Mr. T

Full Name: Lawrence Tureaud
Birthdate: May 21, 1952
Species: Kickass Deity
Nationality: United States of America
Creator: The Great Pitier
First Appearance: The OnGoing Adventures of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada

Background

Mr. T, the purest embodiment of all that is kickass in the universe, first met with the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada on the moon. He appeared from nowhere, disguised as one of Whoopi Goldberg's nun henchwomen, and quickly helped Captain Monkeyman Scruffy and Que Pasa to defeat Whoopi. Afterwards he decided to join the crew as their bodyguard.

Mr. T became of the captain's closest friends, and to the rest of the crew he was both an inspiration and a father figure. However, he was unable to accompany the GCPA in their big showdown with Bob Saget at the climax of The OnGoing Adventures of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada, due to the fact that while he was the embodiment of all kickass in the universe, Bob Saget was the embodiment of all evil, and being in the same room would destroy the entire universe.

Another of Mr. T's notable moments was The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Valentine's Day Special: Mind of the Tapdancer, Heart of Granola, where Mithos used his love-powers to control Mr. T (whom he affectionately referred to as T-Bone) and with his awesome powers took over the world, but T was eventually saved by his crew.

Abilities

Mr. T is mighty strong and can toss any opposers helluva far, or simply beat them to the ground. A master of every fighting art, he is also skilled with firearms, his favorite gun being the BFG. Practically nothing can penetrate his invulnerable school, which was built up by years of drinking milk, staying in school and not doing drugs (Although during his first meeting with the crew, Que Pasa asked, "Is that what you look like when you take steroids?", angering the T-Man).

He has also let the crew ride in his van on occasion, so long as he drives.

Trivia

Mr. T once made his own rap song urging people across the world to respect their mothers.

Quotes

"And I'm helluva tough!"

"So it was that fool Bob Saget that was really behind it all. I knew it was him. You can tell by his crappy performance in Fool and Foolerer."

Scruffy: What? What happened? Where are we?

Mr. T: On the deck of the Golden Cheesecake, fool. You flew right onto the deck. You must drink your milk.

Scruffy: Yeah whatever. But where are the others?

Mr. T: Don't know. Mr. T did see fourteen streaks of fool-light spreading across this fool fool universe. Don't touch my gold. -An exchange from The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA.