Story:MMEDDP3 Chapter 6
| Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik 3: Very Foreign Policy |
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Ditto McCloaker[edit]
quote:
Ditto... you WILL get AIM, understand? GOOD BOY. Vorpal, Sapphire and I are on it, what's not to like?
Vorpal, Saph, and you are on it.
Kidding. Sort of. I'll get it eventually, but try to see things from my point of view. If I finished downloading AIM right now, I wouldn't be procrastinating. You can see the bind I'm in.
What's so important that you can't tell me here? I got E-Mail (Vorpal never checks his, apparently)
Also... Reading that last post of mine... I hope it didn't seem like I was... y'know, hitting on... yike.
Saph. I was asking your opinion of being First Lady. It wasn't what it might have sounded like, okay?
Masamune[edit]
Well, it's not that we have important stuff to say. But we can share ideas... Example- The SMBA fiasco that every SMBA writer now hates you eternally for COULD of been avoided if we had shared ideas on AIM.
Umm... yeah... I'll wait for someone else to add something here.
Vorpal[edit]
I check my e-mail once a month, cause all I get is this trash porn stuff that I gotta delete. And I hate deleting 20 every day. The best way to contact me would be through AIM. And now your President shall type!
Ditto: *in limosine* I feel like a fraud. I took Vorpal's position, and now I'm talking as if I don't even want Vorpal to come back.
Ditto: *on TV* I wonder how the Vice Presidents of the past would've acted if they were in my position. I want the Presidency badly.
Insane: Hmm, it seems your friends don't really want you.
Vorpal: *sniff* Maybe I made a mistake...
Unknown to Vorpal. He's being video taped for the show.
Ditto casaually looks over at a TV shop, where all the channels show Vorpal on them.
Ditto: Stop!
Ditto jumps out and looks at the many screens.
Vorpal: I know I made a lot of mistakes, and I guess I didn't treat Ditto and Sapphire with the respect they diserved. I really couldn't have done it without them. Heh, I remember Ditto and his Kiki's Delivery Service...
Ditto: *sighs*
Sapphire finds a protable TV, and decides to watch CNN.
Vorpal: *on TV* And I remeber Saph, and her beautiful red outfit...
Saph: Vorpal!
Vorpal: I took the Presidency for granted, I did what I wanted, and I didn't do anything for the people. It was all about me, and that's not what it should be. The people voted for me, and I've gotta be THEIR President, and not my President.
Ditto: *teary eyed* I think he's got it!
The screen fades out and shows Sapphire watching the TV in the White House.
Ditto: Sapphire?!?!
Sapphire: Me!?!?!?
Masamune[edit]
~Meanwhile...~
Masa: *sniff* That was beautiful...
Mura: *glares* We don't have time for this. Our plans will be complete soon...
Masa: *frowns* Well... Same has laready stirred up plenty of rumors. With one challenge, Ditto would be literally blown away with all the things against him now.
Mura: *nods* And his new VP will be just the one to do it...
Masa: What about Vorpal? The show hinted his return...
Mura: Nonsense. I have already ARRANGED what will happen for him...
~Meanwhile~
Luigi: *huff, huff* *pulls out cell phone and dials* C'mon... answer it, answer it...
*click*
Luigi: Ditto!
Ditto: (On phone) *sigh* Who is it?
Luigi: Ya gotta help, I'm wanted for-
Ditto: ... YOU! You tried to do in McCain! Stay where you are, I'm sending the police after you!
Luigi: NO!!! *hangs up* I gotta find someplace to go... but where...
~In other places...~
Sodarn: Well Vorpal... *puts hand on his shoulder* Ya made me rich with such a show.
Vorpal: I'm kinda proud to.
Sodarn: I'll be sending you back now. With thism oney I'll get some nukes and we can fight eachother later.
Vorpal: Uh huh...
Sodarn: And if we run out of nukes, we'll do a sequel!
Vorpal: Eeee...
*Vorpal is escorted outside to a plane where MagiKoopa sits outside of*
MagiKoopa: There ya are!
Vorpal: I'm going home!
*the two board the plane. To the suprise of the guards and the twosome, the doors are slammed locked.*
Vorpal: What's going on here!?
???: YOU ARE PRISONERS.
??2: Sssso enjoy the ride... hehehehe....
Vorpal: Snipes and Krunk... JUST wonderful...
Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Luigi: I'm dead as dead can be! Wait...... I'm on a plane. Planes have parachutes...... I can jump out to freedom! Nobody'll chase me once I'm in Saudi Arabia!
*Luigi turns and grabs a parachute from a nearby hook. He turns to the door and opens it (sucking several other materials out in the process....) and peers out.*
Luigi: What?! Why is that ocean there?!
*Fed #1 enters.*
Fed #1: It has to do with the curvature of the earth.........
Luigi: Oh yeah.....
*Fed #1 lunges at LOTP, but the overall-ed culprit slips and falls out the door, taking Fed #1 with him.*
LOTP & Fed #1:WWWWWWEEEEEE'RRRRREEEEEE GGGGGOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA DDDDDIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
Something's gumming up the plumbing
Poor Luigi's in a bind,
Assassins out to get him
With the Feds all close behind
It's no game, pass the blame,
He's falling from the plane-
Luigi: *falling* Diiittooo where aaaare you?!*
Luigi Pipes: My life is flashing before my eyes!
His Life: This Life has been approved for all audiences. And now, previews of coming attractions!
Luigi: D'oh! Stupid advertisements! I haven't got time for this! Hey... Wait! I've got a parachute!
*pulls the rip cord*
FLOOOOOF!
*Luigi of the Pipes and the Fed begin falling more slowly*
Luigi: Hey, now, that's more like it. How's things down there Fed?
Fed: *clinging to his leg* Can't say I haven't been better.
Luigi: What a grouch. Oh, well. I'll just get back to watching my life. *waits* AWWWW! I missed it!
Fed: Well, considering we've got a frozen ocean beneath us, and no boat, you may get a second chance before too long.
Luigi: Oh goody! I can't wait!
*they fall for a while*
Fed: So, why'd you do it?
Luigi: Do what?
Fed: You know... turn evil and all that.
Luigi: Oh, that. I didn't, actually.
Fed: Come ooon, really, you can tell me.
Luigi: No, really! I was framed.
Fed: You mean, we're here, about to die, and you're REALLY innocent?!
Luigi: That's what I tried to tell everyone. Sucks, don't it?
Fed: Man, I'd hate to in your shoes.
Luigi: They're really uncomfortable. Could you tie them?
Fed: Yeah, sure, buddy. I'll just-- HEY!!!
Luigi: Oh, yeah. The 'you hanging from my legs for dear life' thing. I keep forgetting.
*they look down. They still have a long ways to go*
Luigi: Man, this is taking forever. Can't this thing go any faster?
Fed: *Sigh* Why don't you tell me how it all happened?
~Meanwhile, back at the White House...~
Ditto: *slams open the front door* SAPH!
Saph: *runs down the stairs* Ditto!
Ditto: DID YOU SEE?!
Saph: I SAW!!
Ditto: Something MUST be done! Where's Johnny?
Flutter: He's still missing.
Ditto: I'll need his help... but how can we find him?
Voice: Perhaps... I can be of service?
~they all turn to see... Russell Feingold! (who also shall receive no nickname out of respect)**~
Ditto: Senator Feingold!
Sapphire: Feingold... where have I heard of that?
Ditto: Feingold... as in "McCain-Feingold..." As in "McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Reform Bill!"
Feingold: Indeed. I can contact McCain through telepathy.
Sapphire: How can he do that?
Ditto: Russell Feingold and John McCain agree on so many issues that they have come to share the same mind.
Feingold: Hey, John, ya there? *tilts his head left and speaks in McCain's voice* Yeah, Russ, I'm here. *changes back* How ya doin? *McCain* Oh, I'm fine. *Feingold* Can you tell me where you are? *McCain* Sure, Russ! I'll give ya directions!
Saph: O.o
Ditto: Follow them! Er, him. Er, whatever.
~begin dramatic chase music~
*They hop in the Presidential limo, with Feingold at the wheel*
Feingold: Okay, John. Which way? *tilts head and speaks in McCain's voice* Left! Left! *back to normal* Okay!
~They turn left~
Feingold: *turns again* Hurry, I'm gettin' antsy. *back* Don't worry, John. We're on our way!
Ditto: Well, things are soon going to be back to normal!
Sapphire: Tell that to "Me, Myself and John McCain" over there.
Footnotes:
*-This song is based on a 'Mario Bros.' commercial from the early 1980's.
**-Also because I can't think of one.
[ April 21, 2001: Message edited by: Wagolem ]
Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Luigi: Okay, it all started fifteen years ago in the Forest of Illusion..
Fed #1: Heard it.
Luigi: Huh? When did I tell you my life story?
Fed #1: About seventeen times on the plane...
Luigi: Oh yeah...... I'll skip to last week.
Fed #1: Please do.
Luigi: Well, I walked into the White House, and was going to get my security tapes because some mysterious voice was telling me that McCain could help us find Vorpal.
Fed #1: Why do that? John was in connection range last week.
Luigi: Yeah, but then the voice told me that it wasn't the real McCoy...... errrr...... McCain. So I was gonna investigate. On the way, I ran into John, the REAL John, and after a brief talk, I went to visit Slort instead.........
Fed #1: How responsible.......
Luigi: Yeah yeah..... and then I recruited you guys for the trip to China, completely forgetting about the tapes.
Fed #1: I see..... well, I'd help you clear your name and all, but I'm just a measly Secret Serviceman you made a Fed.
*Luigi looks at the Fed's face again.*
Luigi: That's where I knew you from! You were the Secret Serviceguy from when I first came here! The one that chased me across the lawn with his nightstick!
Fed #1: *sweatdrop* No I'm not......
Luigi: Oh, okay. Guess we'll just keep falling then.
Oh, and look, my life is coming back......
Sapphire[edit]
*back in the limo*
Sapphire: Besides, what do you have in mind that you need Jon McCain's help? For all we know he could simply be waking up every day asking if you're dead.
Ditto: Have more faith in him. er.. How much further, Mr. Feingold?
Feingold: *tilts head* Not far. *tilts back* We should arrive at his whereabouts shortly.
Sapphire: Wait, didn't we leave him teaching at that college where we picked up Algore?
oops. ran out of time.
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
Ditto: Yeah, well, not everyone can keep the plot straight.
Sapphire: Such a shame.
Ditto: Indeed. Incidentally, I wonder how the students came out...
~At the College...~
*the Professor for the next class walks in, whistling to himself. He looks up from his notes to see shards of furniture lying around all the students huddled up in a corner*
Student 1: Don't let him come back... don't let him come back...
Student 2: *mutters incoherently to himself*
Professor: Wow. We gotta get that guy to sub more often.
~Back in the Limo~
Sapphire: But, why do you need that fierce old guy anyway? He's just some white-haired geezer with a turkey-neck. He's not even that tall.
Ditto: *mutters to himself* No taller than me... *out loud* Anyway, he's had experience in geting POW's out of foreign countries. I'll need his help to rally support in Congress to help Vorpal. I got this feeling they're not gonna let him go so easily.
...Besides... McCain's been a loyal assistant to his country for years. It's time for his country to pay him back the debt we've owed him for three decades...
Feingold: We're here!
| Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik 3: Very Foreign Policy |
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