Galaxy Goers Page 5

Pages in Galaxy Goers

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Author: GM

(Back on Nirgal's ship...)

Datana: No time to screw around! We need to get into one of the ships!

(The Neko brig guard nods and runs over to a nearby Neko-Neko supply carrier. He presses a few buttons on the console near the door and opens it.

NBG: There! The security's down! I'd give you a fighter, but these fit multiple people and the controls are close to regular civilian ships.

Tiffa: Why are you helping us?

NBG: What can I say? I have a weakness for cute humans. Speaking of which, where'd he go?

(They looked around, but Jorge was nowhere to be found.)

Tiffa: Jorge!

NBG: That's weird. Well, he couldn't have gone far. You two take that one, and I'll put him on another one after I've opened the hanger doors. The other guards could come in at any moment.

Tiffa: If you say so. Thanks for the help!

(Datana opens the door, lets Tiffa get in first, then jumps into the driver's seat. She started the engine up.)

Tiffa: Day... That general-

Datana: I heard.

Tiffa: ...What am I going to do?

(Datana took her hand, held it gently, and looked her in the eyes.)

Datana: Don't worry, Tiffa. I'm here with you now. I'll help you in any way I can.

Tiffa: Day...

Datana: Okay, the hanger doors are opening. Here we go.

(Once the doors were wide enough to fit through, Datana flew the ship through them and out.)
__________

(Meanwhile, Kolan and Loter were dueling with the two guards Nirgal sent after them; laser blades vs. energy lance. The guard fighting Loter managed to block his attacks, but the large Itoli's strikes were strong, and the guard had trouble keeping his stance. An upper strike gave Loter an opening, so he disembowled the guard. He slashed him one more time to finish him off. Then he charged toward the guard his brother was fighting and sliced him in the back. The guard screamed and fell.)

Kolan: Thanks for the help, Loter. Not that I couldn't have defeated him without your help.

Loter: ...

(Kolan then notices Andi again.)

Kolan: Hey, how come you didn't help out?

Andi: There were only two, and you two seemed to have been capable of defending yourselves.

Kolan: We could've ended the fight faster Ms. "I'll-Break-Your-Neck-And-Throw-You-In-The-Airlock".

Andi: I was bluffing that time. I'm only a sexbot.

Kolan: That does explain the outfit, but then why did you stay with us!?

Nirgal: TIFARA!!!

Kolan: Eh?

(General Nirgal stumbled down the hallway, still holding his head.)

Kolan: Oh, it's you. Yeah, "Tifara" won't be coming back. She's probably long gone by now.

Nirgal: This ship is filled with Neko-Neko soldiers. They've probably got her. You've wasted your time.

Kolan: Well, I guess we'll have to kill your guards then, won't we? But do you want us to take care of you first?

Nirgal: Funny. That's real funny. An Itoli defeating a Neko?

(Andi wasn't very familiar with Kolan, so she only knew him as the guy who was traveling with Tiffa's friend and always seemed annoyed. Now, he seemed like a different person with his calm, yet sadistic expression. Loter also looked different. He looked a lot more serious.)

Kolan: You wouldn't think it's funny if you knew who I am.

(Nirgal had enough. He charged toward the guy who was taunting him. Kolan just stood there, smirking and motioning him to approach with his hand. Nirgal leaped at him, but before he reached him, Loter stepped up and punched him square in the face. Nirgal tumbled through the air before landing a few feet away.)

Kolan: We may look like bodyguards, but that's just a side job.

(Nirgal managed to stagger back up. He was dazed at first, but he quickly got better.)

Kolan: General, as Doku the Judge, I find you guilty of being the reason we had to drag our asses all over the galaxy, upsetting our dear sister by kidnapping her friend, and attempting to assault me. Your sentence is either a beating if you surrender, or death if you don't.

Nirgal: You don't realize who you're dealing with! I'm the strongest person in the Neko-Neko army!

Kolan: We've dealt with worse than you. Borgia, you wanna fight him?

Loter: *nods*

Kolan: Barefisted?

Loter: *shrugs*

Kolan: Okay then.

Nirgal: You're wasting my time! I must be with Tifara!

(He charges toward them again.)

Kolan: You're not getting past us!

(Loter charged too. He swung at the general, but he ducked and punched him in the stomach, following it with an uppercut. Loter tumbled back, but stayed on his feet. Nirgal took another swing at him, but Loter jumped back, then jumped toward him again and hit him in the face with a right hook. Kolan and Andi watched as the two of them brawled.)

Kolan: Hey, sexbot. If you ever see my sister again, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her about that "Doku and Borgia" stuff. She doesn't know.

Andi: What are you? Seriel killers.

Kolan: Of course not, but our activities aren't exactly legal.

(Despite Nirgal's early lead, Loter was starting to gain the advantage. He headbutted Nirgal and followed with punches to the head and stomach. Nirgal stumbled back and began to reach for his gun.)

Kolan: Looks like the fight'll have to end early, huh sexbot? Well, the guards will be here soon anyway.

(Kolan took out a small blade from his vest and tossed it. It flew past the general's neck just as he brought the gun up to Loter, and blood spurted out. He grabbed his neck, and Loter punched him one last time. When the general was down, Loter glared at Kolan.)

Kolan: Hey, you stole my kill earlier.

Andi: I'm gonna find the hanger now...

Kolan: Hey, wait for us!

Loter: ...

(When they were gone, a group of guards reached the general.)

Neko Guard 1: General Nirgal!

(Another guard inspects the body.)

Neko Guard 2: The cut wasn't deep enough to kill him! He can still be saved! Get him down to the medical ward!
__________

(Kolan, Loter, and Andi reached the entrance, but it was very heavily guarded.)

Kolan: Damn!

Jorge: Hey, guys, over here!

(They turned to see Jorge, hiding in the shadows like the brig guard was earlier.)

Andi: Oh great...

Jorge: Sorry. I couldn't leave without you, dear.

Andi: Right...

Jorge: Follow me! I'll take you to the hanger!

(They followed him through the ventilation shaft.)

Kolan: Where's my sister?

Jorge: She and Tiffa took off already.

Kolan: Do you know where they're going?

Jorge: No, sorry...

(Kolan whispers a swear in response. They then reached the hanger. There still weren't any guards in there because they thought that the entrance was so well guarded the prisoners couldn't have gotten past. This is the only excuse I can come up with. But hey, it's sci-fi, some things aren't suppose to make sense. The brig guard spots them.)

NBG: There, you are, honey! I've been looking for you! Where'd you go?

Kolan: Honey?

Andi: Don't ask.

Jorge: Um, yeah. I went back for Andi.

NBG: Okay, but she isn't anything compared to me.

Jorge: Can you just open a ship for us.

Kolan: Make that two ships. Loter and I are going to find Datana.

Jorge: So're we!

Kolan: No, you're not! You and the sexbot are just two civilians who got mixed up in all this. You'll just slow us down, so go back to Milliways.

Jorge: But-

Kolan: Also, Jorge... I just don't like you.

Andi: I don't like him either, so can I come too?

Kolan: If you were as helpful as you were back there, then no!

NBG: Right, I'm just gonna open those two ships now...
__________

(In the main control room...)

Neko Lt.: The general's dead!?

Neko Guard 1: No sir, just injured.

Neko Lt: And the prisoners!?

Neko Guard 1: We still haven't found them, but we do have a few guard casualities.

Neko Lt.: Damn it!

Neko Guard: Sir, three Neko ships have arrived. They're sending a transmission.

Neko Lt.: Patch it through.

(The image of another Neko general apeared.)

Neko Lt.: Good thing you're here! We have-

Neko General Guy: Silence! By order of the Neko-Neko Empire, everyone on this ship is under arrest for the assassination of the Emperess! If another ship flies out of the hanger, we'll destroy it! Any resistence will result in the destruction of your ship!

Neko Lt.: ...What? WHAT!?
__________

(Back with Tiffa and Datana...)

Tiffa: That's strange. How come we aren't being followed?

Datana: I don't know, but it's a good thing they're not.

Tiffa: I just want to go home. I'm tired of this.

Datana: While the death of the Emperess will most likely cause some political problems and slow down their attempts to find you, they'll eventually get back to tracking you down. They can easily find out where you live.

Tiffa: Then where am I suppose to go?

Datana: You can hide out at my place for a little while, at least until we can make sure you're saf-

(Suddenly, something struck the ship, and it shook violently.)

Datana: What was that!? Are we under attack!?

Tiffa: The scanners doesn't show any ships nearby. It was probably a meteor.

Datana: Great... The ship's taken damage. We need to stop somewhere to check it out.

Tiffa: There doesn't seem to be any colonies or stations nearby. There is a planet, though.

Datana: Can it's atmosphere support us?

Tiffa: Yeah.

Datana: Okay, then that's where we're stopping.

Author: Mario Jr.

(As soon as Kolan and Loter leave in their ship, Jorge and Andi board the second ship.)

Andi: Aren't you coming with us?

NBG: Naw, shoot! I wish! But I have some important business to take care of.

(The Neko Brig Guard then turns to Jorge and gently caresses his beloved's face. Jorge cringes at the touch of calloused man-hands rubbing against his cheeks.)

NBG: Until we meet again, my love, a kiss will have to do.

(Jorge nearly jumps out of his skin after feeling what felt like wet sandpaper slip into his mouth without so much as a warning. If Andi had a humor chip, she'd be beside herself with laughter right about now; the look on Jorge's face when the Neko Brig Guard pulls away was priceless.)

NBG: Farewell my bright, and shining star... Oh, I'm taking the robot girl with me.

Andi: Thank God!

Jorge: Waitaminute!

(Jorge tries to get up in protest but the Neko Brig Guard pushes him back to his seat and punches in a bunch of random buttons on the ship's computer. Then the two jumped the ship, just before the hatched closed and the ship took off automatically.)

NBG: It's a pity. I really was starting to like him.

Andi: Whatever. I just hope I never see him again.
_____________

(Elsewhere on the starship, the other Neko General, General Her Deschel, had already taken full command of what was left of Nirgal's fleet. As he was barking orders to the crew, getting things back in order, the Neko Scientist chick from before enters the room.)

Deschel: Are the results ready yet?

Neko Scientist Chick: Yes. The results are conclusive. This Tifara is nothing more than a fraud. I also switched her hair sample with a hair I plucked off my cat. General Nirgal didn't even know the difference.

(Two robed figures enter.)

Deschel: Ah, if it isn't the bounty hunter, Rhade, of Milliways fame? Great work exposing General Nirgal as a traitor to the Empire. Make no mistake, you will be handsomely rewarded.

(The two figures pull back their hoods to reveal themselves as the Neko Brig Guard and Andi.)

Rhade: Nah, I already got my reward right here. *pulls Andi closer to him* Not quite as good as her creator but hey! She has a nice rack.

Andi: Gee thanks....

Deschel: *laughs* Farbeit for me to judge the whims of a legendary war hero. I really wish you'd reconsider our offer. We could use a Neko like you on our force.

Rhade: Lt. Rhade sounds pretty nice but I'm thinking of joining the priesthood in the East Empire. This sweeet little catch here is coming with me.

Deschel: Very well then. The best of luck to you Rhade.

(Rhade simply nods and the two depart.)

Author: Masamune

~The Bladechappe and Lead Zeppelin are still locked in combat~

Computer: On the Bladechappe

Masamune: Great. One of the only other 700+ year old space-faring person of Scottish descent and I end up locked in battle with him.

Lt. Cho: Odd coincidence.

Computer: On the Lead Zeppelin.

Steve: Wonderful! Of all the people to get locked into battle, it has to be another 700+ year old space-faring person of Scottish descent!

Straw Man: He's not Scottish. He's japanese. 'Masamune'?

Steve: Shut up.

~the two ships exchange more fire~

Masamune: Dangit, do something Depkon!

Dekon: Like what? He's a soulless suit of armor, his mind is not exactly open for interrogation.

Masamune: You do something, Master Ditto.

Master Ditto: Dammit Mune, I'm a shape shifter not a a doctor.

Masamune: How would a doctor help?

Master Ditto: *shoots Masa*

Masamune: Oh I see. ASHLEY! Do something!

Ashley: Um, okay. *hits the computer* Hey Steve.

Steve: Minion!

Ashley: Yeah uh. I've decided to betray Masamune and work for you.

Steve: About time.

Ashley: I need you to lower the shields and beam me aboard.

Steve: Stupid shield clause. Why did they have to design this thing based off Star Trek? Is it that technologically impossible to beam someone on a ship with the shields up?

Felix: *shrugs* It's a tactical thing for battles.

Steve: Well you need to lower YOUR shields too.

Ashley: I can't because of... stuff. But I have some thing that makes me undetectable. High tech or something. Lots of big words.

Straw Man: That sounds convincing.

Steve: Sounds like a trap. Let's go for it.

Felix: Er, what?

Steve: Trust me.

Ashley: The channel is still open.

Steve: Dammit, Straw Man! *covers up the screen with his hand and a second later it goes out*

Masamune: Okay, now what?

Lt. Cho: We fire on them when they lower the shields.

Masamune: That's not very strategic. I mean, this is Steve. This should be more thrilling. A big space battle.

Lt. Cho: Shields are down. Do I fire?

Masamune: Nah.

Computer: On the Lead Zeppelin

Steve: He's not firing!

Felix: Whew.

Steve: I lowered my shields, he's obligated to fire. What's up with that?

Straw Man: He's Japanese, he's probably going to go kamikaze on you.

Steve: He's not Japanese!

Felix: And that's stereotyping.

Straw Man: Says you.

Steve: I'm putting shields back up. He's not taking the bait.

Computer: The Bladechappe. Again.

Lt. Cho: *sighs* Shields back up.

Masamune: Good! I had a good idea. Since we're the bigger ship, we'll send out skiffs. Make it dramatic. It'll be like how we fought the Neko ship. Only Steve gets to have the dramatic scene of taking down the smaller ships. He'll love it.

Lt. Cho: That's a bit much. And it's dangerous to our men.

Masamune: Bah, only one of them has a name I think. We probably have an endless supply of them anyways.

Lt. Cho: ....

Depkon: I'm inclined to agree with Lt. Cho. A head-on attack would be more efficient.

Masamune: You guys are boring. LAUNCH THE SKIFFS!

Lt. Cho: Oh very well. I'll give the order.

Masamune: Good. *sits back in chair and props feet up*

Author: SteveT

The Steve Model T grinned. Or rather he didn't, because his face doesn't move that way. Professor Smarter Than You could tell he was grinning on the inside, though. The big, hollow, heartless, definitely robotic inside.

"A diversion," said SteveT, tapping his fingers together. "Excellent."

"Mr. Felix, IGNORE THOSE SKIFFS!" shouted the Professor, but Felix was grinning too. For real.

"Mr. Felix..." said SteveT slowly.

"Yes?"

"Ignore that Straw Man."

Professor Smarter Than You shut his eyes so tight they almost opened again from the top. What he missed was a spectacular battle. Felix guided the Lead Zeppelin's lasers into all the skiffs, while Steve Model T and Masamune traded maniacal laughter over the view screen.

Lasers flew in all directions, but the Lead Zeppelin and the Bladechap remained unscathed. The Bladechap was aiming to dramatically miss, and Felix aimed only at the insignificant, harmless skiffs.

Professor Smarter Than You pictured himself on a tropical beach in a planet far away, but even there he could see the explosions flashing in the black sky.

He hated when reality ruined his fantasies, and gave up just in time to see the last skiff explode. The Steve Model T was actually...giggling.

"That was...so...perfect," said the robot. Felix wiped a tear from his feline eye.

Over the view screen, Masamune clapped. Then he paused, and stood up. "And now, my old nemesis after all these centuries, it is time to end our relationship."

Steve Model T clenched his fist. "A duel, then?"

"No point in endangering those uninvovled."

"Unless they've been to a party lately."

"One of your minions? Never."

"I'm not his minion!" shouted Ashley.

The Professor interjected, "I thought Japanese women were supposed to stay out of conversation."

"That was centuries ago," explained Ashley. "And—hey! I'm not even Japanese."

"Are too."

There was an awkward silence.

Steve Model T asked, "What weapons?"

Masamune thought for a moment, then adjusted his hat, then thought about the choice of weapons. "Swords?"

"I think we've done that one."

"Laser swords?"

"Luigi's not here."

"Pirate ships!"

"There only seems to be one around," said Steve.

"Well...then what about escape pods?"

"Close enough."

This time the Professor watched. The Steve Model T rushed to the escape pod and ejected it. Masamune and Steve positioned themselves in between the two ships, where they could easily be watched by all.

"Now's our chance, Mr. Felix," said the Professor. "Shoot him down." But the useless dog-thing just shook his head.

On the screen, the two shuttles faced each other, then turned back-to-back. They each fired their engines for ten short bursts, and spun around, lasers firing. They both missed.

Then Steve's pod charged Masamune's, but Masa just barely dodging it. Then Masamune attack, and Steve dodged. They continued in this fashion for quite some time until SteveT broke the rules of the duel and steered his ship toward the Bladechap.

Steve guided his escape pod along the surface of the Bladechap, searching for any weak point he could exploit, an oversized exhaust vent perhaps. Masamune stayed just behind him, firing away.

The Professor knew he had to help, even if this robot did claim to be the captain. He tackled Felix and rolled him away from the tactical station. As Masamune chased Steve Model T across the hull of his ship, the Felix raced the Professor back to the weapon commands.

Professor Smarter Than You won the race, and pounded the fire button. A single laser escaped before Felix tackled him away.

The laser flew through space in dramatic slow motion, until it struck Masamune's port thruster. The thruster destabilized, and Masamune spun off into space.

SteveT fired his proton torpedo, but it didn't really do anything. Felix opened a channel to the Steve Model T.

"Great shot, eh? That was one in a million!" shouted the Professor.

Steve Model T ignored him, and instead saluted the damaged escape pod drifting into space. "He was a mighty foe...the last of the Festivity Attenders. It's all so...anticlimactic."

The Professor corrected him. "You mean I'm the best sharp-shooter in the galaxy."

The Steve Model T hung his head and returned to the ship.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Master Ditto: ~watches Masamune spiral into deep space~ About time...

Lt. Cho: What?

Depkon: Fire on the other escape pod.

Lt. Cho: No. It's part of the rules. We have to let him go back.

Ashley: What are you waiting for, then? Go after Masamune.

Lt. Cho: Hold on there. With the captain incapacitated, I become the commanding officer.

Ashley: I'm his wife.

Lt. Cho: It's bad luck to bring a woman on a ship anyway.

Ashley: Fine. What do we do?

Lt. Cho: Go after him. All to port!

Zebesian: We can't, lieutenant!

Lt. Cho: What?

Zebesian: We're caught in a bloody tractor beam!

Lt. Cho: From where?!

Zebesian: The... uh... the Lead Zeppelin.

Lt. Cho: Are you kidding? It's SMALLER than we are. It can't hold us.

Zebesian: Well, the instruments say that it is.

Lt. Cho: Push the engines to full!

Depkon: And burn them out?

Lt. Cho: No, this is the usual trick to escape tractor beams. You just go back and forth really quick.

Depkon: That only works in small ships.

Lt. Cho: Well, um... turn! Get the prow pointed at the Lead Zeppelin!

Zebesian: It wouldn't matter. We aren't being pulled toward it. Just held in place, sir.

Lt. Cho: But... how does that happen?

Depkon: If both ships are emitting a tractor beam. The beams repel each other but attract the ships at the same time.

Computer: All turn to Master Ditto, who whistles and pulls his hand away from the tractor beam activator.

Lt. Cho: ~unsheathes his claws~ You traitorous...

Zebesian: Lieutenant! The Lead Zeppelin is extending a boarding tunnel!

Lt. Cho: Withdraw our docking bays! Depressurize them, just in case!

Ashley: It won't matter. Steve doesn't need to breathe.

Depkon: What does he want?

Ashley: It's obvious.

Computer: A steel hand punches through the blast doors of the bridge.

SteveT: Heeeeeeeeere's Johnny! Loved that show...

Computer: SteveT pries the doors open.

Ashley: He's gotten stronger.

SteveT: ~dusts self off~ Masamune didn't exactly use the most expensive equipment for this ship. Now then, minion.

Lt. Cho: Protect the captain's wife!

Computer: Zebesians leap and fire at SteveT from all sides. He continues walking toward Ashley, ignoring them. Depkon steps into his way, but suddenly falls clutching his head.

Master Ditto: No no. I've just given the galaxy's largest brain the galaxy's largest headache. These Force programs really work.

Lt. Cho: You bastard...

Master Ditto: Oh come off of it. You didn't see it coming?

Ashley: Guess I don't have any choice, really...

SteveT: Not really. ~slings Ashley over his shoulder and walks for the door~ I've done what I came to. I'll leave you gentlemen alone. I would suggest no further harrassment until my ship is well out of system. ~walks out~

Computer: A few minutes later, the Lead Zeppelin jumps into hyperspace.

Zebesian: Lieutenant. Should we follow them?

Lt. Cho: Negative. We'll go after Masamune first.

Master Ditto: You won't. I'm commandeering this ship.

Lt. Cho: Throw him in the airlock.

Computer: Several Zebesians approach Master Ditto.

Master Ditto: ~grins~ If you wish to try.

Author: Masamune

Lt. Cho: You can't mutiny against an entire crew, Master Ditto.

Master Ditto: On the contrary, I've picked up quite a few allies who are not appreciative of Masamune's methods.

Khaashar: *opens his claws and powers the weapons inside* Aye.

~the other zebesians follow suit~

Depkon: Scoundrel, I've dealt with worse.

Master Ditto: Please, with these powers... you Basks are nothing. And the same applies to you Chozo. Khaashar, put them in the brig. No no... beam them on that planetoid there. They can do no harm.

Khaashar: That's planet Syntax... an extremely hostile, volcanic planet.

Master Ditto: So?

Depkon: *remains still, glaring*

Master Ditto: *eye twitches and his left arm reshapes into a laser cannon* GO!!

~the zebesians escort the two out~

Master Ditto: Good, good. I think I am beginning to see my path.

~the viewscreen opens up~

Darth: *appears on the screen* Only one thing remains. You have the Bladechappe. More importantly you have the Temporal Drive.

Master Ditto: *grins* But of course. Khaashar?

Khaashar: Temporal Drive engaged. Destination?

Master Ditto: Let's make it ten years ago.

~the ship suddenly vanished through a time portal, from afar Masamune watches in anger and pounds on his ships controls as he continues to plummet through the emptiness of space~

Computer: Year 2335, Post-Earth Federation (PEF) Space Colony - Pluto X.

~the Bladechappe docks inside the hangar~

Master Ditto: Time to set some plans in motion. *pulls a black robe around him and pulls the cowl over his face* Empty the ship, Khaashar.

Khaashar: Sir...?

Master Ditto: I wish to destroy it.

Khaashar: But-

Master Ditto: *holds out hand and begins choking him* I fear you have outlived your usefulness.

Khaashar: Grk- *slumps to the ground*

Master Ditto: Anyone else?

Zebesian: No! Emptying ship as ordered.

Computer: Main Mess Hall.

Masamune: Damn. *throws data pad away* These ships are all worthless.

Cho: Nothing has been up to par since the Swordefeller IX was destroyed. They just don't make them like they used to.

????: ~steps in, he is a dark cowled figue~ Perhaps I can help.

Masamune: Eh? *looks up* Who are you?

????: Just call me... the Darth.

Masamune: Okay 'Darth', help how?

Darth: *hands over data pad* I think you might be interested in this.

~the scene shifts to a volcanic planet~

Computer: Planet Syntax, Year 2345.

Depkon: Incompetent idiot.

Lt. Cho: That's my captain.

Depkon: So? Had he just destroyed Steve, I'd likely have my ship back by now. Not stuck on this miserable planet with you.

Lt. Cho: Forgive me for my presence. But there's a breathable atmosphere, we're bound to find something on the planet.

Depkon: Of course, most volcanic planets tend to be sprawling with life.

~suddenly a figure steps into view. She holds up a primitive weapon at them~

Rhykette: Who are you!?

Depkon: A robot, of all the rotten luck...

Lt. Cho: I am Lt. Cho and this is Dep-

Depkon: Depkon. And this is... I believe, Rhykette? We met previously.

Rhykette: You're that Bask who we... oh *holds up weapon again* Stay back!

Depkon: She was among those who stole my ship.

Lt. Cho: Small galaxy.

Depkon: Your weapon isn't going to do a lot, so you might as well put it down.

Rhykette: Fat chance.

Depkon: *steps forward* I can be a forgiving Bask. Besides, destroying androids is not my thing. Perhaps we can make an arrangement.

Rhykette: ... what kind of arrangement?

Author: Mario Jr.

Andi: Living in a church wasn't exactly what I had in mind as a romantic getaway with a prison guard.

Rhade: Oh we're not going to a church. We're going to Syntax to save my creator. I know General Deschel has plans to kill her once he's done with Nirgal just prove his point. I can't let that happen.

Andi: But you heard the Neko Scientist. She's not the Tifara.

Rhade: true. But I know she is our mother. I know it's impossible but I know she's our mother. It's hard to explain but I just have this feeling deep inside me that says the very survival of our race rests on her.

Andi: I'm not sure I follow you.

Rhade: Okay, say someone were to say Jorge was not your creator and they provided all this evidence that says he's not.

Andi: I'd be elated. And if they had actual evidence I'll be all more the happier.

Rhade: Okay. Bad example. What about this. You were created as a sexbot, am I right?

Andi: Yes, unfortunately.

Rhade: Right. And the very way you were designed proves this, am I correct.

Andi: Let's not go there.

Rhade: Sorry. Anyways, I guess where I'm going with this is this: You have the evidence infront of you all the time. But deep down inside you KNOW that's not what you are. You know you're more than that and nothing can make you believe otherwise.

Andi: *squeezes Rhade's leg* I feel like that all the time.

Rhade: Great. Let's go save my mother then. But first, a little detour.

(Rhade hangs a sharp left and lands the ship inside a nearby battleship that uncloaked itself as he approached. It was was of an odd design. Not exactly Colonial nor Neko in origin, full of sexy curved arches and a sleek shape.)

Andi: That yours?

Rhade: Yeah. I found it drifting in space some years ago. The former crew apparantly abandoned it there but it was still in working condition and even had a built in AI system. Unfortunately her memory banks were wiped out so I couldn't find out anything about the ship's history. All I know the ship refers to herself as the Andromeda Ascendant.

Andi: The Andromeda?
______________________

~On the surface of planet Syntax~

(Tiffa holds on tightly to Datana as they exited their ship. Datana didn't mind the closeness but she was a little frightened herself of the hellish landscape that surrounded them. Not exactly the safest haven around. Day sure could pick 'em.)

Day: We're going to need to find some sort of shelter for now.

Tiffa: Do you think there are any indenginous people here?

Day: I dunno. But I wouldn't want to meet anyone who can survive this place. Look! There's a cave over there.
______________________

Computer: Meanwhile, Jorge was still drifting in space when he neared SteveT's ship.

Jorge: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

Felix: There's some sort of Neko cargo ship approaching us.

SteveT: Destroy it. I have no time for Neko's.

Ashley: You will do no such thing. It's a cargo ship. It's no threat to you.

SteveT: Oh fine! Reel it in.

(Several minutes later, SteveT's crew retrieve a lone human of hispanic descent.)

Jorge: Where am I? What do you people want from me?

SteveT: I'll ask the questions here. Are you alone?

Jorge: Yes.

(Felix knodded to confirm this.)

SteveT: Good. Stick him in the brig.

Jorge: The... brig...?

Strawman: Uh. We don't have one of those.

SteveT: We don't? We throw him in the airlock then. I have no use for a human male.

Jorge: *hyperventilates*

Strawman: Wait. He's obviously Mexican. He can clean the ship. Your lady friend sure isn't much a help with that.

Ashley: .....

Jorge: Like hell I will!

SteveT: It's either that or death.

Jorge: Where's the mop?

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

The Steve Model T leaned back in the pilot's chair, putting its "feet" up on the console and acting as if it owned the ship, which it obviously didn't. Professor Smarter Than You watched from the door, shaking his head. Robots, these days...

"Excuse me," came a horrible, whining voice. Professor Smarter Than You turned, raised his nose appropriately at that girl who the Model T had apparently been programmed to obsess about (he'd have to find some way to erase that), and stepped aside to allow her in. She turned and looked at him. "Could you leave? I wish to speak to the Captain."

"You are."

"I mean the robot pilot."

"Oh, very well then."

Professor Smarter Than You wasn't really relenting to the commands of an inferior, of course. He just felt it more simple to watch them from the peep hole he had put in the wall of HIS ship. And he was entitled to monitor the actions of his crew, whether they liked it or not. Nevermind all those wires he had drilled through to make the peep hole. They were obviously unimportant.

He stepped outside and positioned himself. There was a horribly hot draft on the back of his neck. He had told that animal to fix the heating system, but nooo... Then he noticed a drip of water. Space was, all great researchers knew, really just a gigantic body of water. So his ship had a leak now too. Perfect.

A pair of hairy arms grabbed Professor Smarter Than You's and started dragging him away, despite his protests. The stupid beast was dragging him away, to who knows where. The nerve!

"I should apologize," the animal crowed, "but I really don't like you. And Steve said that you need to stop spying on his private conversations. So I'll just lock you in with that brain and the janitor, yeah?"

"You one-brain-celled spit washer! How dare you drag your own captain around! Mutiny!"

"Blah blah blah..."

***

~Ashley sits in the co-pilot's chair next to SteveT and puts her legs up as well.~

SteveT: Watch the buttons.

Ashley: I know.

SteveT: I'm a bit curious. You've spent the last three hundred years trying to NOT be my minion.

Ashley: I spent the last three hundred years in a time warp.

SteveT: Yes, but, why have you just given up now?

Ashley: How many people from Earth survived, do you think?

SteveT: Including the ones on the Mars Colonies, I'd say almost sixty million.

Ashley: But not many I know. Did Mom and Dad get off?

SteveT: Haven't seen them.

Ashley: What I mean is, even out of those sixty million, I feel alone. I'm three hundred years behind now, and I really don't like what's happened to the world... er, galaxy in those three hundred years. I'm starting to appreciate the company of those few who never changed.

SteveT: Like me and Masamune.

Ashley: Yeah. But I could never really trust Masa, either. I suppose that's why I married him in my own twisted mind, but it became a problem when I kept asking him what happened to our son and he kept claiming that the hyperdrive had suddenly started leaking. You don't know, do you?

SteveT: No.

Ashley: I guess it's comforting to know that you didn't change, and that I can trust you to be a murdering, revenge-driven, heartless suit of armor.

SteveT: And you're hoping that I have a better chance of running into Masamune's pod than Masamune's crew.

Ashley: A little.

***

Delta: Ah, we're back. We, ah, we sent Rhykette into the badlands.

GM/Triple-X/Luigi: WHAT?!

GM: Badlands... that doesn't sound good.

Luigi: What does Desperation do to androids on his land?

Delta: He enslaves them to circuit-numbing hours of serving him drinks only to have them spit back out. Androids don't feel pain, but somehow he's found ways to torture them.

Luigi: Then you're going to show us the fastest way there.

Delta: Of course. Just use this chute we dropped her in. ~presses a button and opens a hole in the floor~ Hopefully she hasn't gone too far.

Luigi: All right. Murasame, you go f--

Murasame: If it's all the same to you, I'd rather just go and prepare my ship. I don't look forward to a bloodbath. I'll pick you up at Desperation's citadel in four hours time.

Triple-X: Why Desperation's citadel?

Murasame: You don't honestly think you WON'T be going there, do you? ~walks away shaking his head~

Delta: I'll go first, then.

Triple-X: You're not going at all.

Delta: Listen, I'm sorry for my actions. I only wanted to help my people. Can you blame me for Beta's crime?

Triple-X: Yes.

Delta: Hmph. Do you think you can stop me from going then if LOOK GUARDS!

~The three turn to look, then turn back to see Delta jumping down the chute.~

GM: Anyone up for finding another way into the Badlands?

Luigi: No time. ~jumps down the chute~

~GM and Triple-X shrug and follow.~

Author: Golem

~A ways away from where Luigi and company end up, two obnoxious heavyset anthromorphic hogs walk to Rhykette, who stands still.~

Hog 1: Surrendering was a real smart move, m'lady.

~The two hogs each grab one of Rhykette's arms and walk her back the way they had come. After a minute or so, they become confused as they notice they aren't going forward but upward. Rhykette is ripped out of their grasp by an invisible force, then they are both flung into the sand by that same invisible force, creating a huge wave of sand as they hit it.

Luigi points out the sand wave to the others and they run towards it. Delta watches them from a hiding place.

With Depkon and company, where the two hogs are planted firmly in the sand...~

Depkon: I was able to read what path they were on, and I can take us to where Rhykette wants to go. Oddly, they were concentrating on two space-worthy vehicles in some town of humans with strange, featureless faces.

~The GGers run into view.~

Luigi: What?! I knew Delta was still hiding something from us!

GM: ~talking in a low volume to Luigi~ Luigi, that's the Bask we stole the ship from.

Luigi: He... ~squints eyes~ Oh.

OOC: Man I love OOCs.

~The planet Solara. Our focus is one of the houses in which some Nekos currently sleep, because no light is cast there on this portion of Solara's 35-hour day. One male Neko enters, holding a portable electric lamp by the handle on its top.

The Neko makes its way through a barely visible hallway and reaches a doorway at its end. The Neko raps upon the wall, waking up the two Nekos, one a somewhat elderly male and the other a somewhat elderly female, in bed inside the room. The Nekos slowly become aware of what is happening, and walk in their night clothes to the doorway. Everyone's face is visible in the lamp's light.~

Female in night clothes: ...What is it, courier?

Courier Neko: Madam Walner, you are to report to the courthouse tomorrow at dawn.

Madam Walner: What? Why?

Courier Neko: It's about Tifara.

~Madam Walner's and the male Neko's faces bear expressions of hesitant joy.~

Madam Walner: Did they find her?

Courier Neko: I'm not allowed to say, Madam. You didn't hear this from me, but... it looks like you're in trouble for giving a false description of Tifara. I don't have a clue as to how they'd know whether it was false or not.

~The two night-clothed Nekos' faces drop.~

Madam Walner: ...I see. Be gone.

~The courier leaves, yawning. The two other Nekos return to bed.~

Madam Walner: Gah, I knew we shouldn't have done that.

Male: We had to. It was our only hope of finding our daughter.

Madam Walner: Still, the other nobles will have our heads for this...

OOC: Okay, the Walner plotline isn't the most exciting thing in the world, but it's there just in case.

Author: Mario Jr.

~The Andromeda Acendant. In orbit of Planet Syntax~

Rhade: Well. This is my pad.

Andi: You live in an ancient battleship?

Rhade: What can I say? I like a house that gets around.

Andi: I had half-expected some frilly drapes and pillows here and there.

Rhade: Naw. That girly stuff doesn't appeal to me. Hey don't lean so much on the consel. You might upset her!

Andi: Her!? Psh! I've heard of guys obsess over their space ships before but honestly--

Female Computer: Get your slutty hands off of me, you cheap hussey!

Andi: What the--

(Andi turns to see herself on the the screen. Only it wasn't her. The woman on the screen seemed infuriated which was unsettling for Andi to see such an anvcient AI program capable of simulating such intense emotions.)

Female Computer: Rhade! Who is this woman and why does she have my face.

Andi; I would ask you the same thing but I know from experience such trivial simmilarities are merely--

Female Computer: Silence! I wasn't speaking to you.

Rhade: *sweatdrop* Heh, I see you've met my new friend. Andi, meet the Andromeda Acendant. Andromeda, meet Andi.

Andi: You... you are Andromeda?
___________________________

~Syntax~

(Even within the sanctity of the cave, it still provided very little shelter against the sweltering heat outside.)

Day: Heh. At least we're out of the sun.

(Tiffa looks out of the cave at horizon at the rising meanancing large sun in the distance that turned the hellish landscape into series of atom explosion wherever it's light hit the ground. Tiffa turns away. This was a dead planet. There was no doubt about it.)

Tiffa: Alot better than staying in that cargo ship...

(The two of them watch with a stoic gaze as their only means back off the planet melted away in the sun's light right before their eyes.)

Tiffa: I gather we might only be 69.8 million kilometers from this solar system's sun.

Datana: Shut up.

Author: Masamune

Computer: Error, new scene. Cannot determine location.

Masamune: *wakes up* Wow, that was instant. Do I get a description of my surroundings?

Computer: Up until now I've only introduced a location, time, etc...

Masamune: Fine. I'll use tildes. ~looks around to see he's in a rather bland cell~ Well that helps.

~a speaker suddenly speaks up~

Speaker: Ahem. Yes, GREETINGS MASAMUNE! AT LAST I HAVE CAPTURED YOU!

Masamune: Hey, computer. You can tell me if that was male or female, right?

Computer: Oh fine, it's a female.

Masamune: *puts on grin* Hey babe.

Speaker: Shut up.

Masamune: Well then, I'll just be escaping then.

Speaker: You can try. I've been hunting you for a long time now and know all about you. No way you're getting out.

Masamune: Wait.

Computer: Year 2-

Masamune: Stop! No flashbacks. Please.

Computer: You're not even supposed to be talking to me anyways. *ahem* Year 2323....

~the scene is Masamune inside the S.S. Swordefeller IX. For some reason he is in 60s clothes, because of this being a flashback. Cho has an afro too for some reason~

Masamune: Wow, that party was great.

Sgt. Cho: Aye, it was.

Masamune: Hey, check it out. A merchant ship. Let's board it.

Sgt. Cho: A'ight.

~they do so, there's not even a space battle, so there's no use explaining it. The scene ends up with Masamune having the crew captured. Which conveniently consists of a human captain and his daughter~

Captain: Please, just take what you want. Don't harm us.

Masamune: Okay.

Captain's Daugher: I'm scared.

Captain: It's okay.

Masamune: Man, you're hauling Earth Rock? This is worthless!

Captain: On the contrary, people pay big money for a chunk of the 'old home'.

Masamune: *glares* As if you know anything about Earth. This disgusts me. Cho, put them on a escape pod off the ship. I'm blowing this heap up.

Captain: You can't!

Masamune: We'll see.

---

Computer: Year 2345, back on the ship.

Masamune: Man, I can't believe I ever dressed like that.

Speaker: Do you know who I am?

Masamune: Well, considering the flashback, I would guess you were that little girl all grown up.

Speaker: Yet you have not aged....

~the door suddenly opens. A human woman, now in her twenties, walks out. She's dressed in one of those tight sci-fi suits that probably serve no purpose. her hair is also red. More interestingly was the sword sheathed by her side and the bandana over her hair~

Masamune: I admire your sense of fashion.

Woman: Shut up. I doubt you even know my name.

Masamune: Captains' daughter?

Woman: It's Red Ivy.

Masamune: *sarcastically* I bet a lot of thought went into that name.

Red: I'd like to kill you. You destroyed my father's business and he ended up dying for some reason or another. But I found out that for some reason no one can. So I'm going to turn you into the Neko-Nekos.

Masamune: Couldn't we settle this more peacefully? I just got away from them. They're not pleasant people.

Red: Good.

---

Computer: Planet Syntax.

~the remaining three GGers are crouched down spying on Depkon and co.~

GM: Oh man. Let's go back, the Syntaxians weren't so bad.

Triple-X: We can probably take him.

Luigi: Don't count on it.

GM: Right, so lets leave before our merry little crew gets smaller.

Depkon: I can read minds you know. *walks over to them and looks down at them*

GM: Hey, Depkon! Nice to see you.

Depkon: Where's my ship.

GM: Um.

~Meanwhile~

Gravve: This is our once-a-page cameo. I can't believe we've been fighting these guys for so long.

PREDIC: I could have told you that.

Gravve: Are they still there?

PREDIC: *raises a camera up. The goombas are curiously picking up chairs and looking under them* Yes.

Gravve: Ride out with me.

PREDIC: Why?

Gravve: I dunno.

~Anyways~

Depkon: You left my ship with those two intellectually challenged dimwits!?

Triple-X: I helped!

Luigi: They're not that dim.

Depkon: *eye twitches* Find my ship.

Rhykette: And then?

Depkon: Then I kill you.

Triple-X: Actually, it was all his idea. I told him not to do it.

Luigi: Shut up.

Lt. Cho: If we're going to get your ship back, we should head towards those two ships.

Depkon: Fine.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Computer: Desperation sits on a giant recliner, holding a leash. At the other end of the leash is a robot with all of its coverings torn off, so more like a bunch of wires and circuit boards inside of a shoddy frame.

Desperation: This show is boring. Change the channel, my naked robot wench.

Robot: Giggle. Giggle. Yes. Master. Hot. Stuff.

Computer: The robot awkwardly walks forward, steps on one of its own loose wires, trips, and completely rips itself apart.

Desperation: Argh! That's the third one this week.

Grunt: You know sir, if you would perhaps not take their coverings off, they would be more sexually attractive and have greater longevity.

Desperation: Shut up.

GruntTwo: Lord Master Grande High Emperor General of the Goodlands Desperation sir! Two of your scouts have been beaten up by a girl!

Desperation: A GIRL?!

GruntTwo: A girl robot, sir. With psychic powers.

Grunt: Wait. How can she be psychic if she's a robot? They don't have minds.

GruntTwo: SHE IS!

Desperation: This is uncalled for! Someone get my engineer! We've got my new naked robot wench waiting!

Computer: Desperation stands up, stomps deliberately on the old robot, grabs a trident off of the wall, and turns for the door.

Desperation: Which way is she?

GruntTwo: The third scout (me) who was lagging behind for an ice cream run said that he saw the girl robot and five other pathetic creatures heading for the town of Trojan, where there are also the only two working space-worthy crafts on the planet that are not in your hangar most high fatness. Oh, and Delta Error was stalking them.

Desperation: Delta ERROR! My saliva curdles! My brains explode! My blood pressure intensifies! ~passes out from a heart attack, then comes to~ I HATE that guy! Trying to take MY planet away from me! Summon every grunt. We're going to Trojan!

Computer: Desperation runs out the door, followed by Grunt. GruntTwo waits back.

GruntTwo: Um. I should also mention that three of those pathetic creatures managed to take out a whole squad of Desper-rationalizers. But you're already gone, so I won't worry about it.

~Slavemine-while~

Computer: Depkon leads the way through the Badlands toward Trojan.

Lt. Cho: You sure you got the right directions?

Depkon: Of course.

GM: I have a question.

Depkon: No.

GM: Why are we going to get your ship back if you're just going to kill us either way?

Depkon: Because I'm psychically forcing you all to do it. And now you get to tapdance the entire way to the town.

GM: Like hell I... ~is tapdancing~ Dammit!

Triple-X: It's rather hot. Can we stop for water?

Depkon: No.

Rhykette: I think my hydrocomputic metaphoralizer is leaking. We really do need to stop for water.

Depkon: Or what?

Rhykette: Well, I am a robot. It's not like you can stop me. But then, I'm not moving my legs and I'm walking anyway so... I guess there really isn't a limit to your mental abilities.

Depkon: Correct. So don't try anything. And don't think I don't know about your friend back there.

Delta: ~stays hidden behind a dune~

Luigi: What friend?

Depkon: You would say that, wouldn't you?

Triple-X: Y'know. This kinda sucks. Is all you ever really do to be held hostage?

GM/Rhykette/Luigi: Yes.

Rhykette: N...

Luigi: Delta...

Delta: (Only in a sense!)

GM: Depkon...

Depkon: I can tell you who'll be next, if you like.

Triple-X: Can't wait...

Computer: Several grueling hours later, they arrive in Trojan.

Depkon: All right. The ships should be right...

Lt. Cho: Where those columns of smoke are, by chance?

Depkon: Crap.

Computer: They run toward the smoke, easily noticing all of the ninja-garbed hogs climbing on the walls, jumping across the rooftops, following them from the shadows, etc., but not really caring. They arrive just in time to see Desperation pull his trident out of the second ship.

Desperation: Ha cha chaa! The girl's even cuter than I thought! Maybe I will take your advice about the coverings, heh heh heh.

Rhykette: I don't want to know.

Depkon: You... why have you done this?!

Desperation: I need to make something clear to you measleys. This is MY planet. And no one, I mean NO ONE on my planet is allowed to have a brain bigger than mine! Just hand over the psychic girl robot and maybe I'll let you all work in the food services at my palace.

GM: Psychic robot? Are you crazy? ~points at Depkon~ He's the psych--

Computer: Depkon smacks GM hard across the face.

Depkon: Idiot.

Desperation: Keeping secrets from me, eh? Maybe I WON'T go so easy on all of you, then! Ninja Hogs! Desper-rationalizers! All you other worthless grunts! GET THEM!

~Murawhile~

Computer: Murasame sits on Desperation's recliner, flipping through TV channels.

Murasame: Four hours. Is that so hard?

Author: Mario Jr.

OoC: This one‘s kinda long. If you want, you can skip to the last scene. For those who do decide to read it entirely, I caution you, it does get kinda staemy towards the middle. Also I'ved made some changes.

~The Andomeda Ascendant, Still in Orbit of Syntax~

Rhade: The Andromeda’s AI will try to pinpoint Tiffa's location. Until then, why not take a rest.

(Andi shoots a Neko a quizzical look. Rhade smiles again and leads her to the sleeping chamber where a queen sized was set in the middle of the room, enticing her to climb on and get lost in the soft satin sheets. Andi turned to Rhade and gave him a icy stare that she usually reserved for Jorge.)

Andi: You had this planned didn't you.

Rhade: Heh, heh. I don't know what you're talking about.

(Rhade pressed a butoon on his remote and light simultaneously dimmed as the soft music began to play on the stereo.)

Andi: You know, I don’t get you sometimes Rhade. I thought you were a…ya know, gay.

Rhade: Gay!? *scoff* Please! The Neko-Neko do not make any such distinction between sexual orientation. We do whatever we want, whenever we want, with as many people as we damn please. Don’t try to push human-made labels on me.

Andi: Gee, and here I thought Nekotians only choose one mate for life. And you did seem pretty chummy with my creator back in the brig.

Rhade: That’s… Er, what I mean is…

Andi: Uh-huh, sure. You’re up to something and I damn sure it’s not sex related.

Rhade: No, no, no. You don’t understand. Me and Jorge…. That was nothing. It was you who I wanted. I was just messing with Jorge’s mind to throw him off. That’s all, baby.

Andi: Save it! I’m a sex bot. Don’t think for a second there I couldn’t pick up on your heat energy levels skyrocketing off the charts in that lower region every time my Jorge was around. Even right now, you’re not even giving my sensors so much as a blip. I suggest you tell me the truth now or I’ll use the same moves on you that I saw Kolon and Loter use on Nirgal.

Rhade: Psh! You’re just a sex bot. No way you could emulate those moves.

Andi: I may be sex bot but I’m programmed to learn through via visual observation. It’s so I can learn new sex position from Jorge’s huge collection of porno but I can learn other skills just as well.

Rhade: Oh please like you could ever--

(Rhade’s eyes bulge out as Andi knee-kicks Rhade in the groin with effortless though sufficient ease.)

Andi: Now, tell me the truth! Why did you bring me on this ship? A ship that has the same name as me!

~On the planet‘s surface~

Day: It looks like the sun is finally beginning to set.

Tiffa: Thank the Gods! But how are we supposed to get home without our ship?

Day: I’ll figure something out.

Tiffa: Perhaps we should make the best of current situation.

Day: I’m…. not sure I follow you.

(Tiffa gives Day a coy smile as she lightly brushed her fingertip’s across Day’s arm, enticing her deeper into the cave. Day‘s pale complexion suddenly turned as red as the setting sun itself)

Day: Tiffs… You’re obviously exhausted…. The heat…. You’re not thinking straight.

Tiffa: Oh, I’m thinking clearly now Datana. More so than I ever have before. I want you Day. I always had.

Day: Tiffa. You’re my friend…. As much as I’d like to….As much as I’d like…. WHY IS IT SO DAMN HOT IN HERE!

Tiffa: The sun has already set. And we’re deep inside the cave now. The only heat here is passion that exists between us.

Day: Tiffa…What are you--

Tiffa: Shhhh…*places a finger on Day’s lips* You talk too much.

(Tiffa leans in for the kiss but Day whirls her around and pins her back against the wall. The two just standthere for what seemed like hours, just staring deeply into each’s other’s eyes and breathing heavily. The tension continues to build between them, almost strangling them. Tiffa was right. There were feelings deep inside of her just screaming for an outlet. They were best of friends, yes. But they were more than that. And friends sometimes become more than that. Right? Day was confused. But Tiffa seemed so sure of herself… Just look at her, looking so smug. How DARE she try and make a fool out of her. She‘d show her alright!)

Day: You know… we never did finish that one kiss.

(Day grabs Tiffa’s behind and before Tiffa could so much as whimper, uses it to yank Tiffa close enough for a deep, frenzied kiss that made their teeth clash. Day works to stay mad to stay mad, but the voluptuous curves of Tiffa’s body and Tiffa’s astonished little moans of pleasure disarm her completely. Day works even harder to ignore the insidious little voice inside that told her she was a bastard for taking advantage of her best friend in such a blatantly vulnerable state of confusion. She fights it, but the voice gets louder and more insistent, and in the end he caved and tried to pull away. Fortunately, Tiffa wasn't having that for a second. Her hands shoot out and grab Day behind her elvish ears, dragging her right back to where he'd started. Day's knees are now going from oxygen deprivation as Tiffa’s tongue enthusiastically plunges towards HER tonsils. She can only hang in there and rely on Tiffa to keep them upright as Tiffa clings ever closer to her, keeping them locked in a searing, ecstatic kiss.)

~Back onboard the Andromeda Ascendant~

Andi: Tell me now!

Female Computer: Leave my Rhade alone! Or I’ll beam you off!

Rhade: No Andromeda, it’s alright. She deserves to know.

Female Computer: I won’t hear of this!

Andi: Know what?

Female Computer: You tell her and I’ll beam BOTH of you off.

Rhade: *smiles smugly* I doubt that. Then you’d be alone again. *turns to Andi* Andromeda.

Female Computer: Yes Captian?

Rhade: I was addressing the other Andromeda.

Female Computer: Hmmph! Very welll then…

Rhade: Andromeda. You are not a sex bot.

Andi: What do you mean? That Jorge didn’t create me?

Rhade: Oh he created you alright. He didn’t know he was doing at the time but a chip implanted into his brain carried the blueprints to your design. He wanted to build a sex bot. What he made was you.

Andi: Damn. I was so hoping he wasn’t my creator. So who planted the chip into brain?

Rhade: We don’t know. All we know it was the same person he destroyed the original android extension of the Adromeda Ascendant and erased all of Andromeda’s memory banks. I can’t get this ship running at full capacity and gain access to ship’s weaponry without that android.

Andi: Weaponry? You make it sound like we’re in a war or something?

Rhade: We are at war, Andi.

Andi: ? ? ?

Rhade: Even as I speak, there is a battle going on the planet's surface that might put your friend Tiffa in danger. Regardless if she is the mother of my people's race or not, I can not risk letting her or her unborn children to die.

Andi: You must really believe that Tiffa is the Tifara.

Rhade: I don't believe in the Tifara. I believe in Tiffa.

Andi: … What do you want me to do?

(Rhade nods over at the large cylinder at the back of the control deck.)

Rhade: Ever used one of those?

(Andi’s eyes brighten.)

Andi: Actuallly… I have.

Rhade: Good. Then I can skip the whole instructional speech.

Female Computer: Excuse me but I must protest! I won’t have that filthy harlot be connected to my databases. There’s no telling what can of computer virus’s she’s contracted.

Rhade: Whether you like it or not, Andromeda, the Android is just as much a part of you as you are a part of her.

(The ship’s AI is clearly unhappy but she watches idly as Andi strips down and plunges into the tube of placental fluids. As before many tubes and wires swarm towards her, connecting her instantly to all the ship’s sensors. Suddenly she and the ship were one. And she remembered everything.)

Andromeda: Initiating Flashback - Earth Year 2045.

(The scene is at the launch site of the Andromeda Ascendant which was preparing for it’s maiden voyage. A large crowd has gathered. A middle aged man spiky silver hair and cool sea-green eyes stand at the podium. He bears a slight resemblance to MJ though he was more elfish in appearance.)

Reporter: Captian Urchin, Andromeda Ascendant is such a beautiful name for such a gorgeous ship. Wherever did you come up up with it?

Urchin: I named the ship after my mother, Andromeda Poseidonia, who unfortunately passed away before I could complete the project. Yes, you in the yellow hat.

Reporter 2: What are your plans with the Andromeda Ascendant?

Urchin: What else? To explore beyond the borders of our galaxy. To find solar systems much like ours. And to possibly form alliances.

Reporter 3: I see you’re carrying some heavy weaponry there. I thought this was supposed to be a voyage of peace.

Urchin: It is. But space is a dangerous place. We already have enemies out there that would rather see us dead. I assure you all, the Andromeda Ascendant is not designed to be an aggressive force.

Andromeda: Flashfowarding a year later.

(The scene shifts to the outermost regions of space, the Andromeda is caught in a dogfight with a swarm of Nekotian dart ships. Inside, the ship is in total chaos, with sparks and fire are spewing everywhere. As the ship begins to go down, an army of Neko warriors storm the ship’s hall, slaughtering the crew one by one. Until they reached the captian hunched over the control console of his ship. He turned to his alien foes with an eerie golden glow to his eyes.)

Urchin: *godlike voice* None of you will have Caykforce! No one! You will all die with this ship!

(Urchin slams his fist onto one of the buttons and the whole ship starts veering towards a nearby blackhole, where it instantly got suck in, Neko army and all.)

Andromeda: Resuming normal time.

(The scene finally returns back to the present.)

Andromeda: No one survived. Even Captain Urchin and his godlike immortality could endure power of the blackhole. I, being non-organic, was able to withstand being reduced to size of a single molecule until I was released from the blackhole centuries later by a salvage crew lead by none other than yourself, Rhade.

Rhade: So tit was the Nekotians all along. But what is this Caykforce again?

Andromeda: It is what powers my weapons and keeps my engines running perpetually without refueling. I do not fully understand capabilities of the Caykforce. We were hijacked before I ever had a chance to use my weapons on them.

Rhade: My gods. Only a truly awesome power could cause a whole Nekotian army to act so lustfully. I hope I can stop battle going on the planet’s surface without killing Tiffa.

Andromeda: There is no need for such dramatics, Captian. I have located Tiffa already. She is floating space.

Rhade: Floating in space… impossible! Her ship landed somewhere on the planet’s surface. I’m sure of it. You must be confusing her with the Empress Nefertina. She was thrown out the airlock while onboard General Nirgal’s ship.

Andromeda: No. That is Tiffany Katrov.

Rhade: How can you be certain?

Andromeda: Because she’s pregnant.

Rhade: Pregnant!? It must be her! I dunno how, but it is her. Quick reel her in before she’s frozen solid.

Andromeda: Actually she's burning.

Rhade: Burning?

Andromeda: Yes, and her temperature is rising exponentially at a very rapid pace. At the temperature she’s at I can’t get close enough without risking having you killed.

~Back on Syntax~

(Day finally manages to pry away from “Tiffa.”)

Day: It’s getting too hot. I’m really starting to burn up her.

Tiffa: No!!! I must feel your lips pressed against mine! I’ve waited so long…

(Something seemed very wrong. Tiffa would never be this reciprocal to such intense affection. Especially not to the point that she was demanding it. This wasn’t her.)

Day: You’re not Tiffa…

Tiffa: What are you talking about? Why don’t you come back to me? It was just starting to get good.

Day: No… This is wrong.

Tiffa: You’re just feeling guilty. We’ve been friends for so long… Trust me. You’ll get over it.

(Then Day notices it. Why hadn’t she seen it before?)

Day: Your necklace!

Nefertina: I told you. I got it fixed.

Day: No. Nefertina told me that. The real Tiffa would not taint the symbol of our friendship. Oh God. What have I done?

(Day was beginning to feel sick. The room around her starts to spin.)

Nefertina: I was wondering when you guys were going to catch on. I honestly didn’t think I could pull it off twice. But then again, it did help that Nirgal’s men had Tiffa changed into my outfit when they abducted her.

Day: But how...? I was with you when we arrived on Nirgal's ship.

Nefertina: We were baemed up at the same time Tiffa and the other did.

Day: Back on the ship… Tiffa must’ve been playing the Matriarch Card… And you… You played the part of the Reluctant Goddess.

Nefertina: Haha! You must admit, I played the role magnificently.

Day: You… whore… I really start to bun up... What did you do to me!?

Nefertina: I did nothing to you. Except steal you away from Tiffa. Honestly I don’t know what your griping about. It’s quite chilly in here actually.

Day: Something bad is happening… to Tiffa.

Nefertina: Oh Tiffa this! Tiffa that!? That’s all anyone cares about isn’t it? Wise up already!? Tiffa is dead! She got thrown out the airlock because she just HAD to be me, didn’t she? And guess what? I’m still here. Guess she wasn’t the Tifara after--

(Nefertina voice stops when she glances over to her hand and notices she was slowly beginning to vanish.)

Nefertina: It can’t be! She can’t be the Tifara! She’s just a Neko like any other.

~Onboard the Andromeda Ascendant~

(Rhade watches his hands disssapear right before his eyes.)

Rhade: Heh, it is her.

Andromeda: Captain, are you alright?

~Elewhere in space~

Neko Council: General Legar Makesh Nirgal, for assassinating the Lady Empress Nefertina, commiting high treason against the Empire whilst leading thousands of innocent Nekoon on a reckless journey after this so-called “Tifara.,” and blasphemously declaring yourself a GOD, we, the Neko Council hereby sentence you--

(Before the Council chairman could finish his sentence, the whole council, as well as Nirgal, his men,, and the guards at the door, all vanished from the room. Outside the building, the streets were empty and the city. Soon even the city itself vanished and all of Solara became nothing but endless desert.)

~Back on Syntax~

(Nefertina still struggles to keep herself together but she could feel the very frabic of time ripping her apart. Then she saw that Day’s half of the necklace was glowing with an intense, otherworldly light.)

Nefertina: That must be it. That must be the source.

(Nefertina reaches out and seizes the necklace with her bare hands.)

Day: No! My necklace!

Nefertina: I won’t let that skank, Tiffa, kill off our race!

(Nefertina rips the necklace right off of Day’s neck and becomes engulfed in hellfire when her impure hands touched it’s holy surface. Day feverish seemed to lessen after that but she was still so exhausted that she finally collasped..)

~Andromeda Ascendant~

Rhade: Whoa! I’m still here.

Andromeda: Tiffa’s energy readings have dropped considerably. Shall I fetch her, Captain?

Rhade: Yes! What are you waiting for!?

~Solarean Courthouse~

(The Neko Council all look raound but Nirgal had vanished from sight. His cuffs left behind.)

~Streets of Solarium~

(The city returns to normal as Nekotians walk around dazed and confused. Suddenly their attention turn to a holographic image of Nirgal in the sky.)

Nirgal: People of Solara! You have witnesses firsthand the undeniable proof that Tifara is real and does indeed walk among us. But she was stolen from us by Non-Neko and due to the negleciance of the Emprial army, she was almost killed. And even as we speak, there is one who will lead our Tifara down a wicked path that goes against the will of our ancestors. Our creator is flesh and blood like us, just as the legends foretold. And she is weak minded. If we are to survive as a race, we must rescue her and protect until this threat is abolished. We are many in number. And we have the power of a thousand suns at our side. And we will not rest until every last Non-Neko is finally exterminated from this Galaxy. Follow me, your one true God, and I shall lead you to VICTORY!

(The streets were instantly filled with a unified triumphant roar. But one Neko in particular was not doing any chearing. She hid in the shadows wearing a brown robe that covered her regal face.)

Madame Walner: My gods. Nirgal has gone too far.

Author: GM

=Trojan, Syntax Badlands, Planet Syntax, 2345=

(Following Desperation's orders, the Ninja Hogs, Desper-rationalizers, and simple grunts began to surround them.)

Rhykette: This looks bad.

GM: Not really.

(GM held up Omnipotence, aimed at Desperation's head, and pressed the trigger. Five bullets were fired. Due to the family tradition of never letting the Omnipotence run out of ammo, GM liked to be conservative with his shots. Normally, two of the bullets would have entered his head right below the eye, one right through the eye, and the last two through the eyebrow ridge. Desperation was a big guy, and his bones were thick, so four of the bullets would've just lodged themselves in his skull. The bullet that went through the eye, however, would've continued through the brain, possibly killing Desperation. Unfortunately, the bullets were deflected by the energy shield Desperation was using. It shimmered for a few seconds before turning invisible again. I do hope you enjoyed that unnecisarily long paragraph describing a five second event.)

Desperation: Heh heh heh! Thanks for testing out my new toy! It was an early birthday present!

Triple-X: Where'd he get an energy shield!? His technology doesn't seem advanced enough!

Desperation: Weren't you listening? It's an early birthday present! My birthday's next week, but my friend's going on vacation that week, so he couldn't give me my present during my actual birthday, so...

Depkon: I've had enough of this.

(Depkon whipped around and mentally pushed back the several grunts in front of him.)

Depkon: This way, Chozo!

(He and Lt. Cho charged past them before they could get up again. Lt. Cho stopped briefly to steal the laser rifle of a fallen grunt.)

Desperation: Don't let them get away! Fire!

(But before they could, both Depkon and Lt. Cho suddenlt disappeared from view. In the confusion, the Galaxy Goers ducked into a nearby building.)

Desperation: Well, I doubt they'll survive for long in the badlands anyway... Wait, now where did the others... Damn it! Don't any of you pay attention to anything!?

Ninja Hog: They're in this building, sir! They pushed me over to get in!

Grunt: Sir, permission to pursue?

Desperation: *sarcastically* No. Let them go. They're trapped in a building, so there's obviously nothing we can do. Yes! Go after them, you idiots!

Grunt: Understood. Permission to call you an asshole, sir?

Desperation: Permission granted.

Grunt: You're an asshole, sir.

(Desperation put both hands on his trident and stabbed the Grunt in the stomach hard enough to penetrate his armor, and of course his skin, intestines, liver, spleen, and other internl organs. He then used the trident, still inside the Grunt, to fling the stupid soldiers dying body through the air and all the way to the other side of Trojan, where it landed it landed in what could be considered a dumpster.)

Ninja Hog: Well then, um, let's get moving! Wuuaaaaaah, hiya, and other ninja noises!
__________

(The Galaxy Goers were now on the second floor of the building. The entire floor was one large room. Oddly, the entire room was empty. The four windows didn't even have glass in them. There was also the doorless exit. It lead to the top of an arc connecting the building with its neighbor, making a bridge.)

Rhykette: Where do you suppose all the people went? Do you think this is a ghost town?

Luigi: It doesn't matter what now? What are we up against right now?

Rhykette: I saw seven "Ninja Hogs", twelve "Desper-rationalizers", about nineteen regular grunts not counting the one who was killed, and that Desperation guy.

Luigi: And what weapons do we have? I've got two laser swords and some fire powers.

Rhykette: I have my trash gun, and I have 18 shots left.

GM: Two laser pistols that have 15 shots left each with no recharge, a sword, non-laser, Omnipotence here with 180 bullets left, and a broken laser sword.

Triple-X: I've got my stun gun, a ray gun with 20 shots left and a recharge, and five remote-controlled satchel explosives.

GM: What were you going to use those for?

Triple-X: Do I ask you personal questions?

(Two Ninja Hogs left through two of the windows. Luigi threw one of his laser swords at the closest one. It burnt right through its chest and the handle got stuck in its body. As it fell, Luigi charged toward the second Ninja Hog, who unsheathed its rusty katana. Luigi sliced the katana, thus burning the blade off. Then he sliced the Ninja Hog's arm off. As it fell to its knees in pain, Luigi sliced it in the chest. That slice made him spin and slice the already dying hog's head off. With both hogs dead, he retrieved the sword still stuck in the first Ninja Hog.)

GM: That second one was a bit of an overkill.

Luigi: He had it coming. This was suppose to be a simple mission. Fly here, get a boot from a volcano, fly back, make big money. Now we're stuck fighing these guys.

Triple-X: Missions never go as planned.

(Just then, two more Ninja Hogs jumped in through the other two windows.)

GM: I call one!

(GM aimed his rifle at the furthest one and fired. Three bullets struck it in the center of its chest. While that one fell, its partner quickly moved in on Rykette. She panicked and fired her trash gun at it. Though she didn't concentrate on her aiming, she managed to shoot off half its face and send it spiraling to the floor.)

Rhykette: Oh dear!

Luigi: I see they're not very good at the whole ninja thing.

Triple-X: I doubt a pig-like creature can be good at being quick and stealthy.

Luigi: True.

Triple-X: Wait...

(They heard voices coming from the bottom of the stairs. Then footsteps ascending the stairs.)

GM: Sounds like more of them.

Triple-X: Not to worry.

(Triple-X walked up to the Ninja Hog Rhykette had shot and took out a satchel. He strapped the satchel to it back and dragged it to the staircase.)

GM: Heh. I love doing that. Where'd you learn the idea for this little technique?

Triple-X: Like your earlier question, it's none of your business.

(When he saw a Desper-rationalizer marching up the steps, Triple-X tossed the Ninja Hog at it. He then took out the detonator.)

Triple-X: Okay, let's get out of here!

(They ran out through the opening that lead to the bridge connecting the two buildings. When they were at a safe distance, Triple-X pressed the button on the detonator.)
__________

=Naturally Formed Cave Outside Trojan, Syntax Badlands, Planet Syntax, 2345=

(The sound of a far off explosion knocked Datana out of her trace. She slowly got off the floor.)

Datana: What the hell was that?

(She exited the cave. It was still hot out, but not as much as before. She looked toward the source of the sound. She saw a town. So the planet did have life.)

Datana: ...How the hell did I not see that? Well, I see it now.

(She looked back at Nefertina's burnt corpse. To think not too long ago it was alive and making out with her. Even though she was ashamed of what she did, she figured it was a mistake most anyone could've made. Now was no time to think about it. She had to save Tiffa. The real Tiffa. Maybe that town had a spaceship. She left the cave and ran toward the town. She was just outside the town when she saw a figure near a dune.)

Datana: Oh, thank Juiyru! A person!

(When she got a closer look, however, she saw that the person was a tad... intimidating. It was large, bulky, wore a cape and had a horse-like head. It peeked over the dune, its back to her. Datana didn't know if it was friend or enemy, so she slowly snuck up behind it with her gun out.)
__________

=Route to Desperation's HQ, Syntax Badlands, Planet Syntax, 2345=

(Once upon a time, Masamune stole some optic camo units during a pirating run. They were designed to bend the light around the user, thus making them nearly invisible. He gave them out to all the members of his crew he deamed important. The optic camo units were what Depkon and Lt. Cho used to escape earlier. Now that they were at a safe distance, they turned them off and became visible again.)

Lt. Cho: Where did you get an optic camo unit?

Depkon: I stole it from one of the other pirates. I had my own Bask-made unit, but it's still on my ship.

Lt. Cho: I doubt the Captain will appreciate that.

Depkon: It was one of the traitor's. He won't mind. And even if he did, I doubt there's anything he could do about it.

Lt. Cho: ...So, why did we leave the town?

Depkon: The ships were destroyed. I read the minds of several of the soldiers and learned that this "Desperation" has a few ships at his headquarters, as well as the location of his headquarters.

Lt. Cho: So you plan on stealing one of the ships?

Depkon: ...

Lt. Cho: Right, stupid question.

Depkon: Why are we even still traveling together?

Lt. Cho: I'd like to get off this planet too.

Depkon: Right. And I can always eat you.

Lt. Cho: Not if I eat you first.

Author: SteveT

The mutinous dog-thing mercilessly shoved Professor Smarter Than You into a dingy old-world jail cell. What the big comfortable couch and the force field were doing there were anybody's guess. The Mexican janitor and the inventor were lounging around as if they were in a futuristic brig sanitized by centuries of prisoner treatment laws.

Most people see the world around them, but don't observe it. But Straw Man did. It was just one of many things he shared in common with the greatest, totally nonfictional historical figure, Sherlock Holmes. The full list: being impeccably observant, infalliability, the hat, and the pipe.

Anyway.

As soon as the animal left, the janitor and the inventor started talking. "So what do we have to work with?" the janitor asked.

"A TV, a paperclip, this couch, and five cents."

"Cents?"

"They're like pesos, but not as ancient."

"Oh."

Professor Smarter Than You finished the list, since they'd never do it themselves. "Don't forget the control panel."

The inventor looked confused. "What control panel?"

The Professor pulled off a section of the wall to reveal a small monitor with a bunch of futuristic-looking blinky lights underneath it. It was clearly high tech and vital.

Again, the inventor looked confused. "What control panel?"

The Professor sighed. "Every OG prison has a control panel inside. You can use it to hack all the ship's higher functions. How else would everyone be able to escape and get their characters into another subplot in a single post?"

The janitor shrugged. The inventor grinned.

"Of course, this one's just for show," said the Professor. "It's only linked to the tractor beam."

"Right, right," said the inventor as he pressed a few buttons and disabled the force field.

The Professor rushed to block his path. "Wait! Prisoner's can't just walk out! This ruins the mutiny!"

"They're mutinying against YOU! I thought you'd WANT to escape."

"I'm sorry, but this is MY ship and prisoners stay in the brig."

The janitor raised his hand. "So why did you show us the panel?"

Professor Smarter Than You hated having to explain things to lower life forms. "Because, obviously I have a plan to get my ship back?"

"Like walking out of the brig and hitting Steve over the head with something heavy?"

"Yes. Like emotion."

"What?"

The Professor explained. "With my knowledge of the Steve Model T's only weakness, the inventor's ability to...invent things, and your ability to be here and ask questions, giving us an excuse to explain things, we can reprogram my piloting robot."

"Good idea," said the inventor.

"I think you should explain that," said the janitor.

"Gladly," said the Professor. "All we have to do is insert a hard drive into the Steve Model T with new non-murderous, totally obedient protocol."

"In other words," said the inventor, "We'll be making him a heart."

"Ooooh. Now I get it," said the janitor. "Let's get started."

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