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Episode 1: Zero Mission by GORE-ILLA[edit]
OoC: This is basically a story taking place three
years before VGF Member OG 1, about how the VGFMOG characters were like three years before the cheesecake was stolen. My side of the story will focus on GORE-ILLA's final mission and his life at the slave camp. So without further ado...
VGF MEMBERS OG ZERO: BEFORE THE CHEESECAKE!
GORE-ILLA - Episode 1: Zero Mission
A gorilla ran through the halls of the Jedi Temple
on Coruscant. He was large, black-furred, wore long, flowing Jei robes, and had a lightsaber hanging from his belt. He had no real name, but the Jedi referred to him simply as...The Monkey. He reached the end of the hall and entered a circular room. Sitting in twelve chairs surrounding him where the Jedi Council.
The Monkey: (bows) Hello, masters.
Yoda: Mm, mm. Right on time you are, Padawan Monkey.
Mace Windu: Yes, the time has come for your test.
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Pass this test, and you will be a Jedi Knight.
The Monkey: I know, sir. What is my mission?
Yoda: Well, young Monkey. For this test you must return to the gorilla colony.
The Monkey: !!!
Mace Windu: Yes. There have been mysterious attacks on the colony as of late, and we decided to send you, since you have the most knowledge of your race.
The Monkey: Yes, masters.
Yoda: Go now, Padawan. And may the Force be with you.
The Monkey: I will return triumphantly, and I will become a Jedi Knight. May the Force be with you, masters. (Leaves)
Yoda: Yes. Go, young Monkey...to your destiny...
Mace Windu: Uncle Billy you fool!
*GORE-ILLA departs from Coruscant in a Jedi Starfighter custom-made so he can fit in it.*
TO BE CONTINUED....
Author: GreatLuigi[edit]
GL lit a torch in the dark hallway, his eyes brushing all over it. He spat a toothpick out of his mouth and clutched the wall with both hands and began to climb.
GL: Damnit, I wish Fred was here! I wanted him to see me obtain the...
DEVIL'S SCEPTER!!!!!!!!
GL: I will get it, and become a great cliche villian of the times! Muahahahahahhahaha! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
GL exerts his body weight onto his hands and uses them to propell him to the ceiling, in which two stick pads rolled down his arms and attached themselves to his hands and ceiling. GL moved through the hole in the wall, his destination becoming closer...
Episode 3: BSD has Zero Tolerance by Black Skull Dragoshi[edit]
BSD is seen rampaging through New York burning down buildings,killing people,and making chopped potatoes out of anyone that got in his way.
BSD:It's time to burn this place to the ground! Now I will use my evil laugh! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Suddenly,a bunch of police officers surrond BSD.
Police Officers:BSD,you're under arrest for mass murder and mass destruction!
BSD:I have Zero Tolerance about anybody getting in my way,so prepare to fry!
BSD just incinerates the officers.
BSD:That was easy. Now,to attack Japan!
BSD summons THE MAN,jumps on top of his head and tells him to go to Japan.
Author: Fusion[edit]
*Meanwhile, in an underground lab...*
Head Scientist: Mr. Giovanni, sir. I believe we have the plans for the ultimate warrior.
Giovanni: Tell me more.
Head Scientist: He will have every power in the universe.
Giovanni: And his name...?
Head Scientist: His name...will be Fusion.
Episode 5: A Mission of Destiny by Introbulus[edit]
Warning: Extremely big post ahead! Watch for falling plot devices!
(In a secret underground lab, on some distant planet, a pile of stuff lies seemingly-spewed across a room. Not just any ol' ordinary "run-of-the-mill" stuff either, although you could probably find some of that too! Mixed in with complex machinery, hi-tech artifacts, and ancient weapons of immense power, were ordinary candy bar wrappers, rubber bands, newspaper, spoons, shark jaws, and, well, I think you get the idea. Within the trash and treasure, a familiar red robe hung on a coatpost, seemingly lifeless. This, however, was not the case when it sprung to life seconds later!)
Jim: (YAWWWNN!!) What a night! I wonder what was keeping me up?
Jim looked over at Introbulus, who was sprawled hapasardly across a giant bed. Despite the size of the bed, it was still too big for Introbulus to fit on. Right in front of Introbulus's face, a strange Game&Watch-like device blinked and beeped.
Jim: [Eek!] INTROBULUS!
Introbulus: (Springing to life) YAHH!! Huh??? Oh, it's just you Jim, hey look! Our mission-signal is beeping!
Jim: It's been beeping all night! Why weren't you awake?
Introbulus: Well, even Partial mortals need sleep sometimes! Hey, if you knew it was beeping, why didn't you answer it?
Jim: [Mad] I DON'T HAVE HANDS!!!!
Introbulus: Oh yeah, right.
(Introbulus picks up the device, and pushes a button)
Device: Good morning, Introbulus! I see you're right on schedule!
Introbulus: See? Nothing to worry about!
Jim: [Roll Eyes]
Device: Your mission assignment today is directly from headquarters!
Introbulus: Headquarters? It's about time! They haven't given us a mission in weeks! I was starting to think that the Universe had balanced itself out!
Jim: The universe never balances itself out, Introbulus. It is always at total chaos. Without this chaos, it could not last any longer than a single IDSTFP day!
Introbulus: Isn't an IDSTFP day extremely short?
Jim: Exactly!
Introbulus: ...Okay then, oh look! Our mission has something to do with "destiny" today! Apparantly, we're supposed to set out a series of events that will lead up to the creation of the...OGers? What the heck is that?
Jim: Beats me! I wouldn't be caught DEAD in a club with a name like that!
Introbulus: You wouldn't be caught dead at all, Jim. Your body has to be destroyed for you to die, remember?
Jim: ...Enough stalling! Let's get this thing started!
(Meanwhile, back on Earth...)
Fortune Teller: Want your fortune told again, Sir Lupus?
Lupus: Not today, Fortune-Teller. I'm looking to see the outcome of an upcoming battle. Can you tell me...how to get to Sesame Street?
Fortune Teller: Of coure I...wait, what?
Lupus: Er, sorry, that slipped. Now then, can you tell me how my quest to convert the world to Sheitism will fare?
Fortune Teller: Of course I can! But first, I will need an item of value. Perhaps a credit car...?
(Lupus Wraps his hand around the Fortune Teller's neck)
Lupus: If you don't read my fortune NOW, I'll kill you, and get another fortune teller!
Fortune Teller: Oh very well! Let's see...(gazes into the crystal ball) Hmmm, oh yes! I see! Yes! You shall succeed in your quest to rule the world! You shall become a powerful god! You shall be an infamous supervillian and bring ruin to the whole world!
Lupus: Yes! I knew it! [Big Grin]
Fortune Teller: But...
Lupus: Huh?!? You said "but"! That means something bad! What's bad!?!
Fortune Teller: In the end, you will fail.
Lupus: [Mad] FAIL!?!?! HOW!!??!O
Fortune Teller: I'm not quite sure how...but it has something to do with "OGers"...
Lupus: NO! I must stop these meddlesome fools before they become a threat! Tell me, who are they!?!
Fortune Teller: Hold on, let me look deeper. This is a very cloudy vision...
(Fortune Teller looks sternly into the crystal ball, which shimmers with energy and, eventually, breaks under the pressure)
Fortune Teller: GAH!!! It will take months to replace that!
Lupus: I'll pay you anything, if you can just give me a name!
Fortune Teller: [Mad] Grr...lucky for you, I'm an experienced fortune teller, otherwise, you'd have nothing!
Lupus: You have them, then?
Fortune Teller: One, and only one. ...Yami Yoshi! Get rid of him, and the OGers will never come to pass!
To Be Continued...
Episode 6: Operation: Gorilla by GORE-ILLA[edit]
The Jedi Starfighter flew through space, several
days after departing from Coruscant. In the near distance was the space colony. It looked like the Floating Island, except it was orbiting Earth and protected by an artificial atmosphere. The starfighter entered the atmosphere and made landing preparations. Two small spaceships, also customized to fit gorillas, flew beside him and escorted him over the beautiful jungle that appeared to have come out of a painting. The Jedi
Starfighter slowly descended to the treetop landing pad. The hatch opened, and The Monkey climbed out. The two escorts pulled away. The Monkey then slid down a vine to the surface, where a voice greeted him.
Voice: Greetings, Jedi.
The Monkey turned to see a tough, adult silverback gorilla. He was accompanied by a large troop of gorillas. Most noticeable was the female standing beside the silverback. To a human's eyes,
she was just another gorilla. But in the eyes of
another gorilla, she was very beautiful. She had abnormal pink eyes and even her fur looked brighter then other gorillas. Luckily The Monkey was wearing robes, so the others couldn't see his, uh...reaction. (remember, the other gorillas are NOT wearing clothes [Wink] ) The Monkey quickly regained his Jedi posture and faced the silverback.
The Monkey: Hello, sir...
Silverback: Quarlog. Chief Quarlog.
The Monkey: Quarlog. I greet you on behalf of the
Jedi order.
Quarlog: Bah. Jedi are just crazy sorcerors. I didn't want their help, but my sister here insisted on it. She believes this situation is much more dangerous then it actually is.
The Monkey: I understand. Simply guide me to the scene of the attack.
Quarlog: Alright. Follow me.
*Elsewhere, at Lupus's EVIL Mountain Lair of (cliched) Doom...*
News Reporter: (on TV) In other news, a dinosaur of some sort was seen rampaging through New York earlier today...
Lupus shuts off the TV as he sits on the couch. He looks the same, but with a large green aphro. Wait, wrong time period. He looks more or less the
same as he did in the VGF Member OG. Just three years younger.
Lupus: Eh. Nothing in the news today. (Koopa bursts in, with an aphro)
Koopa: Important news, Sir Lupus! Moderator Flutter has resigned! The Moderator Elections start today! (Yes, I know the Moderator Election didn't take place three years ago, but...)
Lupus: Perfect! I will become Moderator, and make sure no normalness exists in any OGs! Every OG will be as off-the-wall as The Life and Adventures
of Miyamoto! Do you know who else is running?
Koopa: Well, I've heard Yami Yoshi and Kolorado are among the candidates....
Lupus: Yami Yoshi, eh? I should take care of him...then I'll be moderator AND be rid of Yami Yoshi! Mwahahhahhahaaaaaaaa!!!!! Oh, and Koppa, about the army?
Koopa: Sir, why gorillas? There are hundreds of powerful nations willing to lend their support.
Lupus: Those are humans! Its too normal for a TWIFATIT commander! Therefore, I shall get my own gorilla army to enforce the OG Boards when I become Moderator! And prepare my jet! Next stop is the Mod Wanted topic!
Koopa: Yes, sir.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Episode 7: BSD's first battle for his life by Black Skull Dragoshi[edit]
THE MAN (or TM) and BSD were rampaging trough Japan cutting,frying,squishing, and destroying people or things until they come across some one who dares challenge them.
???????????:BSD,I challenge to a one-on-one battle! Jump off TM if you're not chicken!
BSD:Fine! (to TM) Take five,buddy.
TM:Yes sir.
TM walks into the ocean.
BSD:Who are you?
Giga Bowser:I am Giga Bowser!
BSD:Prepare to die GB!
GB:You wish!
Above Japan in a helicopter Lupus and Koopa have stopped to look for any sky-high victims to kill before they go to the Mod Wanted topic.
Koopa:This is going to be interesting.
Lupus:Does anybody have any pizza?
TO BE CONTINUED...........
Episode 8: The Creation Begins by Fusion[edit]
*Suddenly, every hero and villian in the universe stop fighting and stand in a long line above a metal bunker*
Head Scientist: We have called you to collect a cell from each of you.
Lupus: What for?
Head Scientist: To create the ultimate warrior.
Introbulus: I will not participate!
Head Scientist: Very well. *points to the Death Star hovering above in space*
Introbulus: NOOO! NOT THAT!!
Head Scientist: Yes...THAT!! If you fail to cooperate, then we will destroy your home planet of Metalon.
Introbulus: NOOOOOOOO!! METAL DESTRUCTION!!
*Nothing happens*
Head Scientist: The Death Star is too large to be destroyed by you.
Introbulus: Alright, I will participate.
Head Scientist: Wise choice. Follow me. *leads Introbulus and the rest of the warriors into an underground lab*
TO BE CONTINUED...
Episode 9: Sneaking out by Introbulus[edit]
^OOC: 1: I already clearly indicated that I'm not there at that time, and I doubt that I'm even on Earth at the time!
Still OOC: 2: Introbulus doesn't have a home planet. Sorry, but he doesn't know where he comes from, and probably never will, and never did.
Introbulus: (thinking) I better cooperate with these guys, the mission statement said that this "Fusion" guy is supposed to have every power in the universe!(/thinking) Okay then, here's a cell. (tosses a scientist a bottle with a cell inside)
Scientist: ...Thanks?
Introbulus: Don't mention it!
Scientist: Say, could we have a cell of that floating guy behind you? (points to Jim)
Jim: You probably could, but you wouldn't get anything but a peice of cloth!
Scientist: Oh, well, we've got a lot of heroes and villians to go through, so I guess, you're dismissed!
Introbulus: Thanks! (Walks away)
Jim: (thinking)(BLEEP!)(/thinking) (Floats away).
Narrirator: Did the author use too many parenthesis there? Oh well, join us next time, for another episode of VGF Member OG Zero!
Episode 10: BSD's donation of a cell by Black Skull Dragoshi[edit]
BSD:What do ya want from me?
Scientist:A cell from your body.
BSD:Fine. (Hands Scientist a jar with a cell from his body and leaves)
TO BE CONTINUED......................
Episode 11: Arrogant Lupus by Fusion[edit]
Lupus: You expect me to donate a cell to a warrior who will probably destroy me in the future??? FORGET IT!!!
Head Scientist: Very well. BRING OUT THE HEAVY ARTILLERY!!!
*Suddenly, a hunchbacked scientist appears holding a cheesecake*
Head Scientist: It's all yours if you just give us one cell.
Lupus: Um...okay!!! *gives a cell and eats the cheesecake and leaves*
TO BE CONTINUED...
Episode 12: Not that much backround by Fred[edit]
Fred: Me from Canada, eh!
Fortune Teller: Greetings, Fred.
Fred: Are you ANOTHER voice inside my head?
Fortune Teller: Thankfully for me, no. I'm here to tell your fortune, since your future is choc-full of legendary ****.
Fred: sure, whatever.
Fortune Teller: You will join a group to save the world... but eventually you must disband from said group. You shall join forces with a former enemy and become the stereotype sidekick for GreatLuigi.
Fred: I don't really follow, since I'm currently chewing on my toes. And GreatLuigi, who the hell is that?
Fortune Teller: He is the wielder of the devil's scepter.
Fred: Ok. So what?
Fortune Teller: So you need to know. There will come a time when you will overcome numerous great opponents. You will help overcome EVIL. You will aid the war on the Seph-gods. You will narrowly beat some opponents. You will be beaten a bunch of times by the group you were in before. You must become opponent with one of their members, BSD. You may need to beat him to reach your ultimate goal...
Fred: That's nice and all, but I need to get to my hockey game, eh?
Fortune Teller: Shut up and listen. Your ultimate mission is to kill the one named... King Bob.
Fred: Sure, why not?
Fortune Teller: Honestly, how are you filled with so much friggen potential if you're so stupid- Well, whatever. You must destroy him, since he destroyed Wafflonia.
Fred: Come again?
Fortune Teller: Very well. Wafflonia was a planet that had earth's exact orbit, but was on the other side of the sun, so could never be seen. Your Great-Great grandparents escaped when King Bob the Demolisher wiped it out. You are the sole desendant of that planet.
Fred: Ok.
Fortune Teller: (slaps head) Well, that means you get the power of The Waffle Throw, Sir Fredrick of Waffles!
(light swirls around Fred, and he learns his natural ability to use The Waffle Throw)
Fred: Wow, it's all destiny-full.
Fortune Teller: I too... come from a distant planet. It was the moon of Wafflonia, and an independent planet. It was destroyed as well, and I want you to be able to defeat... King Bob... since I am dying. Remember, never speak or remember this conversation during any OGs, just remember that you have The Waffle Throw. And your name. It's a pimpin name, so keep it.
Fred: Whatever.
Fortune Teller: And...Now...(gasp)...I.. Am...Dead.
(Fortune Teller dies)
Fred: This keeps happening to me. I've never made it on time to a Hockey Game in my life. Oh well, for now I can just dance to forget this whole thing.
(Fred dances to "Oops! There it is!" music)
Episode 13: A Sign of Things to Come by Golem[edit]
~Also in the line is...~
Yami Yoshi: I don't get it... Why am I here? Everyone else is a hero or something. ~sees a Yoshi looking just like himself next to him~ Hi!
Pharoah: What do you want?!
Yami Yoshi: Sorry... just making conversation...
I was also wondering why I was in this line.
Pharoah: Don't be so ignorant! You are my descendant, who will carry on my evil with your amazing power!
Yami Yoshi: [Eek!] Your descendant?! Evil?! Amazing power?!
Guard: Let's move it along now...
Head Scientist: How'd you get in here?
Yami Yoshi: I was asking myself that question a few minutes ago...
Head Scientist: No hair... Hmm... Ah! Open your mouth. ~gets out swab, puts it in Yami Yoshi's mouth~ Soon, you won't remember a thing from your visit here. You're dismissed.
Yami Yoshi: Where do I go n--~disappears~
Episode 14: The Raid by GORE-ILLA[edit]
Scientist: Nameless Head Scientist, sir, I have a
question.
Head Scientist: What is it, nameless Assisstant?
Scientist: How will you get cells from the millions of heroes and villains we don't know of,
like Jedi monkeys and such?
Head Scientist: Don't worry. I've sent out billions of mosquito-like lifeforms across the universe to collect any cells we do not know of
and add to the DBZ Parody!
Scientist: Pure genius, sir!
*Elsewhere, in the docking bay...*
Lupus: The jet should be here any minute, now. Then I can get back to the Gorilla Army Project!
*A TWIFATIT jet arrives, piloted by Koopa.*
Koopa: Hop in, sir!
Lupus: (hops in) Ow! I should step in next time. Anywho, call the TWIFATIT jets and order them
to attack the Gorilla Colony!
Koopa: Yessir!
*Elsewhere, the gorillas lead The Monkey through the jungle...*
The Monkey: (thinking) Darn mosquitos. (/thinking) This place is beautiful.
Quarlog: Thank you. The humans sent us here forty years ago since most of our species' habitats
had been destroyed. There are now a thousand gorillas in this colony of all ages. They are divided into troops scattered across the colony. Each troop is lead by a cheif. I am the High Chief, second in rank only to the Elder Chief. We're approaching the village now.
The Monkey and the gorillas approach a burnt-up village.
The Monkey: Whoa. This is terrible.
Quarlog: Yes. We are now hard at work trying to rebuild the village.
The Monkey: Wait. (goes into fighting stance and ignites lightsaber.) They're coming.
Suddenly, a small armada of TWIFATIT jets descend
from the sky and fire lasers (set on stun) at the
group of gorillas. The Monkey uses his lightsaber
to deflect the blasts.
The Monkey:Go ahead! I'll hold them off!
The Monkey hops from jet to jet and cuts through
them with his lightsaber. Soon, they are all no longer existant. The Monkey uses his speed to catch up to the others.
The Monkey: We need to find somewhere to hide.
Quarlog: Wait; first I must inform the others. (takes out comlink) Attention Gorilla Colony! This
is High Chief Quarlog! The colony is under attack. I repeat: the colony is under attack! Retreat to the Safehouse, now! High Chief Quarlog out! (turns off comlink) Follow me!
The Monkey and the gorillas follow Quarlog through the jungle.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Episode 15: How to pickle a...um...pickle? by Fred[edit]
GreatLuigi: Yes! I am both Luigi and Great! I have obtained the Devil's Scepter!
LOUD VOICE WITH NAME ENTIRELY IN CAPITALS FOR NOW: YOU DARE TAKE THE DEVIL'S SCEPTER?
GL: Yeah, that's pretty much the game plan.
LVWNEICFN: THEN, DIE.
(Three gargoyles in the chamber come to life. GL looks in panic, and quickly attaches the Devil's Scepter to his arm. Quickly, one of the huge gargoyles is on him, but GL whacks hhim back with the scepter. Another Gargoyle attacks GL with a claw to the shoulder, but GL blocks it with the scepter and kicks the stone figure onto the ground. The third Gargoyle instantly leaps on GL from behind, but GL drops to the floor and lashes out the scepter. The scepter smashes the stone figure to pieces, but the other two gargoyles have recovered by then and leap at GL. Gl is punched by one, blocks a claw with the scepter, dodges a bite, punches the closer one in the stomach, stops a wing aimed for his shoulder, and bashes another one to pieces with his scepter. The last gargoyle hits his hard with his wing on GL's frontside, which sends GL into the large room's wall, and forcing the ruined wall to crumble. GL flies out into an open road, with Fred standing at a bus stop. Four Gargoyles fly out of the hole in the wall, armed with ancient weapons, and dive at GL)
Fred: Rough day.
GL: You could say that.
(GL launches the Devil's scepter to smash one of the Gargoyles up, but his shot it deflected by the creature's picked up shield. The biggest Gargoyle flies at GL, but Fred brings down his hammer on it. The creature shrivels in pain, and crumbles to dust).
Gargoyle: Awck!
(The Gargoyles dive at Fred, but two are eliminated by GreatLuigi and Fred breaks the last one's head off with his knee)
GL: Intresting way to meet people. Where am I?
Fred: Canada, eh? Why are you asking? It's ludicrous to get past those customs.
GL: Meh.
Fred: Well, me is thinking you should stay a while.
GL: Sorry. I just have to sort of, Y'know, form the foundation of the "TWIFATIT". It's some secret evil orginization in Tokyo.
Fred: Then why the hell are you here?
GL: Um... I needed some Tomato Sauce.
Fred: Oh, that explains the gargoyles. Those shopkeepers are real bastards.
GL: Ok. Wait, I didn't introduce myself. I'm GreatLuigi.
Fred: Um, funny you should mention that name... er, I mean, my name is Sir Fredrick Of Waffles!
GL: Come again?
Fred: (Bluntly) I'm Fred.
GL: Welp, see you some other time if you ever switch from the side of Good to Evil in some strange plot twist.
Fred: Ok. Whatever.
(Suddenly, the whole ruins shakes and breaks apart. A gigantic statue of a Devil breaks out and sheds it's stone to show that it's an actual devil)
Fred: Crap...
GL: Let's somehow pull through and kill him.
Fred: Sure, Why not? WAFFLE THROW!
(Fred throws the salmon-filled waffle and distracts the devil by creating a large rip in the flesh of it's demonic belly. GL uses the Devil's Scepter to eliminate the beast's legs, and then gives Fred a boost up to the Devil's face. Fred shoves a bottle of Pepto Bismol into it's mouth and the Devil implodes)
Fred: Wait, what happened?
GL: It doesn't matter. We shall meet again, cliche style!
Fred: Sure.
(GL disappears super-cliche-ly)
Fred: Crap, I'm late for another hockey game.
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