Galaxy Goers Page 1

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Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Yet another Party Goers spin-off, this one with a tasty sci-fi twist.

Mmm...

You are free to introduce new characters, or use your usual Author Characters, though it is suggestable that you make them a bit more sci-fi-ish. Anyway...

---

~This is Milliways. What once was a desolate place is now the highest-class restaurant in the galaxy. It would seem of little importance, since the universe is about to end in thirty standard minutes. The main lobby has a splendiferous dining room with a view and commentary of the ensuing destruction. There are other rooms for those who would like to enjoy their doom in solitude, however.

~We go to one of these, where we find Luigi of the Stars drinking from a flaming glass at the bar. Two enormous figures with spiked red coats and shruken saurian heads stand to either side of him, aka Slorg and Splot.~

Luigi: He said he'd meet us here?

Slorg: ~gruntughStopAskingguhhhThat.~

Luigi: Cuz he's like, two hours late. We won't even have time for the dive at this rate. And you're not allowed to talk for the rest of the story.

Splot: ~gahhhWhatAboutgummuhhhMe?~

Luigi: You too.

~Slort walks in. The background audience starts to cheer and whistle, just like on a sitcom. Slort walks over to Luigi and hops onto the barstool.~

Slort: Unut paga tersupla.

Luigi: What?

Slort: Pabie nokgo.

Luigi: Okay, you're not allowed to talk for the rest of the story, either.

~Slort sighs and spits a vial onto the counter, which has a very tiny bit of a dark red liquid inside. Luigi shrugs and drinks it.~

Slort: [Careless. Not like the usual Luigi. I guess that's what money does to you...]

Luigi: You can talk!?

Slort: [More like you can understand. You may feel like you have telepathic or telekinetic powers, but it's just a side effect. I didn't give you enough for them to actually develop.]

Luigi: Enough of what?

Slort: [My blood. Skipping elaboration, it lets you understand what I'm saying. Even a babel fish can't translate it.]

Luigi: Oh. You're the client, I take it?

Slort: [Uh, no. I just wanted a gyen and tomis. And since you can understand me, you'll be quite willing to order it?]

Luigi: Fah. ~orders~

Slort: [So, what are you up to these days?]

Luigi: I'm a Volcano Diver. The only one--no one else can take the heat, I suppose. I go into volcanoes or to lava-covered planets to look for signs of civilization, precious minerals, places to settle... pretty much any service you could think of. The pay is ~sly grin~ considerable. ~looks up~ Ah, now THAT is my client...

Author: Masamune

Computer: Space Date 2345, 7.4. The spaceship, the Bladechappe soars through the vastness of space for prey.

Zebesian Pirate: Captain, we've detected a ship ahead.

~the captain char swivels around and (gasp) Masamune stands~

Masamune: Excellent. Bring us into range and send our 'greeting'.

Zebesian Pirate: Yes sir.

Masamune: It's not the same as my old days of having a useless fleet of flightless birds.

Lt. Cho: *stands up. He's a chozo* Well, you have me, sir.

Masamune: Don't remind me. As soon as we take this ship down, set in a course for Milliways. I'm getting hungry.

Lt. Cho: Aye sir.

Author: Mario Jr.

Lt. Cho: Sir! An incoming message from the other ship.

Masa: Bring it up. Let's see what the the sniveling cowards want before we destroy them.

(To his surprise, a rather beautiful woman with cat ears appears on the screen. She was dark-skinned, with flowing red hair and cat ears. She wore alot of tribal jewerly that seemed African in origin.)

Masa: I see they've sent us this woman to grovel for them.

Nefertina: On contrary, it is you who should be begging for mercy.

Masa: Eh?

Nefertina: You have stumbled into Neko-Neko territory. Right now you're surrounded by millions of cloked Nekotian starships all ready to fire on your ship.

Masa: You're bluffing! ... We would have sensed them on our scanners.

Nefertina: Perhaps. Oh, and I've taken the liberty of disabling all your computers, rendering your weapons useless.

Lt. Cho: She's right! The computers are down.

Masa: *wipes his forehead* Ay, fair enough lady. We shall turn back.

Nefertina: I don't think that's possible. You have trespassed into our terriotory. You know of the location of our planet and we cannot let you live.

Masa: What planet?

(Nefertina turns to the side and slowly waves her hand. Almost immediately, Masa's ship dectects a planet that wasn't there before.)

Lt Cho: Scanner detect a planet, approximately the same size as earth with with a breathable atmoshere and mostly tropical climate. It's almost as if it appeared out nowhere!

Nefertina: As you can see, we can't allow anyone to know the existence of our world. We cannot allow you to leave. Trespassing into our territory is punishable by death.

Masa: *sweatdrop* Perhaps I can negotiate with your leader.

Nefertina: I am the leader. I am Emperess Nefertina Kanuffa Leona Sabreclaw XVIII, supreme ruler of the Neko-Neko Empire.

Author: Masamune

Masamune: *presses a button on his chair that cuts transmissions* What do you make of it, Lt. Cho?

Lt. Cho: An annoyance. My people have encountered them before. Their bark is worse than their bite.

Masamune: As I expected. Still, it would be rude to just leave. Ideas?

Lt. Cho: A disruptor mine would be effective. With a encrypted signature pattern, it would be otherwise undetectable until too late.

Masamune: I do like that idea. Hm... yes, let's go with that.

Lt. Cho: Aye.

Masamune: Man, I feel like Captain Picard.

Lt. Cho: Who?

Masamune: Oh, just a person from ancient media. Just set the mine and activate the temporal shifter. I'm hungry.

Computer: Initiating Temporal Transfer....

~Milliways~

Computer: Access Granted. Welcome. Captain Masamune. And. Lieutenant Cho. Your server. Will be with. You soon.

Masamune: Bah, stupid computers. Three hundred years and the stupid things still talk weird.

Lt. Cho: To be fair, Milliways was built in 2150.

Masamune: I know, I know. But still. Shut up.

Author: GM

(At another table sat three Itoli guards. Most Itol, like the ones sitting here, had snow-white skin, black or white hair, long pointy ears, and eyes that seemed to have no pupils and were one solid color. The three Itol guards were Kolan, a male with short black hair and blue eyes, Loter, a large mute male Itol with long white hair and black eyes, and Datana, a female with long straight black hair and green eyes. They were siblings, and had come to Milliways to relax after guarding an Itoli ambassador on a return trip. Kolan was reading a paper.)

Datana: So, anything new happen?

Kolan: Doesn't look like it. Blah blah blah politics blah blah blah treaties. Wait...

Datana: Huh?

Loter: ...?

Kolan: You know the current Neko-Neko Emperess? There's a picture of her in the paper. She's pretty hot.

Datana: You don't say. Well, don't get your hopes up. I doubt you have a chance with her.

Kolan: Bah, you're no fun... And I'm done. Today's a slow day.

(Kolan put the paper down. Since no one was using it, Datana picked it up. After skimming through it a bit, she saw the picture of the Neko-Neko Emperess. She was indeed beautiful, but there was something else about her that Datana found familiar. She couldn't put her finger on it though.)

_______________________

(At another table sat two Human male bounty hunters. Well, one was technically a man. The other was a brain in a small floating jar with pincers. These two were Giuseppe Masteri, or GM, and Don Miguel Galucavich. GM had black hair that he managed to make into both a mohawk and a ponytail. He also wore a black duster with his initials written on the back in silver blood of a fallen opponent. His arms and legs were also cybernetic, though you couldn't tell be looking at him. Don Miguel was the brain in the jar. They had just turned in a bounty worth a lot of money, and as usual, spent it at Milliways.)

GM: So, what're you having this time?

Don Miguel: *sigh* You know that I always get water. Why do you keep asking me that?

GM: Just in case you surprise me one day.

Don Miguel: So what are you getting this time?

GM: Viel marsal, two burgers, calamari, and some fries.

Don Miguel: Viel marsal!? Don't you know that's made from baby cows!? Those poor baby cows!?

GM: Not anymore.

Don Miguel: Huh?

GM: You know those boneless, featherless, legless, beakless, genetically engineered chicken with tubes crammed into them that KFC uses to make their boneless chicken meals? They recently started doing that with cows too.

Don Miguel: But still, those poor baby cows!

GM: Eh... Hey, look behind you.

(Don Miguel turned around. A few tables away was a Bask known as Depkon. Bask were known for being one of the most technologically advanced races in the galaxy as well as for their psychic powers. Due to these, they were also known for their ethnocentrism, and they treated other races as inferior. Their culture was singular and atheistic. They'd be isolated too if trade with other planets wasn't necisary. Like all Bask, Depkon wore a cybernetic suit that covered every inch of his body. Like GM and Don Miguel, he was a bounty hunter. Thing was, Bask bounty hunters usually only hunted to show off their superiority, and killed bounties rather than turn them in. Since bounties had to be brought in alive, this pissed off other bounty hunters. GM once got into a fight with Depkon over this and lost. Badly.)

Don Miguel: Yep. I see him.

GM: Why do you think he even comes to Milliways. He never orders anything. Probably thinks the food is beneath him or something.

Don Miguel: GM, don't start another fight.

GM: Why do you think I'm always trying to fight with him?

Don Miguel: Why do you always point him out every time you see him.

Depkon: If you plan to start a fight with me, I suggest you forget about it. You still don't stand a chance against a Bask, and you never will.

(The two turned to Depkon, who wasn't even looking at them.)

GM: ...Ah, whatever. The waitress is coming.

Don Miguel: Hey, she's kinda cute. What do you think my chances with her are?

GM: Honestly?

Don Miguel: Yes.

GM: Zero.

Author: Golem

~The waitress was about five foot two, with a long white scarf tied around her waist as a belt. Though her torso looked to be that of a woman's in its oxford T-shirt, her legs got wider from top to bottom, making them resemble Mega Man X's legs in her denim pants. On the front of her right shoulder was a nametag that read "Rhykette."

...She's a robot.

And on her way to the table with GM and Don, she noticed the newspaper on the table of Kolan and Datana. She then got a glimpse of Datana's face and stopped at that table, looking at Datana.~

Rhykette: Hey! I recognize you! You're in with the Neko-Nekos, aren't you?

Datana: What?

Rhykette: You heard me!

~A pause. Rhykette looks around, then walks over to GM and Don's table.~

Datana: Um. What?

~Over at the other table...~

Rhykette: How are you gentlemen !! You have no chance to survive make your order !!

GM: ...?

Rhykette: Erm, sorry, I guess that routine is getting a little old. Are you guys ready to order?

GM: Yes, I'll start with the Viel marsal, two hamburgers, the calamari, and some fries.

Rhykette: Sorry, sir, we don't offer Viel marsal at the moment. I'm not really supposed to say this, but for the plot's sake... all of the cows that were boneless, legless, and generally revolting have been stolen by the Neko- Neko Empire.

GM: Okay?? I guess I'll just have two hamburgers, the calamari, and some fries, then.

Rhykette: ~turns to Don~ And you, sir?

Don: I'll have a glass of water.

Rhykette: Oh, good order, sir. The water is the head chef's specialty. You're in for a treat.
So, um. If anything even slightly interesting happens around here I'd appreciate it if I was involved. Or maybe if, you know, some information actually relevant to the plot comes up.

Author: Fred

A sudden, small commotion befalls Milliways, as the walls begin to shake violently. However, the band keeps playing and for the most part nobody notices the roof falling in on them, the doors swinging open loudly, or all the windows breaking and sucking people into the vacuum of space. The smashing sudden ceases, not that anyone notices, and those who do notice, call their phychiatrists immediately. This is because the people at Miliways are generally quite rich, and refuse to believe that anything bad could possibly happen to them. Outside, two spaceships are docked on each other. Masamune's, and a small war ship of the Necktie Fan Club Federation, spanning a great deal of the universe and owning dozens of planets.

"This is a reserved spot! I actually payed money for this thing! And look at the dents in my baby, here! Hey, don't walk away! I'm not done with you!" ,barked Masamune, who was flustered by his warping bringing him into the path of another ship. The two figures that came from the other ship did indeed enter Milliways, and did indeed move near to Luigi of the Stars. One was tall, grey-faced, fire-breathing, sharp-toothed, monster-eyed, and also wearing a captain's dress (Actual dress, looks asimilar to Captain Picards, except it is indeed a dress), and holding in one hand a blaster, and in the other hand a bag of potato chips. The smaller figure was yellow, with two heads, each with flowing red hair out the back. It was humanlike, but acted more violently and dangerously than the other. It also held a roman candle with laser sword attachment by his side.

The Tall grey figure spoke. "Luigi of the Stars? I am Captain Absoloutely nobody of the Starship GreaseFire, here to employ you as a janitor on our ship as we fight the Neko Neko empire."

Luigi of the Stars looked puzzled. He protested. "Well, Janitorial doings are all well and good, but that's not my forte-"

Both heads of the smaller, yellow figure snickered. The left one spoke "Man, AN, I told you he'd fall for it!"

Captain Absoloutely Nobody turned to him and shushed him. "YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, Sometwo Else! But I certainly did get him. We actually need you to retrieve a boot that fell down a volcano."

"A boot?" Said Luigi of the Stars, " A boot? You're offering me five million space YEN for that? I mean, I'll do it, and I've done some crazy things for boots, but..."

Captain Absoloutely Nobody was displeased. "You do not question orders, unless they are placed at an eating establishment like this one, where you do it 200% of the time! We won't tolerate failure."

Sometwo Else's mouths both spoke rather quickly. "I do, but my opinion doesn't count."

Captain Absoloutely Nobody grinned. "Good, SE, you're finally getting what I've been trying to get across to you! I'm so proud."

Luigi of the Stars thought about his options, thinking about how much he'd enjoy strangling his employers. He then realised it was not any more than most people in office workspaces did, and decided to figure out the rest of the deal. "So, is the cash up front?"

Suddenly, tables turned over. GM and Depkon jumped at each other, punching eahc other in midair. As well, another few men had just fired off rounds into the air, and Masamune had rounded up his pirates, and armed them with stale bread, and brought them in, pointing at AN and SE, yelling "Those are the ones!".

Luigi of the Stars sighed and ordered another drink.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Luigi: So where is this boot?

AN: ~dodges thrown bread~ It's in a volcano on the planet of AlphaTwoSectorJ5ElevenPiCueball9er. For suspense, we won't tell you WHICH volcano.

SE: ~is pelted by bread~ Augh argh my eyes!

Masamune: Press your advantage!

Luigi: Mm. ~is hit by bread~ Slorg! Splot! Go break that guy's thumbs!

Slorg/Splot: ~gruntughYes.~

Computer: Slorg and Splot lope over, bread bouncing off of their chests, and step on Masamune's feet very hard.

Luigi: Close enough.

Masamune: ARGH! I expected better of yeh, Luigi!

Slort: [So did I...]

Luigi: What?

Slort: [Nothing.]

Luigi: ~stands up~ Okay, I'm on it. Will you be providing transport?

AN: Absolutely Nobody. I mean, Not.

Luigi: I'll find a ship, then. ~whistles to Slorg and Splot, who have grabbed GM and Depkon and are holding them away from each other~

Rhykette: Wait, sir. You just saved my job by having your lackies break up these bar fights before I could. I'm programmed to give you a, um, "life" debt, so to speak. More like a deprogrammed debt.

Luigi: So?

Rhykette: I shall escort you. We can be like, the first Galaxy Goers ever.

Luigi: Eh?

Rhykette: It's an old saying.

Author: Masamune

Luigi: Before we leave, why did you call me Luigi?

Masamune: Because you're Luigi of the Pipes, genius.

Luigi: Actually I'm Luigi of the Stars, but I applaud you for being so close.

Masamune: Listen, I told you like... four hundred years ago I wasn't calling you 'of the Stars'. And I haven't changed my mind.

Luigi: I think you have me confused for someone else.

Masamune: Maybe. But *holds up Slort* I know him.

Slort: [It's true.]

Masamune: He talks in a made up language.

Slort: [Okay, that's just lies.]

Masamune: See?

Luigi: Well, I actually need to be going. Although I do question my existence. My two jobs of the day, ordering a drink for somebody and getting a boot.

Masamune: Sounds like you have occupational problems. Want to become a pirate?

Luigi: No. Guys, let's go.

Rhykette: Yay, I guess. Adventure here we come.

Masamune: *watching them leave* Huh, Galaxy Goers. Why does that remind me of something.

~suddenly a male Neko Neko cat-soldier type person burst in~

Masamune: Oh.

Neko Neko person: I am Atropor. The Neko-Neko Bounty Hunter. Surrender now and your death will only be slightly less painful than a million deaths.

Masamune: See, here's the thing. I have this thing where I can't die and prison makes me claustrophobic.

Atroper: That does suck. But I'm afraid I have to apprehend you anyways.

Masamune: I see. *throws stale bread at his head and runs*

Atroper: Hey what's in this... *sniffs it* Oh... catnip... uh oh.

Lt. Cho: I don't think that was very fair.

Masamune: How many times do I have to tell you, pirates don't do fair!

Atroper: BOOYA! DO I FEEL GOOD TONIGHT! WHO WANTS THIS!?

Masamune: Okay, that was just wrong. Let's get out of here.

Author: GM

Splot: ~GruntugHelp~

(Splot, the guy that was restraining Depkon, was now floating in the air. Apparently he forgot that Bask have psychic powers. Depkon beat poor Splot against the grounds several times, dropping him when he thought he either killed or knocked him out. He then turned to Slorg, still restraining GM.)

GM: Uh oh. You mind letting me g-

(Too late. They were mentally picked up and hurled into a wall.)

GM: Ow!

Slorg: ~GrugDittoug~

(Having proved his point, Depkon sat back down and picked up a newspaper.)

Depkon: Saurians. What idiots they are.
______________

(Back with the Itoli guards, two of who were watching.)

Kolan: Well, that was interesting.

Loter: ...

Kolan: Sis, did you see that?

Datana: *looks up from paper* What?

Kolan: ...Ah, nevermind.
_______________

(Back with Luigi and the others.)

Rhykette: Um, it doesn't seem like your friends did too well.

Luigi: Don't worry about them. They've been through worse than that. They'll be fine.

Rhykette: So, you were going to find a ship?

Luigi: Right.

GM: ...Hey buddy.

(Luigi turned his head toward the guy who was walking toward him, dusting himself off.)

GM: You're looking for a ship?

Luigi: Why do you want to know?

GM: No reason. Just helping out. By the way, name's GM, bounty hunter.

Luigi: Hmm.

GM: Now, I'd give you a ride, for a price, but I thought of something that would be even more rewarding for both of us.

Luigi: Oh?

GM: That guy who just beat up your friends? He has a ship. I have a friend who can hijack said ship. For a price.

Luigi: You said you were a bounty hunter, but charging people for your services sounds like a mercenary thing to me.

GM: Well, whatever. I just want to piss that Depkon guy off. Now, where's my friend?
________________

Don Miguel: Do you think I have a chance with the waitress?

AN: No.

Don Miguel: Why not?

AN: Because she's a robot and you're a brain in a jar.

Don Miguel: Why does no one support me?

Author: Mario Jr.

(A red headed female Neko gets up from table and gets smacked to the ground by a bunch of Space Pirates running past her in some sort of hurry.)

Lt Cho: It's tat Neko Queen from before!

Red-Head: Neko Queen...?

Masa: Well what are you waiting for? Tell your bounty hunter to stand down!

Red-Hunter: What bounty hunter?--

(The Neko lady turns around just in time to see the Neko Neko male ramapaging in their direction, smashing up tables and and thowing people everywhere.)

Red-Head: What the hell is that?

Lt Cho: You should know! You sent it!

Red-Head: I don't even know what it is! I've never seen anything like that in my life.

Masa: Well have you looked in a mirror lately?

Red-Head: ...

(The Neko lady screams as the male Neko swings his sword at them but stops within inches of her face. The Neko lady slowly opens up her eyes to see to the look of utter disbelief in his face.)

Neko Bounty Hunter: Your... highness?

Red-Head: Your whatness!?

(The Neko male immediately bows down before her and starts groveling at her feet. The Neko lady seemed just as confused as Masa and Lt Cho were.)

Neko Bounty Hunter: My sincerest apologies, Supreme Emperess Nefertina. I had no idea it was you.

Red-Head: I don't know what you're talking about! My name's Tiffany Katrov. I'm just a lawyer.

Neko Bounty Hunter: To make up for my error, I shall now honorably take my own life.

(The Neko male gets up and holds his sword to his heart, seeming very intent on keeping his word.)

Tiffa: Hey now! Don't do that... er, what I mean is... I fogive you this once. But next time I won't be so easy on you! HO! HO!HO!

Neko Bounty Hunter: *tears up* Thank you Supreme Emperess!

(The Neko male gave her one last bow before heading off. Tiffany just stares blankly in his direction.)

Tiffa: Geez! What was that all about....? Hey! Where are those two pirates that bumped into me!

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Computer: Luigi, Rhykette, GM, Don Miguel, Slorg, and Splot casually walk through Milliways, then run when they reach the hangar. Rhykette stops when she sees the ship in question.

Rhykette: Wait, we're stealing a Bask's ship?

GM: Yeah. Why?

Rhykette: Well, Basks are psychic, right? Which means that he knew we were going to steal his ship a few minutes ago.

Computer: The hangar door bursts open. Depkon storms in and whips out some very nasty looking weapons-- a pair of long slugthrowers with laser swords attached like bayonets.

Depkon: You little sons of--

GM: Dammit! ~throws Don Miguel at the ship~ Do your magic! Put up a psychic shield, too!

Don Miguel: Don't rush me! I never got my water!

GM: ~spits at him~

Don Miguel: Oh, yes, that helps.

Luigi: I hope you know how to hold this guy off... Slorg, Splot!

GM: Well...

Computer: Slorg and Splot run at Depkon, pulling out their flamethrowers, but are telekinetically thrown backwards. They randomly shoot fireballs into the ceiling as they struggle to get to their feet. GM whips out a pair of blasters and Luigi pulls a pair of laser swords off of his belt. They run at Depkon, protected from his telekinesis by Don Miguel's psychic shield, and engage in a rapid battle which more or less has them losing. Rhykette flies into the air with her jet boots and starts firing lasers from her fingers. Depkon jumps behind a ship for cover.

Don Miguel: Got it!

Luigi: Go!

Computer: GM shrugs and runs for the ship. Rhykette stops to get Slorg and Splot to their feet, then flies after Slorg and Splot fire a pair of fireballs at Luigi, who catches them, causes them to expand, and throws them at the ground, creating a wall of fire. He jumps onto the ship last and they take off.

Depkon: You... DAMN YOU!

Waitress: Your drink, sir. ~offers tray~

Depkon: Ah, thank you.

Author: Masamune

~Meanwhile, on the Bladechappe~

Lt. Cho: Those people were weird.

Masamune: Those Neko-Neko people are weird. Maybe we should relocate to another time period where they don't exist.

Lt. Cho: You actually have an appointment. Remember when we found her body floating around in space, dead?

Masamune: Oh yeah...

Lt. Cho: And you pencilled it in for TODAY to go back in time and intercept?

Masamune: Well, it's time travel. I'll do it next cycle.

Lt. Cho: You've said that for the last ten cycles.

Masamune: Hey, I just like being consistent!

Lt. Cho: Doesn't it sort of concern you that your wife is floating DEAD IN SPACE?

Masamune: Well yeah... but... okay fine. I will.

Lt. Cho: Activating the Temporal Transfer, captain.

Masamune: Good. Just uh, have her appear in the hangar.

~~~

Computer: Initiate

Flashback - Earth Year 2037

~the scene is a gentle park~

Ashley: Our son is growing up so fast.

Masamune: He still looks four to me.

Ashley: I didn't mean literally.

Masamune: Oh.

Ashley: I just wish you didn't name him Dodo.

Masamune: Well, Luigi Jr. was taken after all.

Ashley: I love- *suddenly is sucked into a freak black hole*

Masamune: Oh.

~~~

Computer: Resume Normal Time, Flashback Ended.

~inside the ship's hangar~

Ashley: -you...?

Masamune: Yeah, me too.

Ashley: What happened, where am I?

Masamune: Umm. My uh, new ship. Surprise?

Ashley: I'm confused.

Masamune: You get used to it.

Author: Nintenfreak

Whizzing past the many little specks of light which scientist in their day know to be made from witchcraft, the ship takes off for its destination. However, some forces reguarded their little adventure with envious eyes, and with infinate greed and patience, made their move.

Suddenly, in front of the stolen vessel, a large forcefield appeared, like a giant screen door which prevented them from completeing their journey.

"What the hell is that?" asked GM. Though he had seen many strange and curious things in his time, this one took the cake.

"Our scanners are useless. Whatever that's made of, we can't tell," responded Rhykette.

It was at that instant that a large sphereical ball appeared in the middle of the room, and out stepped a tall man in antebellum clothing. "Ah," he said, "these are the Galaxy Goers I've heard so much about."

"Who are you, and what do you want with us?" Demanded GM

"I'm so sorry, between all this commotion, I forgot to introduce myself, I am N. As for what I'm doing here, oh, it's quite simple. You see, while you may not know it, your soon to be exploits have become quite a nuissance to the N Continuum, so we're putting you on trial for crimes against insanity."

"This is an outrage!" shouted Don, "Let's put a stop to this nonsence right now!" He held out his weapon, but before he could fire, was paralyzed.

"Now I won't be having this kind of behaviour in my court!" And as N said this, the entire room transformed into a courthouse from colonial American times. "How do the defendants answer to the crime of being too nosy and too smarmy for their own good?"

An entire courtroom of people mysteriously appeared with shouts of, "Guilty! And burn the witches!"

"Don't we even get a chance to defend ourselves? What about our friend?" Asked Rhykette.

"Typical human behavior. You freeze some guy brandashing a fire-arm, and suddenly you're the villian," said N as the clapped and returned Don to normal. "Very well, if you think you can possibly defend yourselves, you're more than welcome to."

"I demand a test!" shouted GM.

"An oral test!" said Rhykette

"A janitorial test!" said Luigi.

"Wawoowerapthooo!" said Slort.

"Very well," said N, "You will be tested upon how well you handle problems. If you fail, it will be your last!"

Suddenly the courtroom disappeared, the ship returned to normal, and the screendoor holding them back now swung wildly open, like the screendoors of so many southern crapshacks.

Author: Masamune

~Back on the Bladechappe~

Masamune: This is Lt. Cho.

Lt. Cho: *nods* Ma'am.

Ashley: What happened to Lt. Snagret?

Masamune: *thinks* Um... oh yeah, old age.

Ashley: ... old age? Where's our son?

Masamune: Dead. From uh, old age. He led a good life.

Ashley: What year is this!?

Masamune: Um. *looks at controls* 2345.

Ashley: I went 308 years into the future?

Lt. Cho: Technically only 212 years, we went back in time to pick you up. The black hole had actually ejected you in space where you promptly died.

Ashley: Why does this stupid time travel always happen to me? Like how I got sent back in time as a kid to accompany my dad before I was even born.

Lt. Cho: Curious. Perhaps we should run some scans later on. It's possible your Force powers have an effect on time.

Masamune: Yeah. After we plunder some ships.

Ashley: *sighs* You went back into piracy.

Masamune: ... yes...

Lt. Cho: *suddenly stands up* Sir! I detect someone on the ship...

Zebesian Pirate: I see nothing on the scanners...

Lt. Cho: I can sense him... a powerful psychic.

~a figure steps out~

Depkon: A chozo, but of course. On a zebesian space ship... with humans on board. How very curious.

Masamune: Only I can monologue on this ship!

Depkon: I have to say you have an odd crew. A Force-powered human and one with... what do you humans call it, magic or something?

Masamune: What do you want?

Lt. Cho: He wants the ship.

Masamune: You sure?

Depkon: Well he did read my mind.

Masamune: Hey! I ordered you not to do that on this ship!

Lt. Cho: ... sorry.

Depkon: My ship was stolen. I want it back. I boarded your ship back at Milliways.

Masamune: Why?

Depkon: It is the only one advanced enough to pursue my ship. And that is pushing it.

Masamune: Yeah well, uh. What's in it for me?

Depkon: I'm sure I can manage a suitable reward, if that's what you care for.

Masamune: Excellent, I'm in.

Ashley: *sighs* Here we go again.

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