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Pages in the Member OG 5A Archive

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Editor's Note: There is a missing page that was lost due to a server crash. After the crash, Golem reposted the previous four pages. What follows is how the story continued after the server crash.

Episode 54: "Super MechaGodzilla strikes" by Black Skull Dragoshi

???:I shall make my return!

Suddenly,a metallic figure that looks like Godzilla rises out of one of the Atlantic Ocean awakens.

Super MechaGodzilla:I shall have my revenge on BSD and THE MAN for what they did to me 15 years ago.

SMG uses his leg jets to fly to BSGD's location.

TO BE CONTINUED.....................

Episode 55 by Golem

~Meanwhile...~

Koopa XVII?: Sir, what if they don't arrive?

Lupus: Mmm?

Koopa XVII?: They'd have hopped on the scene or something by now.

Lupus: I've already dealt with that. What kind of a dunce do you think I am? ~turns to MON-KILL~ How do we get the OGers' attention?

Episode 56: "Krad Wars" by Yami Yoshi

Inside a bunker on the surface of Krad...

The bunker is a small cubicle surrounded by metal walls. A Kradian wearing a black military suit sits at a lamplit desk in front of a laptop screen. He wears a nametag labeled "Commander Lucifer".

Lucifer: Huh? What's this?

*Lucifer types the word "Space Cam" and a window pops up with Introbulus's stationwagon*

Lucifer: Invaders...In a stationwagon!? *spits cigarette out* Those idiots think they must have the capability to stop us with THAT?

*Lucifer pulls a walkie talkie and flips on the ON switch*

Lucifer: General Hades!

General Hades : *bzzt* Yes sir!

Lucifer: Deploy 5 Skull-Pods to space. Your mission is to locate and destroy a stationwagon-like object. Is your mission clear!

General Hades: Yes sir!

30000 miles above the surface of Krad...

BSD: *sighs* Are we there yet?

Introbulus: Stop complaining. We'll be landing in approximately 3 minutes...

SwordMaster: So this...is Krad.

*SwordMaster stares out the stationwagon window at the huge black planet*

SwordMaster: Hey! What are those spherical objects hovering over there?

Yami Yoshi: What?

*Yami Yoshi moves over to the window*

Yami Yoshi: Skull Pods! And they're flying toward us!

BSD: We have to destroy them!

Pharaoh: Yeah...in a stationwagon? Sure...

Dark Jim: They must have detected our presence from the planet!

GORE: I'll take care of them!

*GORE opens the car door and flies out toward the Skull Pods*

Yami Yoshi: *shuts the door* Hey! I can't breathe!

BSD: Ack! I'm sufficating!

Introbulus: Don't worry...repressurizing room...

*Introbulus presses a button on the car's control panel on the oxygen level returns to normal*

Pharaoh: Damn...why did the author make these OGs so realistic?

In space...

Kradian 1: Hey! What's that?

Kradian 2: One of the invaders emerged from the stationwagon!

General Hades: Who cares? Kill it now!

Kradian 1: Yes sir! Deploying Skull Missile!

*The Kradian fires a Skull-Missile at GORE*

GORE: You imps want to fight?

*GORE pulls out his red lightsaber*

GORE: It's showtime!

*As the Skull Missile approaches GORE, the simian swings his lightsaber horizontally slicing the Skull Missile in half*

Kradian 2: What? How the hell did he do that?

General Hades: Get out there and stop him!

*Kradian 2 jumps out of his Skull-Pod and flies toward GORE armed with a Fireball Cylinder Cannon*

GORE: You think your Pringles can is gonna stop me?

*Kradian 2 pressed a button on his cannon and fired a barrage of fireballs at GORE*

GORE: Heh.

*GORE used his lightsaber as a baseball bat and deflected each of the fireballs back toward the Skull-Pods*

General Hades: Crap! Look out!

*The fireballs collided into each one of the ships damaging them*

Kradian 2: S-s-sorry General!

General Hades: YOU IDIOT!!! KILL HIM NOW!!!

*Kradian 2 turned on his jetpack and flew over to GORE and swung his collosal claw at him. GORE perried the attack and slashed the Kradian's claw off*

Kradian 2: ARGH!

*The Kradian screamed in pain as droplets of blood floated out of his right out his arm*

Kradian 2: ...Dammit...

*GORE punched the Kradian's helmet shattering glass everywhere. The Kradian's eyes popped and his body floated lifeless in space*

General Hades: *thinking* How the hell can that guy do that? ABORT MISSION NOW!

Kradians 4 and 5: Yes sir!

*The remaining three Skull-Pods flew back toward Krad just as the stationwagon showed up. GORE opened the door and reentered the stationwagon*

GORE: That'll show them....

BSD: Ack! Sufficating!

Introbulus: *sighs*

Meanwhile inside the bunker...

Commander Lucifer: What? You failed!?

General Hades: Yes sir! We failed sir!

Commander Lucifer: These are obviously no ordinary invaders...Hades!

General Hades: Yes sir!

Commander Lucifer: Deploy the Skull Fighters. With shields and missiles 10 times stronger than that of a Skull Pod, even THEY won't stand a chance...Heh heh heh...

To Be Continued...

And meanwhile the TWIFATIT was STILL waiting!

Episode 57: "They Finally Have a Place in the Plot!" by Gamechamp

Meanwhile, nearby that area in space...

5 objects are floating around, not moving, then, one of them wakes up.

GC: Huh? What the heck? Everyone, wake up!

Green, Black, Blue, and Yellow wake up.

Green: Oh, no! That cyclone actually blew us into space!

Yellow: The treasure is gone!

Blue: We're poor again!

ALL: Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!

GC: It's all the OGers' fault! They should have beaten that monster more quickley so we wouldn't have time to be traitors to them!

Black: But I think you're forgetting that you summoned the monster so that we would have time!

GC: Well maybe you shouldn't have come up with the idea!

Black: But you believed it!

Green: Stop! We can't argue while we're floating in outer space!

GC: Then what do we do?

Yellow: Well, we could try and do something we haven't tried in a while: do something evil!

Blue: We really should! Some people are starting to think that we're good guys!

GC: Perhaps that special book of mine might have something...

He takes out an old book, and starts reading.

GC: Hmmmmm... this seems interesting... there seems to be some kind of ancient temple on the planet Krad nearby, and it has an ancient item on it, hidden there thousands of years ago... an item of great power...

Episode 58: "Why is this topic so dead all of a sudden?" by Yami Yoshi

*The stationwagon lands inside a rocky canyon on Krad behind a large black stone slab*

Introbulus: Hiding here will hopefully buy us some time before the Krad Military finds us.

BSD: What are we gonna do in the meantime?

Yami Yoshi: We should probably wait for Golem to return with those maps. It's unsafe to venture out in unfamiliar territory...

SwordMaster: Hey! Do you guys here that?

Velocity: Hear what?

SwordMaster: Be quiet...Listen...

*The OGers hear the sound of footsteps getting closer and closer to the stationwagon*

GORE: Is it the military?

SwordMaster: I don't know but whatever it is, it's getting closer. I'm gonna go check it out.

Yami Yoshi: It's too dangerous to go alone. I'll come with you.

*SwordMaster and Yami Yoshi hop out of the stationwagon and step in front of the stone slab*

Yami Yoshi: What the hell is that?

*Yami Yoshi and SwordMaster see a machine about 15 feet tall walking toward them. It's head resembles that of a Skull-Pod and is mounted on top of a huge black robotic body. The central section of its body is cubular-shaped and has a white skull imprinted in the center of it. Metal rods connect the arms and the legs to the central-cube. The right hand of the robot holds a large laser gun and the left hand holds nothing but it is larger than the right hand*

Inside the robot...

Kradian: So these are the invaders who destroyed those two Skull Pods...Oh well, even they won't stand a chance against a Skull Fighter! Let's heat things up!

Outside the Skull Fighter...

Yami Yoshi: Stay on your guard!

*The Skull Fighter points its laser blaster at Yami Yoshi and fires a red laser that sears past his face and hits the floor of the canyon burning a hole through the canyon floor*

Yami Yoshi: Holy sh* t!

*The Skull Fighter points its laser blaster at SwordMaster and fires another red laser. SwordMaster holds up his sword and reflects the laser back at the Skull Fighter but the force smashes him into one of the walls of the canyon. The reflected laser hits the c*ckpit of the Skull Fighter*

Kradian: Grrrr...Time to crush you!

*The Skull Fighter winds up his left fist ready to throw a punch*

Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg!

*Yami Yoshi throws a Dark Egg at the Skull Fighter's fist and explodes. The fireworks expelled from the egg incinerate the Skull Fighter's fist*

Kradian: What!? In one attack? Impossible!

*SwordMaster brushes the gravel off his clothes and jumps on top of the Skull Fighter laser blaster*

SwordMaster: Take this!

*SwordMaster holds the blade of his sword downward, stabs it into the laser gun, and jumps off. The laser gun emits a few waves of electricity and explodes. SwordMaster catches his sword as it falls toward the ground*

Kradian: Hmph! I must have underestimated you invaders but try to resist THIS attack! SUPER SKULL LASER!

*The skull on the Skull Fighter's chest glows red*

Yami Yoshi: Absorption Egg!

*Yami Yoshi creates an Absorption Egg and holds it above his head just as the Skull Fighter fires its Super Skull Laser. The laser is absorbed by crack of the Absorption Egg*

Yami Yoshi: Take this!

*Yami Yoshi hurls the Absorption Egg and it rolls toward the Skull Fighter like a boulder. The collision results in a fiery red explosion that illuminates the entire area. When the smoke and dust clear, the scorched Kradian faces the two OGers with an expression of terror on his face*

Kradian: W-w-who are you guys!!??

Yami Yoshi: We are the OGers! We represent the justice of this galaxy!

SwordMaster: Evil-doers shall pay for their actions!

Kradian: No!

*The Kradian trips over the remains of his Skull Fighter and runs away*

SwordMaster: Sword Beam!

*SwordMaster's sword glows and fires a golden curved beam at the Kradian which slices his body in half*

Yami Yoshi: We have to get outta here! Let's head back to the stationwagon!

SwordMaster: Right!

*Yami Yoshi and SwordMaster run back into the stationwagon*

GORE: There were so many explosions outside! What happened?

Yami Yoshi: No time to explain...Introbulus! Let's get outta here! The military's gonna be on us any moment!

Introbulus: Right!

*The stationwagon flies out of the canyon*

Yami Yoshi: Aw crap...

*About 1000 Skull Fighters surround both sides of the canyon, each one pointing its laser gun at the stationwagon*

Author: Lemonjello

Suddenly, three Lemonjelloes clad in black trenchcoats appear in front of the station wagon.

Lemonjello: I am Lemonjello! I stand for crabs, the letter W and cheese! ph33r!

Limejello: INDEED.

Grapejello: HOY HOY HUZZAH.

YY: ...the HACK?

Lemonjello: Yes. We have been sent here by Commander Lupus to destroy the OGers once and for all. Why? We don't know. But, unfortunetly for you OGers, we have to pay the bills. And now for something completely different!

Limejello: Limely flood of limely Fred the Spanyard rippoffness! *a flood of lime jello rushes towards the OGers and detroys the skull fighters, but the flood stops centimeters in front of the station wagon*

Grapejello: Enough of this bake sale induced mania! It is time for you to die OGers! For Bob Villa has informed us of the one weakness of your station wagon! HaHA! *rips out the station wagon's hood ornament, which causes the station wagon to turn into cheese, then the cheese turns into oxygen*

Lemonjello: And now for our final attack! The HMS Pinafore!

*The threesome then sing the HMS Pinafore in its entirety*

Grapejello: How did you like THAT?

Limejello: It appears that they have run away whilst we were singing.

Lemonjello: Curses! To the Batmobile! *Lime, LJ and Grape jump into the Batmobile and drive after the OGers*

Limejello: *picks up the Bat phone and presses a few numbers* Yes, on Krad....no...yes...just hurry, okay?

Grapejello: Who was that?

Limejello: It was Admin5. He's going to help us for my old newspapers from the 80's.

*evil laughter*

Author: Fred

(Our "heroes" float in space, after being defeated by such a powerful group as the "SUPER HAPPY-HAPPY-FUN-LEMONJELLO-ROBOT-SQUAD!!!11", and realise that there was no way to physically get away while the LJs were singing. How was it done? Introbulus had a spare in his pocket. Shutup, it's a plot device)

Introbulus: Yes! I am quite ingenious!

YY: Um, we're simply floating in space. This thing isn't going anywhere.

Jim: This better not be the emergency blow-up stationwagon.

Introbulus: Er...

Pharoh: Please, can I stab him?

YY: Stop it. Ok, we have three problems on our hands. First of all, Earth is being invaded by The Anti-OGers. Secondly, Ajukin is being realeased from his seal at an improved rate. And thirdly, we can't get anywhere.

Dark Jim: And all of these problems lead to basically the end of the universe.

Velocity: That pretty much sums it up.

GORE: Well, we have to get to Krad somehow.

Introbulus: Oh, that's easy. I installed space-age technology on this thing while I had free time between stories.

Darm Jim/Pharoh: We hate you.

YY: Get it going. We're going to bust a cap on evil... Clint Eastwood style.

Jim Carey: NO!! NO YOU AREN'T!

Sonic: So, you think you can tell these guys what to do?

Jim Carey: Yes. WE MUST FIGHT!

(JC throws a punch at Sonic, who kicks him in the face. This occurs and keeps going for about five minutes.)

Sonic: YOUR KUNG-FU IS WEAK

Jim Carey: Foolish one, I use MEGA SEIZURE RAY!

Sonic: YOU ARE GOOD, BUT I USE MEGA SEIZURE RAY... AND A HALF!

Jim Carey: CURSE YOU CARRIBEAN SUN!

(Jim Carey explodes)

YY:... Um, what just happened?

Sonic: LJ must have sent someone to take over narration. Finally, I'm helping out in some way!

Writer 1: Alright, that's it buddy...

Sonic: Aw ****...

Jim: Ok, enough of that. Get this thing moving.

Introbulus: Whoops, I forgot how to work it.

Everyone: We hate you.

Author: GORE-ILLA

GORE: I have an idea! We can split up: Five of us will return to Earth and fight the Anti-OGers while the others keep the Kradians distracted!

Yami Yoshi: Alright! The Pharoah, SwordMaster, Darrk Jim, BSD, and I will stay here. You, Velocity, Introbulus, PL-0TT, and Jim will go back to Earth with PL's transporter. Once you take care of them, you can have PL transport you back to Krad!

SM: Then why didn't we have PL trasport us here in the first pl-

Yami: Silence! GORE's team, gather around PL, my team, follow me!

Yami's team runs off, while GORE's team surrounds PL.

PL: Anti-OGer power signatures detected... activating teleportation systems...

GORE's team disappears in a blinding flash.

Elsewhere...

Private: (wielding a dark orb) Sir, I've found it!

Lucifer: Good job, General.

General: Cool!

Lucifer: Bweh heh heh... Once Lord Evil is released, Akujin will be soon to follow... Mwahahhahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To Be Continued...

Author: Lemonjello

In a flash of cheesy goodness, Lagomorph Setzer teleported in front of Lucifer and Private. Lagomorph whipped out his cheese ray and killed the private then grabbed the dark orb thingy.

Lucifer: Hey! That's mine!

Lagomorph: Meh.

Lucifer: GIVE THAT TO ME!

Lagomorph: I like milk. *begins tossing the orb up and down*

Lucifer: Hey! That thing is very- *the orbs falls to the floor and shatters*

Lagomorph: Now what?

Lucifer: WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE TO TORMENT ME?

Lagomorph: It pays well. Now reimburse me for the orb you made me break!

???: SILENCE FOOLS!

Lucifer: *GASP!* Lord Evil!

Lagomorph: Lord Evil? Holy HACK that is the lamest name for a villain I have ever heard.

Lord Evil: *unsheaths two flaming katanas* Now you die-oh, HACK!

Lagomorph: What?

Lord Evil: My swords are melting. I really hate that. I mean, they look so cool before they melt.

Lagomorph: Have you tried using aerosol?

Lord Evil: What would that do?

Lagomorph: Um, well, it would, as the Japanese say... *sprays Lord Evil in the eyes with a can of spray paint, then punches his stomach*

LuciferL: You shall pay for this! *takes out a sword*

Lagomorph: For cheese! *throws Lucifer out the window. Lucifer falls onto a garbage truck which flies off to Jupiter*

Lord Evil: Now you die, you very silly person!

[insert very long and drawn out fight scene here. after fight scene, Lord Evil and Lagomorph are seen standing in the rubble of a building. Both of them are bledding badly.]

Lord Evil: Now *cough* I have you, you *cough* weakling.

Lagomorph: I still have one last option... *takes an cell phone out of his pocket and dials*

Meanwhile, with Fred, whereever he is...

Fred: Oooh, the cell phone rings!

Bill Cosby: Excellent.

Author: Fred

Bill Cosby: Sire Fredrick, thou must avenge your father and kill Evil.

Fred: Did he kill my father!?

Bill Cozby: No, I made that up. He actually just stole my subway coupons.

Fred: The fiend! His cabinets shall be mentioned to my telephone's cord. Adieu, wise one.

Bill Cozby: That's Wise One! With capitals, fool!

Fred: Shutup. I don't know where I am anymore, but I shall use my POWER RANGERS BRAND TELEPORTER to get to Lagamorph Setzer. Because.

Bill Cozby: Why? Er, I mean, SOMEONE'S IN THE KITCHEN WITH DYNA.

Fred: Correct. You can change your name back to what it really was...BILL COZBYL!

Bill CozbyL: Shh! Not So loud!

(Fred teleports away)

Bill CozbyL: Now he's going to spill it to everyone.

Author: GORE-ILLA

Lord Evil: Impressive, Lagomorph. You must be one of my strongest fighters to tire out my humaoid form.

Lagomorph: What?! I don't work for you!

Evil: My name isn't just some crappy cliche villain name. I'm the living embodiment of all Evil in the universe! The little voice in your head, that's always telling to do bad things, that's my voice. Every villain in this universe is a puppet of mine. In this form, I can merely influence people. I my true form, I have complete control over every evil being!

Lagomorph: Son of a dancing prarie dog!

Evil: I shall now demonstrate my powers!

Evil transforms into a giant demon wielding a long pitchfork. His head glows. The glow travels down his neck, across his shoulder, over his arm, and up the pitchfork to its tips. It then splits into billions of lasers that scatter in differant directions.

Lagomorph: So what was that?

Evil: I just sent commands to billions of villains across the galaxy.

One last beam flies into Lagomorph's head. He clutches his head.

(Inside Lagomorph's mind...)

Lagomorph stands, surrounded by darkness. Voices come from the darkness as it gets closer to him...

Darkness: Obey Evil, he is your master..........Obey Evil, he is your master..........Obey Evil, he is your master..........Obey Evil, he is your master..........Obey! Obey!

The darkness disappears.

*Outside....*

Lagomorph: Whoa.

Evil: Yes. Now that you know who you are dealing wi- (gets whacked in the face by a familiar hammer.)

To Be Continued...