Gamehiker Member OG Sidequest: ENGLAND???

Start: February 1, 2006
End: August 2, 2006
Timeline: Good Timeline
Writers: Golem, Masamune, Luigi of the Pipes, GORE-ILLA, Fred.
Main Cast: Masamune, Donkeyman, Luiigii of the Pipes, GORE-ILLA, Golem, SteveT, Mariorocks 64, Sapphire, Fred, Ditto McCloaker.
New Characters: Donkeyman
Archive: Read it here

Overview

A part of the Gamehiker Member OG series that was started while the main forums were down. It features the premiere of the Donkeyman. Chronologically it falls before Gamehiker Member OG VIII: The Final Parody.

Plot Summary

The Gamehikers (Luiigii of the Pipes, SteveT, Golem, GORE-ILLA, Fred and Sapphire) are hanging out in the Restaurant at the Center of the Universe when they discover that Masamune is selling Gamehiker.com to Satan. Masa gives Satan his soul and offers the personal info of his members in exchange for a working site. Masamune confronts the Gamehikers for blood types. Sapphire leaves due to boredom but a Sapphire plushie is left behind in her place. GORE and Fred wind up fighting each other while the rest battle Masamune, who destroys the Sapphire plushie.

While Luigi and SteveT get busy with their own fight against each other, Golem and Vorpal are the only good Gamehikers remaining. They rush over to Golem's house in hopes of beating Masa to the personal files hidden in Golem's basement. Golem arrives first and burns the house down after evacuating his family. Masamune then stops everyone by holding up a disc containing the entire Gamehiker's site on it. Masa threatens to break the disc unless they give him what Satan was going to give him - his own late night talk show. The Donkeyman, president of UPN, overhears this and gives Masa his talk show.

Golem, Vorpal, Luigi and SteveT, the only remaining Gamehikers, are drafted into being the staff on Masamune's talk show. GORE and Fred operate on the outside, attempting to intimidate Donkeyman and learn his evil plan in Batman fashion. Masamune's talk show is cowboy-themed. The crew is annoyed by the talk show and so they decide to sabotage it. First they have GORE, Fred, Sapphire and Ditto McCloaker (back from his death in Gamehiker Member OG IV) dress up as the four of them (Golem, SteveT, Luigi and Vorpal). Golem's group then makes attempts to sabotage the show, but Donkeyman captures them and warns them that the sabotage would breach their contract. The four wind up returning to their positions on the crew as broken men. But the other four Gamehikers still have their spirits.

Ditto, Sapphire, Fred and GORE are able to discover Donkeyman's evil and complex plan to cancel Masamune's show when it was doing good, to cause Masa's ultimate downfall. The four vow to stop Donkeyman, but they are soon captured and held in the Flying Nuclear Submarine by Mariorocks. They are able to escape long enough to display Donkeyman's plan on the side of the sub. Only Vorpal reads the message and assumes his other identity as Vorp-Man in order to stop Donkeyman while the last episode Donkeyman needed was being filmed. Vorp-Man tells Masa of Donkeyman's true motives.

Donkeyman once again uses his legal lingo to attack Masamune. Masamune appears to cower from Donkeyman, but Masa then quickly turns on him, commandeering the Flying Nuclear Submarine and smashing it into the UPN Headquarters, seemingly destroying Donkeyman. Because his insurance did not cover Flying Nuclear Submarines, this at least destroyed him financially. Donkeyman soon appeared from the wreckage, pumped up in Super Donkeyman mode and tried attacking the Gamehikers until he smacked too many pillars away, causing mass amounts of wreckage to fall on him. Donkeyman was presumed dead, and the Gamehikers resumed their normal lives. However, Donkeyman was still alive and, in a post-credits sequence, secretly watched Vorpal change out of his Vorp-Man costume and thus learning Vorp-Man's secret identity.

Quotes

~Golem nods and runs into his house.~

Golem: Family! Run fleeing from this OG so as to make it look like I cared enough to warn you to leave which I did!

Golem's Family: ~runs fleeing from the OG~

~Golem sets his house on fire, then sniffles as he stands outside and watches.~

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Mariorocks: You hear dat, boss? Sounds poifect!

Donkeyman: Perfect indeed... this is a surefire way to get revenge on Masamune for what he did to my family for generations!!
-Enter Donkeyman and Mariorocks

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Masa: Vorpal, Voooorpal. You`re doing Kowboy`s Korner. It`s got K`s because it`s what the kids want and also one of our sponsors is a white supremist group.

---

SteveT: Well, I don`t know about anyone else, but I`m not interested in not killing Donkeyman brutally, now. I mean, you`re all next, but Donkeyman first.

Donkeyman: Oh, I think not, Steve, for I know the one significant weakness the vast majority of you possess. Release it!

(A huge electromagnet comes out of the wall, taking the vorpal sword, Luigi`s lightsabers, and steve with it, and Golem`s wristwatch or something.)

Golem: Hey, that cost money I think.

Stories in the Gamehiker Member OG series.

Main Series: I - II - III - IV - V - VII - VI - VIII - IX - X - XI Sidequests: ENGLAND??? - FRANCE??? - MAGIKOOPA??? Holiday Specials: Merry Christmas - Father's Day Other: Galaxy Goers - Ultimate Galaxy Goers