Bob Saget

Full Name: Robert Lane Saget

Birthdate: May 17, 1956
Species: Human
Nationality: United States of America
Creator: Mr. and Mrs. Saget
First Appearance: The OnGoing Adventures of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada

Background

Bob Saget, a seemingly innocent actor, was actually the embodiment of pure evil. This led him to become the Sith Lord Darth Tang and inject himself with telemarketer DNA to enhance his powers. At one point he was a friend of Mr. Feeny, but the two's conflicting philosophies (Saget wanting pirates to rule the universe while Feeny wanted peace between pirates and other people) formed a rift in their friendship. From his base on the moon, he started injecting various random celebrities with telemarketer DNA to create a whole army for him. Over the years he has also sought an apprentice.

First he found the dying Morgorrrn in the GCPA Prequel, and saved him, putting him in a cyborg body and calling him Darth Bamboozle. He then brought in Count Gonad as his Darth Testicus, but Gonad was just a placeholder until he could find the apprentice of his dreams- That Krazy Dude of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada. Clashing indirectly with the GCPA several times, That Krazy Dude eventually chose to train under Saget as Darth Moose. But That Krazy Dude eventually betrayed Saget to help his friends. After an explosive final battle, Captain Monkeyman Scruffy delivered the fatal blow to Saget, destroying him, but from his remains sprung a tornado that tossed the pirates across the galaxy.

In The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel, Saget was revealed to have had yet another, even more powerful apprentice- who was ultimately revealed to be Eugene Levy. Although Bob Saget has seemingly died for good, there have been various attempts at resurrection, and several Bob Saget clones remain as mindless shells of their former selves. Probably the most notable resurrection was in Sausage Fest '05, as it was the first successful one, where he was revived by a team of various GCPA enemies with a sample of Scruffy's blood.

Bob Saget was revived, seemingly for good in The Semi-Last Stand. It turned out that years ago, when a young Preadolescent Siren flashed him and Mr. Feeny, her pirate powers absorbed a piece of Saget's soul. Years later, when Siren became Dark Siren and her dormant powers returned, that piece of Bob Saget's soul was freed and able to revive himself. He assembled a Brotherhood of Evil Pirates Who Think They're Doing Good and led a raid on Lipton Island to destroy the pirate cure. After a long battle, Bob Saget was defeated when he was injected by the pirate cure, but the ending suggested he still retained his pirate powers.

He was last seen making a deal with the Viking King in the 2006 Christmas special.

Abilities

Bob Saget's most deadliest trait is his creepy eyes, which freeze anyone who looks into them in place with sheer terror (but they were shattered after he got a close-up view of Skanky Siren. His telemarketer DNA also greatly enhanced his powers and given him regenerative properties. That, combined with his Force powers, makes him one of the deadliest beings in the universe.

Trivia

The Saget phenomonon originated in a chat involving Golem, GORE-ILLA and Gamefreak.

Quotes

"Oh, and Lord Moose? You're fired." -Bob Saget as he tortures his former apprentice.

"Certainly you did not think that victory was so simple to obtain! I am Bob Saget! Future ruler of this universe! And I cannot be stopped. I have the persistence of a telemarketer, the limitless power of the dark side and the eyes of extreme creepiness! I cannot be vanquished so easily, as you shall very soon see!"

"That's it. Look into my eyes, and your soul will be lost forever..."