Story:MMEDDP3 Chapter 11

Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik 3: Very Foreign Policy

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12

Vorpal

ugh . . . I lost it guys, I'm confused *is remembering how he did this every other post MMEDDP1*

Luigi of the Pipes

Ditto and McCain are stuck in Japan, because airlines are out. Saph tried to escape Japan via warp pipe, and ended up in Kabul instead, where she got kidnapped.

Masa and Mura are trapped in the rubble of their WGC.

Dodo, PWD, Koko, and Parakarry are pretty much your advisors for the time being.

Koopa's going to embezzle from the treasury to get a GCN.

And, of course, I'm stuck in the hospital watching old Inspector Gadget tapes.

*Looks to see if he missed anything...*

Ditto McCloaker

Arab Militant: *running through the crowd* She is a woman who is not showing proper deference to men! She is not covering up all her skin! Stone her!

Saph: Um, no thanks. I don't do that stuff.

AM2: Um, no, you do not understand. We're going to publicly execute you by means of pelting you with blunt rocks and debris.

Saph: *thinks* OOOH. Sorry. You'll have to forgive me. I'm from New York. There, that has a totally different meaning. ^_~

AM2: Eh, no problem. We understand completely. I was just there in New York, actually.

Saph: Oh?

AM2: *flips hand* Oh, yeth indeed. I wath at Macy's for that last Christmas sale in '99. Oh, let me tell you, that was heavenly!

Saph: Oh, I know. They always go all out.

AM2: And those robes they had! Trey chic, am I right or am I right, girlfriend?

Arab Militant: Um, guys?

*they look at him*

AM: Can we?

AM 2: Oh, right. *turns to Saph* Sorry, dear. Rules and regulations, you know.

Saph: *shrugs*

AM: Okay. Now, we've decided... We're not going to stone you, though you are an affrontery to our extremist, fanatical, highly-irrational movement.

Saph: You're not?

AM: We're funny that way.

Saph: I see.

AM: Since you are the first lady of the United States, we are going to hold you prisoner and use you as a means of bargaining to stop the bombing. Mwa ha ha! That foolish President and his life-valuing ways will be his downfall! Mwa ha ha!

*planes fly overhead*

AM: Okay, we got the TV camera ready?

Saph: Um, isn't it odd that a group of fundamentalist fanatics would see fit to make use of modern communications technology?

AM: What do you think we are, barbarians?

Another Arab Militant: Hurry up with that camera. We still have to finish filming this week's episode of "Habib's Head."

AM: Oh, all right, all right. *into camera* Evil American dogs! We have your first lady, and if you do not cease your cruel and unfair retaliation against us, we will not hesitate to ki-

*A bomb is dropped from overhead, blowing up a nearby building*

AM: Um... well, okay. If you do that AGAIN, we will not hesitate to ki-

*another bomb is dropped, decimating another building*

AM: Eer... We are not joking! We will not hes-

*BOOOM!*

Another AM: Hey! It is the Northern Alliance! They are coming down from the hills and invading Kabul, with the aid of the Americans! Run! Run!

AM: *talking quickly into camera* Wewillcontinuethisconverstatonlatergottagobye.

Arab Announcer: Due to technical difficulties, this maniacal threat will not be seen tonight. In it's place, we bring you the movie "10 Days in Iraq," starring Ammoud Al-Azar, and Ishma-

~Gets blown up~

AM: We must head to the mountains! Once we are safe, we will continue taping our ultimatum to the Americans! Bring the girl!

AM3: You must wear these traditional robes and veil, and bow in the presence of men, and-

Saph: Yeah, right.

AM 2: Oh, I agree, those colors are so last season, but honey, you really should. The sand storms out there? They are so bad for the skin.

~Meanwhile~

McCain: *coming into the Presidential Suite, where Ditto is* Ah, Ditto. You're back. I just got through a tedious 3 hour meeting with the Japanese consulate committe, and I think they're going to be a hard sell.

Ditto: No, they won't. I met with Junichiro. We made an arrangement. I agree with everything he proposes.

McCain: Are you sure that's a good idea?

Ditto: *playing Gamecube on the floor* Let's just say I peered into his soul.

Luigi of the Pipes

Luigi: Well, that's it. *turns off TV* Rebe: Good, now for the REAL lesson.

Luigi: *Groaaaaaaannnnn.....*

Rebe: Shut up and listen. It's for your own good.

Luigi: Yes ma'am...

Rebe: Stop that.

Luigi: Okay, go ahead.

Rebe: Being composed primarily of mechanics is not as easy as you're thinking. You get no respect... *whimper*

Luigi: Hey! I respected you!

Rebe: You can't cry.

Luigi: I won't.

Rebe: Even if they stomp your foot?

Luigi: Oh for the lovva... I'm older than that!

Rebe: Yes, just giving an example.

Luigi: Uh huhhh...

Rebe: Other than that, I can't tell you anything. I didn't have all those gizmos...

Luigi: I know. *rips IV needle from his arm*

Rebe: Umm.. should you be doing that?

Luigi: Probably not. Now let's go before they catch me!

*Luigi and Rebe sneak out.*

Sapphire

Koko: Are you sure that bombing them is a good idea?

Vorpal: It's called vengence.

Koko: Ah.

*phone rings*

Vorpal: Yellow.

Flutter: What was it you wanted me to do again?

Vorpal: Are you overseas?

Flutter: No...

Vorpal: ..You will be soon. But first, we'll have to talk with the person in charge of the new war productions. We'll need someone who has proven to be adept in science and has the latest technologies.

Flutter: But who is that?

Vorpal: *thinks* I know. Get me...Tipper Gore.

Flutter: Are you sure?

Vorpal: Positive. She's the only one I could think of for this situation. With an army of gore-bots, we wouldn't need to waste man power.

Flutter: ..Good point!

Vorpal: I expect that to be done immediately. Thank you. *Hangs up* Now, what have the rest of you been doing?

Dodo: ..I have been giving protional speeches against terroism and how we can use educa--

Vorpal: Good. Yoshiman?

Yoshiman: I thought you needed me in the war industries board...

Vorpal: Oh, right. You will find the lab to be useful. You and your personalities can set up there.

Yoshiman: I'm on it! *leaves*

Vorpal: *thinking* With Tipper and Yoshiman working overtime, there's no way we can lose! I think I'm handling this just fine...

Vorpal: I think I'll go play Super Mario World...

Dodo: You have a meeting in five minutes.

Vorpal: D'oh! Whatever.

Koko: It's important. You're meeting with important World Leaders.

Vorpal: Great. A bunch of old folk who can't take us young people seriously.

Dodo: I'm sure they will....

Luigi of the Pipes

*Ditto and McCain enter an apartment and flop down on the furniture.*

Ditto: That was a good day of goodwill touring.

McCain: At this rate, you'll have the military support of the Japanese, something our beloved country has tried for since the containment policies implemented in the Cold War.

Ditto: Yep. I've got a way with people... But that means I gotta rest up for tomorrow's touring if I hope to keep them in our grasp.

*Ditto covers his face with a pillow and starts to doze off. Before he can, the phone rings.*

McCain: I'll just...

Ditto: Nah, let the machine get it.

*The phone continues ringing, until the answering machine clicks on.*

Luigi: Ditto? Ditto, it's Luigi. Pick up!

Ditto: Zzzzz...

McCain: Uh... Ditto? *shakes Ditto*

Ditto: Huh? What? Something the matter Joh...

Luigi: Ditto! Pick up! You don't know how hard I worked to find this number!

Ditto: Sigh... *picks up the phone* What's the matter?

Luigi: I'm supposed to be giving a speech to the press, but I don't know what to say.

Ditto: Just wing it, like everybody else.

Luigi: I don't have wings! Although, I do have...

Ditto: Look Luigi. I'm not gonna spoon-feed words into your mouth. You'll just have to pull it off yourself.

Luigi: But... but... *sniffle sniffle* I can't do this without my legal guardian, man!

Ditto: *ignoring* You should've been expecting it anyway. The CIA always gets first attention when something like this...

Luigi: I was under a building. You do realize that it's rather hard to think when you're in such a position...

Ditto: Ah, that's right. I heard. Glad to see you pulled through... somehow... Uh, how?

Luigi: They turned me into a robot.

Ditto: Excuse?

Luigi: Inspector Gadget style.

Ditto: Ooh, have fun. Now, if you don't mind...

Luigi: But my...! *click* D'oh!

*Luigi pulls away from the phone to peek out at the gathering crowd waiting for his speech. A grand total of ten people...*

Luigi: I'm in BIIIIIG trouble...

—

Ditto: Finally. Now I can re...

*The phone rings again.*

Ditto: ...lax...

McCain: Should I pi...?

Ditto: Let the machine get it.

*The phone continues to ring until the answering machine picks up again.*

Flutter: Hello? Yes, get me Mr. McCloaker on the... hey! Don't speak when you're being spoken too!

Ditto: Sigh... *sadly picks up phone* Whadda ya want?

Flutter: Vorpal was going to call you, but he got preoccupied with picking out tapes or something and told me to.

Ditto: Shoot then.

Flutter: You know we're bombing Afghanistan?

Ditto: Yeub. It was on the news.

Flutter: You know Luigi is the new ‘one-man army' against terrorism?

Ditto: I assumed with the whole Gadget outfit thing...

Flutter: You know we haven't heard from either Masamune or Murasame lately?

Ditto: Well, you know those two. They're always gone off scheming something.

Flutter: You know Saph never showed up back here?

Ditto: I think Vorp mentioned it on our last call.

Flutter: Is this phone line secure?

Ditto: Hmm... just a sec. *covers phone* Hey John! Is this phone line secure?

*McCain rubs his hands over the phone cable and presses it to his ear for a sec.*

McCain: As secure as secure can get.

Ditto: *into phone* Yes.

Flutter: We think Saph's in Kabul.

Ditto: WHAT?!?! How do you figure this?!

Flutter: Besides scanning over our satellite pictures, we saw a glimpse of her hair in that last broadcast by those terrorists.

Ditto: And since Middle Eastern women aren't allowed to show any part of their person in public, that crosses out the idea that it was someone else with the same color and hairdo.

Flutter: Exactly.

Ditto: Hmm... well, make sure someone gets her out of there, if she doesn't get out herself.

Flutter: Yeah... but... you do realize that we're bombing in that general area, don't you?

Ditto's Brain: (Tell them to call it off man!)

Ditto's Conscience: (Nay, for Vorpal is a big boy now. He can call the shots just fine.)

Ditto: *gulp* Acknowledged...

Flutter: Okay, just wanted to give you the what for and all. Sayonara!

Ditto: What for...? *click* Ah never mind. *collapses back onto the couch* Just... let the machine... get it...

*The phone begins to ring again.*

McCain: I'm not sure whether I'm more impressed by your intuition or the fact that we've gotten three calls within ten seconds of each other.

Ditto: Zzzzz...

*The answering machine clicks.*

Saph: Ditto! It's Saph!

Ditto: *bolts awake* Huh?! *grabs phone* Saph! How...?

Saph: They let me have a ‘free' phone call, since I helped them reorganize their wardrobes.

Ditto: Wha...?

Saph: Never mind. We've got thirty seconds to talk.

Terrorist Voice in Background: Thirty second? We give her full minute!

Other Terrorist Voice in Background: She try trick us so we not have time to trace destination of phone call and find McCloaker locatio... hey! Put phone back on ear, woman!

Saph: See what I mean?

Ditto: Got'cha. So... how's it like?

Saph: Terrible! The food is so... so... dry!

Ditto: I mean being captured by terrorists in a place that's being ravaged by bomb strikes.

*An explosion sounds.*

Saph: Those were bombs?

*Another explosion.*

Ditto: Uh... yeah?

*Yet another explosion.*

Saph: I was just kidding, sheesh. Look, I can't talk any longer Ditto. Just make sure someone comes to get me outta h... *click*

Ditto: Saph? Saph?! Grr...

McCain: That's a pity.

Ditto: I know! She never answered my question...

*McCain glares at Ditto.*

Ditto: Oh, and it's bad that the terrorists are trying to find out where we are too...

*McCain continues his glare.*

Ditto: AND the fact that they've got Saph as hostage.

McCain: That's more the tune of it, sailor.

Ditto: But then, we can't do anything from here except continue the tours.

McCain: True...

Ditto: And besides, Saph is a pretty independent lady. She won't even NEED someone to save her, I'll bet you that.

McCain: True again.

Ditto: So can I get some sleep now?

McCain: Go for it soldier. You'll need all the shut-eye you can get.

Ditto: Thanks. Oh, and...

McCain: I know, let the machine get it...

Ditto: Heh, yeah. Thanks.

*Ditto leaves for one of the bedrooms. Once he's left, the phone rings. McCain tenses, then picks it up.*

McCain: Hello?

Voice: Johnny? What are you doing?

McCain: Eh, George Voinovich? Hey, what are YOU doing?

Voinovich: No, what are YOU doing?!

McCain: What are YOU doing?!

*Ditto walks out.*

Ditto: Oh, for the lovva...

McCain: *whispering into phone* It's Ditto. *to Ditto* Hey, pick up the cordless!

Ditto: Hmm...?

Voinovich: Ditto?

Ditto: George?

Voinovich: What are YOU doing?!

Ditto: No, what are YOU doing?

McCain: What are you both doing?

Voinovich: Whaaaaa.....

McCain: Whaaaaa....

Ditto: Whaaaaa.... oh, the heck with it. I'm going back to bed.

*Ditto snaps the phone shut and walks back out.*

Ditto McCloaker

~Meanwhile... in another part of the country~

Tipper: Okay, Honey. It's morning! Time to get dressed for your first day of work! You don't want to be late!

Algore: *head on pillow on bed* Yes, dear.

*Algore's head rolls over, and it crawls off the bed on tiny robot legs. Smiling like a good wife, Tipper stands next to his suit... with a robot body in it*

Algore: Could you give me a hand, with my suit, dear?

Tipper: Of course, dear. *she picks up the head and sets it backward on the shoulders. Algore's arms reach up and twist it frontwards into place*

Algore: Thank you, dear. *kisses her on the lips. Sparks fly... literally*

Tipper: OOOoooh! You make my heart go pitter-patter!

Algore: That must be the automatic fibilator you put in me.

Tipper: Must be, dear. *straightens his tie* Now, have a nice day at your new consulting job at Metropolitan West Financial Consulting! And don't forget your mission! ^_^

Algore: Yes, dear. Observe the people and learn about them so that I can relate to them.

Tipper: Excellent! That way, you'll be in a prime position to sweep the next Presidential election!

Algore: Yes, dear. Optimal outcome: Electoral success. *eyes glow for a second, then turns toward the door*

Tipper: Won't you need your briefcase, dear?

Algore: No, dear. Last night, I couldn't shut down, so I committed all of it's contents to memory. I can print out anything I need at a moment's notice.

Tipper: Oh, Al, you're such a man! *squeals like a schoolgirl*

Algore: Yes dear. *goes out door and walks down street*

~His eyes scan left and right, recording data on people on the street around him. He sees a man playing ball with his son in one yard. In another, he sees several young girls having a tea party. He raises an eyebrow and then hails a taxi to the office~

*At the office...*

CEO: *walking up to meet Gore* Ah, Mr. Gore. Welcome, welcome to our company. We're glad to have you aboard. We're looking forward to working with you.

Algore: I am looking forward to working with you as well. I am eager to learn more about business as an active executive.

*continues shaking hand, during awkward pause*

CEO: *pulling hand away finally* Er, yes. Good. Glad to hear it. Now, what ideas do you have?

Algore: Well, I was thinking that we might make a profit by beginning to extend low-interest private-equpity loans to the biotechnology and informational technologies industries and expand operations oversees.

CEO: Very impressive, Mr. Gore. I can not wait to hear more of your ideas.

*at that moment, a child runs by, giggling*

Algore: ?

CEO: Oh, don't mind them. They're all over. Today is 'Bring Your Children to Work Day' today. *sigh*

*Algore watches as the child runs into an office and is picked up by a beaming young man in white shirt and tie*

CEO: Hollins. I do believe you had some regional financial reports due this afternoon. I recommend you stop wasting time and complete them.

Man: *holding child* Yessir. Now, Gloria, you sit down there and be a good girl, now, you hear? *kisses her on cheek and rubs her nose with his, and she politely sits down in a chair. A tear rolls down Algore's cheek*

~Meanwhile...~

*Ditto and McCain are now aboard Air Force One, delivered to them to fly around in. They have left Japan and are about to make another landing...*

Ditto: Well, that diplomatic tour went well. Now, to mollify Russia.

McCain: How do you intend to do that?

Ditto: I'm not sure. If only there was some way to connect with President Pootin' and win his trust... if only we had some secret weapon...

*a man comes out of the bathroom of Air Force One wearing a cowboy hat and pajamas and brushing his teeth*

Dubya: Mornin' ever'body! How are you this blesset day?

McCain and Ditto: Dubya?! What are you doing here?

Dubya: Hm? Well, soon as I heard about those attacks, I figured... it'd be best if I got aboard Air Force One, to elude the terrorists.

Ditto: But, why?

Dubya: Heh, well that's obvious! Naturally, they're going to want to come after the President!

McCain: Dubya, we've been trying to tell you, you didn't wi-

Dubya: Hey, is this Russia down there? Ooh. I wanna see!

*the hatch opens and Dubya goes running out*

Dubya: Hey, everybody! I'm here! *wavies excitedly*

*at that moment, a car drives up, and out steps a short man flanked by guards*

Guard: Announcing... the President of Russia, Vladimir Putin!

Dubya: *running forward* Hey! Hi! It's me! George Dubya Bush!

Ditto: Uh oh...! Dubya! Don't go running toward him like that!

McCain: He's going to get himself killed!

*the guards aim their guns at the oncoming Dubya, until...*

Voice: Stop!

*suddenly, in a flurry of Judo chops, kicks, and knockout touches, all the guards are knocked out from within by a tiny form*

Pootin: I said, hold your fire! Next time your President says something, you will listen!

*Pootin steps out, brushing his hands*

Dubya: *stopping* Oooh... Hey! You're short!

Pootin: Yes. Yes I am diminutive.

Dubya: Hi, Dimitri! My name is George Dubya Bush! *extends hand and turns back to Ditto and McCain* (Heh. I always thought his name was Vladimir.)

Ditto and McCain: *smack their faces*

Dubya: Wow. That was cool, knockin' em all out like that! Where'd you learn to do that?

Pootin': I learned it from my days in the Russian KGB. I know several forms of self-defense.

Dubya: I can rope a cow!

Pootin': Really? This, I would like to see.

Dubya: Got any cows?

Pootin: No, but I have bears.

Dubya: ...Oh. Well, same thing.

Pootin: Those are nice pajamas. Wanna see mine?

Dubya: Sure!

Pootin: C'mon, Comrade! My room is up on the top floor. It's got a really cool view!

Dubya: Heck yeah! I'd love to!

*they run in, leaving Ditto and McCain exchanging glances*

Ditto: *sudden smile* ...Problem solved.

~Back in the States~

*Algore comes home from his first day at work*

Tipper: Well, dear, how was your first day? Learn anything interesting?

Algore: Yes. I want to learn more about families. *plays back all the family images in his head*

Sapphire

Tipper: Families, eh? Interesting.

Algore: And what about you? Weren't you working on something Top Secret for Vorpal?

Tipper: Strangely enough, yes. He will either be sending over his representatives or coming himself depending on how the conference is going. It is too bad that we didn't succeed, but we must always prepare for 2004...!

Algore: Right.

Tipper: Of course, we can't tell Bill and Hellary about our plans yet. Now, was there anything else you wanted to tell me...?

Algore: About families...?

Tipper: *waits patiently*

Algore: Well...

~ meanwhile ~

*in the white house*

Vorpal: *bangs head on desk* I now call this meeting to order.

*crickets chirp*

Vorpal: ....Hey, where is everyone?

Dodo: Are you sure you got the meeting place right?

*In camp david*

World Leaders: So where's Vorpal?

Koko: Um...

Flutter: D'oh! Did anyone tell him that the place was changed for security measures?

Koko: I guess not...

Flutter: Since I'm secretary of defense, I suppose I'll have to hold down the fort for now.

Koko: Oh dear...

Flutter: You'll have to cover for me. A representative is supposed to go to The Gore Mansion about the Top Secret...er, you know.

Koko: What is it?

Flutter: It's a secret. Take some SS men with you.

Koko: O.o

~ meanwhile with Luigi ~

Luigi: *finishing up* And now, you are looking at the brand new Luigi. *shows off a few of his gadgets*

Audience: Ooh! *all write in their notepads and leave*

Luigi: *wipes brow* Thank god that's over.

Rebe: It wasn't too hard winging it, now was it?

Luigi: Let's hope no one else comes over. *peers over his shoulder*

Rebe: What now?

Luigi: Back to the White House? I'm so behind on the facts.

Rebe: Sure.

~ In Yoshiman's Lab ~

Yoshiman: Mr. Predict, hand me those top secret plans.

Mr. Predict: Ay.

Yoshiman: Don't overdue it. --0

Mr. Predict: Pardon. All this has given me a terrible migrane. Even I could not withstand the strain that this had put on me.

Yoshiman: Well, if you had been in any condition to tell us about the prediction, we wouldn't be here now.

Mr. Predict: Next time, don't forget my aspirin.

Yoshiman: *sigh* Fine. I'll make a note of it. Now...let's see. How are we going to asemble this? We are supposed to be preparing for mass production.

Mr. Predict: Just for the love of god don't let Fuzzball near this stuff...

~ in Air Force One ~

McCain: Where to next?

Ditto: *gulp* Uh, Mexico.

McCain: Couldn't we finish in this hemisphere first?

Ditto: You want to deal with Anne Robinson, Jiang Zamin, and Soddarn Insane??

McCain: Ouch. Almost forgot that.

Masamune

Since we seem to be on this world leader visit campaign in the story, I figured a World Leaders list may be useful for others (like me) who pay little attention to world politics.

Vorpal

McCain: Wait did you say Mexico?

Ditto: Yeah? Why?

McCain: Do you know who the leader of Mexico is?

Ditto: Yeah, it's Fox . . . D'oh! It's Dubya, ain't it? One of those plot twists from MMEDDP2 I seemed to have forgotten.

McCain: So we got Mexico covered.

Ditto: Hmm, so I guess we head for Canada.

---

Vorpal: Hmm, so what do I do?

Dodo: Well, we could try calling Flutter on his cell phone.

Vorpal: Cell . . . phone . . .? What is this cell phone you speak of?

Dodo: *sigh* it's a portable phone! See you got one *pulls a cell phone out of Vorpal's pocket*

Vorpal: Oh, that! I thought it was some portable gaming system. Heh, I'd dial a random number then hang up! Hoo boy! That's always a blast!

Dodo: -_-0 yeeeah, anyway, call Flutter and ask him where the meeting is.

Ditto McCloaker

~In Afghanistan~

*we see a turbaned announcer standing in front of a video recorder with a microphone in front of the caves*

Arab: Are you looking for army-surplus equipment or just in the market for Taliban memorabilia? Well, then, it's times for you to come down to Crazy Osama's. That's right. Osama's is having a 50% off clearance sale right now!

In the market for a camel-hair turban or full-body dress for the office? One camel, or three chickens!

Beard and mustache grooming kit? One carpet.

High-powered automatic assault rifles! Never fired! All for one bicycle, or ride out of town!

This month, at Osama's, everything must go at Osama's 'Going out of business sale.' But you better hurry, cause when this sale is over...

*sound of bomb dropping from above*

Arab: Retreeeaaat!

Announcer: ... it's over.

*BOOM!*

Arab: Hurry up and wrap that thing up! We have to get out of here, quick!

Arab with camera: Sure, sure. I'll be right with you, just let me label this. *sticks on sticker with the world 'Osama's' on it* There. Now... hey, wait. I already labeled that other one about the boss talking about the terrorist attacks in a revealing and condemming manner with the same label. Oh well. *drops both* Uh oh. Which was it? Oh well. *picks up one* Okay, let's go!

Saph: These guys aren't the best fighters are they?

PWD

...Okay, I am TOTALLY LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE THE HECK AM I?!?!?!?!?!?!?! __________________________________________________ The Nintendo characters are still in that shack-thingy that the Icepick guy put them in.

Kirby- (Still bored) Yoshi?

Yoshi- (half-awake) What?

Kirby- ...Break the shack.

Yoshi- ...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Yoshi charges into a wall, breaking the shack instantly. The other Nintendo characters cheer without effort. Everyone jumps off, leaving the shack floating down the forever-long-endless-piece-of-crud-river.

Princess- ...Kirby?

Kirby- Yeah? What?

Princess- Do you realize that we could have escaped a LONG TIME AGO BUT DIDN'T AND NOW WE'RE LOST AND WE DON'T KNOW OUR WAY BACK TO THE OTHERS AND WE'RE TOTALLY SCREWED UP BECAUSE OF IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Kirby- ...Ah,...no?

Princess- GET HIM!!!!!!!!!!

Kirby- NO! WAIT!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Everyone jumps on Kirby.

*Luigi plops down in his office.* Luigi: Ahh... this may be the last time I see this for a while...

Splog: Hey Weeg...?

Luigi: Aw great... what'd you do now?

Splog: Nothing... nothing. It's just that there's some really tall guy here for you.

Luigi: Whaaaaaa.....?

*The ghost of Abraham Lincoln enters.*

Luigi: O.o

Abe: Howdy youngster. Protect our country.

*Abe turns to leave.*

Luigi: Wait! That's IT?!

Abe: Umm...

Luigi: I was expecting a big ol' party if I ever met one of our deceased presidents.

~Day Dream Dream Dream~

*Luigi sits in a comfy couch, sipping from a long-stemmed glass, as the other presidents socialize together.*

Luigi: Hey George! What's the formula for the area of a circle?

Washington: Why, I believe it's pi r squared.

Luigi: You lie!

Washington: I cannot tell a lie.

Luigi: But most pie are round, aren't they?

*The other presidents laugh as Washington's face blushes red.*

Washington: Guess you got me there...

~End Day Dream Dream Dream~

Luigi: Ah... wouldn't that be nice, eh Abe?

*No response.*

Luigi: Oh darn, he left.

Splog: Why don't you watch some TV to calm yourself?

Luigi: Eh... *clicks remote*

News Reporter: And in other news.... twelve nations of Europe have unified their currency today into the common denomination of Euros. This transition has been in the works for several years now, and was finally pulled off with the final production of the currency.

Luigi: ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Splog: Something wrong?

Luigi: Global unity! It's the end of the world man! We're gonna get left behind, I know it!!!!

Splog: Umm..... I'll come back later... maybe.....

***

Vorpal: Yello?

Flutter: Mr. President?

Vorpal: Flutter?

Flutter: What are you doing?

Vorpal: No, what are YOU doing?

Flutter: Trying to hold this place under wraps until you...

Vorpal: Flutter! The proper response is...

Flutter: Sir. Begging your pardon, but... GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!

Vorpal: Since when was it at wherever you're at?!

Flutter: We sent you the memo days ago, sir.

Vorpal: Did not.

Flutter: Did too.

Dodo: Mr. President? Did you ever try checking your Incoming box?

Vorpal: Wha?

*Vorpal looks at a tall stack of papers on his desk sitting in a tray labeled "incoming".*

Vorpal: Don't be silly, that's the Outgoing box.

Flutter: Sir, just get over here. We're at Camp David.

Vorpal: All right, all right. Sheesh.

*Vorpal clicks off his cell phone.*

Vorpal: Okay. Dodo, you give me a ride. PWD, you go round up any cabinet members that didn't get a memo either.

Dodo & PWD: Roger!

***

Luigi: I'm gonna need food. And I need to lock myself up. Security systems would be nice...

Splog: Weeg... don't you think you're overexaggerating? It's just ONE switch...

Luigi: That's what they all say. NOW GET TO WORK ON MY BOMB SHELTER!!!!

*PWD rushes in.*

PWD: Hey hey hey! We need to get to Camp David people! Go find your brother.

Splog: What's up?

PWD: World leaders meeting. They're serving brussel sprouts.

Splog: Drenched in cheese sauce?

PWD: You bet.

Splog: Whoo hoo!

Luigi: It must be the end of the world... if they're serving brussel sprouts and bringing all these politicians together.

PWD: What's wrong with brussel sprouts?!

Luigi: BLEAH!!!!

PWD: BITE YOUR TONGUE, MORTAL!!!!!

Luigi: Maybe I should. Quick and painless death is best when the world is ending. Like jumping out of a burning building.

Splog: You HAD to bring that up...

Luigi: Oh right, that's probably a bad example.

PWD: Look, just come anyway.

Luigi: No no. I must go to the Middle East now. It is parting time.

PWD: Do they still need you? They've got everyone except that Bin UpTaSomething guy and the Taliban leader.

Luigi: Huh?! I'd better hurry! Can't get the military have all the fun! Ta ta!

*Luigi pops out his helicopter and zooms out the window.*

Luigi: Tell my wife I love he... *crashes into a tree* HWAH!!!!

Splog: Maybe we need to hold his hand a bit longer....

PWD

Kirby- Yeah, that guy deserves to die! I think they'll hang him, and then electricute him, and then the firing squad, and then the guillotine, and then--

sweat::

Kirby, just shut up. You are in big trouble as it is.

Kirby- Oh, yeah,... __________________________________________________

Vorpal: See? Everything's under control.

Flutter:...

*BAM!*

The door is slammed open by the Nintendo characters, who look ticked off.

Yoshi- WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!?! I MEAN, YOU THREW US IN A BROKEN DOWN SHACK THINGY; WE GAVE YOU ENTERTAINMENT SINCE 1988!!!!!!!!!! DON'T WE MATTER ANYMORE?!?!?! DON'T WE MATTER?!?!?!

Kinopio- He's right, you know.

Paula- Let's get 'em!

Everyone- CHARGE!!!!!!!

Suddenly, PWD enters the room.

PWD- Okay, Mr. President, I recruited ... *realizes what's going on* WHAT IN SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!?! GET OFF THE PRESIDENT OF PLANET EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vorpal

Random World Leader: President of Planet Earth!? Do you think being President of the US makes you President of the Earth?

Vorpal: *fighting off Nintendo characters* Heh, heh, he didn't mean that, really. The United States respects every country, and we don't have a big head.

PWD- But I heard you say, *does bad Vorpal impression* "The US doesn't need any other country's consent, cause as far as I'm concerned, we'll do whatever we want, even if everyone else doesn't like it."

World Leaders start to get angry.

Vorpal: *sweatdrop* Heh, heh *grabs PWD and whispers angrily* That was an off-the-record comment Deeson!

PWD- Off . . . the . . . record? I don't understand. . .

Vorpal: AAAAAAAHHHHH! *stares angrily at Nintendo characters and PWD* OUT! *points to door*

Nintendo characters and PWD slowly walk out, dejected.

Vorpal: Anybody else wanna peice of this? Huh? How 'bout Italy? You wanna piece 'o the US?

World Leaders mumble to themselves. None counter Vorpal.

Vorpal: Good. Now that that's settled, who's up for some . . . volleyball?

Several hands raise up into the air.

Flutter: Volleyball? That's not on the agenda.

PWD

*Sigh* MEGA MEGA EXTREME DOKI DOKI PANIK BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapters in Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik 3: Very Foreign Policy

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