Shiny Stallone

Another guy who should be from the future but really isn't. Shiny Stallone was a prominent Italian mob boss who loved stereotypical Italian things such as pasta. He originally appeared in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel when That Krazy Dude was coerced into working for Shiny's mafia in the gang war against Pauly Shore and the Eastside Fruits. Shiny showed his ability to distract enemies when he took off his hat and exposed his bald head.

He directed That Krazy Dude, No Name and Edwin to The Dreamer, and even though he worked better as a mob boss, he decided to join with the pirates. Aside from the occasional lines he did nothing, and later on the GCPA sold his soul to Clyde Worthen.

In the GCPA Finale, they were finally bought back. During the meantime, Shiny had started a homosexual relationship with fellow crewmate Salama. He returned with a degree of Judo prowess, but also pissed offness at having his soul sold in the first place, as well as at the laidbackness of the crew. When he could not take anymore, he quit to continue running his criminal empire. He resurfaced at Count Gonad's ball, where he was running for president for the Italian Party and dating Lance Bass. Shiny sought to put an end to the pirates' laidback lifestyle and talked Karl, One-Armed Willy, Nemo and Asian Distracting Dude into accepting jobs at his new casino, and he also took Salama back after he made Shiny jealous.

Shiny Stallone eventually helped the GCPA temporarily for the final battles, and then he became the new world president. He held a long-distance marriage with Salama (whom had rejoined the GCPA) and was in the last scene revealed to be pregnant.