Count Gonad

Full Name:
Birthdate:
Species: Human
Nationality: United States of America
Creator: GORE-ILLA
First Appearance: The OnGoing Adventures of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada

Background

A somewhat disturbing parody of Count Dooku, Gonad was originally Christopher Lee's stunt double in Star Wars (as well as a stunt double for Sean Connery) and was the second Sith apprentice of Bob Saget, known as Darth Testicus. He has been referred to as the Count of Dooshville and is perhaps the most disturbing of the villains due to his variety of weapons based on male anatomy. He's also gay. In the first GCPA OG, Stampede, Skanky Siren and Nemo battle him to get one of the Crystal Skulls. Saget fires him after bringing in That Krazy Dude as his new apprentice, which leads Gonad to retreat in his vehicle of choice, the Deathticle. In The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel, his brain appeared in the future as a pal of Mecha-Gorenicus.

He has also appeared often in sidequests, including his infamous race around the world with the GCPA. He also has a cousin named Baron von Chodemeister.

Gonad played a pivotal role in the GCPA Finale, where he threw a presidential ball where he was hoping to be elected the pirates' candidate for world president. He was able to capture Bob Saget's weakened body to use as leverage so that no one could question his power. At the same time, he secretly supported the vampire mermaids and sought to oust the pirates in favor of the vampire mermaids. However, his ball was sabotaged once Saget's whorecruxes and the Vikings attacked, and the GCPA also unveiled themselves. Gonad entered battle with Scruffy (whom had posed as his old friend Chester Box-Man) and John Stamos (who contained part of Saget's soul). He eventually betrayed Saget once again and destroyed the whorecrux Stamos, but was soon forced to abandon the battle. After Stampede was announced the presidential candidate in Gonad's place, Gonad was infuriated and tried to shoot him, only for Stampede to reflect the bullet through his eye. He then fell out the window, seemingly ending the count.