jr.: Hey, the folks at the Cheese Star base are requesting more Cheese Troopers and asking us if we have the Pearls of Mystery.

GORE: ~looks to the Pearls of Mystery~ Hmmm... ~looks to the StuMen~ think you can dress me up like a Cheesetrooper and send me in with the batch?

StuMan Sr.: We can't do that, we'd breach our contract with Lupus.

GORE: You can contest you didn't know I snuck in. Even if cameras monitor this place, all the cameras are controlled by Mystery, not Lupus, correct?

StuMan Sr.: You have a good point... But...

StuMan Jr.: Aw, c'mon Dad!

StuMan Sr.: Fine. But if you--

Rick Steves: Excuse me, can you tell me where the bathroom is?

Stuman Sr.: Going down the hall, it's the third door on your left.

Rick Steves: Thanks. ~leaves~

StuMan Sr.: But if you destroy anything, and I mean ANYTHING, before you arrive on the Cheese Star, you're as good as dead. Follow me.

~All three leave.~

Saru: ~thinking~ If GORE tries to use those Pearls to deactivate the Cheese Star, he'd end up supplying it with the energy it needs to destroy Earth. Not only that, but if GORE destroyed the Cheese Star, there is a chance that Mystery's economy would take a downfall from a possible loss of jobs in cheesetrooper factories, leading me to doubt that such loyal gentlemen would allow GORE to implement his plan. ~looks to his bindings~ If only I wasn't stuck in here...

Author: Yami

~Yami Yoshi shoves the teacup off the edge of the girder.~

Teacup: EEEEEeeeeeEEEEE!!!

~The teacup falls towards the floor and shatters into pieces.~

Yami Yoshi: All right, Knock! Get us outta here!

~Yami Yoshi jumps down towards Knock’s girder. Suddenly, a nerf-ball hits Yami Yoshi and knocks him towards a wall of rotating gears.~

Yami Yoshi: Damnit!

~Suddenly, the engine room’s lights flicker off, and the gears rotate slower and slower until they finally stop the second Yami Yoshi’s head collides into them.~

Yami Yoshi: Ugh…

~Yami Yoshi passes out and plummets unconsciously towards the floor.~

Knock: Yami Yoshi! What happened?! Where are you?!

~Suddenly, an eruption of flames on the engine room floor illuminates the room with a bright orange glow.~

Yami Yoshi: Koopa Xtreme, you are the master of this place, correct?

~Yami Yoshi rockets himself up towards Koopa Xtreme’s girder.~

Yami Yoshi: Where is the Dark Cloak?

Author: AaronGuy

*Good question. Where IS Dark Cloak?*

Dark Cloak: *hovering just outside the Cheese Star* Heh heh heh... Looks like the OGers already have their hands tied... well, no matter. I'll wipe them all out with my powers of-

*SPLAT*

Dark Cloak: Aouugh... *stuck to the side of a certain space craft*

Aaron: Hey, we hit something!

Culex: And it looks like we didn't explode from the impact.

Aaron: Ew... to bad this thing doesn't come with windshield wipers. Or landing gear. Or a door. Or anything useful.

*Back inside...*

Koopa: Dark Cloak? Who's that?

Yami (Obviously Hades): Don't toy with me! I know he has to be behind this!

Koopa: You hit your head just a little too hard, pal.

Yami Hades: Look, he hasn't appeared in this OG yet, but I'm sure he's pulling the strings here!

Koopa: Actually, I am (if I really try). And right now I'm pulling this cord. *pulls a piece of rope that dropped out of nowhere*

*The wall behind Koopa opens*

Teapot: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee............

Yami Hades: Oh brother...

*Elsewhere!*

Luigi: See? I knew we'd find another path to the hold (if we really tried).

Kantii: Well yeah, there were signs all over.

Legion: Wait... Where is everyone? *looks around the chamber* You don't think they already...

Kantii: They might've... Look. *points and patches of yellow on the ground* Cheese Trooper footsteps. They probably carried him off.

Legion: No! We can't let Swordmaster be carted off!

Kantii: Well then, let's catch them before they can leave the station! *flaps his arms, flying* I'll go ahead!

Luigi/Legion: *hovers* Oh no you won't.

Kantii: Oh, right. I forgot you could do that (if you really tried).

Author: Golem

~In the engine room...

Yami Hades dashes at Koopa while heating his hands up into fireballs. Just before he raises his fist to punch Koopa Xtreme, two of the lights flicker back on, and Koopa hides inside his shell. Yami is about to kick the shell when Koopa starts talking, and Yami holds back his foot.~

Koopa Xtreme: That's the backupbackup generator at work! We'll have very little lighting, but no life support or anything else! ~peeks his head out of his shell~ Best be on your way then, mm?

Yami Hades: Yeah R--

~Inside Yami Yoshi's mind...~

Pharoah: Cool it, Hades!! Do you even care that our right foot is starting to melt?! And your ability to harness fire isn't exactly conserving whatever oxygen supply this ship has left!!

~Outside...

Hades looks to his foot, slowing it down from a kick. A few lines of liquid yellow stream out of the shoe through its top.~

Pharoah Yami Yoshi: Why did you show us the teapot if you're so intent on kicking us out?

Koopa Xtreme: Lupus never loses. For now, if you value your life, you're just going to have to be satisfied with running away while we make a new teacup to harness the teapot's power. ~evil laugh~

Yami Hades: Grr... this body can exist in space anyway! It doesn't need life support!

Koopa Xtreme: No, that body can exist within the atmosphere of the Cheese Star. Your adventures outside were in that atmosphere.

Disembodied Voice: Countdown: a little while until all the air is uséd up.

~Inside Yami Yoshi's mind...~

Yami Yoshi: We've got to work on finding a way out immediately, not argue with Koopa. Pharoah?

~Outside...~

Yami: MIND CRUSH!!

~Yami Yoshi's body slumps, and before hitting the ground, rises to its feet again. Yami runs towards Knock.~

Pharoah Yami Yoshi (now in control): You can at least get us back to that gnome's room, right?

Knock: I'm afraid that's all I can do, I don't sense many wooden doors on this thing.

Pharoah: It'll have to do!

~Pharoah leaps through Knock, after which Knock closes and disappears into the room he has teleported to.

Elsewhere, in the docking bay (now poorly lit due to the fact that the ship is on backupbackup power), SSG and Chizu meet up with Legion/Luigi, Kantii/Sapphire, and Kuria/Vorpal...~

Chizu: Guys! They've taken SwordMaster down to Talon!

Legion: We have to get off this thing ASAP anyway... you guys heard that disembodied voice too, right?

Chizu: Yes, but where's Lila? And Yami Yoshi, along with Knock?

Legion: We just have to trust Yami Yoshi can handle himself--we don't want to leave this area just to find we can't come back for some reason. Lila is fine, she's with PL-0TT, who can probably sustain her if worst comes to worst.

Chizu: With anyone but GORE, that thing goes nuts!

Kantii: It's fine with Lila, don't worry about it.

SSG: But we should still wait for them until the last possible minute.

~The walls open up, revealing escape pods. A Party Goer's body is in each one, except for four others, which hold children that look to be 8-12 years old. Sapphire's body walks out of its escape pod.~

Sapphire's body: The only problem with the last possible minute is that I'll be able to delay you sixty more seconds.

Sapphire: You--

SSG: Not if I shoot you.

Sapphire's body: See, that was the problem with Rojo's body. Nobody cared if that got hurt. Sapphy's body, on the other hand, is very precious, at least to one of you.

Everybody: ...

Sapphire's body: It's meeee! Ihsoy! You see, when I was working with Goren--

Legion: ~whips out his pistol, aims it~ Ehhnough of that.

~Kantii/Sapphire swipes his arm at Legion's arm, making him drop the pistol.~

Sapphire's body: ~under breath~ I might not even have to move on to the main distraction if I really try... ~looks to the four children in escape pods~