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Author: Neo

Neo] I am SO not a diplomat! *****! ;_;

Sano] ......() ...interesting... No further comment. *Smiles brightly*

Neo] What in the hell am I supposed to be doing, anyway?

Sano] I'm too lazy to read everyone's crap, but I think we're supposed to make our own side story crap.

Neo] ........ Okay. Let's see. Neo's life story.

Sano] No.

Neo] I hate you. O_O;

Author: Fred

(meanwhile, at the ranch)

Lupus: Muahahah, my plan cannot fail. All I need to do is steal Yami Yoshi's Cheesecake! That is his weakness!

Koopa: Um, sir, don't you think you should at least upgrade this ranch to your evil mountain lair of (cliched) doom in time for the story to start?

Lupus: Pfft. They all just WANT you to think crazy things like that. No worries, got it covered.

(meanwhile)

Kamek: Ouch, my back, this hurts SO much...

(also meanwhile)

Announcer: And Fred has just broken that man's jock and lower groinal area in two with his teeth! I don't even want to think about what he'll do to the goalie!

Announcer 2: That was his teammate! Both teams are trying to be Fred, but there's no stopping him. Oh! TRIPLE AXLE!

Announcer: Sure was a good one, too bad YOU missed it. John Travolta has just scored a goal! Wait... That's Fred's arm, through a hole in Travolta's hand! WHAT A PLAY!

Announcer 2: And the SWAT team is realeasing pepper spray and explosive rounds into the rink, this is down to the wire!

Announcer: And now Fred has just busted into our private box and is pulling out our spinal cords! What the refs decsision on that one?... erk...

Fred: There, that's the end of that. Wait, who's that, right over there?

???: I am ********** Sezter. I have been sent to destroy you. Sampras and Agassi sent me.

Fred: Really?

LJ: Well, sorta, except not at all.

Fred: I see. Ok, get out of here so you can write your own story.

LJ: But -

Fred: No, not this cord going to the stapler twice now. Run along young man.

(LJ is ousted from the room for NO REASON)

Fred: muahahah... It's finally time for my vengance. Foolish SWAT team, it is time for your...

(is knocked out from behind by Batman)

Batman: They all get it at least once from me. You can't hide an addiction to wood softener. I'm putting you towards a good cause... It has something to do with taking a cell. Good, now nobody will guess I am Adam West. Muahahahahah!

Author: Legion

Meanwhile, we go to join Legion and SSG who are now floating in a white void.

SSG: Sir?

Legion: What?

SSG: Limbo is fun.

Legion: ...Shut up.

SSG: Whee! Lookit me! *backflips through the emptiness for five minutes until he collides with BSD's brain* Argh!

Legion: Egads! Inform the media! We've found his...

*WEAPON and Tritoch float through the emptiness with a billboard saying 'INSULT BSD = BAN'"

Legion: *blinks then drifts off into the emptiness whistling nonchalantly*

*BSD's brain disappears*

SSG: What just happened?

Legion: Never you mind. Now, how do we get out of here.

SSG: Well, from what I remember we just drift around until another plothole opens up a deposits us elsewhere.

*as if on cue a huge plothole opens in limbo and sucks the two out*

SSG: Wheeeee!!!!

Legion: *knocks him out* Now, where are we going to appear?

Meanwhile, again...

*A huge plothole opens above Batman's head. Legion and SSG emerge to fall onto the Caped Crusader*

Legion: Sergeant? One, this is cruel and unusual, and ever so slightly ironic. Two, remind me to kill our Narrator.

Episode 32: Cow Madness by GORE-ILLA

In a secret underground lab, The Utter, hidden beneath an innocent-looking McDonald's, scientists experiment on animals like cows and chickens with deadly chemicals. But no one knows about the secret deadly Vitamin C virus. A man in a trenchcoat walked into an empty room where a gentle cow who had yet to be poisone lay. The man reached into his breifcase and pulled out the needle holding the Vitamin C virus. He tossed it at the cow. The man immediately turned and ran as the cow inhaled the Vitamin C. The man ran through a cordor, bumping into a worker drinking coffee as he fled. The man in the trenchcoat quicky ran through a door a thblast doors close and saled off the Utter from the rest of the world. He quickly boarded the jet-train and rode it to safety. As the train began to ascend to McDonald's.

The man took off his trenchcoat and hat, revealing himself to be a tall man with crazy hair, goggles, and a lab coat, the whole mad scientist getup. He slumped back and relaxed. Suddenly, a loud thump was heard on the side of the train. The grotesque face of the cow he poisoned peeked through the open train door. The cow leaped in. It was tall, walking upright like a man. It had milk dripping from it's mouth and lookreally really mad.

Cow: Greetings, I'm "Ol' Bessie", as the dunkenMcDonald's employees call me.

Man: You...can talk?

Ol'Bessie: Yes, EVIL Scietist Dude. The Viamin C Virus has temporarily made me very intelligent, but as my crave for milk grows, I will become less smart and more strong.

EVIL Scientist Dude: Excellant! You could make a good henchman, just like my giant lobster in China! Say, what do you eat?

Ol' Bessie: I feed on the milk from people's blood, my dear chap.

ESD: Yes, I had prepared to get rid of the Vitamin C virus and anyon who knew of it so it could not be linked to me, and the guys in the restaurant know a bit too much -

Ol' Bessie: Say no more! I'll help you dispose of these intrusions! (By now, they've left the train and are outside the McDonald's)

ESD: Go get them!

Ol' Bessie enters the store (Cashier: [img]graemlins/omg.gif[/img] )and comes out with milk drooling from its mouth and dragging the cashier's carcass.

Ol' Bessie: I'd like some fries wth that.

ESD: [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] Good job. Now we need to get out of here before the authorities that traitor tipped off arrive!

*Elsewhere, in China....*

Pinchy leaps out of the ocean and charges towards THE MAN.

Pinchy: PINCHY MAD!!!

THE MAN towers over Pinchy and laughs cruelly. He knocks over a large building which narrowly misses Pinchy. Pichy simply pinches THE MAN's middle toe and the gargantuan giant falls over, startin a big eathquake. The entir city begins tocrumble.

BSD: NO!!! HOw di you THE MAN's midle toe was his weak point?!!!

Pinchy leaps at BSD as the 7.6 earthquake continues to level the city.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Episode 33: The Evilish plan AND how Lupus met Koopa by Introbulus

(Meanwhile, with Lupus...)

Lupus: Now to begin gathering forces to destroy my future enemy before it exists, even though it contradicts the idea of destiny! For starters, I'll put out fliers!

(Later, at Bowser's Keep/Castle/Whatever)

Bowser: Koopa! This is the 39 1/3 time you've failed to live up to your duties!

Koopa I: Actually sir, it's 39 1/2.

Bowser: GRAHHH!!! Koopa, you're fired!

Koopa: Did you just call me a LIAR!?!

Bowser: No, I said "you're fired".

Koopa: Oh. Well then, I guess I need a new job!

Bowser: Oh, by the way, I found this flier posted under my foot, here, take it!

(Bowser stomps on Koopa)

Koopa: Ow! Hey, what's this? "Looking to become a member of the greatest army in the Universe? Or did you just get fired by your last boss? Either way, stop by Lupus's evil Mountian Lair of Cliche'd Doom if you need a job! Who knows? You might even become my #1 assistant!" Hmmm...

(A few days later...)

Koopa: Would you like fries with that?

Customer: Ahhh! A talking turtle! (Runs away)

Koopa: (Sigh), this job isn't any fun. Maybe I should try Lupus's Evil Mountian Lair of Cliche'd Doom.

(Later, at the Mountian Lair of Cliche'd Doom)

Lupus: NO soliders? How could you let this happen? You're my commanding officer!

Bag of Flour: Don't look at me! I'm an inanimate object!

Lupus: Well now you're being demoted to "Lowely solider"!

Bag of Flour: Well you need a Commanding officer, and they don't just barge in through the front door looking for a job!

Koopa (Barging in through the front door): I'm looking for a job!

Lupus: Quiet you! I'm firing my commanding officer!

Koopa: Really? Then maybe I can take the job!

Lupus: You!?! What redeeming qualities do YOU have?

Koopa: Well, I always say "yes" and work for very little cash!

Lupus: You're hired! Now, what's our diabolical plot to kill Yami Yoshi?

Koopa: Er...how about we just go to his home and kill him?

Lupus: ...Brilliant! I would never have thought of that! Koopa, ready the troop!

Koopa: You mean "troops"?

Lupus: No, I mean this Bag of Flour, it's our only troop.

Bag of Flour: Ten-hut!

Koopa: Hmmm, maybe we should get an army of darkness if this doesn't work out, oh well, life gives you lemons, sell 'em at the market!

Lupus: Then it's decided! We'll kill Yami Yoshi at his house! You go do that while I stay here and laugh meniachally.

Koopa: ME!?! But Yoshi's eat Koopas alive, literally!

Lupus: Well that's your problem then, isn't it?

Koopa: Well I quit!

Lupus: You can't quit! Your contract doesn't allow it!

Koopa: I never signed a contract!

Bag of Flour: Verbal contracts are binding.

Lupus: Plus, I recorded your saying you signed a contract!

(Click!)

Recording: I...signed a contract!

Koopa: Damn! You're logic is flawless!

Lupus: Yeah I know, now GO!

Koopa: Yes sir! Come with me, Bag of Flour!

Lupus: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHOHOHHOHOHEHEHEHEHEHWHOWHOWHOWHOet c.!

Episode 34: Invasion Preparation by GORE-ILLA

(Koopa and the Bag of Flour walk through town confused, passing many large signs saying, "THIS WAY TO YAMI YOSHI's HOUSE.)

Koopa: This guy is harder to find then we think!

Bag of Flour: (resting on a sign pointing to Yami Yoshi's house.) This could take some time....

*Several weeks pass. Koopa grows an aphro and accidentally eatsthe Bag of Flour. The events of Episodes 6-32 take place.*

Lupus: So, is Yami yoshi dead?

Koopa: That was a while ago, sir. Remember, I couldn't find him and ate Flour and you decided to focus on the Gorilla Army now that TWIFATIT has sent you reinforcements.

Lupus: Ah yes, you're correct-o!

Correct-O: You called?

*Not too long after that, Lupus watches as his troops board hundreds of troop carriers and Twif-Tech jets zoom across. He speaks with Kamek and Lemonjello on seperate viewscreens.*

Kamek: Good job Lupus. Weisheit will be proud.

LJ: Yes, we are busy here in Tokyo working on our EVIL Tower of Rulation and spying on Miyamoto. i ssuspect he's onto something.

Lupus: Yes, we may have to interfere with his life and adventures. But first I must assemble a gorilla army to help me CONQUOR THE WORLD!!! I shall go to the colony with my troops to make sure no one messes up - or touches my brownies!

Kamek: I understand. Sir Kamek Out! (Screen fades away.)

LJ: Sir setzer out! (Screen fades away.)

Lupus: Koopa I, come with me to the space colony. And Bag of Flour II, watch the base while we're gone!

Bag of Flour: (salutes.)

(Lupus, Koopa, and Lupus's Elite Guard board the head troop carrier. It takes off, followed by the other troop carriers, which begin to ascend towards the space colony as the jets follow closely.)

*Elsewhere, in Japan...*

Episode 35: Sleepy Time by Golem

~China...~

Moondo: Hey, hey, hey! Didn't forget about me, did you?!

~Pinchy, The Man, and BSD look aside to Moondo, and then go back to fighting.~

Moondo: Hmph... these extra strength sleepy time darts ought to work...

~While the three fighters ignore Moondo, he gets three clear shots at them, done right after the other so that they do not have time to notice. They begin to slump, then go into full-on slumber.~

Miele: ~appears~ We urge that you use these on those three. ~takes out three syringes, hands them to Moondo, disappears~

Moondo: The Council's never done that before... must be serious. ~looks about~ Well, I guess I have no choice... ~begins injections; one syringe per fighter~

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