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Author: GORE-ILLA

*Fred drops down from the sky, slamming down on GORE from above.*

Fred: So that's where the JEFFERIES CHUTE leads.

GORE: Urgh... well this doesn't hurt that much...

*Lithium Debater, Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy IIV, a Tom Jones plushie and Yahtzee Dubloons also drop down on top of GORE.*

Yahtzee Dubloons: There! There! The ones we seek!

Lithium Debater: Commence the jiggling!

Saru: I'm not in the mood.

*Saru raises one hand and releases a jet of flame at Fred's posse, but all leap aside except for the Tom Jones plushie (which is incinerated) and the crippled GORE (who is no scorched and crippling.*

SwordMaster: Halt... in the name of... (anime pose) SwordMaster, Defender of Cheesecake(fanfare)!

Kantii: And Kantii, Devourer of Cheesecake!

*SwordMaster and Kantii both tackle Yahtzee Dubloons and Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy IIV to the ground as they engage in possibly entertaining battles. Yahtzee raises his cutlass to SwordMaster's sword, whil Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy morphs his mouth into a cannon, blasting giant cannonballs at Kantii.*

GORE: Urgh... what about my characters?

*Okay. Chizu grapples with Lithium Debater, and Saru chases Fred. Suddenly Fred appears hanging from Saru's back.*

Fred: Lighten up some, eh monkey-man? Give the angst a rest!

*Saru simply growls and makes flames sprout from his back. Fred leaps back, but leaves behind a pan with uncooked lunch on it. Saru simply tosses the food to the side in disgust. Fred replies by making a face and disappears.*

Narrirator: Let's move back to the others. I'm not as goot as the Narrator, but oh well.

*SwordMaster slices Yahtzee's cutlass in half.*

SwordMaster: Where's your hideout?

Yahtzee: All I know is I'm apparantly working for Sir Lupus the Turk!

*Yahtzee leaps into a trash can and sits there for a while until he remembers that the secret escape pod is hidden in the next can, and goes there. Kantii dodges Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy IIV's cannonballs as he spirals down and slams into him.*

Kantii: Where's your hideout?

Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy: It's a tower lair in a mountain of sorts, I'm only an underling!

*Lighthouse Monocle Blasphemy disappears in a smokescreen that emits from his nose. And Chizu has Lithium pinned to the ground.*

Chizu: Where's your hideout?

Lithium: I can't complain, but I find it most clichéd...

*At Lithium's command, a flock of pigeons swoop down and carry him into the horizon as he cackles madly.*

SwordMaster: There goes our lead. All I learned is that they apparantly work for our old friend Lupus.

Kantii: Really? Then he must be hiding out in that mountain tower lair Yahtzee mentioned.

Chizu: From what I heard, the placed must be very clichéd. Still very vague.

*GORE and SwordMaster's bob open as they look to each other in surprise.*

Author: Golem

Kantii: If there's one thing in this world that is not vague, it's angst! ~points to Saru, who is running off in some direction~

GORE: C'mon, if we're quiet enough, Saru won't know we're following him. It's not like we could have tried to follow Lithium.

SwordMaster: We'll probably encounter more Team Rocket Omega trouble. If we had the time, we could steal some uniforms...

Chizu: We can't, he's getting away.

~The four dash after Saru. Chizu a little bit slower than the others due to AaronGuy. Just after Saru turns a corner, yells are heard up ahead for a few instants. When the yells cease, the OGers catch up to the spot where Saru was and find six unconscious TRO grunts, one without his uniform.

GORE: Figures.

SwordMaster: Slip into these new clothes quickly, they might have called for backup.

~After everyone has a uniform on, including GORE, whose pants are too big, the chase continues. This goes on for a half hour until Saru spins around to face GORE, SwordMaster, Chizu, and Kantii, who are barely visible because of their distance from him.~

Saru: We're here!

~Everyone is silent.~

Saru: We've arrived at Lupus' Tower!

SwordMaster: ~whispering~ That didn't take very long...

Chizu: ~whispering~ Maybe The Holy Plot Device ~WhisperReverb~ brought us close to the tower on purpose.~

GORE: Hey Saru! That looks more like a Municipal Fortress to me!

~The building behind Saru has a giant pink neon sign that says, "Municipal Fortress." Saru dashes to a nearby manhole cover, lifts it up, and jumps down. GORE and SwordMaster are ready to give chase when Kantii holds back one shoulder of each.~

Kantii: Look to the left of the Municipal Fortress.

~To the left of the Municipal Fortress is a tall tower that has Lupus' trademark green hairdo.~

GORE: Wow, it's even got his hair.

Kantii: Whose hair?

SwordMaster: Lupus'. Anyway, let's go in.

GORE: Hold up, shouldn't we question Saru about his motives?

SwordMaster: Saru is incredibly shady, but he also hates Team Rocket Omega. He's not our top priority.

GORE: Doesn't Lupus hate Team Rocket Omega?

SwordMaster: ...Shut up, let's just go in already.

Author: Fred

(Meanwhile, Legion's army, with Yami's group in the middle, slowly advances on the Municipal Fortress)

Legion: Yami, I want you to know this army is insured, and their lives can be treated like nothing in this endevour. It's right and it's right to use them like objects.

Yami Yoshi: Well, you know what they say! And I'm glad you do, since I don't. However, do not fret as I'm a master at using other people's bodies as shields!

Legion: From my experience in the military, it's right to do that, so keep doing it, and it's right to enjoy doing it, too.

Ingrid: What? Life is... without value?

Verde: Guys, SHUT UP. Verde is kinda of... mentally fragile.

Ingrid: I am weak?

Ishay: I haven't spoken in many posts! There's the defense cannons, and the armor division, and there's the building at the end of that street's stretch!

SSG: The Shy guys are looking up to the run, if you'll give the word, sir.

Legion: Very well. Foolish formation!

(The shuguys form what looks to be a 3-D Tom Cruise's face using their bodies by standing and piling on each other)

Legion: War Scientists have found this to be the studiest possible formation for shielding. FOWARD, RUN YOUR BUTS OFF!

Verde: What? I'm a general, and I've never heard anything of the-

Ishay: Why is everything exploding?

Ingrid: analysis sucessful. Though it seems incredibly improbable, this formation is the sturdiest possible, beating out all others in my data-banks by at least thirty percent in both mobility and durability!

(The formation breaks through the tanks easily, although many Shy guys fall off in pain or from exhaustion of running)

Legion: Whew, maybe it's further than I thought...

Yami: Or maybe we MISSED IT.

Verde: Yeah, I guess being under a wall of Shy guys isn't too bright. Well, we'll have to scale that windowed wall to get in.

Ingrid: No... I am detecting Saru underground... but I also detect a serious design flaw within this huge fortress!

Ishay: Spit it out, then!

Ingrid: You just apply pressure to this point, and voila!

(The Municipal Fortress breaks out of it's fifteen foot concrete encasement, spins in the air a few times, and lands on it's side)

Yami: You know, I just realized that that's Lupus's tower, and it's right beside this... and they've been facing the opposite way... but I noticed, and all those fights in the middle of residential areas, because they didn't realize-

Legion: Damn, boy, get your head out of the clouds! Stop thinking crazy stuff and get in here. Wars don't fight themselves!

(At the same time as they enter the topsy-turvy Spiked building, GORE and his group arrive at the Tower)

GORE: Well, we'll leave all the junk here while we go in.

BSD: No! Don't leave me! I can grant your every wish! Nooo!

Chizu: The Gods have led us here to fight!

Swordmaster: That's cute. The Gods. Hahaha. Anyways, says "Do not enter, heavily guarded with death, pain, hurt, and pillsbury pizza buns"

Kantii: That just makes me more excited.

(As they enter, they realise the whole first floor is vacant)

Chizu: Or... The Gods led us upstairs safely!

Kantii: Just when you get your hopes up...

(Meanwhile, on floor 23590845908/234253.234)

Lupus: Don't. Fail me. Again.

Fred: But Trans-fats can't grind for time!

Lupus: I'm going to interpret that as weakling for "I can't beat the french in military battles". You need UPGRADES. Or just confidance. Like Air Bud.

Lithium Debater: Third-degree Sidegrades with a pack of apple french fleas.

Lupus: Very berry, so Fred, you get this afro!

Fred: Thunderbird (-23950278.35, 43) is GO!

Lupus: Tinman, you get your heart.

Yahtzee Dubloons: Och Aye.

Lupus: Yeah, you get your Tax refund.

Lithium Debater: I never treasure anything if it was created by pangean simians!

Lupus: That's all of you. Now stop losing, it's awful.

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: Atrocities of THUNDER

Lupus: I can't remember your name, it's too long.

Fred: Before I go... Can I see your true face?

(The Lupus Clone rips his mask off to show the face of Micheal Jordan)

Lupus Clone: NOW you see why I couldn't before? Beat the OGers, by any means necessary. And stop trying to eat your damn suicide pills.

(The floor opens up, and they fall down a shaft into an elevator, and ride it down to the OGers, who are waiting to get on)

GORE: This thing takes forever, I need to unpack my bags!

(The door Opens and Fred swings through, kidney shotting each of them)

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: Titans, GO!

Author: Yami Yoshi

~Yami Yoshi, Legion, Sergeant Shy Guy, Verde, Ingrid, and Ihsay walk through the dark hallway/staircase of the toppled Municipal Fortress. Several Rocket Grunt corpses lie sprawled across the floor/wall.~

Yami Yoshi: Well, this certainly makes our job a lot easier...

Verde: Stay on your guard. You never know if someone or something might leap out of the darkness and attack us…

Ingrid: Yes. My sensors indicate a powerful aura of evil shrouding this tower...

Ihsay: There’s probably something waiting for us at the end. I mean, evil villains are always waiting at the top of the tower, the bottom floor of the basement, the end of the corridor…

SSG: In this case, the end of the corridor…

Yami Yoshi: Well, technically, it’s the top of the tower.

Legion: Shut up! ~loads pistol~ Another noise, and I’ll silence you, myself!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*At the end of the hallway, the OGers find a small office. Giovanni's office. Don Giovanni sits in his large spinning chair so he is facing away from the OGers.*

Giovanni: Hello... OGers. So glad you...

*Giovanni spins around to reveal that he looks very much like a zombie. On his forehead? Why a giant V of all things.*

Giovanni: ...Could make it.

*Suddenly the room shakes and straightens as it lifts into the air.*

Yami: WTF?

Giovanni: Welcome... to my... private flying... submarine...

*The submarine flies over Rocketsville with all the OGers aboard. Except for SSG and the army, who wind up fighting Rockets led by a cloaked turtle creature.*

SSG: Before we battle, tell me your name!

Turtle Creature: If you must know, I'm Magikoopa, and I won't submit so easily!

*Back to the flying sub*

Verde: You've taken my country and my pride, you loser, and you're going down!

*Verde flings several shuriken at Giovanni, who deflects them with his bare hand.*

Legion: This guy looks too strong to be the fatcat I've heard too much about!

Ingrid: Yes, what's your game Giovanni?

Giovanni: That... is not... my name!

*Giovanni's arm stretches out and slaps Ingrid across the room.*

Ihsay: Hey, watch it!

*A manhole cover on the sub opens, and Saru crawls up.*

Yami: That makes no sense at all.

Saru: I knew I'd find you here! You've gripped this dead man for far too long, Dark Cloaked one!

Kantii: What was that? C'mon, bring on the exposition!

Saru: Dark Cloak helped Giovanni run Team Rocket long ago. But he got tired of Giovanni's fumblings in 2003 murdered him. Now he runs Team Rocket himself... through Giovanni's long-dead body.

Yami: You know an unusual lot about this Dark Cloak! Who is he?

Saru: That's a matter that can wait for another OG! Right now we have much bigger problems to deal with.

Giovanni: Why I am I still standing here? I'll just kill you all now!

Author: Golem

~Saru barrel rolls at Giovani while covered in flames. Giovanni leaps up and towards where Saru came from, dodging a Dark Egg. The Dark Egg hits the wall and blasts a hole in it, revealing another hallway.

Yami: ~preparing two Dark Eggs~ Not if we kill you first!

~Yami throws one Dark Egg at Giovanni's torso. Giovanni ducks under it.~

Verde: Hold on, can we take the chance that ~Ingrid tackles Giovanni while he's ducking.~

Verde: defeating Dark Cloak in this form might ~Another Dark Egg comes flying at Giovanni, and before Ingrid can clear out, he grabs her and aims her in an attempt to turn her into a body shield.~

Verde: release Dark Cloak into some form not bound by mortality? ~Verde throws a shuriken through the Dark Egg, exploding it before it hits Ingrid.~

Yami: ~Yami Yoshi prepares more Dark Eggs as Saru stands behind Giovanni and punches him in the back.~ Got any better ideas? We've got to do this!

Verde: I'm just not sure this is the way to go about restoring America to what it truly should be!

~As Giovanni slings his arms behind him and grabs Saru, Rojo's voice comes into the office through the hole earlier created in the wall by Yami Yoshi's dark egg.~

Rojo: True? I wouldn't agree with your ~Despite the fact that Saru's hands are red hot and gripping Giovanni's arms, Giovanni doesn't drop him, but rather throws him at Ingrid, who has just gotten up.~ definition of "true."

~Saru flies into Ingrid, who does her best to catch Saru while standing up. She loses her footing, but her back does not hit the ground. Legion, taking no time to aim, shoots at Giovanni's torso, managing to hit the center and middle of it. Black liquid flows out of the hole the bullet has created in Giovanni.~

Rojo: Half of the people inhabiting this planet now don't even have souls, and less than half of the people in the Americas have souls.

Yami: Shut up, would'ja? ~Yami Yoshi charges towards Giovanni.~

Rojo: What could you expect? ~Yami Yoshi slides into Giovanni's feet, tripping him while sliding under him. Giovanni uses this momentum to throw one arms at Yami Yoshi, punching him in the back, while touching another hand to the ground and performing a hand stand.~

Rojo: You tried to use a device to replace the Creator. ~Yami falls on his stomach as a result from the punch while Saru performs another fiery barrel roll at Giovanni.~

Rojo: But what you're doing now is even worse. ~Giovanni uses his arm to spring his body into the air over Saru.~

Rojo: Team Rocket Omega tried to help, ~Ingrid leaps over Saru and tries to grab Giovanni, but he punches her, throwing her momentum off.~

Rojo: but you have to rush in here and try to disrupt things. ~Instead, Verde throws a punch at Giovanni from behind, and Saru rushes in and grabs Giovanni.~

Rojo: America would be ripped to shreds by now if we hadn't moved in. You can't expect America to catch up with 20 years of global affairs overn--~A gunshot is heard as Rojo slumps over, showing no signs of life. Legion blows the smoke off his gun.~

~In the tower, GORE, SwordMaster, Kantii, and Chizu face four of Michael Jordan's thugs. Three men in cowboy hats and trench coats enter the tower and wait outside of anyone's vision.~

Kantii: I'm not enduring a battle scene now!

~Kantii runs forward with his arms parallel to the ground, managing to hit Lighthouse, but is stopped when Dubloons grabs his left arm. Fred swings his hammer towards Kantii's stomach, but a well-planted punch from GORE's metallic fist breaks the handle. The hammerhead is separated from the handle and the momentum behind the hammerhead throws it into Kantii's stomach. Chizu and SwordMaster get into the elevator, and SwordMaster keeps Lithium out of the elevator with his sword. Chizu repeatedly presses a button on the elevator, the button that keeps its doors open.~

Chizu: This story is already in three parts, I won't let it separate into four parts!

~Kantii picks up the hammerhead and lobs it at Fred, who dodges right into GORE-ILLA's fist. Lighthouse and Dubloons grab GORE's metallic arm while Kantii dashes past SwordMaster's swordplay and onto the elevator.~

SwordMaster: What are you doing?! Get out there and help him!!

~By this time, though, Fred has knocked GORE out with chloroform.~

Kantii: We've got to get out of here. Chizu, to the highest level!

~The men in cowboy hats dash towards GORE. Lighthouse and Dubloons grab GORE by the legs. As the men get close, Lighthouse and Dubloons swing GORE horizontally by his feet at the three men. The man on the right dives into a somersault while grabbing GORE's right arm, the man in the middle takes most of the hit while hugging GORE's head to slow the swing down, and the man on the left dodges Fred's hammer handle.

SwordMaster kicks Lithium in the stomach with his right foot, and Lithium grabs SwordMaster's foot. Kantii bolts out of the elevator and kicks Lithium in the lower part of his left leg. Lithium yanks off SwordMaster's boot and swings it at Kantii, who deflects it using his right arm right into Lighthouse's head. Lighthouse loses his grip on GORE, and the man in the cowboy hat in the middle shoves GORE's body forward into Dubloons. Dubloons is off balance, and the man on the right charges into Dubloons. GORE falls on the ground, and Kantii slings him onto his back. Running back to the elevator, Kantii swings GORE into Lithium from behind before hopping into the elevator.~

Man on the left: Hold up, OGers!! We've got to have a serious talk about what you're going to do now!

Chizu: ...What?

~As SwordMaster fends off Lithium again, the men in cowboy hats fend off Lighthouse, Dubloons, and Fred. SwordMaster stops long enough for Lithium to leap into the elevator, at which point both SwordMaster and Kantii tackle him out of the elevator. Chizu presses that button again and again while looking to the unconscious GORE. SwordMaster and Kantii run to help the men in cowboy hats, but the three villains high-tail it away from combat. They run towards the elevator, and SwordMaster and Kantii give chase. The three villains run faster, though, and Chizu presses the close button on the elevator door. The doors indeed close. Lithium picks up the stray hammerhead and throws it at the elevator door, which dents open. However, the actual elevator is no longer present; all that anyone sees is an empty shaft. The three villains dive into the shaft.~

SwordMaster: C'mon, let's take the stairs. Chizu wouldn't have gone far without us.

Man on the left: Hold on there. I said we had to talk and we do.

SwordMaster: Not now, we've got important things to do!

Man in the middle: We realize that. However, what we have to say is much more important.

~SwordMaster and Kantii run for a door marked "stairs."~

SwordMaster: Thanks for the help!

Man on the right: Should we continue to help them?

Man in the middle: No, we've done too much as it is. We'll wait.

Author: Yami Yoshi

~Verde’s punch knocks Giovanni to his knees giving Saru the opportunity to leap and latch onto Giovanni’s back. Clinging to Giovanni’s back, Saru’s hand glows with an orange fiery aura as he prepares to unleash his flamethrower attack into Giovanni’s face.~

Giovanni: NO!

~Giovanni extends his hand and reaches for Saru, but a shuriken thrown by Verde severs it. A fountain of black liquid spurts from the hole in Giovanni’s wrist.~

Saru: DIE!!

~Saru’s hand flashes and unleashes a wave of roaring flames into Giovanni’s screaming face. Saru jumps off Giovanni’s body as it’s swallowed by the inferno.~

Saru: Whew…

Verde: Is it over?

~The smoke and flames fade away revealing a burnt-black pile of bones and ashes. The pile melts into a puddle of black liquid, and all is silent except for the heavy breathing of the OGers.~

Yami Yoshi: Whew…that was easy! Let’s go home now!

Ingrid: Wait…I’m still sensing a powerful evil presence here…

Dark Cloak’s Voice: Kee hee hee…looks like I’ll need another body to inhabit…

~The black puddle bubbles and evaporates into a black smoke with a pair of glowing red eyes.~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Everyone ducks, but the Dark Smoke disappears from the room.*

Yami: ...Is that it?

Legion: We'd better get out of here before it comes back. I'm sure SSG needs my help.

*In another realm, the Dark Cloak sits alone on his dark throne as he controls the Dark Smoke.*

Dark Cloak: Yes... my Dark Smoke, my eyes and ears through which I walk the real world... find me a new body, one with which shall accomplish my goals...

*Back in Rocketsville*

Legion: ...

*SSG and Magikoopa sing merrily on top of an overturned tank while all the Rockets and Shy Guys celebrate.*

SSG: Hey guys! Join the party!

Yami: What's going on?

Magikoopa: We decided to call a truce! We'll share America together!

Yami: Without the permission of the zombie guy?

Magikoopa: Sure! I knew he wasn't the real Giovanni though, but I never found the guts to confront him or leave the organization. But when this guy told me about your adventures, I knew you'd take him down!

SSG: This Magikoopa guy's alright! Together I'm sure we can make this country more peaceful and free again- like the old days! Now let's party!

*At this, Magikoopa suddenly becomes angry.*

Magikoopa: Party? Party?! PARTY??? Such an action is forgiven. I'll except celebrations, but I've sworn to do anything in my power to stop parties and those who go there. Do you have a problem with that?! (regains compure) Sorry, I'm a little touchy on that subject.

Ihsay: Well that's one subplot down.

Verde: And I'm sure we won't have to worry about that dark guy again for a while, eh?

*In Goren's mansion, a scorched hand emerged from a lava pit. A severely burnt man emerges. He has eight swords strapped to his back, the head of a bat... and a "V" engraved on his forehead.*

Author: Fred

Meanwhile, at the top of the tower of nondescript evil and bacon burglaring Tuesdays... a small room with a passage to the stairwell to the side, a couple shrubs, pale wallpaper, and a three-inch thick door made of Cheapanium, along with an automatic security system that looked suspiciously like a bingo game)

Chizu: Jeez, what's taking those guys?

(SwordMaster and Kantii climb the final stairs, panting and wheezing)

Kantii: Of floors... 50 is not a reasonable number.

Chizu: If you're ready, we could go beat up whoever's in here, y'know.

SwordMaster: Yeah, great. What about GORE?

Chizu: He's just... sleeping.

(Suddenly, the door opens. Dust clears, and a tall, menacing figure walks out, dressed inblue suede pants, a black leather jacket, and a pocketwatch)

Figure: Sorry! My shift is up, I need to get through. Master Lupus is just in that room, there.

SwordMaster: I wish I was on the other team.

(Chizu hits him)

SwordMaster: Whoops! I meant WITH you... hehegh. Ow.

Kantii: Anyways, there he is!

(And there he was, in a buisness suit, looking out the window longingly in his pasta office, with pictures of cameras aligning the walls)

Lupus: Unfortunately, you JUST missed me!

SwordMaster: What? The figure that-

Lupus: Psyche! Oh, man. Anyways, let me get my battle armor on... (notices he's being surrounded) Uh, would you hit a celebrity? (Lupus clone takes off his mask again, to show his horribly disfigured face)

Chizu: Yes. (Chizu gives The Failed Lupus Clone a swift uppercut, into one of his office walls. It gives away, like a cubicle wall, and the whole office walling is turned over, to reveal a large laboratory)

Kantii: Just who are you?

FLC: Bwahaha! Why do you think Lupus had in his possesion so many apes?

SwordMaster: Well, I think GORE is supposed to handle this post, but to hazard a guess... they were his ARMY?

FLC: Yeah, well, some of them were well, genetically tested upon. We were trying to recreate Lupus, in case of his death at the hands of the OGers.

Kantii: Of understanding this I have none.

FLC: America was rich, and stupid. I have here gorrilas 1000-1050. All failed attempts to clone Lupus, and typers of over 100 words per minute. Even the one without hands. Wave to them! Oh, you can't. That's too bad.

SwordMaster: But... how did Lupus survive the OG Fist?

FLC: Bwhahaha! Ahem. glermp... Look, I've got to spit it out, gimme a sec. (cough crack) Ugh, it's all green, as I suspected. I seem to be running down with something, and I can't explain this today, so...

(He attempts to retreat into a armored room, but runs into GORE)

GORE: Spill it, # 1050.5.

FLC: No!

Kantii: Great. Tell me when you start fighting. (Kantii dozes off, standing up)

GORE: Look, I already said spill it, and I am blocking your path. For those of you at home that missed that, refer to my last line and the parenthesized sentance above it.

FLC: I was a clone of a clone... we had perfected the peanut buttering stage, the most important one, but I was a backup copy, that could be used when the one before me failed, which he did. That's they guy there, with no, well, uh, SHOELACES.

GORE: He got it bad.

Chizu: That's... horrible.

SwordMaster: Okay, I'm starting to agree with Kantii. Hurry up.

FLC: To make a long story short, I was let out. I am an incomplete Lupus. However, the last stage of my creation involves a certain amount of Cheesecake. Goren made a deal with me, that he'd give me some of Yami Yoshi's, if I would deal with a couple of extra participants.

Chizu: Introbulus?

FLC: Yes, exactly. And I don't know where he is now, but he's frozen in Einsteinium sandwiches, and there's probably no way to get him back.

GORE: Why do you need to finish the operation?

FLC: I am incomplete. Watch this. CHEESE RAY! (He fires at the chair, but it becomes a zombie) See? And my face! It's...

Chizu: No! Not again.

GORE: Oh...

FLC: But you screwed it up, didn't you. You screwed up the tournament.

GORE: Wait, Fred and Lithium killed Goren!

FLC: They were supposed to. Goren's body was provided by me. I planned it all! Me, Lupus the Kirk!

Chizu: That doesn't even make sense, less than usual.

FLC: Bwhaaha! Talking is great, really. But I'm a little Teapot, Short and Stout...

GORE: What? NO!

FLC: Here is my handle, here is my...

(Suddenly the whole Lupus Clone army begins to sing with him. Numbering at about 50, they all close in on the OGers)

GORE: So many Lupuses in one place! I've waited for this for a long time!

(Twenty Lupuses jump on GORE, brandishing pizza cutters, and attempting to slice his arms. GORE spins, knocking them off and into the very thin plastic insulation sheet walling, where they bounce and return to fight. Chizu throws one out through the walling, and roundhouse kicks two others as another two from behind grab her neck and use it as a piano to play beethoven's ninth. Kantii knocks one is the stomach, then picks one up and throws it at a group of five. SwordMaster cuts clean through a few, but takes some bruises once they get too close for his sword and hit him with anti-violence protesting signs. Five of them grab his arms and legs, and two more start beating him with maracas, but GORE rushes over and bowls them over. Suddenly, the original Failed Lupus Clone comes out in a bee-keeper's outfit, with some major modifications, including anti-anti-tank weaponry padding.)

FLC: Hahaha! I am the great Wart!

SwordMaster: You! As SwordMaster, the Defender of Cheesecake, I am obligated to destroy you in the name of you not having any cheesecake to realize your dream so nyah. Regardless, PREPARE FOR PAIN!

(GORE grabs ten Lupus Clones in his huge arms and throws them out a new hole. Kantii is thrown out by a twelve-Lupus effort, but he flies back in and slices of two heads. Chizu tosses one out overhand, and kicks another into a huge cryogenic machine, blowing it up and evaporating him. Kantii slices open a Lupus that turns into a very sticky substance, which he flicks off at the other Lupuses, and it explodes like Napalm. While they deal with the other Lupuses in the raging inferno, SwordMaster and the Fake Lupus Clone fight upon a series of girders just outside of the top of the official structure. The FLC ignites a dental floss-saber, and cool whips it at Sword Master. SwordMaster is forced to leap back, and charge him, but is met with pain in the form of an electric bonnet arm. The FLC holds SwordMaster up, and laughs maniacally, shocking him more. He attempts to throw him, but Kantii catches the stumbling SwordMaster and replaces him on the girder. However, a can of dried water is thrown at Kantii, who falls back in. The FLC laughs again, and brandishes his final weapon - A tom Cruise autographed original Happy Days # 2 tape. As he lifts the weapon, and the sun sets (for dramatic effect, not because of the earth's rotation), SwordMaster kind of, just stabs him in the chest, and walks away.)

GORE: Wow, we settled no one's past.

Kantii: So? The moral is... children are delicious.

Chizu: What? No it isn't!

SwordMaster: No, the true moral is that hot, strong, religious women all fall for swordsmen who don't post anymore. (wink)

Author: AaronGuy

*Meanwhile, one ocean over...*

Culex: Gah, someone must be talking about me. My ears are burning. *glances around at all the lava in the mansion* ...oh. Nevermind. What happened? There were all those explosions, and now this mansion somehow changed into an active volcano. Well, nevermind. I need to go find the others before they go and post two pages worth of adventures without me.

*another explosion shakes the floor*

Culex: Wow, this ground must be REALLY unstable if-

*A nearby wall shatters as several OgNers are thrown through it*

Super Fusionn: Grrrgh!

Smoky Mirawk: Power, speed, the head of a bat... yes, I should say that this new body will suit me quite nicely.

Bsdn: That's right, just keep talking to yourself. It'll just give me more time to cook up a MOLTEN EGG OMLETTE ON YOUR FACE!

*several flaming orange eggs explode around Mirawks body*

Mirawk: Funny, spending some time in molten lave seems to have worked up a resistance to lava. Imagine that.

*Mirawk leaps high in the air, coming down on Bsdn and Fusion, several swords in each hand. Several slices later, and the two are beside themselves*

Culex: ...What.

Mirawk: Ah, the purple alien boy. I hope you provide a much bigger challenge for me than all those referees I slaugthered. But then, this is all just practice before I go to North America and take care of your friends.

Culex: America? What are they doing there?

Mirawk: You aren't going to find out. Prepare yourself for the great beyond?

Culex: Oh, I've already been there. Trust me, it isn't great. *Promtly ducks Mirawk's sword and leaps backwards down a slightly disheveled corridor*

Mirawk: You can run, but you can't hide! *flies after him*

Culex: I don't get it. Why would Mirawk be running around killing everyone in sight? He seemed to be a little more collected than that... *rolls sideways into another room*

Person with Afro: AH! DON'T KILL ME!

Culex: What? ...Hey, aren't you that dancing guy from pages 2 through 5?

Renn: Yeah, that's me.

Culex: I thought you would have left the mansion a long time ago.

Renn: Trust me, I tried. But those refs wouldn't let me leave.

Culex: Well, I don't think you'll have to worry about them anymore...

Renn: Why's that? They beat feet once the place caught heat?

Culex: Actually, it's because-

Mirawk: *standing in doorway* I killed them. Just like I'm going to kill you two.

Renn: ACK! What do we do?

Culex: Looks like we're going to have to fight.

Renn: Guess so... I just need to know this, purple stranger. Can you beatbox?

Culex: I'm the beatbox champion of Varunia.

Renn: *cracks knucles* Then it's go time.

*Culex begins the beatbox, as Renn spins his way toward Mirwak. Unimpressed, Mirawk swings downward with each sword, only to have Renn electric slide sideways, before sweeping Mirawk off his feet with a well placed leg. He then takes the opportunity to Riverdance on Mirawks stomach for a few seconds while he's dazed from the fall.*

Mirawk: Curses! I'm not completely used this body just yet.

*Culex speeds up the beatbox. Renn now begins breakdance fighting, spinning around on the ground while launching a flurry of kicks. Mirwak stumbles backward before getting rammed from behind by Renn's afroed head. The dancer boogies left, then right, then uppercuts Mirawk, send him backwards again*

Mirawk: ENOUGH! *throws both swords at Renn*

Renn: GEEP! *ducks, but loses his afro*

Culex: *still beatboxing*

Mirawk: I'm impressed. If this body still had it's organic systems working, I'd have worked up a sweat on you two. *takes out four swords, two for each hand* But now it's time you perished.

*As Mirawk raised the swords for the attack, two green and brown spotted eggs drop on either side of his body. They quickly hatch, and a series of vines tangle around Mirawk, pinning him in place*

Culex: *stops* ...What the?

Yamina: *standing behind Mirawk* Hurry! There isn't much time!

*Culex and Renn nod, quickly ducking past the struggling Mirawk and following Yamina*

Culex: I thought Mirawk killed ALL the OgNers!

Yamina: Well, he didn't exactly round us up. He came out of a lava crater, and started killing anyone nearby. I ducked out of sight.

Culex: I wonder if he killed the Arcanist too.

Renn: Man, SHUT UP. This post is plently long as it is. Right now we need to get out of here.

Culex: Right. I have to get to America.

Yamina: You mean the TRO continent? Why would you want to go THERE?

Culex: I have friends there. Do you know of any transportation?

Yamina: Goren kept his personal jet in a silo a few miles north on this island. Maybe it didn't get caught in the missles...

Culex: Then lets go...

Author: Yami Yoshi

Verde: So Saru, you said you had information on this “Dark Cloak”?

Yami Yoshi: Yeah, spill the beans, Saru!

Saru: I don’t have too much information about him, but from what I’ve heard, he is the ruler of the dark dimension.

Yami Yoshi: Dark dimension? You mean Akujin’s realm?

Saru: Yes…Tenorvista and Nijuka’s realm as well. Millions of years ago, the Dark Cloak and his minions caused untold destruction across the universe. However, four valiant warriors battled against the Dark Cloak and his minions and sealed them in the dark dimension. I believe one of the warriors was the OGer, Introbulus. However, the seal slowly weakened over time and a few minions were able to slip through, including Akujin, Nijuka, and Tenorvista.

Legion: Speaking of Akujin, do you know anything about Akujin’s third eye?

Saru: Though the Dark Cloak’s minions were nigh invincible, their dark power was significantly weaker in the light dimension (this dimension). The Dark Cloak presented each of his minions one of his several demonic eyes. The eyes of their master granted them their nigh invincible power in this dimension as well. It also gave him a small degree of control over his minions, and he used them to conquer the universe once again.

SSG: But why didn’t the Dark Cloak just come into this dimension and take over, himself?

Saru: The Dark Cloak suffered a severe wound in the battle against the four warriors making it fatal for him to travel into this dimension without his…well, dark cloak…

Yami Yoshi: ~bursts out laughing~ HAHAHA!! I GET IT!!

~The OGers stare awkwardly at Yami Yoshi.~

Yami Yoshi: ~sweatdrop~ Uh…yeah…I mean...continue the story, Saru…

Saru: Thank you. Anyways, even though his dark cloak protected him from the luminosity of this dimension, he was still severely weakened, even weaker than his minions. Also, his minions’ progress in taking over the universe was slow, so he created a substance capable of controlling several soulless creatures at once—the Black Smoke.

Meanwhile…

~Introbulus unconsciously floats through space frozen inside an ice cube composed of einsteinium sandwiches…~

Author: Golem

~A woman in blue armor floats up to Introbulus. She touches the ice cube, and it slowly melts.~

Introbulus: Cerulea? Is that you?! They let you go?! Wait a minute... is THIS death? How ca--

Cerulea: Yes, this is me, no, no, don't know, yes, yes, tried that already, no, no, yes, no, last Tuesday, kinda sorta. Now if that's all your questions, Introbulus, we need to get back to Earth.

Introbulus: What's happening on Earth?

Cerulea: Akujin's dad is about to face off with the OGers. You'll be of immense help to them, but only if you still have your Iron Gauntlet.

Introbulus: Why wouldn't I have the gauntlet?

Cerulea: In twelve hours, if you stay out of the ice cube, your Iron Gauntlet will be completely gone.

Introbulus: You can just put me in an ice cube again, right?

Cerulea: No, I'm not exactly a specialist in einsteinium sandwiches.

Introbulus: So THAT's what that stuff was...

~Back in the tower...~

GORE: So, that's it... that's the end of the rebellion? That seemed a bit easy.

SwordMaster: It's my OG Blade. ~holds up sword, which glows~ I think Daishogun's soul must have managed to enter it, and that made it super powerful.

GORE: That doesn't even begin to make sense. How could a robot have a soul? Why would it enter your sword anyway?

SwordMaster: I'll explain later. But right now, we should...

~SwordMaster walks to a nearby window and opens it. He looks below to see the others on the ground.~

SwordMaster: The others are down below.

Chizu: ~leaning out window~ ...How can you tell from this high up?

OOC: Graagh I know this post is way too short, but I gotta go. Feel free to post.

Author: Fred

(Meanwhile, just outside the top of the tower of nondescript evil and bacon burglaring Tuesdays, on a rickety, barely hanging steel girder...)

FLC: Ugh... he should have Finnished me off... I still have another chance to dance...

Fred: Nein. You should have used the W-Item Materia trick, it was your last and least delecatable choice.

Lithium Debater: A pox upon your dinosaurs. Of Turk you weren't one.

FLC: You... must complete me... before my account on RuneScape is deleted...

Yahtzee Dubloons: Impossibility reeks in this one. Of Failure X2 and no continues you are.

FLC: But... I'm talking in short bursts and using periods!...! You are inclined to AIDS me in my time of peril!

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: I watched the operation on ER. You can't roll doubles three times, DUMBHEADFACE.

FLC: What! Who are you, anyways?

Fred: Of decisions we make with easy-bake. We shan't follow your garlic-flavoured kidney bean-bags any longer, sah.

Lithium Debater: Son, I'm going to hate to have to do this is to rover. Micheal Jordan-esque Lupus thing, you may be my father, but I will always be yo daddy. I'll always remember you by watching Space Jam. Or not. Ham and Jam.

(Lithium Debater drags him off into some field and shoots him in the head, then buries him solemnly. No wait, they're on a girder. Okay, they play darts using his body then fire him off into the sunset)

Fred: REWIND.

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: POUQUOI senor?

Yahtzee Dubloons: We forgot the milk!

Lithium Debater: Wait, he WAS going in for the big cheese! Don't get caught. (Unfurls a map in a secret drawer or window wait I think I used this line before, and it shows the location of Willy Wonka's illegal drugs factory, or just PIRATE ISLAND or the location of the real Lupus)

Fred: Not even lost in space? The true klan leader resides in China IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION?

Lithium Debater: We missed this apple on his head, to taste such splendor may be too grave. However, I know where my father keeps his stash of XXX hott private jets. NOWHERE.

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: No, we all know it was under that elevator. (\plot device)

Fred: Werthers Lupus is spotted with Prince Charles in bed or not, we've got a patrol boat to sink. (MONEY SHOT)

(Meanwhile in Europe)

Yamina: Wait, I can't fly a jet!

Renn: Don't look at me, I never went to school!

Yamina: I wasn't looking at you.

Culex: I'm not even from this dimension!

Yamina: Okay, but you're pretty strong. And YOU fly. Get underneath.

Culex: (whimpers)

Yamina: I gave an order...

(Meanwhile, in the other dimension)

Akujin: You!

Dark Cloak: Bwahaha! Akujin, my puppet, it's good to see you intact once more.

Akujin: I'll destro- (Akujin is immobilized completely)

Dark Cloak: How humourous. You know that this, the realm of darkness, is my realm. My whims are ultimate. Almost like yours in the Luminous realm.

Akujin: What? I don't remember...

Dark Cloak: Yes, it's pretty sad that you lost to the OGers. However, I'll refresh your memory. You created the Luminous realm. But instead of allowing you to manifest on a level equal to mine, I forced you to send some of your power to Tenorvista, as well as to me. However you managed to create it without my consent has eluded me, and I don't like not being in control. Those mortals with choice that you created, are very dangerous. They do not function on the same principles of pure energy as we do. However, Tenorvista has died, and he nor you will never rule that realm. I will.

Akujin: What? How is this?

Dark Cloak: The dangerous part of your realm is hope, and heroics. Because power is not their sole operator, they are liable to make sacrifices. This is how I gained such a wound, and I am so limited in that world. However, by stealing Tenorvista's link, I may restablish my rule. Threats are not something I like, and in time, your dominance there will wane. Why there are complications in breaking you, I cannot understand. Nijuka was easily corrupted, and Tenorvista was too afraid. But you, you stood with the heroes and fought back at me. Well, it's time you stopped choosing what happens. I hearby banish you from this universe, since I can't control the other one through you, it seems. Blah blah blah okay you're fired.

(Do I even need an action sequence for this? Very well, Dark Cloak lifts a, uhm, something. And Akujin disappears, into the ruins below the Generic Burger)

Abbandon: Welcome back. Unfortunately, there is no going out. Europe is under martial law of it's robots, controlled by Theodorik Loki, and if you got past them, it'd be China on your ass.

Akujin: Very well, it looks like I'll have to get to it, doesn't it? Tenorvista's link won't wait forever.

(However, as Loki's robots centralize around his corpse, kept in the most secure reaches of the mansion, it always could.)

Author: Golem

~Down below, GORE, SwordMaster, Chizu, and Kantii exit the tower. They meet up with Yami and the others outside.~

SSG: We found these lying on the ground and figured they were highly collectible... do they belong to you? ~points behind him, where the broken THPDR and strangely intact AaronGuy statue lay~

Chizu: Actually, that stuff is everyone's.

THPDR/BSD: Hey! I'm not "stuff"!

~A baseball flies from seemingly nowhere and bonks Yami Yoshi on the back of the head.~

Yami: ~turning around~ Hey, who did that?

~The three men covered in black clothes stand a few feet away from the OGers. This time, they each wear a baseball cap. Yami spots them, and all the others turn to face the men as well.~

Yami: Oh-ho-ho, you're in for it THIS time! Outnumbered: a bunch to three!

~Legion sidles up beside Yami and looks to him while holding up his gun. Yami shakes his head as if to say "no."

As the three men stand there, GORE takes his first shot. He runs towards. They stand still. He jumps in the air, ready to come down hard on the man on the right with his organic arm. However, at the last second, he kicks the man in the side with his metallic foot. GORE then readies to hold him to the ground while the others approach the other two men. When the man on the right struggles to stay up, he sees GORE start a punch. The man takes off his cap and whips it into place where GORE's punch will land. GORE punches right into the baseball cap, and the man stands unaffected. GORE jumps backward, expecting an attack, then a baseball shoots out of the baseball cap and hits GORE square in the chest, knocking him to the ground.~

GORE: ~gasp, gasp~ Guys, watch out! I think these hats--

~But before GORE could finish, the shrieks of shy guys from the shy guy army filled the air. Tons of them were being shot out of the two baseball caps that the two other men in black held. The third man leaped at GORE, and GORE responded by putting his two feet up into the air. Expecting this, the man put his baseball cap down on GORE's feet. GORE, rather than kicking the man back up, gently yet swiftly pulls his feet close to his chest and hugs the man. He quickly snatches the cap from the man.~

GORE: You should've stuck with the paper airplanes.

~GORE then lets go of his grip on the man long enough to use both his organic and metallic legs to launch the man into the air and right into the stream of shy guys being shot out of the men's caps. Soon after, the stream stops, and the entire shy guy army lies in a pile over by the tower.

Yami runs up to tackle the man in the middle, who also stands still, his cap in his hand. Just before Yami makes it there, though, a gunshot is fired from a few feet off the sideline. Yami leaps, too late to stop, right into the closed end of the baseball cap as the open end of the cap receives Legion's bullet. The force of Yami's tackle sends the open end of the cap right up against the man's chest, and the same bullet is shot again, this time from the cap through the man's chest. The man lets go of the cap, and Yami grabs it, then watches as he falls to the ground. Yami almost gives Legion a mean glare when his face turns to meet SwordMaster fighting the lone man in black clothes.

The man rapidly manuevers his cap to counter SwordMaster's sword strikes. SwordMaster moves in for a downward strike, and the man meets the sword with the open end of the cap. The cap then shoots out a baseball, which bounces off the sword and knocks SwordMaster off balance. GORE hits the man from behind with a punch, and Verde comes from the side with another punch. The man's hat falls off, and SwordMaster catches it.

Off to the side, yellow ponchos seem to arrive from nowhere and throw pokéball-like devices at the two men in black clothes, and a third into the pile of shy guys. Each ball hits a man in black clothes, then captures him in a fashion similar to the use of a pokéball. All three of these devices return to the yellow ponchos, which disappear again.~

Yami: Legion, we could've grilled them for information!

GORE: They would've gotten away anyway. And besides, we can put the hurt on Saru if we want information.

Saru: I can't help. I don't know anything about those men. Perhaps you didn't note my lack of hurting them because of that fact.

GORE: Sounds like we need to put the hurt on--

RHYK: Hold it.

~Everyone looks to RHYK, who casually leans up against the pile of shy guys.~

RHYK: Saru doesn't know anything. I'd tell you all about those guys, but I can't, I'm sworn to confidentiality. But what I can do is help you with the final bad guy you're about to face.

SwordMaster: Final? I remember thinking that defeating Akujin would solve all our problems because he led the MPVP. Now it turns out Akujin has a boss we need to contend with. Really, if you're going to do anything, just tell us if there's ever an end to this chain.

RHYK: That's what I'm here for in the long run. Right now, we need to focus on defeating Dark Cloak, who is on his way to our position. I have much that I CAN to explain to you--but AFTER the fight.

~Just then, an airplane comes into view. It wavers from side to side before landing not too far off, crashing the right wing into a building. Culex, Renn, and Yamina hop out and run towards the OGers.~

RHYK: ~looking to the plane~ That's probably Dark Cloak.

GORE: How did they manage to get here without getting shot down by TRO...?!

~Introbulus and Cerulea watch from a nearby rooftop.~

RHYK: I suspect that Dark Cloak protected the plane while he hitched a ride. ~Mirawk lets go of the bottom of the plane, falls to the ground, gets up, and starts running towards the OGers~ There he is now.

Chizu: How is he running? Heck, how is he existing?! He's charred worse than a heavily charred object!

Mirawk: ~yelling while still quite a ways away~ OGers! It's time to meet your maker's maker!

~Mirawk holds up a shiny platinum Game Boy. The surrounding area is filled with immense light, and no one can see. Soon, some of the OGers reappear within the walls of a room completely black. They can feel the floor, but nothing is visibly discernable.~

SwordMaster: I still have the cap...

GORE: Same here.

Yami: I've got mine... but, ugh... RHYK, are you here?

~No answer.~

GORE: He isn't.

Yami: That lousy, skipping out on a bill when he said he'd help us... alright, who's here? Roll call!

~At this time, everybody becomes visible, though the walls, floor, and ceiling remain perfectly black.~

Meanwhile, by the tower and the parked TRO submarine, Rhyk opens his eyes to find before him the Game Boy. It lays on the ground.~

RHYK: Okay Author 9, do your stuff! Write me into the Dark Dimension so I can help out during the final battle!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~In a dim room, Author 9 sits in a chair, tied to the chair in three places--one set of rope tied around his torso, one set around his upper legs, and one set of rope around his lower legs. His hands are also tied behind his back and his mouth is gagged.~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RHYK: C'mon 9, now isn't the time to wuss out!!
...
...Dangit...
...This isn't going to look good...

Author: Yami Yoshi

Meanwhile in the black room…

~A red “V” flashes in front of the OGers and illuminates the room with an eerie crimson glow. The source of the light is Bat-Ear Mirawk’s furry forehead.~

Bat-Ear: Kee hee hee hee hee! Welcome OGers, to the Dark Dimension!

Saru: No! Bat-Ear!

Bat-Ear: Kee hee hee! Even with echolocation, I still don’t think Bat-Ear can hear you! The Warrior of Wind’s soul is no more!

Yami Yoshi: Warrior of Wind? Was Bat-Ear one of the four warriors?

Saru: Yes. Bat-Ear landed on Earth and joined Goren’s tournament because he sensed strong Dark Smoke activity there...and because he wanted a new toaster.

Ihsay: I see…the tournament was the perfect opportunity for the Dark Cloak to build a powerful army of Black Smoke soldiers from the soulless corpses of the losers.

GORE: And he had the billions of soulless people resurrected by the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~!

Bat-Ear: Kee hee hee! You guys are catching on! The discovery of Earth was the discovery of a gold mine!

~Bat-Ear whips off his cloak, revealing eight katana scabbards on his belt.~

Bat-Ear: However, you OGers are a gold mine yourselves! I could easily conquer the entire light dimension with your corpses alone! HACHIRYU! EIGHT SWORD STYLE!

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